EP. 315 — Ambulance LIVE! (w/ Roxane Gay)

Paul Scheer [00:00:00] Explosions, drone shots, a big dog and a very impaled child. Michael Bay is back, baby. We saw Ambulance. So you know what that means. 

Intro Song [00:00:31] [Music] 

Paul Scheer [00:01:15] We are here live at Largo at the Coronet, our home in Los Angeles, and the home of this film. Ambulance or Ambula-ance. I don’t know how you’re supposed to pronounce it, but this movie is Los Angeles. This is what it’s like on a day and day out basis. Vendors in the street being run over constantly. All these confetti vendors just killed willy nilly. This movie came out just a little while ago in 2022. And if you want to know what it’s about, if you feel like you want a little refresher, here it is. Robbery goes bad, escapes in ambulance. That’s it. There’s a lot more going on. But that’s all you need to know is Michael Bay was like, how about I take that 45 minutes and go, I’ll double it. And that’s what he did. 2 hours and 16 minutes. It is a full on chase film. I think there’s maybe about 5 minutes when they’re not in the ambulance. And that is about it. We are rocking, we are rolling. It may be Michael Bay’s best movie in years. I loved it. So spoiler alert there. But we are going to break it down and every conceivable way and we’re going to do that with my co-host. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Jason Mantzoukas. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:02:55] What’s up, jerks?! Aha. Here we go! A Michael Bay movie that references other Michael Bay movies. Come on. You can’t make a movie and talk about The Rock and Bad Boys? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. (audience chants) Yes, you can. Yes, you can. All right. 

Paul Scheer [00:03:22] There is a part of me that doesn’t even believe that Michael Bay made those movies. Like, he’s like, I forgot about those. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:31] Yeah. 

Paul Scheer [00:03:32] So much shit goes on in my life. Yeah, I heard Bad Boys is fucking great. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:37] That’s the thing is, Michael Bay’s interested in making movies that acknowledge that his authorship has created things that people in pop culture or people in culture need to talk about. Cops being like, “Let’s get out of the car Bad Boys style.” That’s what they’re saying. So here we go. 

Paul Scheer [00:03:58] I’m excited because, you know, we know she loves a plane movie, but does she love an ambulance movie? Please welcome my other co-host, June Diane Raphael. Hi, June. How are you? 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:24] I am well. How are you, Paul? 

Paul Scheer [00:04:25] Very good. Now, June, we did not watch this movie together. We watch it separately in the same house. 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:30] And on different platforms. 

Paul Scheer [00:04:32] Yes. I told you, don’t buy it. It’s on Amazon for free. But you did buy it. 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:37] I did.  

Paul Scheer [00:04:41] Already owned it. 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:45] June, where do you fall on Michael Bay? I mean, I ask that sincerely because I don’t know if I know. 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:49] Yeah, I. I find his movies to be ridiculous. I mean, I do. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:56] I think he does as well. 

June Diane Raphael [00:04:57] Yeah. But I don’t think I’ve ever watched a Michael Bay movie this closely. 

Paul Scheer [00:05:05] Right. With a pen in hand. 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:06] Yes. With a pen in hand taking copious notes. So this was a different experience. And, you know, I know our guest will have a lot to say about it, but this is a very long movie. So I guess that’s my question. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:19] Or not long enough? 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:21] One could argue. 

Paul Scheer [00:05:23] Bad Boys 2 really push the limits. I think that was like 2:45. Oh, yeah, they can be long. They can be definitely long. But you know what? But they feel like they just go by in a blink of an eye. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:38] Is that the t-shirt? 

Paul Scheer [00:05:41] Michael Bay movies, they may be long, but they go by in a blink of an eye. And it’s like out of focus because a drone shot it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:51] Not enough drones. 

Paul Scheer [00:05:54] Los Angeles, We are very excited tonight because we have an amazing guest. She is a writer. She is a professor. She’s an editor. She’s a social commenter, a podcaster, the author of The New York Times best selling essay collection, Bad Feminist, a memoir called Hunger. Please welcome Roxane Gay. 

Roxane Gay [00:06:25] Wow. Alright, shout out lesbians. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:30] Let it be known. People in the audience stood for Roxane Gay’s introduction. 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:34] Nobody’s ever stood. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:35] The first time anybody’s ever stood at this show. 

Paul Scheer [00:06:41] But Roxane, I feel like, you know, we. I’ve seen you on Twitter talk about your love of movies like this. Like this is kind of in your wheelhouse.

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:52] To be fair, Roxane chose this movie.

Roxane Gay [00:06:52] I picked this movie. 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:53] This is all Roxane. 

Roxane Gay [00:06:55] And last night I went to rewatch it and I was going to rent it because I did not know about the Amazon. And I already owned it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:02] Both of us. 

Roxane Gay [00:07:04] I mean, we know quality. It is what it is. I love a Michael Bay movie because like the more ridiculous shit he does, like, did you notice that they, normally in a movie they’ll put like LAPD on the cars but they like stenciled police on the cars And I was just like, I’m going to cry. This is so amazing that we don’t. No affiliation. Just police. 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:30] Just police.

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:32] Also CNN. They just cut off one of the final legs. So it was the exact same font, but they turned it to CM. There is so much stuff like that throughout. 

Roxane Gay [00:07:44] I’m sorry, but the details here. The homage to Point Break with the guy that got run over. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:56] Are you talking about Birkenstock Trent? 

Roxane Gay [00:07:57] Yes. And he’s missing body parts. I was like oh, my God, Yes. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:05] And he goes, “What’d you do to my legs?!” 

Roxane Gay [00:08:08] To see his leg at a fucked up angle and a little Birkenstock hanging from it. And then the guy is like, “You should have worn real shoes.” 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:17] And here’s the thing about that sequence, because at first I was like, I did, when the Birkenstocks came up, I was thinking to myself, those are dangerous shoes. To do crime, but also to just be a civilian walking around the world like I’ve been in Birkenstocks and I’ve been unsafe in them. And so when he died via Birkenstock. 

Paul Scheer [00:08:41] You’re going to get run over, I was convinced that that guy was Matt Damon. I thought that was Matt Damon doing a character because he looked to me just like I was like, this guy is like he had a little bit of a Matt Damon look. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:53] Yeah, what Bay gets is that there needs to be a Birkenstock Trent. There needs to be in the crew a guy who’s just a complete weirdo, who’s wearing Birkenstocks, who gets crushed, and the other guy comes up and goes, “You crushed him, bro.” And he goes, “Who cares?” The driver goes, Who cares? And he responds, “He was in your wedding.” This movie rules. 

Roxane Gay [00:09:16] Well, and then karma got him like 3 seconds later. 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:20] Sure did. 

Roxane Gay [00:09:21] He was, like, blown into bits. It was amazing. And then he was so extra, like, Italian, man. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:28] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was like, the traffic here is [unintelligible]. 

Roxane Gay [00:09:33] Where is my momma’s cannoli? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:35] It’s like, Oh, this gabagool is getting me crazy. 

Roxane Gay [00:09:39] Literally every stereotype you can imagine about a sort of, like, unwashed, extremely arrogant Italian man all put together in a beautiful lasagna. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:56] And then shot in the head. 

Paul Scheer [00:09:58] Hey, it’s got to be the sauce. But now wait, there was something interesting that, like, you do meet all these characters for one time, and then they all get killed. It is like the final act of a heist movie is the first act of this film. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:15] But every one of them is distinct. And I’m heartbroken when each one, like, heartbroken, cried. Okay, I cried multiple times. 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:25] Jason. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:26] I cried multiple times in this movie. What? Well done, Michael Bay. 

Paul Scheer [00:10:37] I will say that I feel like this is a COVID movie. This movie was shot during COVID, and I believe this is Michael Bay going, “Fuck it, I’ll make a low budget movie.” And like it has an energy like that. Like you’re saying, it’s like it was like, well, just put police on it. We don’t have time. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:53] Do you think that Michael Bay was sent the script and the the writer of the script was like, you know, how Michael Bay will do this movie is if the characters in the movie who are cool, are constantly referencing Michael Bay movies. The movie is like putting Michael Bay, is elevating Bay. And part of me is like, he was like, “Fuck, yeah, I’ll do this.”. 

Paul Scheer [00:11:18] So basically just a little backstory just to put it in the world. This movie was fast tracked because Michael Bay was going to shoot another movie and then they were like, No, we can’t do it because of COVID like, “We’ll do it. What can we do? Let’s do something fast.” And the fast, fast, fast is the quote. “Let’s do something fast, fast, fast.” So there was a remake. This is a remake, this film. Based on the 2005 Danish feature Ambulance, written and directed by Lauritis Munch-Petersen and Michael Bay proudly claims “I never watched it.”. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:56] By the way, that so that he can never be sued. Truly, I think that’s probably so he can’t be sued. 

Roxane Gay [00:12:01] You are giving him so much credit. 

Paul Scheer [00:12:04] I mean, why would he be able to sue? He’s basically, it’s an adaptation. He shouldn’t be sued. 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:09] I don’t think he could be. 

Paul Scheer [00:12:10] And a lot of the plot points that don’t make sense are things that are stolen or that are from the original film. But he didn’t watch it so he has no context. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:19] What do you think doesn’t make sense in this movie? 

Paul Scheer [00:12:22] Well, I’ll get into that later because I feel like we should bring the audience in to how we meet all of our characters because it starts a little bit like Love Actually. We’re seeing a lot. A lot of duos. How are they all going to connect? But we open up with this scene of our of our character Will, who lays out all of his exposition over a phone. And I’ve been on the phone with a lot of people like, you know, with customer service representatives and never have they said, I have to take a coffee break. And hang up. I didn’t know that was part of the. 

