EP. 361.6 — Dracula 2000 (Re-Release)

 

[00:00:00] Paul Scheer: Hello, people of Earth and hello, Gerard Butler fans. You know, here on How Did This Get Made, we have spent a lot of time critiquing, looking at, analyzing Gerard Butler films. And there’s one thing that we can say. The man never gives a bad performance. And guess what? This weekend, he might be giving one of his best performances of all time in a little movie called Den of Thieves 2.

[00:00:26] But don’t take my word for it. Listen to someone. Very close to the film.

[00:00:33] Gerard Butler: Hello, people of Earth, and what’s up, jerks? It’s me, Gerry Butler. So, I heard you’ve been talking about me a lot on your little show, and I also heard that you’re big fans of Den of Thieves. Hmm. Well, if you like the first one, you’re gonna fucking love this one.

[00:00:49] It’s the most exciting action you’ve ever seen. It is the biggest, most brilliant heist you’ve ever, ever, ever seen. And the best performance that you’re ever, ever, ever gonna see in all of human history, especially from moi. It is surprisingly emotional. So if you want to see a real good movie, make sure to check out Den of Thieves 2.

[00:01:14] Paul Scheer: Thank you, Gerard Butler. And you heard the man get your tickets to Den of Thieves 2. You know, I am. I mean, I’m, I’m first in line. Thank you, Gerard Butler for doing that. I can’t believe that you did. We love you. And we promise we will not make fun of any more of your movies, you know, I cannot say that we won’t do that.

[00:01:37] As a matter of fact, enjoy Dracula 2000. Today’s show is sponsored by the Virgin megastore. When Draculia wants songs that don’t suck, he goes to Virgin. We saw Dracula 2000. So you know what that means?

[00:01:55] Music: [Intro song] [00:01:59] Paul Scheer: Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made. I am Paul Scheer, and today we are talking about Dracula 2000, a film that you all picked, that’s right, you voted for this film out of a list of 10 films on the Discord.

[00:02:14] We had no say, we had no option, we gave it all to you. We wanted to see how you would do, if you could best Our amazing producer, Errol Halley, who picks all of our films. And you know what? You brought some heat. You gave us a Gerard Butler film that came out and you guessed it 2000. And, uh, what do you need to know?

[00:02:34] Dracula. He’s in new Orleans. It’s 2000 vitamin C is in it. The singer. All right, let’s break it down and, uh, introduce my two co hosts. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas and June Diane Rayfield. How are you both?

[00:02:48] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, now, now I know who to blame. I didn’t know, I didn’t know they made us watch this. So that makes, that seems like punishment.

[00:02:56] Paul Scheer: They have been, uh, begging to pick a movie, begging to pick a movie.

[00:03:00] Jason Mantzoukas: And, uh, this is what they chose.

[00:03:02] Paul Scheer: This is it. Old school, Gerry Butler action. By the way, Gerry Butler is Dracula. We love Gerard Butler on the show. And this does not look like the Gerard Butler that I know and love. I mean, this is like,

[00:03:19] June Diane Raphael: Can I just say something?

[00:03:20] I did not know it was Gerard Butler until about 45 seconds ago. And there were many points where I thought, God, he looks a lot like Gerard Butler. And then I thought, I wonder who that guy is. And then I thought, Wow. I wonder if that guy and Gerard Butler were coming up around the same time. And then Gerard Butler took off.

[00:03:39] Jason Mantzoukas: In fact, they were.

[00:03:42] June Diane Raphael: I had so many, I mean, I was very much so with Gerard Butler watching this movie, but was also like, who that’s not is Gerard Butler. Like I, the physique.

[00:03:53] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes. Very different.

[00:03:55] Paul Scheer: He is like.

[00:03:56] June Diane Raphael: The bone structure, just his body’s like.

[00:03:59] Jason Mantzoukas: Very lean and live.

[00:04:00] June Diane Raphael: Structure. That’s what I’m saying. A pilates bod.

[00:04:04] Paul Scheer: Yeah. He looks a little bit like, um, James Franco meets like the cover of a romance novel. Like the, the character that, yeah, yeah.

[00:04:13] Jason Mantzoukas: Like, uh, it looks like, I feel like they modeled him after, The, uh, uh, Dream in The Sandman in, in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman. Like, I feel like they have him looking exactly like Dream, which is very weird and interesting. But I thought he looks great. And this is, I’m assuming, right, this is before 300? Is that right?