Roxane Gay [00:12:54] Oh, but she did say, have a nice day. Which classy. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:58] The movie does an incredible job of setting up each set of– the movie has, I’m going to say, conservatively 56 main characters, and sets them all up in a way that I’m like, Yep, I’m on board. 

June Diane Raphael [00:13:12] Well it’s so interesting because like when I pulled back after watching it or toward the very end, I was like, Oh, this is a movie about what happens when you’ve been put on hold for too long. Like that all of a sudden is like very clear to me. And I was like, Got it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:29] That sets him up. You have so much sympathy for the man who is on hold trying to get health care insurance provided for his sick wife so that when he goes out into the world and becomes a like a person who is committing horrible crimes, you are still on Will’s side so hard. 

Roxane Gay [00:13:48] Yes, but you know, the best part is that we don’t know why. We just know that she needs experimental surgery. And then it’s like in the last half hour we find out that she has cancer. But what kind? Doesn’t matter. Just cancer. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:04] Yeah. Oh, yeah. This movie’s all broad strokes. 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:06] It’s really true, because at one point like before he said she had cancer. I was like, is this a cosmetic surgery? Like, we don’t we don’t know. 

Roxane Gay [00:14:19] The only reason I didn’t think it was BBL is because of the $231,000 price tag. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:27] She’s having the buckle fat removed from her face. 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:28] I don’t know. 

Paul Scheer [00:14:30] But we do we we meet Will and I do think that this idea like I, I like everybody that we meet and we are on the side of the bad guys like there are good guys but they’re the villains in a weird way. Like every time you cut to the good guys, we’re not rooting for them. Like we are following the bad guys. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:48] This is a story in which the protagonists are the villains. Yeah. Like. Like I think. Absolutely. And Will, Yahya Abdul-Mateen is just a straight up movie star. Like he is electric to watch. In a way that is like, without him, I don’t know that the movie works because he is so, you are so with him in a way that he’s committing horrible acts all the time. Civilian deaths in this movie must be in the triple digits. 

Roxane Gay [00:15:17] No consequences for anybody. 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:22] What I couldn’t understand is that there’s so much weight put on the life of a police officer in this movie and the fact that a life, the life of one police officer is at risk in this ambulance, although they never seem to like try to stop to get to a hospital or like just see if it’s on the way. But they have killed, they have killed in the past two and a half hours, I would say 100 cops. 

Paul Scheer [00:15:48] Well that’s it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:49] And five hundreds civillians. 

Roxane Gay [00:15:53] But he’s a rookie. He’s only been out of the academy for three weeks. 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:56] Oh, of course he’s just a babe. 

Paul Scheer [00:15:58] Can I ask this? Is this guy? This cop. Is he little bit of a creep? 

Audience [00:16:04] Yes! 

Paul Scheer [00:16:04] Because. Right? Like, he’s going into, like, kind of force of flirt with a girl, like a woman who works at the bank. 

Roxane Gay [00:16:11] And she’s at her job and her boss is right there, and this fucking idiot is like, “I, you know, kind of want to ask you out, but I’m too much of a douche to do it on my own. So my friend had to blackmail me into it. And I know that this is your place of work, and I don’t want you coming to my place of work to impose your needs on me. But.” 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:32] And also, like, I have a gun, I have a loaded gun. 

Roxane Gay [00:16:37] And in his uniform. This motherfucker couldn’t even, like, put on some goddamn sweat pants and go. Ugh, It’s called gray sweatpants. Jesus Christ. 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:47] Yeah. 

Paul Scheer [00:16:47] I did find that to be all odd way into this character because, like, his motivation is, like, I don’t like you. I don’t like it. 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:55] That’s the thing I think, I think Bay is doing a very like delicate dance here because. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:04] This is the first time anybody’s accused Michael Bay. First time in history for the man who signature style is known as Bayhem. True story. 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:16] But I do think that he wants us to care about that cop’s life but also be okay that Will shot him and that he might die. So it’s, I will give credit to Bay where it’s due. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:31] And there seems to be, they’re trying to posit this idea that, oh, if the cop dies, then you’ve killed a cop. So you’re going to go away. You’re going to get the death penalty or whatever. That’s it. But then they anecdotally, just throughout. Kill multiple cops, a million civilians. And they’re like, “Oh, we’re crushing it, bro. Let’s listen. Let’s listen to Christopher Cross and sing along.” What? Why? 

Paul Scheer [00:17:55] When that moment comes up if you told me. Oh, and in the middle of the movie, the two main characters in the middle of a killing spree will use that to listen to, like, yacht rock to relax. I almost want to play it, but I feel like we’ll get to it in a little bit because I also want to talk about our paramedic. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:16] If you don’t mind me just saying, if your wife needs experimental surgery and you need what does he say, 260 grand or something like that? 

Roxane Gay [00:18:22] 231. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:23] 231. 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:24] Thank you, Roxane. 231.

Roxane Gay [00:18:28] It’s imprinted on me because is such a weird number. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:31] Sell your Bronco. Here’s the thing. You’ve got a Bronco that is so pristine, you could. You could put it on, bring a trailer right now, and it’s going to sell for a lot. That’s the first. That’s my first move. And I love that everybody’s introduction scene. Everybody’s introduction scene is like he wants to help his wife. We have the EMT saves, the impaled that you referenced earlier. The impaled child. 

Paul Scheer [00:19:01] The paramedic, we at first I’m like, wait, what? Right. So they’re at a scene of a crime. And when they reveal that that child is impaled. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:10] Wow. 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:11] I was shocked. 

Paul Scheer [00:19:11] It took my breath away a little bit. 

Roxane Gay [00:19:13] I know. I was like, a child? 

Paul Scheer [00:19:16] And then I was like, how? Like, how did it happen? Then I was like, because it was like, did it? I don’t even know what she hit. 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:24] A fence, babe, a fence. 

Paul Scheer [00:19:25] Like, drove through a sculpture, but like, it came in through the back of the car. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:29] That’s what happens in a Michael Bay car accident, is a wrought iron fence. 12 foot fence can go inside the car and into a little girl. And I love that she goes, “Is it still there?” What? And he doesn’t shy away from showing it at all. 

Roxane Gay [00:19:50] I have to say, this movie was surprisingly graphic in the best possible way. Like, there was nothing like no amount of blood, gore, viscera was too much. And I respect that. I do like. Thank you, Michael Bay. 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:06] And I want to say something else about Michael Bay. And I guess this is a Michael Bay appreciation podcast. But I’m going to say that because there were times where I thought, oh, this movie is like sponsored or funded by the U.S. Army or the LAPD. But but and yet it’s like, well, there’s so much reverence for this vet. And even when he’s, even when those trauma doctors are talking to him, they call him sir. You know, there’s so much reverence for him. And yet also it’s such an indictment on like health care and– 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:40] How we treat veterans. 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:42] Absolutely. It’s like that’s the reason for the season. That’s why we’re on this journey. 

Roxane Gay [00:20:46] But you know what? That’s also a huge plot hole. I mean, we all know that veterans are treated like shit after being treated like shit in service of their country. But, like, he doesn’t have any benefits? 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:59] That’s what I wanted to drill down on it. I’m like, this could be the wrong number you’ve called. Because I do think and that’s what made me think. 

Roxane Gay [00:21:07] He clearly wasn’t calling the VA. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:09] She’s like, “Sir, this is a spectrum, sir.”. 

Paul Scheer [00:21:15] “I didn’t order the digital HD package. I don’t have $49.99”. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:21] “Sir, we will give you ESPN.” 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:22] And then I thought, well, this must be elective. 

Roxane Gay [00:21:27] And then the wife just believes him that even though she listened to the phone call. 

Paul Scheer [00:21:31] Yeah, she was right there. 

Roxane Gay [00:21:32] She was right there. And she’s like, “Oh, thank you for being a man.” I honestly I would thank him too for being a man because he is well put together. 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:47] Doing fine acting. 

Roxane Gay [00:21:48] Girl. Come on. You heard that, man just get turned down. You heard it, you heard it. 

Paul Scheer [00:21:55] He literally said, “Wait, you’re hanging up on me? You’re going on a coffee break?” Like we didn’t hear that. He said it. 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:00] I know. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:02] We see her listening. We get to see her listening. 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:05] But then what happens? 

Roxane Gay [00:22:06] But she’s literally invested as she’s bouncing a baby. She’s listening to the baby, like she’s right there. 

Paul Scheer [00:22:13] By the way, I feel like this movie represents how Michael Bay listens, like. Right? It’s sort of like, of course she didn’t understand it, he’s on the phone. She’s not fucking listening. She’s got other things going on that’s like, like so like he’s not like he’s like he doesn’t listen to anyone within earshot. 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:28] Well, I will say that he then, right after that conversation he does that breathing exercise with her that then gets called back later in the movie. And I was like, I think any of us on the stage, if he turned to us and asked us to breathe with him, we would fall into some sort of a fugue state. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:49] I would be in his thrall immediately. He is so compelling. It’s shocking. 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:54] Yeah. Yes. 

Roxane Gay [00:22:55] Then he goes to visit his idiot brother. 

Paul Scheer [00:22:58] Oh, my god. 

Roxane Gay [00:23:00] That’s never explained. Ever. We just see these, like, little vignettes in the same style as Armageddon. And I’m sorry, but I’ll go deep on Michael Bay. You don’t even know how deep I can go. Why doesn’t he steal like three of the brother’s cars? 

Paul Scheer [00:23:18] Okay, I was so confused about what was going on here. So Jake Gyllenhaal, which we’ll get into. 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:25] Yeah, put a pin in him for the moment. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:26] He seems to be working at Jay Leno’s garage. 

Roxane Gay [00:23:31] Or Jerry Seinfeld’s. 

Paul Scheer [00:23:35] But is he like the assistant to a very famous person like–. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:40] No, he is, he guards those cars that are valuable. 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:45] Wait, what? 