[00:04:33] Paul Scheer: Yes. This is 2000. This is before 300. He was actually doing a play on Broadway and they gave him a break to come shoot this life changing movie. This movie that was going to change everything.

[00:04:45] Jason Mantzoukas: I feel like 300 changed, like A, really broke Gerard Butler huge, but also broke him in a way that made us feel like he’s, he’s meant to be this big, beefy, muscular, that’s the body type.

[00:04:58] June Diane Raphael: I’m so fascinated. And I have to say, say after watching this, I’m like, not only does Gerard’s, Gerard’s Butler, does Gerard Butler.

[00:05:07] Paul Scheer: How do you think Gerard’s Butler?

[00:05:10] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s the t shirt, Gerard’s Butler. It’s his Alfred. He’s like, I’m home, Alfred.

[00:05:16] June Diane Raphael: I really was like, Oh, it can’t be him because of course is his, I find him to be a bigger presence on screen always.

[00:05:23] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:05:24] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, and that’s one of the things that I wrote is I was like, they’re giving him nothing. They’re giving him nothing to do barely any lines. And the true disservice to him and everybody else who’s a vampire is the fake vampire teeth are making the lines they do have, sound weird.

[00:05:41] Paul Scheer: Okay. Well, I mean.

[00:05:42] June Diane Raphael: I got so much to say about those teeth.

[00:05:44] Paul Scheer: Oh yeah, the teeth. I have a lot to say about the teeth. I will also say that this movie starts off in a place that’s very hard for me, which is a place I like to call accent confusion. There are so many accents coming in in that first speaking scene. I mean, we don’t need this prologue of a ship at sea.

[00:06:02] But we have it. But then once people start speaking, I’m like, Christopher Plummer, you’re doing something, uh, Jennifer Esposito, you’re doing something, Johnny Lee Miller, you’re doing something like, and I’m like, my brain couldn’t handle it.

[00:06:14] Jason Mantzoukas: Gerard Butler is doing something.

[00:06:15] Paul Scheer: Oh yeah.

[00:06:16] Jason Mantzoukas: Um, Mary in New Orleans is doing none of their.

[00:06:20] June Diane Raphael: I thought she was Tatiana Massani for a while.

[00:06:23] Jason Mantzoukas: What?

[00:06:24] June Diane Raphael: Yep.

[00:06:24] Jason Mantzoukas: Tatiana Maslany from the year 2000?

[00:06:27] June Diane Raphael: I know. I, you know, so much was going on. I didn’t.

[00:06:30] Jason Mantzoukas: She wasn’t born then. No, but I mean, like, I couldn’t, nobody’s accents made sense to where we were meeting them also?

[00:06:39] Paul Scheer: No.

[00:06:40] Jason Mantzoukas: You know, so you’re like, here we are in London. Christopher Plummer, uh, in fact has a, whatever is Van Helsing, German or Austrian or what is van Helsing?

[00:06:50] June Diane Raphael: I don’t know, but not like British.

[00:06:54] Jason Mantzoukas: No, but he’s doing a weird accent. He’s doing like a German Austrian accent.

[00:06:58] June Diane Raphael: I feel like also so British appoints.

[00:07:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes.

[00:07:01] Paul Scheer: Yes. It’s kind of like the accent work in my favorite accent film. House of Gucci.

[00:07:08] Jason Mantzoukas: House-a-Gucci!. Oh mama mia, itsa House-a-Gucci!

[00:07:13] Paul Scheer: How’s the Gucci. This is like house of Gucci level accent work because it’s like, I’m in, I’m out. What is happening?

[00:07:20] I also just. The movie is confusing straight up because we start with Christopher Plummer working at this antiquities firm that seems like, wow, this, how are they making money, is really what I wanted to get into, like, how is Carfax.

[00:07:36] June Diane Raphael: Listen, well, I’ll tell you, you know, I worked at an antique shop in the Upper East Side for a year, so I do havethere’s big money in antiques.

[00:07:44] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, and he says we’re turning a profit, aren’t we? You know, like, yeah, they’re, they’re trading in a lot of great stuff.

[00:07:50] Paul Scheer: I mean, what are they trading in? Because Johnny Lee Miller is like bringing him a crossbow. Like, like, and it’s like, you.

[00:07:57] June Diane Raphael: All sorts of curiosities, though, Paul. Like, all sorts of curiosities.

[00:08:01] Jason Mantzoukas: And if it’s not related to Van Helsing’s previous work as a monster hunter, then I guess it gets sold at auction.

[00:08:08] Paul Scheer: But. The safe, the state of the art safe that he has, the vault is a true catacomb. Like the building is, you know, yes, it’s made out of stone and it’s in this, uh, and I don’t know what that real building is in London, but it, it’s a beautiful building.

[00:08:26] It’s a stone stone building.

[00:08:27] Jason Mantzoukas: There’s a lot of cool visual stuff that is, that is real, you know, inside of this that I enjoy.

[00:08:31] Paul Scheer: But when they open up this safe, they go into an old school medieval game of thrones style dungeon where it’s like skulls are out like and and like things are being kept on shelves It’s like at this point.

[00:08:46] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.

[00:08:46] Paul Scheer: Van helsing could have just cleaned up cleaned up upped it put some nice security and like his security even seems to be antiquated like just old school spikes.

[00:08:58] Jason Mantzoukas: It’s easily beaten. It’s easy. I mean, like there’s a Diehard level, Nakatomi Plaza, like we’re in, you know, just like hacking the computer. And then it’s over where we’re like, it’s so easy for what is yeah. To me, it seems to me like this group is not. Like super sophisticated. They seem like they’re just trying to come in and rob the place.

[00:09:19] Paul Scheer: They literally have a recreation of Van Helsing’s eye, which is like, how crazy was that?

[00:09:25] June Diane Raphael: I found them to be pretty sophisticated, so much so that I was like, who is behind this, exactly?

[00:09:31] Paul Scheer: I think Omar Epps and Omar.

[00:09:33] Jason Mantzoukas: And Jennifer Esposito. Yeah, because she’s the one that’s saying There’s something if there’s no, you don’t have a vault if they don’t know, that’s the thing they don’t know.

[00:09:41] June Diane Raphael: I’m just trying to understand. They, Jennifer Esposito and Omar Epps are. They they own a private plane. It seems a private jet.

[00:09:51] Paul Scheer: Yeah, a prop.

[00:09:52] Jason Mantzoukas: Or they or they get one. Yeah, they’re they’re like a thief team. They’re like Ocean’s 11.

[00:09:58] June Diane Raphael: I guess they’re like Ocean’s 11. I’m just like, what’s interesting about them to me is that they already must have so much money as just an organization of criminals. They already must have so much money that they have a private plane, that they’ve embedded her in this.

[00:10:17] They got all these people on the payroll to open up a safe where they don’t know what’s going to be in there.

[00:10:23] Paul Scheer: That’s my issue. Jennifer Esposito, if you are a master safe cracker, she’s like, I, my gut tells me they got something good in here. Like that’s it.

[00:10:32] Jason Mantzoukas: You wouldn’t mount this whole operation without knowing what you were stealing. You would never, you would never go to these lengths on a hunch. You know what I mean? Like, that’s.

[00:10:41] June Diane Raphael: I should hope not.

[00:10:42] Paul Scheer: They literally, they have antiquities. They have things they could steal that are worth a lot of money.

[00:10:48] Jason Mantzoukas: Now I kind of want there to be an Ocean’s Eleven sequel.

[00:10:52] Paul Scheer: Oh, I wrote that down. We need a prequel.

[00:10:53] Jason Mantzoukas: Where what they’re, where what they’re stealing is Dracula. They get everybody around and it’s like that, that snappy music. And then Clooney’s like, okay, we know that Dracula is underneath the Wynn hotel, the hotel and casino in Vegas. We’re going to go in, we’re going to soak it in blood and we’re going to wake Dracula.

[00:11:12] Paul Scheer: Oh, and by the way, the way that they pronounce Draculia, um, the way Draculia, they, they, are able to run off with what looks like an incredibly heavy coffin so quickly that Van Helsing, when he realizes that his shit’s being broken into, doesn’t even give chase, but it seems like they’re in a sewer tunnel with a giant ass coffin. There was no car, there was nothing like that.

[00:11:39] Jason Mantzoukas: They would have gotten max a hundred feet from where they were. You know, before he was like, Oh, hey, stop.

[00:11:44] June Diane Raphael: I believe it’s broad daylight when they get in there.