Paul Scheer [00:23:46] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:23:47] Yes. 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:47] Wait. 

Roxane Gay [00:23:48] Yeah, he just guards this rich man’s garage. 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:50] He’s a baby sitter for cars? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:52] I think Jake Gyllenhaal’s legit business is he has a, like, secure garage for famous people’s expensive cars that he and his guys watch. And his guys are, like, all the assassins. 

Roxane Gay [00:24:05] I know, but his staff is, like, they’re not bright. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:09] No, no. Most of them are from season three of Bosch. These nerds get it. If you also want to see Great L.A. stuff, Bosch, baby. 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:22] So you’re saying that he’s essentially like a personal assistant to a rich person? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:27] No, No, I don’t think those are all a single person’s car. Oh, go ahead. 

Paul Scheer [00:24:32] Because there’s a moment when he shows off Keurig. He goes, “I got my boss to get me one of these.” Like it wasn’t like, “I bought this.” He was like, I talked to the boss and he got me a Keurig. Like it’s not a fancy thing. 

Roxane Gay [00:24:46] I know because like a Keurig is like 100. 

Paul Scheer [00:24:49] Maybe, right. Yeah, you go on Amazon maybe like on Prime Day. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:52] Yeah. He gives him a coffee, he goes, “Good coffee isn’t it?” Like they drill down on the Keurig coffee like he’s got an Intelligentsia barista there. 

Roxane Gay [00:25:04] Like he’s never had Keurig coffee before. Like stop. 

Paul Scheer [00:25:07] That’s again what this movie feels like. Michael Bay has never been on hold. Jake Gyllenhaal’s never had Keurig coffee like. Like there’s just a couple of things. It’s like, “That’s what people do. They love these fucking pods.” Like, you know, like they like it’s a warped sense of reality. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:25] But Jake Gyllenhaal, in my opinion, is doing a Michael Bay impression in this movie. The radical sharp enthusiasm is all Bay. 

Paul Scheer [00:25:40] I wrote down a couple of things. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:41] “Let me make you a coffee. Let me get you a coffee. Hey, hey, hey. Let me get you a coffee now. Here you go. Is this coffee fucking amazing? Isn’t this coffee fucking amazing?” That’s Michael Bay. I’ve met the man. 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:51] I think you’re right. 

Paul Scheer [00:25:53] I wrote down a couple of things that we know about Danny from or Daniel that we know from what he tells us. Likes to be called Danny. Is a nice guy. Has herpes. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:06] Incredible line. 

Roxane Gay [00:26:08] But we don’t judge. 

Paul Scheer [00:26:09] Yeah, no, no judge. Loves cashmere. Hates guns. Is near-sighted and loves Christopher Cross. I’m on board with this guy ultimately. And he loves his brother. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:21] Everybody’s intro. The garage door, slowly going up. While he’s walking in. I mean, everybody gets movie star introductions that are phenomenal. Saving lives. The first time I cried was when the little girl goes, “I can be brave.” Boom. 

Paul Scheer [00:26:43] I want to show this. This moment. I just want to show this moment. This is the moment where the plan is laid out. Will goes to visit Danny, and it just happens to be on the day that this is happening. Right? So. And here and the camera moves in this. 

Roxane Gay [00:26:58] Not only the day, but the exact time. 

Paul Scheer [00:27:01] Moments. It seems like if he wasn’t, if he was like 10 minutes late, he would have missed the whole thing. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:05] So much, so much so that all the rest of the guys are like, is this the guy? So they already know he’s expected. 

Paul Scheer [00:27:12] And I know for who are listening, imagine listening to this scene and you’re on a roller coaster because the shots are insane. 

Movie Audio [00:27:21] First I do downtown 32 million. I have this wired. 

Movie Audio [00:27:26] No bank holds 32 million. 

Movie Audio [00:27:27] I know it’s a one off. I need another man for inside. One driver. Feds are moving it out tonight after hours. We get in there now it’s ours. What’s going on? 

Movie Audio [00:27:39] I came to you for a loan. Maybe. Maybe a small job, I believe. 

Movie Audio [00:27:43] All right, look, I don’t have it. Everything I have is tied up in this score, right? It’s tight. Look, I can’t, I. I need your help. I can’t do this alone. I need you. I can’t do this with Mel Gibson. I can’t do it. 

Movie Audio [00:27:53] Is this the guy? I’m not stupid. 

Movie Audio [00:27:55] Neither am I. Dad was a fucking psycho. I know that. You know that. Even the FBI knows that. I’m not him. Look, have I ever gotten you in anything I couldn’t get you out of? Anything. No. 

Movie Audio [00:28:05] Yes. 

Movie Audio [00:28:06] The guns are for. Hey. Hey, the guns are for. Come on. What? What do you. What do you want me to say? What are we going to do? We can. Oh, please, Can we please have some if we’re going to fake it? No. Do we have real guns? It’s just for protection. You know how it works. We’re not cowboy’s. We’re not shooting anything up. This is my job. Come on. We could do this in our sleep. 

Movie Audio [00:28:22] Danny let’s roll. 

Movie Audio [00:28:23] All right. 5 minutes. And I need to know if you’re in or you’re out. You’re my brother. I love you. I will do anything for you. And all I’m asking is this one little thing for me. And now you’re here on my doorstep asking me for help. And what am I giving you? I am giving you the world. 

Paul Scheer [00:28:41] That is. And there we go. That’s the premise. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:45] How was this not nominated? 

Roxane Gay [00:28:48] I mean. As we enter the Oscars with all of those supposed Oscar films. Yeah, it’s right there. Cinema. 

Paul Scheer [00:28:59] I love whatever Jake Gyllenhaal has. I don’t even know if he’s decided, but he’s just, every performance is like he’s like, I’m just going for it. Like I’m going for it. And interesting directions, whether it’s, you know, a low budget indie or this. It’s like, I feel like he is ready to go and it’s like and maybe it works and maybe he doesn’t. I’m all in. I like this character. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:20] I love it. I love his performance. I love everything he’s doing. My only question is, can I play this part? Put me in as the unhinged brother of a guy who’s going is just the low budget version of this. I can’t do this because this is too big. But let me do crazy guy on this level, please. 

Paul Scheer [00:29:40] All I’m saying is that Jake Gyllenhaal’s acting is so good that when he puts on a mask that obscures all of his face. The eyes are even showing. It’s like, when you look at his eyes are like, Wow. I didn’t even know his eyes are that big. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:52] This is, wait June. Are you seeing this? Like, that’s a real still film from the film that is not prosthetic eyes. 

Paul Scheer [00:30:05] Like it. It is next level. 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:09] Oh my God.

Paul Scheer [00:30:11] We’ve only talked about four of the 90 characters. Yeah. 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:17] Okay, so they’re all men except for our lead lady to the point where I was like, could one of the trauma doctors be a woman? Like, there’s.  

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:29] Oh, the doctors on the golf course? 

Roxane Gay [00:30:30] Yes. 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:34] Listen I was obsessed with everyone and everyone’s introduction, the FBI agent and how we met him, which was so wild. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:41] Oh, no, no. In therapy. 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:43] Yes. In therapy. And him saying that his husband was an environmental lawyer. 

Roxane Gay [00:30:51] And so they live at beach. Where all environmental lawyers go. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:00] He gets a text that just says massive bank robbery in downtown L.A.. 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:05] Yes. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:05] Like that text is worse than the texts in Open Marriage. 

Paul Scheer [00:31:11] I mean, there is. It’s from an unknown number, and it’s just like, bam. 

Roxane Gay [00:31:17] He’s just like, Daddy’s got to go to work. 

Paul Scheer [00:31:20] And I don’t even and by the way, this is another part of it. There seems to be three teams working this. It’s like we got LAPD or just regular police. We have SIS. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:30] Yes, that’s Garret Dillahunt’s group. 

Paul Scheer [00:31:32] And then is Garret Dillahunt, a group. Also, they think that they’re tracking Brooklyn bank robbers? Because that’s why they’re outside the bank. 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:40] That I could not understand. 

Paul Scheer [00:31:41] They’re not Brooklyn bank robbers. They’re the L.A. bank robbers. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:43] This really scrambled me for a minute because they’re staking out the bank thinking a group of criminals are going to rob that bank that they’ve been tracking. And it just so happens that Jake Gyllenhaal and his crew role in instead? 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:57] Is that what happens? 

Paul Scheer [00:31:59] Yes. 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:59] No. That’s not what happened. 

Audience [00:32:01] The people that all got killed are the Brooklyn people and they came and are helping Jake Gyllenhaal. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:07] So it is a combination. 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:09] It’s a combo platter. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:12] What’s your name? Thank you, Samantha. 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:15] Yeah. 

Paul Scheer [00:32:19] Thank you, Samantha. I will say this is a movie that I rewound more than any other Michael Bay movies, because I was like, what did I miss? I do feel like that is a little hidden because all of a sudden you see these guys get out and then it’s a throwaway lines like, “How the fuck does this happen?” It’s like, Oh, we thought we were in Brooklyn, guys. Next, dog. 

Roxane Gay [00:32:39] The best part is that throughout the movie they’re like, just unapologetic. Like, “We wait.” 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:46] Okay, I want to talk about the fact that they wait. 

Roxane Gay [00:32:49] They wait and wait and wait with the big dog. And it’s only because of the big dog that they paused the chase and he’s like, “Oh, no, it’s too dangerous.” Now. It’s too dangerous. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:59] “Who brought my dog on a car chase?” 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:02] Listen, I want to talk about Nitro. If you’re referring to Nitro. 

Paul Scheer [00:33:06] By the way, just so you know, Nitro is Michael Bay’s dog. That is Michael Bay’s dog. 

Roxane Gay [00:33:14] Ugh, this is great. 