[00:11:46] Jason Mantzoukas: And they also exit through a hole in the wall. They have no idea where it’s going. That was not part of their plan. They’re just improvising.

[00:11:54] June Diane Raphael: Again, if I were them, I would just take whatever. Honestly, I would sell that private jet. And I would put that money in a, in a, you know, high yielding kind of IRA or something, Roth IRA and just live off, just live off the interest, like why are we doing this? What are we doing this, it just doesn’t make sense.

[00:12:13] Paul Scheer: You know, how did this get financed? How did this get invested? Um, I will say this. What I really love about the robbery scene is the constant justifications like they’re like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They’ll definitely put skulls up to freak us out.

[00:12:28] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, don’t you get it? Don’t you get it? This is just to scare us away.

[00:12:32] Paul Scheer: What? No! We’re 2, 000 people.

[00:12:36] Jason Mantzoukas: It’s shocking throughout how much people, and I guess maybe this is just the thing, is like in horror movies, how much people are willing to justify true warning signs as just absolutely normal.

[00:12:48] June Diane Raphael: Major red flags.

[00:12:50] Paul Scheer: Omar Epps is doing backflips here to explain why they should be taking a coffin that’s ingesting blood.

[00:12:56] Movie Audio: We’re here for money, Marcus.

[00:12:57] The skulls are to scare us. The crosses, the coffin, all of it. It’s a grand spanking mindfuck to scare off thieves.

[00:13:05] If you make a killing, why in the safe?

[00:13:08] When you can hide in a coffin.

[00:13:09] This look like an old wood box to you guys? The holy grail, the golden fleece, the crown fucking jewels, whatever it is. It’s inside. You get your gear and you get this thing open.

[00:13:23] No, I am not touching that fucking coffin.

[00:13:25] You wanna get paid? Get it open.

[00:13:29] Paul Scheer: I mean, that scene to me is like. I don’t follow this leader. I don’t believe in this. Like they are delusional. I don’t think they are good thieves.

[00:13:35] Jason Mantzoukas: Let me ask you this. They’re there. They are, they seem to think they’re robbing obviously a wealthy antiquities dealer who has a vault, a vault, probably full of riches. Okay. Got it. Do they know, or do they not know that his name is Van Helsing?

[00:13:53] Paul Scheer: Because Dracula does exist here in this world.

[00:13:56] June Diane Raphael: They do know.

[00:13:57] Jason Mantzoukas: And, and if they do know that, do they are, is nobody from the Jennifer Esposito, Omar Epps, and even Johnny Lee Miller, frankly, even though he’s not part of the robbers, he’s still in, in Van Helsing’s employ. Nobody is ever like, Hey, are you related to Van Helsing of the Van Helsing’s Van Helsing? Like it makes, it makes.

[00:14:18] June Diane Raphael: Another question, you know, not to get back to their financial situation. But if I’m. If I have developed or have the ability to get the technology to copy someone’s retina and their handprints.

[00:14:33] Paul Scheer: That’s Minority Report level stuff. Like a movie that came out that’s like future technology.

[00:14:37] June Diane Raphael: That’s fine if they know the Hope Diamonds behind there. Yeah. But what I cannot wrap my mind around is just, they have this, I mean, how much do you think that eyeball costs? That eyeball alone.

[00:14:50] Paul Scheer: The fuel.

[00:14:51] Jason Mantzoukas: I did think it was cool. The eyeball, the closeup on the eyeball, turning into the lock. Undoing on the vault. Yeah, there was, there was some cool visuals in there and I liked all that stuff, but I agree with you a hundred percent. They must have invested tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars into the pre work for a robbery. They did not know what it would yield.

[00:15:14] Paul Scheer: Okay, here, here’s another thing I just want to put out there about these robbers. It’s, it seems like it’s quitting time when they pull off their first. You know when, ’cause it’s like, oh, I’m leaving for the day. Goodbye. Door closes, you know? So let’s say it’s five or six o’clock, give or take, you know, in that zone, you know?

[00:15:30] June Diane Raphael: Oh yeah. I guess it’s not broad daylight. You’re right. It’s the end of day. It’s end of business end.

[00:15:34] Paul Scheer: It’s end of business, end of bend, end of business.

[00:15:36] Jason Mantzoukas: And it’s London. So it’s gloomy and gray.