Paul Scheer [00:33:15] And one of the quotes I have, this is just a great little side quote. “The most stressful day on set was when they only had 20 minutes left of sunlight and they had to shove his 217 pound dog into a fiat.” Because that like that, when that came up, I was like, What am I? What movie is this? Like a little Fiat? A giant dog? I was like, Is Inspector Clouseau getting out of this dog? Like what? Like so out of like, we just watched people get, like, brutally killed. It’s like, [slapstick sound effects]. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:51] And he’s got jokes that are like, “Oh, we had whatever food last night so the dog’s taking smelly shits.” 

Roxane Gay [00:33:57] Yeah. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:57] And yeah. And then like also 72 pedestrians have been mowed down. 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:05] Well, I wanted, I do want to talk about the strategy of waiting on a bank robbery because I rewound that part and I went back and tried to understand it a few times. So they would prefer to have these people rob the bank and put all of those innocent lives at risk. Because Why exactly? Because they feel they have a better shot to get them? 

Roxane Gay [00:34:31] They have a better shot of getting them with fewer casualties outside. And that’s how SIS does it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:36] Yeah. So they’ve changed. They’ve changed their strategy.

Roxane Gay [00:34:42] It’s better than that. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:43] They would, they would have used in the past gone in guns blazing but put people in danger and encouraged the guys to take hostages. So they’re saying let them get the money, let them come out and then get them on the way out. Heat style. And nobody says no. Everybody seems to understand all the movie references of all time, but nobody ever says we have a Heat going on. We’ve got a Den of Thieves on our hands. 

Paul Scheer [00:35:07] I just wrote down this one thing, which I forgot. 

Roxane Gay [00:35:09] Den of Thieves was so good. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:10] Roxane. Come on. 

Roxane Gay [00:35:12] Come on. I just watched that shit. That was so good. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:15] The best. 

Paul Scheer [00:35:16] We need a sequel to that movie. I’m all in. Have you seen Plane? 

Roxane Gay [00:35:20] Yeah. Oh, please. And I am really into movies where the title is explicit. 

Paul Scheer [00:35:28] Yes. 

Roxane Gay [00:35:29] There’s no fucking subtext. So my wife and I sat down to watch Plane and I was like, Do you really think it’s just about a plane? And she was like, I don’t know. I was like, Yeah, it is. 

Paul Scheer [00:35:43] It’s great. 

Roxane Gay [00:35:43] It was a great night. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:44] And now that we’ve done Ambulance, I think we have to do Plane. 

Paul Scheer [00:35:48] Oh yeah. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:49] We should do a month of transportation theme. 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:53] I love it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:53] Movies. Movies that are about trains, planes, ambulances. 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:58] Honestly, this is why, So I saw Plane in the movie theater and I loved every second of it but. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:03] Movie of the year. 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:04] Movie of the year. But I was disappointed in a way because I thought I was going to get the experience from Ambulance. 

Roxane Gay [00:36:11] That you got from Plane? 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:11] Yeah. And it wasn’t that. 

Paul Scheer [00:36:13] It’s not better. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:15] Plane is better? 

Paul Scheer [00:36:18] Hold on. I feel like, well, you know what it is? It feels like, not better, but it’s like, it’s like it’s streamlined. It’s like Michael Bay is going to camera [whizz- whizz]. I feel like the drones are going up there, dive bombing down. We’re flying through things. Like, Plane had $20 million and everything’s on screen. It’s like we got 80 minutes. It’s going to go. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:39] No, Plane’s greatest special effect is Jerry Butler. 

Paul Scheer [00:36:42] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:36:43] Yeah. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:44] And Ambulance’s greatest special effect is Michael Bay. Everything is Bayhem, that is happening that static scenes of two people talking just either exposition dumping or whatever. That circular. 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:56] Oh my God. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:57] That camera that is just constantly circulating throughout the scene. 

Roxane Gay [00:37:01] He loves that camera. I think he probably sleeps with it because the camera does so much work in his films like panorama. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:09] Oh, yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:37:10] Panorama. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:11] Oh, he loves diving in and out. 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:13] Crazy. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:14] Creating momentum where there is none. 

Roxane Gay [00:37:17] Like inside an ambulance, perhaps. 

Paul Scheer [00:37:21] It is an insane. And I feel like he gets everybody on board to be like, let’s do this crazy thing. Because there’s stories about Jake Gyllenhaal’s is holding a camera, taping it because there’s not enough room in the actual ambulance. He’s like, “You’re going to shoot this scene.” I had a friend who was on Bad boys 2, and he was just a regular actor, not a stunt man. And Michael Bay is like, okay, so we’re going to do this chase over the Florida Keys, just drive and shoot out the window at the same time. He’s like, I’ve never done anything like that. It’s like, Well fucking do it. And then they’re doing it. And he came over to him and he showed him the monitor and was like, “You look like a wimp. You got to do this for real, man.” And he was like, I don’t know. He’s like, He’s racing a Humvee, firing out the window. But he gets people in this zone where, like Jake Gyllenhaal’s hanging outside of a real ambulance. He’s like, “We got 10 minutes, Jake, fire in the air. We’re going to get this.” And, like, Will is driving. It’s like everyone is on board and that energy is in the movie. 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:16] I am realizing that he named his, like, female love interest Cam. 

Paul Scheer [00:38:23] Whoa! 

Roxane Gay [00:38:23] Oh. Oh, wow. 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:30] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:38:31] The layers. June, wow. 

Paul Scheer [00:38:35] And I loved this moment in the film and it’s like there’s a truck that is carrying plate glass. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:41] Incredible. 

Paul Scheer [00:38:42] And then it seems like the guy decides to run away by running into it. And at the same time, he’s shot. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:48] I felt like there was like, there because it comes in a moment where there’s so much exploding glass. Because of the Heat style gun fight that’s going on. There’s so much exploding glass. And I felt like Bay was like, there’s not enough. What if there was a glass delivery truck parked in front of the glass building. 

Paul Scheer [00:39:13] I do want to just briefly just go out here for one second and talk about Cam, who he introduced with the kid who was impaled. We watch this emotional scene. You as the audience feel like, oh, my God, I just watched a six year old be impaled by a spike and then–. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:29] “I can be brave.” He knows how to get ya. 

Paul Scheer [00:39:36] She passes the kid to like emergency services at the hospital. And then she says, “Hey, you want to go get enchiladas?” And you’re like, am I supposed to like this character? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:47] At the beginning? No. I think at the beginning– 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:50] It’s so weird because I think I have the wrong reaction to her. I think you’re right, Jason, that you’re. That’s her journey, right? That she’s cold and not like connecting to what she’s doing, even though she’s so connected in the moment, but so cut off after it’s over. But to me, I’m like, I don’t want my trauma specialist to be stuck on yesterday’s news. You know what I mean? Like, I want them to be fully present with me pulling the things that are impaled inside my, you know, stomach. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:20] Pulling the wrought iron out of my guts. 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:22] I don’t need them to be carrying that with them and litigating past. 

Roxane Gay [00:40:27] You know, the challenge is what you kind of brought up briefly earlier. She’s the only woman in the movie except for the wife. And Michael Bay hates women. 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:38] Sure. Sure. 

Roxane Gay [00:40:40] Ask Megan Fox. She has a lot of really interesting things to say about Michael Bay, and I’m sure many other actors do, too, and women are just meant to be beautiful and to sort of look bloody and sweaty but sexy. 

Paul Scheer [00:40:56] And by the way, even at the end, after she’s been through all that, like somebody gave her a tissue because she looks ready to go, like ready to go out. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:04] Oh, yeah. After she’s been held hostage and been in a 24 hour car chase. 

Roxane Gay [00:41:10] Yep. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:10] Held at gunpoint, all of the events of the movie happened to her. She walks away from the crime scene which you would never be allowed to do. 

Roxane Gay [00:41:19] No questions. 

Paul Scheer [00:41:21] They let her get her bag and leave. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:23] She leaves. She goes to the hospital to check on the impaled girl. 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:28] Not Will. 

Roxane Gay [00:41:28] So why did she only steal one stack of money? What the fuck is wrong with people? It’s like, girl, take all the money and say that they dropped it somewhere. You’re an EMT and it’s a noble profession, but you’re making like $50,000 a year. 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:46] I think she didn’t want to fall off the wagon and get back on that speed. 

Roxane Gay [00:41:50] Oh. 

Paul Scheer [00:41:55] When she dropped that, she was on speed. Again, Michael Bay has limited time for exposition, so we got to get it out quick. “Yeah, I was addicted to speed. Anyway, pass me that.” Wow. All right. 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:05] Okay. 

Roxane Gay [00:42:06] I like a crack head doctor. 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:08] I did too. I was like this is fascinating. 

Roxane Gay [00:42:11] I was just like, get back on the drugs. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:14] Yeah. And it gave me, like, because I agree, like, and I feel like a lot of those. A lot of that. What’s the Scorsese movie? Bring out the–. 

Paul Scheer [00:42:21] Bring Out the Dead or Bring out the Dead. The Nicolas Cage one, right? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:24] It’s like, what’s it called? Bringing Out the Dead. That to me, she’s in that world of like, fucked up. This is crazy. We’re in the like, the juice of this is, I do the thing and then I don’t care. And the events of this movie are like, maybe I care. You know, but also give me that speed. 

Paul Scheer [00:42:43] Well, I guess there’s a difference between like, being professional and also, like, not giving any bit of a shit. It’s like, that’s a six year old girl is like, “Hey, she’s going to do okay.” “I don’t want to hear about it!” It’s like, all right, like, but it just seem a little too aggressive. It wasn’t like, I don’t like, you know.

June Diane Raphael [00:43:02] If you’re her, how do you continue to show up as your full self? 

Paul Scheer [00:43:07] Right. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:07] You got to compartmentalize. 

Paul Scheer [00:43:08] So is the moral of the story then that that’s bad? Because her arc is she does care. So her arc is now she’ll be a better person but a worse professional.

June Diane Raphael [00:43:20] I think it’s more lives will now be lost. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:22] Yeah. The movie means she’s worse at her job. 

June Diane Raphael [00:43:28] Correct. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:28] Because, by the way, she goes into the girl’s room and the girl holds her hand and she’s like, “Don’t let go.” Her response should be, “Where is your parent?” Like, Cam should not be raising Lindsay, the impaled girl who, I’m certain doesn’t have a gallbladder anymore. 

Paul Scheer [00:43:47] The mom was like, I’m going to go home, do a quick shower, or I’ll come back in the morning. She’ll be okay, right? She’ll be alive. 

Roxane Gay [00:43:54] Speaking of showers, though. And this is something I think about in almost every movie. And whenever I look at like NBA players hugging. The smell in that ambulance. 

Paul Scheer [00:44:05] As actors and in real life, because this guy is bleeding out. The entire time. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:09] Okay, Zach has for sure shit himself. 

Roxane Gay [00:44:12] Pints of blood. And they never slip on the floor? Jake and and Will and Cam are sweating and then they open this poor dude up. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:24] Oh, yeah. His spleen explodes. 

Roxane Gay [00:44:28] They use a hair clip as a clamp. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:31] And it works. 

Roxane Gay [00:44:32] And she. I mean, she takes it from her disgusting, dirty hair. Doesn’t, you know, like normally in a movie, like when they’re doing, like, fake surgery, like in a restaurant with a penknife, she’ll take some vodka and pour it on the knife to at least let us know. I know this is gross, but I’m going to sanitize it. And then they take a sip of the alcohol and off we go. She did not even bother to take any rubbing alcohol in the back of this rig to fix her disgusting hair clip. She puts it in there and then closes him up. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:09] And he’s fine. 

Roxane Gay [00:45:11] He’s talking by the end of the movie. It’s just so great. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:15] He’s in better shape than everybody else in the movie. He’s like, “I saw everything. I know what’s up.” And they’re like, “My guy. You have a banana clip in your body.”. You got a scrunchie in your body. 

Roxane Gay [00:45:28] “Did you have your hand in me?” And she’s like, “Oh, yeah, I was way in there.” 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:33] And she said, “I’m up in his guts.” And she said, “He’s coming to, he’s coming to. I’m up in his guts!” 

Roxane Gay [00:45:43] But, but the best I mean, there’s so many like best parts. When he comes to while they’re like doing the banana clip. And sort of hand digging for the bullet situation before the spleen explodes, the guy wakes up and he just starts screaming. 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:00] Of course. 

Roxane Gay [00:46:00] I mean, which is the normal reaction. And then Yahya is just like, “Go to sleep.” 

Paul Scheer [00:46:08] That’s military triage. That’s what they do. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:11] He punches him into unconsciousness which if you remember he previously has been driving and he says you got to get up here and drive. I’ve been in this situation before. So he knows my value added is if this guy wakes up, I could punch him into unconsciousness. 

Roxane Gay [00:46:28] Yes, he said that he’s basically a medic. And then he gets back there and he’s like, I don’t really know how to do anything but follow directions. And punch guys out. 

Paul Scheer [00:46:39] And it worked. Everybody. Everything is working perfectly. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:44] No, I was just going to say that just one more thing with the hair clip. It’s interesting because in these movies, I did have the thought at one point, like, oh, Michael Bay’s going to want her hair down. He’s going to want to get her hair down. And the way he did it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:04] I love. I love this. 

June Diane Raphael [00:47:08]  It was successful. And it was also like, wow. Could not have imagined that. 

Roxane Gay [00:47:13] Oh, my God, you know, why not where you can read these text. I respect the shit out of this. 

June Diane Raphael [00:47:21] Because then her hair’s down and then she gets to sit. A few scenes later, she’s sitting in the, there’s so many of the flares that are going off and sun is setting, but she’s sitting in the front seat of the ambulance and her hair and she’s so gorgeous and she looks beautiful. And I’m like, we wouldn’t have had this shot had she not gotten that hair clip out of her hair. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:44] Absolutely. The movie is structurally perfect. 

Paul Scheer [00:47:47] By the way. It’s fully a Chekhov’s gun situation. Literally with the cop’s gun, like they show you. Cop’s gun is on the. Which is such an odd thing because that guy’s been on like, a cold gun.

Roxane Gay [00:47:59] He didn’t feel it once? Just like in his back? Like you feel when there’s something hard pressing against your–. 

Paul Scheer [00:48:06] This man. This man has been shot in the stomach and he’s laying on a glock while the things [car noise]. Poor man. But we talk about hair, we talk about women. We forgot about my favorite character, the other woman in this film. The woman who is running the control center. 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:25] Oh, she’s wonderful. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:26] She’s great. 

Paul Scheer [00:48:28] Who is amazing. And then is introduced with– Oh, wait, is this the–. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:31] Is her name Jag? What is it? This is Zaga. 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:37] I’m so sorry. I did forget about her. 

Paul Scheer [00:48:39] Oh, I thought I had a clip. I don’t have a clip. I only have this banter. Because there is good banter in this movie. And this is an example of the banter that you’re going to get. 

Movie Audio [00:48:50] Are you from L.A., Special Agent Clark with you? Suspenders and looking like you’re 20? 

Movie Audio [00:48:56] No. Toledo. 

Movie Audio [00:48:57] Oh, great. Another tourist. 

Movie Audio [00:48:59] Okay, can we just skip over the whole, I don’t know shit, and you fought in Vietnam speech? 

Movie Audio [00:49:04] How old do you think I am, man? 

Movie Audio [00:49:06] Look, I can help you here. 

Movie Audio [00:49:07] This isn’t a bank robbery. It’s a hostage situation. 

Movie Audio [00:49:09] Oh, it’s far worse than that, sir. 

Movie Audio [00:49:11] What? 

Movie Audio [00:49:12] The guy who held your paramedic out the back is named Danny Sharpe. Danny’s been robbing banks since he was 17. His father was a legend. Bona fide psychotic. Killed six bank managers, two tellers in the nineties. 

Movie Audio [00:49:23] Tremendous. He is causing a shitstorm. 

Movie Audio [00:49:26] Oh, wonderful, FBI. 

Movie Audio [00:49:28] We can run a mini war from in here plus RHD can stagger our assets. Tell him to get ready. We’re going to trap this fucker.  

Movie Audio [00:49:36] That is a mistake. Wait. Danny is a different breed. He could have easily killed your car back there at the bank, but he didn’t. Right. He is looking for a way out. 

Movie Audio [00:49:45] How do you know that? 

Movie Audio [00:49:48] We used to be friends. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:49] Boom. Incredible. 

Roxane Gay [00:49:53] The revelation. Dun, dun dun. But then at the very end, he’s, like, begging Danny to, like, give himself up. “I can’t do anything more for you.” I’m like, bitch, you haven’t done shit for him the entire movie. 

Paul Scheer [00:50:07] But also, what was Danny’s plan at the end? Like when Danny is trying to escape, I’m like, Well, you were going to hold Cam and just, like, exit the ambulance. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:17] Oh, no. He says, I’m going to kill you on live TV, and then they’re going to kill me. That’s what this is. 

Paul Scheer [00:50:21] Okay, So that was his plan. It was a suicide. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:23] That’s why, that’s why Will shoots him because he doesn’t want Danny to– Will shoots Danny. 

Paul Scheer [00:50:28] I thought. I thought he had a bigger plan than that. Okay, I didn’t. I again, I mean. 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:32] Think that was it. I think he had gotten to a point of just like total mayhem. Yeah. Just like it’s time to go. 

Paul Scheer [00:50:38] So they have to be like, no one was getting out of this. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:41] He’s like, listen I got to release Transformers 4, so I guess I’ll shoot you and then they’ll shoot me? 

Paul Scheer [00:50:47] I mean, Will conservatively is going to jail at least for 30 years, right? Like, roughly. I mean, he was a part of an armed bank robbery. Yes, he saved some people,. But yeah, it’s like he’s going to do some time. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:57] They make a big deal out of Zack. Not, in the hospital, not identifying Will as the guy who shot him, even though Will did and pointing to Danny instead. 

Roxane Gay [00:51:09] He says, “This guy saved my life.” 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:10] Yes, this guy saved my life. But Will is responsible for, I’m going to say, 200 deaths. 

Paul Scheer [00:51:18] It would be a very tricky case to prosecute because what he also did this. Yeah, but he also killed like like a bunch of people just trying to sell tomatoes on the side of the street. 

Roxane Gay [00:51:30] Well, one of my favorite parts of the movie was when they do this inexplicable, incomprehensible switcheroo. 

Paul Scheer [00:51:37] Okay. Yes, please. 

Roxane Gay [00:51:39] We have to go real deep on this. 

Paul Scheer [00:51:42] I need. This is what this is. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:43] I love this. 

Roxane Gay [00:51:44] They should have just ran away when they were hiding under the overpass. Take the money and go. Or like, whatever. Not like paint this ambulance green. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:01] You have a situation where they’re like, let’s flood the place with look alike ambulances. Then they won’t know which one we are. Also paint ours green. 

Paul Scheer [00:52:19] He has 45 seconds to paint an entire ambulance and the guy is so dumb that he’s painting the glass windshield. But then. But Danny wanted it blue. And oddly, like, my mind was buying that the green was like, Oh, maybe like a like a green screen effect, it wouldn’t read. Yeah, but like. But he wanted it to be blue. But why did he want it to be painted at all? 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:44] I do not know. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:48] The whole point is let’s, let’s have there be ten identical ambulances and they won’t know which one we are. 

Paul Scheer [00:52:55] One is sticking out like a like a ridiculous sore thumb. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:58] Okay, we’ve got, oh no, we’ve got ten ambulances and then one, like shoddily painted green one? 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:05] Paul, you read that list of the things that Jake, that we know about Danny and I don’t think I heard you say that Danny was a criminology major. 