[00:15:39] Paul Scheer: Exactly.

[00:15:40] June Diane Raphael: That’s very true. Perfect.

[00:15:41] Jason Mantzoukas: Perfect robbing weather.

[00:15:42] Paul Scheer: Perfect Drac weather. Uh, and so here’s my thought. They run down that sewer tunnel and they’re like, okay, um, well here’s a manhole cover. And then so in the middle of early evening, rush hour traffic, they’re popping open a manhole cover and then lifting easily. Yeah. A 300 pound, like 200 pounds.

[00:16:05] Jason Mantzoukas: I would say 500 pounds. Yeah, five. It’s like, it has a corpse in it, and it’s, it is made of the heaviest metal.

[00:16:12] Paul Scheer: It, it, like lead it feels like. So they’re just. Pushing that up. I, again, get me a camera on this team.

[00:16:19] Jason Mantzoukas: A bunch of their guys have been killed. And that’s the other thing. They don’t react at all. The two of their cohorts have been killed by antique booby traps.

[00:16:30] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:16:30] Jason Mantzoukas: These guys are getting full blown speared with like, you know, and, and, and everybody’s just like, Whoa, okay, come on, we got to get this thing out of here. And they just, they, they move so quickly past their dead, uh, teammates that I was like, there is, I feel like the movie’s problem is the movie’s problem is it’s not sure who the movie’s about, you know, like if this movie was smart, it would have been about, it would have been the Oceans 11. It would have been about the robbers and their. They’re, they’ve got a tip, they’ve got a lead, they’re gonna rob this place, but and then when they get there, uh oh, it’s Dracula.

[00:17:07] June Diane Raphael: Or, the movie could have just been about Mary Von Helsing, which I thought was interesting. I was like, oh, that’s, that’s sort of a new way into Dracula, like someone who has part Dracula blood.

[00:17:20] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Or it could have been about the guy that he hired to make all those contraptions, like, all right, so I do need a coffin that, you know, the turn. I do need. I do need like a lot of leeches. I need a helmet.

[00:17:36] Jason Mantzoukas: Like all that happened like 100 years ago.

[00:17:40] Paul Scheer: Okay. So that’s old technology.

[00:17:42] Jason Mantzoukas: I think that coffin’s old school.

[00:17:44] Paul Scheer: Alright, wow. So it’s gonna be heavier.

[00:17:46] Jason Mantzoukas: And the switch underneath it because also the booby traps seemed like they were like rusty spikes from a hundred years ago.

[00:17:54] June Diane Raphael: Do you think those booby traps, like, do you think they’re tested? Like, you know, when you leave a car at a friend’s house and then like you ask them to go start it every you know, once a week. So it doesn’t, I don’t know.

[00:18:05] Jason Mantzoukas: Do you think they do dry runs?

[00:18:07] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. Like just cause, just cause if those booby traps hadn’t been used for hundreds of years, like, wow.

[00:18:14] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, and I will say this and now I’m going to amend what I said. All those booby traps were old, but there is also a modern security system, like a computer based security system. And at some point somebody would have had to have installed all that.

[00:18:29] Paul Scheer: You could have gone in there and cleaned up the skulls. I mean.

[00:18:32] June Diane Raphael: By the way, you and I just had a conversation not to talk about. I know I’ve, I know I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble on this podcast with what I’ve said about locksmiths.

[00:18:44] But I did want to say, you know, just talking about security systems, cause I actually, one of the ways they get in to the antiquities firm is one of the, one of the robber says he’s part of security, uh, and is checking on the security system.

[00:19:01] Paul Scheer: Well, and also, uh, they throw a Pokemon, a Pokemon ball at one of the things, like whatever technology that is that Omar Epps throws an exploding ball at that guy’s face. Like that seems like it’s just a stun. thing, but I’ve never seen that.

[00:19:15] June Diane Raphael: Patent that technology. Yeah. Sell it to the military and live the rest of your lives in peace, alive.

[00:19:22] Jason Mantzoukas: They don’t, they don’t want that. They love the juice of the heist.

[00:19:25] June Diane Raphael: Never been in there. Anyway, what I was going to say, you and I just went over last night, something that I had completely forgotten, which is a gentleman who installed our security system, this is way back when at an old apartment of ours. It was incredibly creepy.

[00:19:41] Paul Scheer: We did go over that, Jason. We did.