Paul Scheer [00:53:14] Oh, right. But he doesn’t say that out loud, does he? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:16] No, but the other guy. 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:18] But here is my question it and it did remind me, of course, of the Idaho killer, um, who is also criminology, Criminology major. But that’s a whole other ball of wax. But here’s my question, though, Jason, he’s studied, so it’s the it’s set up from our FBI agent as though Danny went to school and I guess grad school. I don’t know. 

Roxane Gay [00:53:48] It’s just school. 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:49] Okay. To learn what police and FBI would do in these scenarios so he could sort of get, you know, work on this from the inside out so he could really plan. I didn’t see any of that. 

Roxane Gay [00:54:06] Well, it might. Might not have been a good school. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:09] And I’m sorry. June, this movie goes completely according to plan for him. I love when he pretends to be, the bank manager is like, “Hello?” I’m like, yes, he didn’t have to answer that door. 

Paul Scheer [00:54:27] Just say no, we’re closed. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:30] We have a private transaction. But no, you know what, get in here. 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:33] You know what? That was an interesting moment. And again, I’m giving more credit to Bay than I thought I would. But that was an interesting moment where I was like, wow, what would you do? You know, a cop shows up. Can you just say we’re closed? 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:47] Yes. 

Paul Scheer [00:54:47] Yeah. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:47] He tries. 

June Diane Raphael [00:54:49] I guess. Yeah, I guess you could, but it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:53] But I love that we haven’t seen any. Like we go in there. I wonder if they shot it and then cut it. But like, all of the robbery stuff has already happened. All of the taking over the bank. 

Paul Scheer [00:55:05] Well no you have that great moment of the bank manager like standing like, like Howie Mandel on Let’s Make a Deal. Like, “Here it is.”. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:14] Then he goes, “I’ll get out of your hair.”. 

Paul Scheer [00:55:16] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:55:18] That’s a man who understands that we are not family with the people we work with. Our job is our job. And our friends and family are our friends and family. 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:28] He’s like, I’m not dying for this. 

Roxane Gay [00:55:29] Hey, man, walk away, get out. Very healthy. 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:32] Again, I think Bay did that strategically like he did with the cop, which is we don’t want these guys that we’re going to follow for the rest of the movie that we do need to be on their side to a certain degree. We don’t want to see them really scaring people. 

Paul Scheer [00:55:47] There was a weird moment like with Jake Gyllenhaal, too. He’s a criminology professional or study. He studies that, like, he constantly reveals himself and he’s like, “Hey, man, he’s a marine.” He says that to a man who’s still alive that can I.D. them. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:04] They all us real names all the time. Hey, Trent. Hey, this. Like, even though he has nicknames for people, Mel Gibson and whatever. He doesn’t, then use them. He continues to use everyone’s real name all the time, such that everybody’s like, Well, who’s that? Will? I heard him say Will, okay, [blip blip blip] okay, that’s his brother. 

Roxane Gay [00:56:26] And when they’re doing all that detecting with the weird FBI agent and the young woman who is waiting to go home to her dad’s dinner and the guy with the dog. I’m sorry. Names are not going to stick with me. 

Paul Scheer [00:56:40] Yeah, these are tough names, too. 

Paul Scheer [00:56:42] I love how the guy with the dog kept saying, “Stop the car.” And they would get out and have, like, an out, fresh air chit chat every 5 minutes. And I’m like, you are never going to shut this down if you keep stopping for fresh air. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:55] Yeah. Fresh air, a cup of coffee and like, traffic’s going to start soon. It’s about to be rush hour in L.A.. 

Paul Scheer [00:57:02] It’s weird because it’s like they’re chasing the ambulance, but they have everything at their disposal. So they have helicopters. They don’t need to be chasing the ambulance. Just put a plan in place to stop it. 

Roxane Gay [00:57:13] All the drones. Like, just sit still. 

Paul Scheer [00:57:18] You don’t need to be mobile. You don’t need to be on its tail. There’s no reason to. Now, here’s one reason why. Because, again, I’m trying to figure out why this ambulance was painted the way it was painted lime green. The ambulance might have been painted lime green because it’s the same color as Ratchet, the Autobot from the Transformers film, which is a medical vehicle. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:41] Huh? Is that true? 

Paul Scheer [00:57:43] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [00:57:44] Oh, wow. Wow. 

Paul Scheer [00:57:46] Again, another connection. But let’s go to the audience here. 

June Diane Raphael [00:57:50] I want to see if anyone else has thoughts on why that ambulance was painted lime green. 

Paul Scheer [00:57:55] Okay. Let’s see. What’s your question? 

Audience [00:57:57] I couldn’t figure out. Did they drive Will’s wife to the hospital to watch him bleed out? 

Paul Scheer [00:58:04] Right. She did show up at the hospital. 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:07] I have so many questions about that. Well, the crime scene was the hospital. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:13] Oh, yeah. 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:13] What I thought was fascinating about that was that she didn’t put her baby in a car seat, which I couldn’t help but notice. 

Roxane Gay [00:58:25] But the car seat was there for the money. 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:28] Well, and then to see the cop run behind her with the car seat was so wild. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:36] My assumption is, in that sense, they’re kind of like, we’ve got a hostage situation. We don’t know what’s going on. Maybe if we bring his wife, she can talk him down or something like that. 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:48] It’s also just illegal to not put a baby in a car seat. So. 

Roxane Gay [00:58:54] Given all the laws that have been broken. Sure. I feel like they were probably. Yeah. 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:59] I would look the other way. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:00] I was shocked that baby wasn’t impaled. 

Paul Scheer [00:59:03] There. There was a great. I also had this thought and I maybe. I guess she wasn’t using the car seat. When Cam does put them the money in the car seat. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:13] It becomes unusable as a car seat? 

Paul Scheer [00:59:15] Yes. And I was like, that’s why she has to continue to hold this baby, because now she’s like, oh, I got to hold this baby and this car. Like, it became a burden as a parent because that money was so cumbersome. She couldn’t like sneaking it around like, yeah. 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:29] But again, another moment where I cried was when she was screaming, Please help my husband. Don’t let him die. Cry during that. Moses Ingram from Obi-Wan Kenobi. Fantastic performance. Every role in this movie is a home run actor. This movie is fucking great. Thank you, Roxane. For making us do this. 

Roxane Gay [00:59:46] You’re welcome. And I’m just so glad to meet someone else who can appreciate, like, true cinema. And I love, like, I don’t know if Michael Bay intended it or not, but he really makes the cops look exactly as bad as they are, because, you know, Will is bleeding out, and the guy is like, We’ll get to him. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:06] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [01:00:07] Will you? I don’t know. Like, you’re literally in front of the hospital and there’s cameras everywhere. 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:14] I know. I was kind of like, just move away. Someone else will, Right? 

Roxane Gay [01:00:17] I’m like, okay, George Floyd’s murder. We see what you’re doing here. 

Paul Scheer [01:00:23] Yes. Your name and your question. Here we go. 

Audience [01:00:26] So we kind of talk about how inept the cops are in this. And it feels like this is the most inept police force ever in an action movie. But I think the one thing we forgot to talk about, the green truck and when the guy’s getting interviewed that the green truck just rolls slowly in the background while the cops are like, have this guy who is also, he has green paint on him. And there’s just this green truck just going ten miles an hour. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:54] And nobody says like, oh, we should be looking for a green truck because this guy has green paint all over him. 

Paul Scheer [01:01:01] The movie fluctuates between people being hyper observant, like a guy who’s just been blown up, like, Oh, who’s that running? I guess I’ll chase him. To like literally a bad guy, like, running next to him. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:15] The thing that happens that’s tough is Jake Gyllenhaal engages like the cartel guys who come in and boost everything up into insanity with explosive ambulances and the car that has the mini gun and all that stuff. So everything ratchets up at that point into an insane level of chaos. And that’s supposed to kind of saturate the world with chaos and oh, it’s going to. But no, not really. Everybody’s like, oh, no, you pull over. Okay, great. Okay. But what they can’t figure out is, well, now there’s like a poorly spray painted ambulance on the street. Maybe that’s our guys. 

Roxane Gay [01:01:52] It couldn’t be. It just could not be. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:54] It couldn’t be. 

Paul Scheer [01:01:55] They don’t explain why they, like, there’s six other ones. It’s going to. I mean, it doesn’t make sense. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:00] Or get in a fully different car. 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:03] Or walk away. Walk away. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:07] Get on two motorcycles with your money and take off. Leave Zach and Cam behind. 

Paul Scheer [01:02:12] But is that the Achilles heel of like Jake, is that he wants to make sure that he sees the cop get healed? I mean, is that like it’s the, I don’t know if that like, is that a motivating factor for him? 

Roxane Gay [01:02:24] No, but I think it is for Will. And that’s even more curious because like when they’re at the end where Will could basically just walk away because they’re in the sort of quinceanera dress factory and which is one of my favorite parts. And he’s like, I’m not leaving the cop? 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:49] Or you. 

Roxane Gay [01:02:50] I don’t want to see anyone lose their life ever. But like, if you have to choose between, you, a black man who fought for his country and will still get pulled over and maybe killed, or a cop who’s going to probably be okay, like come on. 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:06] Walk away. 

Paul Scheer [01:03:07] Take that money and run, go for it. I mean. 

Roxane Gay [01:03:09] It’s $8 million. 

Paul Scheer [01:03:12] I do love that scene that follows that, too. That’s like the were like, you know, it’s like that thing where they’re trying to create their plan. And real time is like, why don’t we just go left? 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:23] Go left with me. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:29] You want to go, right? I want to go left. We should both go left. Go left, Go. It’s so stepped out. 