[00:19:43] June Diane Raphael: We turned it over. And I was like, God, you gotta look twice.

[00:19:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, you just did? Or at the time?

[00:19:47] June Diane Raphael: We just did. No, no, no, no. It was like, we’d never talked about it. This event that happened where this man said something so fucking strange to me while we were both in the house and we were walking around showing him like where we needed to protect ourselves. And he was like, straight up serial killer. Straight up.

[00:20:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow. Wow.

[00:20:02] June Diane Raphael: Okay. And then we proceeded to pay him to install all of our alarms, but I.

[00:20:09] Paul Scheer: I mean, once they’re in your house, you’ve already, you have to roll the dice.

[00:20:13] Jason Mantzoukas: It’s not an oral contract. You can, you can go to someone else.

[00:20:17] Paul Scheer: Well, he’s already in, he’s already in. We already invited the vampire in.

[00:20:20] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s the, basically that’s the cold open to one of these movies. That’s like, okay, you know, he says something creepy and then you’re like, we sure we’re still going to use you.

[00:20:30] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, I just feel like a consumer of security systems. You have no recourse with this, you know, with like the people who are installing. It’s like I have to assume at some point I have to take a leap of faith here.

[00:20:42] Jason Mantzoukas: Cut to Gerry Orbach walking around, surveying your bodies, being like, I don’t know what happened. And then the rest of the Law and Order episode happens.

[00:20:54] Paul Scheer: We’ve already poked holes in the idea that thieves shouldn’t go off of a, a gut check of wealth, but their plan then is let’s take this giant ass coffin that we can’t figure out how to open to the Cayman islands, which is off the coast of Cuba, uh, you know, near Jamaica, they’re coming from the UK and they land in a swamp in New Orleans, which if you try to put all of that together, it seemingly makes no sense.

[00:21:25] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, remember, dracula ties the pilot to his chair, and I believe makes him take him to New Orleans.

[00:21:32] Paul Scheer: And the only reason why he wants to go to New Orleans is because he feels.

[00:21:35] Jason Mantzoukas: He can sense the blood of Mary is Van Helsing’s daughter, who passed some of Dracula’s blood on to Mary. Christopher Plummer is Mary’s father. He has Dracula’s blood. Right. So now Dracula can sense, I believe, This is the movie’s logic. Consents Mary’s presence in the world. They have been dreaming about her.

[00:21:56] Paul Scheer: Right. They see each other.

[00:21:57] Jason Mantzoukas: They see each other like in dreams.

[00:21:59] Paul Scheer: Like Kylo Ren.

[00:22:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Like Rey and Kylo Ren! Yes!

[00:22:04] Paul Scheer: I didn’t even put that together.

[00:22:05] June Diane Raphael: Are you saying, okay, so here’s what I just didn’t like quite pick up on. Before he’s awakened by the robbers, Dracula, Dracula, does she have any sense of him or no?

[00:22:17] Jason Mantzoukas: She’s dreaming about him.

[00:22:19] June Diane Raphael: Before he wakes up?

[00:22:20] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes. Oh, her whole life. She’s like, she says, yeah.

[00:22:23] Paul Scheer: Because like her roommate’s like, you’re yelling again.

[00:22:25] Jason Mantzoukas: But it’s getting worse. I think it’s getting worse. Maybe. Wait, who is vitamin C? You keep saying that.

[00:22:31] Paul Scheer: Vitamin C is Lucy Westerman.

[00:22:34] Jason Mantzoukas: But I mean, I’m sorry. Who is vitamin C?

[00:22:36] Paul Scheer: Oh, sorry. Good question. So Vitamin C was like, um, And I don’t want to use this term derogatorily, but a one hit wonder like had a very popular song, um, and I’m trying to remember the name of it. It was, uh, it was Graduation.

[00:22:51] Um, here, you can take a listen to that.

[00:22:58] Music: [Graduation by Vitamin C] [00:23:21] June Diane Raphael: So who was vitamin C in the movie?

[00:23:23] Paul Scheer: Lucy Westerman, the roommate.

[00:23:24] Jason Mantzoukas: The roommate.

[00:23:24] Paul Scheer: The roommate. Who works at Virgin Megastore and is in front of her own rack of CDs.

[00:23:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, is that right?

[00:23:31] June Diane Raphael: Okay, so she created that Graduation song?