Paul Scheer [01:03:37] It’s like it would have been so much cooler if it was like You’ve gone left. I’ve gone right. Oh. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:43] Great, great, great. But it makes Papi and his guys look like fucking idiots. 

Roxane Gay [01:03:48] Yeah. After they managed to steal all the ambulances and then build the fucking Robo murder car like RoboCop two, which. That car was awesome. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:58] Yeah. 

Paul Scheer [01:04:01] What I loved about the RoboCop car in this was that they did have a dummy at the driver and the drivers were like, I just would like to have seen that guy. Like, Oh yeah, this guy looks real enough. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:10] Yeah, they were like, We got to go. We got to go to the Mythbusters’ office and steal their guy. That fake dummy that they’re always blowing up. Adam Savage is like, “What do you want from me?”. 

Paul Scheer [01:04:23] You’ve let us in on the the plot here, earlier you told us about the Boston crew and the L.A. crew. So now what is your name and your question? 

Audience [01:04:31] Samantha and my question is actually, so the relationship between Anson and Jake Gyllenhaal is never really, it’s they got drunk. Do you think there was maybe something more romantic underneath there? 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:41] Oh, I love that. Samantha, you get this movie. 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:45] Wow. She really does. 

Roxane Gay [01:04:47] Yeah. You know what, Samantha? I have to say, first of all, were they sex friends? 1,000%. 1000. 1,000%. Because why else would Anson be so deeply invested? Like, don’t die, you were the best dick of my life. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:06] Better than my husband that I’m in counseling with. 

Roxane Gay [01:05:08] Yes. And, I mean, it’s no wonder they’re in counseling. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:11] It would have been amazing if the husband was like, I don’t feel like I’m exciting enough for you. Or if his complaints in therapy mirrored what Gyllenhaal could have given him. 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:22] That’s a better movie. 

Paul Scheer [01:05:24] I mean, how could you not? How could you not fall in love? 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:26] And if the movie ended with them kissing! 

Roxane Gay [01:05:29] Oh, I would have loved that. That would have been true romance. 

Paul Scheer [01:05:33] I would love that. I mean, how can you not fall in love with a man who could get fire extinguisher white out of cashmere with really no, nothing. Like that white goes like he goes from Joker to just back to normal. 

Roxane Gay [01:05:50] Just willpower. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:53] Do you think Gyllenhaal is improvising? 

Paul Scheer [01:05:57] Yes. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:58] Got to be right? And by the way, killing it.

June Diane Raphael [01:06:02] He’s doing great. 

Paul Scheer [01:06:03] But now, now I’m thinking about this movie as him doing an impression of Michael Bay. It all, it actually makes sense. It’s like. 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:09] Yes, it does. 

Paul Scheer [01:06:10] Yes. And he’s like, yes, Oh, yeah. A lot of screaming. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:13] It’s just radical. 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:15] Call and response. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:16] Radical enthusiasm. 

Paul Scheer [01:06:18] Did you see this clip? It was on Instagram. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:21] No. 

Paul Scheer [01:06:22] You know, it’s basically, Michael Bay, whenever people are like, that’s too dangerous. I won’t do it. He’s like, “Fine, I’ll do it then.” And he gets, like he shoots his own stuff. And so there’s a scene where that ambulance is coming through and he’s on a rig and it’s like he’s shooting it and then like jumps off the rig because the ambulance crashes right through the camera. Like he’s like, Yeah, we did it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:50] I love it. I love it. 

Roxane Gay [01:06:51] Oh, my God. Could you imagine what his insurance costs are? 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:55] I wonder. 

Paul Scheer [01:06:56] Well, obviously, we have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with, well, maybe a same opinion, honestly, because we loved it. It’s now time for a second opinions. 

Audience [01:07:07] (Singing) But the cop is bleeding now. Cam is in the back now. Let them go. And I just can’t look at surgery, in Michael Bay mode. Ambulance in downtown Los Angeles, coked the brothers reckless, the good Brothers desperate, but it’s for his wife to pay for her cancer surgery. Keep your critics to yourself. Because I give it five stars. 

Paul Scheer [01:07:58] Amazing wow! 

Audience [01:07:58] I love you, Roxane. 

Roxane Gay [01:08:00] Thank you. That was amazing. 

Paul Scheer [01:08:03] All right. Amazon has, sorry. Ambulance has 14,000 reviews on Amazon. 63% are five star reviews. The average rating is 4.3 out of five. This is a big, big, fun movie. And I’ll start with Andrew Stebbins writes this, “Just because drive car does not mean mechanic. Just because watch sports does not mean athlete. Just because watch movies. Dot. Dot. Dot. I saw the trailer. I knew what it was. I like seeing what Michael Bay can do with in his own style. The cast was five stars. No movie viewer will get what one desires. But I must remember I was born and raised in America. I support one star reviews because of freedom of speech. But one star reviews about this movie are wrong. This movie was great. I appreciate the efforts and the unique shots. I have not seen any other filmmaker attempt. Like a drone underneath a jumping car. Getting to see the underbelly slide horizontally from one side to the other. I appreciate over time average quality increase. A lot of humans forget how over time the quality of all stream movies have gone up. I will not let myself be spoiled. I will enjoy movies that have earned and contribute to the increase in streamed movie quality. Five stars.” 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:33] Oh my God. 

Paul Scheer [01:09:38] Finally, a duo writes in and Jennifer and Kevin, Jennifer and Kevin write, “It only took me to the end to understand that this movie wasn’t about the chase. It was about our human stories. The first movie I’ve liked in a very long time. No political messaging. It was colorblind. I got a unifying message and a message about the consequences for the choices we make. The title of this is called Humanity and it’s five stars.” 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:16] Now, do you think that, do you think that Jennifer and Kevin wrote that together or Jennifer has an account that she’s titled Jennifer and Kevin? 

Paul Scheer [01:10:27] Oh, that’s interesting. They kind of like help her, like, get like more. 

Roxane Gay [01:10:31] Like my parents email account. 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:33] Exactly. 

Paul Scheer [01:10:37] We don’t often do this, but we are going to read a third opinion. This is a one star review. And I want to read this one because it’s pretty great. There’s a lot of weird one star reviews. They’re very political, and this one was great. It’s like, okay, this is “Spoiler alert. This film production probably ran in the millions. The money spent was used to make L.A. police look like fools, losers and buffoons. No offense to buffoons.” 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:11] Honestly, honestly, we are speaking so negatively about buffoons. Culturally. 

Paul Scheer [01:11:18] “Car chase after car chase through L.A. with hundreds of police cars and helicopters chasing ambulance down with no success. If you believe that, then you are a fool. I don’t want to give away the end of the film, but I knew that liberal Hollywood script writers would make it okay to give money to the poor wife. Money stolen from the bank and people were shot. The wife needs an operation. So what? Many people are in that position. Don’t revert to crime. The real thing should be if you commit a crime, there’s no reward. Also, how did the EMS worker carry all that cash? There was a truckload of police and FBI on the scene. They would have taken possession of that bank money. Another Hollywood ‘let’s shoot a film and make a buck.’ The fools in the audience will buy any kind of junk. Sorry, but crime doesn’t pay. One star.”. 

Paul Scheer [01:12:23] So angry. About this woman getting on a cancer operation. 

Roxane Gay [01:12:28] Seriously, Josh Hawley needs to find something to do with his free time. 

Paul Scheer [01:12:34] Oh, my gosh. I know that we all recommend this movie. I want to tell you a couple of things. One, two things about it. The helicopter chase sequence in the Los Angeles River was not in the script. Michael Bay came up with the idea over a weekend and shot it in 2 hours. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:51] What happened that weekend? How how did he get there? I want to know everything. 

Paul Scheer [01:12:58] He shot it in two and a half hours when the helicopter became available. But here’s the thing. He couldn’t hire stuntmen. So Jake Gyllenhaal was actually hanging off the side of the ambulance and shooting at the helicopters. And Yahya was driving. Yahya was streaming it to a friend as he was driving and said, “This is the craziest shit I’ve ever done.”. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:19] And it works. It feels visceral. 

Paul Scheer [01:13:22] Michael Bay, on the first day of shooting, Michael Bay went up to a couple of cops on the street and said, Hey, you want to be in the movie? To which they agreed. And they used an opportunity to shoot to create a roadblock which allowed them to close the freeway for free. Instead of paying $400,000. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:45] Bayhem. 

Roxane Gay [01:13:46] Oh, my God. 

Paul Scheer [01:13:48] This movie was a failure in the world of the movie theaters, because it was a budget of 40 million, which is kind of low 40 million budget for Michael Bay. Yeah, it was the budget, the opening weekend was only 8.7 million and it grossed 22. Across the world it made 52 million. But this movie was beat by Moonfall, which we did here on the podcast. 

Roxane Gay [01:14:15] Oh, my God. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:18] Fuck the moon.  Fuck the moon. 

Roxane Gay [01:14:22] Great movie. Great, great movie. 

Paul Scheer [01:14:24] Oh, actually, as a matter of fact. Sorry. And Morbius. Like, so it beat. The movie came in 49, but this movie was beat by Morbius. So Morbius made more money than ambulance. 

Roxane Gay [01:14:37] Is that the Marvel one? 

Paul Scheer [01:14:38] Yeah, I know, but. But let’s go down the line. Would you recommend this movie, Jason? 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:45] Yeah, 1,000,000%. This falls into the same category for me is movies that we’ve done like Face Off or Con Air or these are, this movie is. I mean this, fantastic. This is a blast top to bottom. And a lot of it is both Michael Bay. And I just rewatched Pain and Gain. I’m a sucker for Michael Bay right? Bayhem except for Transformers, which I’m a hard pass. 