[00:23:33] Paul Scheer: Yes. Was the singer of it.

[00:23:35] June Diane Raphael: Singing in it?

[00:23:36] Paul Scheer: Yeah. That’s her. Yeah. Her name was Vitamin C. And she was a singer. And she had.

[00:23:41] June Diane Raphael: As we go on. Okay. Got it.

[00:23:43] Paul Scheer: Yeah. I mean, she released a lot of, a lot of albums. I mean, there’s a lot of, uh, tracks. I should say. Huh. I, I, I,

[00:23:49] Jason Mantzoukas: I thought she was really, I thought she was great.

[00:23:51] Paul Scheer: I thought she was great.

[00:23:52] Jason Mantzoukas: I didn’t know.

[00:23:53] June Diane Raphael: And I got to say, I’m going to say, I think I’ve said this before, I absolutely love Jennifer Esposito.

[00:23:58] Paul Scheer: I wrote it down. MVP. MVP. In these movies, but she’s great.

[00:24:01] Jason Mantzoukas: She is in so many of our terrible, terrible movies and is so good at them.

[00:24:06] June Diane Raphael: Always so fucking good.

[00:24:08] Paul Scheer: What is so good about her too is like, I feel like she gets it like she gets the movie that she’s in and there’s a moment where she at the end of the movie where she has a crossbow and she literally takes like a pose with it like a chick chick and like like a sexy like a now I’m going to kill you pose, but she like can revel in all those moments and play awesome. Awesome. All right. Like, I feel like.

[00:24:33] Jason Mantzoukas: She’s having fun. She gets what’s happened. She gets what the what movie she’s in. A bunch of people do in this movie. I’m not, you know, but I think she’s doing a Vitamin C too. They’re doing, they’re really there. And Gerry, Gerry Ryan, right?

[00:24:47] June Diane Raphael: Gerry Ryan’s great. The scene where Gerry Ryan gets killed. It’s just so good. I mean, she’s just perfect. Gerry Ryan does say one thing that I took some offense to, which is when she’s attacking Johnny Lee Miller, um, she goes, you ever want to do it with a TV star? And I was like, well, you’re not really a TV star. You’re, you’re a local news reporter. I mean, like, let’s not elevate our, let’s not elevate your position.

[00:25:16] Jason Mantzoukas: You don’t think there was commentary on her role as a as a TV star, you don’t think that was a meta joke?

[00:25:20] Paul Scheer: Oh, I think this is before that maybe, but maybe I’m wrong. I think Voyager is after this, but, um, but, but I’ll say this. Can we just listen to her do her news report?

[00:25:29] Movie Audio: I’m here in a swamp of death tonight for five doomed souls destined for points unknown.

[00:25:34] We have shocking footage of the presumed pilot. Sensitive viewers may want to turn away. He was bizarrely lashed to the yoke with radio cable and bound in twisted pipe. The remaining four victims, as well as an antique silver coffin, were removed to nearby Clark, where a tiny town hall has been transformed into a morgue tonight.

[00:25:54] Paul Scheer: That is like some of the most unprofessional reporting, like, she’s like, swamp of death, flight of death, and she’s like, and, and the way that she describes five bodies, like, it overcrowded the morgue. Really? Five bodies? You got to take it to a a town hall. Like this is New Orleans. I imagine people are dying. Like.

[00:26:15] Jason Mantzoukas: We just, we just saw, um, uh, Lance Hendrickson and, uh, Jean Claude Van Damme rack up quite a lot of bodies.

[00:26:22] Paul Scheer: Yeah. No one was filling up a, a, a county courthouse. By the way, I wanted them to bump into Lance Hendrickson when they ran through that cemetery. I was like, perfect, uh, crossover here.

[00:26:32] Jason Mantzoukas: What they, what they needed was one of those, um, rifles that shoots arrows.

[00:26:36] They, that the, so that they could shoot, um, you know, wooden stakes out of a rifle. That would have been amazing.

[00:26:42] June Diane Raphael: So let me just ask, okay, not to jump to the end, but Mary Van Helsing is part human, part vampire.

[00:26:52] Paul Scheer: So because her dad.

[00:26:55] June Diane Raphael: Right, because her dad had the blood in him.

[00:26:58] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, from the spear that went through Dracula and then into Van Helsing.