Paul Scheer [01:15:16] I’ve watched them all in their breath. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:18] Really? I haven’t at all. And they drive me crazy. But. And but I will say the movie works primarily because I think the performances are fantastic. Yeah, everybody is great. And making this movie. When. When. What’s the woman’s name? Who’s with Garret Dillahunt? Zaga. When she says, when she says it’s a very expensive car chase right now. I was like, yes, this movie is the perfect amount of meta. Everybody’s commenting slightly and they’re referencing Michael Bay movies. That’s it. Perfect. No notes, five stars. 

June Diane Raphael [01:15:55] Yeah. I have to say, I agree. I really enjoyed it. And once, once Lindsay, the six year old, was impaled and we showed it. I was like, once that happened and we were inside that car and there is that rough piece of metal sticking out of a six year old’s stomach. I was like, we’re off to the races. You know, we are. From there on out, it was like, it was a really fun ride and Nitro and then when Nitro folded into the plot pretty seamlessly. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:31] Nitro. Nitro has a real sergeant meatball vibes. 

June Diane Raphael [01:16:34] Oh, he reminded me so much of our dog that I was happy to see him on the screen. And, yeah, I really enjoyed it. I was just. It was fun throughout. Five stars. 

Paul Scheer [01:16:50] Roxane. 

Roxane Gay [01:16:51] You know, just classic cinema. I, I just love this sort of type of movie that when you read about it, you’re like, no, that can’t be real. That must be The Onion. Like, stop, stop kidding around. But then you see the preview and you’re like, Oh, shit, they really made this movie. They really spent money and like, people made like they did their little jobs and like, together. And so I love that, like that everyone came together and was like, It’s a paycheck. And yet, as you said, the acting was just ten out of ten. I’m sorry, but like people were like, give me my Oscar. And the fact that it was overlooked. It hurts. It does. I’m a little bitter about it. I thought Zac zags. I don’t know why I’m having such a brain lapse. I thought she was incredible and she deserved her own movie. I wanted just a bunch of one liners and her amazing haircut and the fact that she was again, competence is sexy. Yeah. So I loved the whole movie up until they’re under the bridge where it should have ended because they run away into the sunset and then they whatever. But still, the fact that they were like, you know what? We could end it here. But what would really improve it is to paint the ambulance green in such a way that we’re not hiding the three on top that they’ve used to identify us all along. And let’s just kick this for another 45 minutes and see what happens. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:18:43] Honestly, I would have taken 45 more. 

Roxane Gay [01:18:45] I would have too. That they had the courage to do the stupidest thing possible and then end the movie like in the most ridiculous way possible, where like, there’s no reality where this would have happened. But let’s commit. Five out of five. Yeah, absolutely excellent film. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:19:08] I can’t. I know. And I know you brought it up before, but I really want to drill down on. You cannot. The movie in microcosm is contained in the scene in which they are using face time to conduct surgery in the back of the ambulance. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:19:28] While playing golf. A three way call.

Jason Mantzoukas [01:19:33] With her ex-boyfriend doctor, and two specialists who are on a golf course. The ambulance is going 60 miles an hour. She’s reaching into the guy’s guts, holding his aorta, trying to find his spleen, all this crazy nonsense. And then at the end of it all, she uses her hair clip to suture or whatever the spleen shut or to stop the bleeding. And then it works. And they go, [laughs nervously].

Roxane Gay [01:20:01] Like she had like an iPad just back there. 

June Diane Raphael [01:20:05] And wifi. You know, it’s interesting. I did think this at the very end, like only one person called Zack ever. And that was the police. Not a single other person in Zack’s life after his face. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:20:23] Zack is unloved. 

June Diane Raphael [01:20:25] His face is plastered across the news. I mean, people knew that he had. He was a hostage, not a single person sent a text.

Roxane Gay [01:20:33] Also the teller, Tina? The fact that she didn’t even come to visit him, that was an oversight on Bay’s part. Like, let’s bring this full circle. 

June Diane Raphael [01:20:42] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [01:20:42] And she says, “You know what? I will go out on a date with you once you get the banana clip out.” 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:20:49] She’s like, “I will date you as long as you have a spleen.” And he’s like, “Oh no.” 

Paul Scheer [01:20:57] I will tell you this. I’ll give it five stars. This is a thank God it’s got made. A return to form for Michael Bay. I’m going. Yes, I like Pain and Gain, but I’m going to say, not since Bad Boys 2. 2003, have we seen a level of Michael Bay in this. Like Six Underground’s fine, whatever. But like, Pain and Gain was fun, but I feel like it wasn’t fully like Michael Bayed out and I feel like I’m excited to see this. I hope he makes more movies like this. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:21:26] I would like for this to be the beginning of like, I want to know more about these people. Like, give me more. 

Paul Scheer [01:21:33] Well, that’s what’s happening with Plane. Plane is doing a sequel. 

Roxane Gay [01:21:37] Stop. 

Paul Scheer [01:21:38] Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [01:21:39] Stop. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:21:41] Roxane. Oh, no, it’s, it’s boat. Isn’t it called boat or ship? 

Paul Scheer [01:21:44] Yeah, it’s Ship. It’s boat. Yeah. Yeah. 

Roxane Gay [01:21:46] I’m about to cry. I’m so happy. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:21:47] It’s Mike Colter character’s story. So I don’t know if, I assume Gerard Butler won’t be in it, but it’s his story, and I believe it’s called Ship. 

Paul Scheer [01:21:59] It’s called Ship. And it’s going to be Mike Colter’s story. And yeah, I think it’s him escaping. I feel like that’s that would be. 

Roxane Gay [01:22:07] Oh that’s going to be awesome. Yeah he’s so hot. And I mean that’s of course the primary criterion. But other than that–

Paul Scheer [01:22:18] Ship will pick up where the storyline left off in Plane. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:22:21] Oh, so it’s not pequel. 

Paul Scheer [01:22:22] No. With the legionare disappearing into the jungles of Jolo Island, it’s not clear whether or not Butler will return for the next film. 

Roxane Gay [01:22:28] Oh, he wil. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:22:29] Oh, he will. 

Paul Scheer [01:22:30] Anything you want to plug, Roxane, you’ve done. You have so much. Anything you want to tell anybody to follow or do or– 

Roxane Gay [01:22:36] 10/10/23. I have a book called Opinions coming out. We’re working on the subtitle right now, but I think it’s a black woman’s opinion, something like that. It’s going to be better than that. But it’s called Opinions and it’s out on 10/10/23. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:22:54] Will there be a chapter dedicated to Ambulance? 

Roxane Gay [01:22:57] There will be now, obviously.

Roxane Gay [01:23:01] A transcription of this podcast. 

Paul Scheer [01:23:01] We need to have you come back. Now that we like, I mean, look, we have Fast and Furious. We have Hobbs and Shaw. We have Ships, we have Planes. We have to have you back. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:23:11] Isaac Gonzalez from this movie in Hobbs and Shaw. 

Roxane Gay [01:23:14] You have to have me back. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:23:16] And truly like, thank you. Because it’s you that said I want to do Ambulance. So we are doing it. 

June Diane Raphael [01:23:24] Thank you, Roxane. 

Roxane Gay [01:23:25] Thank you for humoring me. 

Paul Scheer [01:23:26] It was great. It was great to make, like we were excited about it because we’ve been sitting on it for a while. We knew that you wanted to do it, so we were like, we’re going to hold. We’re going to hold it for a good live show. And so this is it. Jason, do anything you want to plug. 

June Diane Raphael [01:23:42] Um, no. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:23:42] I’ll plug a couple of podcasts that I was recently a guest on that I thought were great. TV I say with Ashley Rae. Absolutely fantastic TV podcast. And then 2 Johns Don’t Make a Right, which is our friends John Schrader and John Daly driving around Los Angeles, not making right hand turns. 

Paul Scheer [01:23:59] I’ve been on it. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:24:01] It’s been it’s an absolutely bananas podcast. And we did it at night. 2 Johns Don’t make a night? 

Paul Scheer [01:24:12] It is really, really fun. I want to call it a great show that you should be watching. It’s called Grand Crew. It’s on Peacock. Nicole Byer. Carl Tart. Really, really great. And if we’re talking about podcasts, I want to call it this podcast called Valley Heat, which is a comedy podcast about a guy who lives in the Rancho Cucamonga district of Burbank or no, like the the equestrian area of Burbank, who thinks that there’s drugs being trafficked in his neighborhood. It’s just go find it. It’s great. Valley Heat and it’s a really very funny podcast. So that’s what I will I will plug there and thank you to you, the Largo audience. Thank you for coming out here tonight. 

June Diane Raphael [01:24:56] Thank you, guys. 

Paul Scheer [01:24:58] Thank you to our amazing team up in the booth. Thank you to Largo. Thank you, everybody, for coming out here tonight. 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:25:04] We did it. 

Paul Scheer [01:25:06] Thank you, everybody, for listening to this week’s episode of How Did This Get Made? Make sure you check out Valley Heat and Grand Crew, which we talked about last week on Last Looks with our good friends Phil Augusta Jackson and Carl Tart. Also, make sure you check out your Largo’s schedule to see when How Did This Get Made is coming to you live or are you coming to it live because it will only be in L.A. And also where you can see me, Phil, Jason and Carl all do improv with a group we like to call Dinosaur. People, thank you for listening. We’ll see you next week on Last Looks. Please bring your questions, your concerns, your comment. I know you have them. Just give me a call at 619-PAUL-ASK. And you know what? Check into our teepublic store where you will see the latest in our merch. And stay tuned because a summer tour announcement is coming. Oh, yes, it is. But this show, what you’re listening to right here, couldn’t be done without a couple of things. First of all, you listening. But more importantly, I’m talking about the amazing, producoreal work of Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds and our movie picking producer Avril Halley, our engineer Alex Gonzalez, and our publisher July Diaz. People, they make the trains run and we love them. So we will see you next week for Last Looks. And until then, bye for now.