[00:27:02] Paul Scheer: So Christopher plummer I mean, I like that capturing again, who’s the man who invents these traps? That trap was pretty amazing. It was like, he’s walking down an alley, but it was all mirrors. Then behind all the mirrors are guys with like, you know, pointy sticks. And, you know, I guess they’re stakes, but they’re not like that.

[00:27:19] Like the contraptions are great. Um, But yeah, so I guess Van Helsing at one point was like, I captured Dracula. Now it’s time for me to to go get laid, have a life. And he does. But has it but then disowns this daughter?

[00:27:32] Jason Mantzoukas: Was this a cut scene that you saw? Now I need to go get laid?

[00:27:35] June Diane Raphael: Disowns his daughter. It’s that his wife finds out and she leaves him.

[00:27:42] Paul Scheer: OK, but why is his wife worried?

[00:27:46] Jason Mantzoukas: Probably because Dracula is in the basement?

[00:27:47] June Diane Raphael: Because her husband’s a vampire? Uh huh.

[00:27:49] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, I don’t think Christopher Plummer’s a vampire. I think he’s, um.

[00:27:55] June Diane Raphael: Well, what is he?

[00:27:55] Paul Scheer: I think he looks young because for his age.

[00:27:59] Jason Mantzoukas: But I think that’s because he’s in, he’s injecting himself with Dracula’s blood. Remember he’s taking the leeches that have been on it.

[00:28:09] Paul Scheer: Oh no, you’re right. I, okay. So I thought the leeches were sucking out his blood to make him not full vampire.

[00:28:14] Jason Mantzoukas: I thought he was using the leeches to suck vampire’s blood out of Dracula. Right, because Dracula is covered with leeches. Then he’s taking those leeches, sucking out the blood in a syringe, putting it into his body to give him long life.

[00:28:29] Paul Scheer: Okay, so then, so then your theory would, going back to what June said earlier, is that he’s down in that coffin quite a lot. Yeah. If he’s getting the leeches off the body.

[00:28:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Like every, I don’t know, like, you know, like, you know, like, how often do you refill a prescription?

[00:28:45] Paul Scheer: Well, I mean, it looks like he had like four containers of leeches underneath that chess set.

[00:28:48] Jason Mantzoukas: He’s got a call. He’s got to call Rite Aid and be like, I need, I need another month of leeches.

[00:28:52] Paul Scheer: Your leeches are in. Please come to pick up your leeches.

[00:28:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Dial 0 for pharmacy.

[00:28:59] June Diane Raphael: I guess I’m still confused about how he’s able to take so much of that blood. Because that’s sort of the way vaccines work, like you take enough that you, that he’s able to live forever, but he doesn’t actually become a vampire.

[00:29:12] Paul Scheer: Oh, I think what it is, is this. He shared blood with Draculia. Uh, he shared blood with him, but his daughter is of the blood, the true mix. Like, it’s almost like somebody put a little bit of blood in his blood, but then when he passed his blood to her, she is made of that blood.

[00:29:33] Jason Mantzoukas: So I think they’re getting benefits, but I, and maybe this is, people are probably screaming at their radios because we’re getting.

[00:29:39] Paul Scheer: They’re like, why am I listening to a podcast on my radio?

[00:29:43] Jason Mantzoukas: Exactly. They’re getting their Dracula. We’re getting Dracula lore mixed up because I don’t know if it makes you a vampire if you just get some of Dracula’s blood inside you, but don’t you have to be bitten?

[00:29:54] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, of course. But that’s what he’s saying. She’s been born.

[00:29:58] Jason Mantzoukas: Van Helsing is never bitten.

[00:29:59] June Diane Raphael: She was born.

[00:30:00] Jason Mantzoukas: No, Van Helsing was never bitten either.

[00:30:02] Paul Scheer: No, but she, but the woman was, but Mary Van Helsing was bitten by Dracula.

[00:30:08] Jason Mantzoukas: In the movie.

[00:30:08] Paul Scheer: And then that’s what makes her Drac part Helsing.

[00:30:15] June Diane Raphael: He says before, the reason why he’s looking for her is because she’s the only one like him who was not bitten, but born. Vampire.

[00:30:26] Paul Scheer: Well, no, no, but he was born as Judas! Surprise, surprise!

[00:30:28] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, he was born as Judas Iscariot, and is somehow, upon Betraying Christ and hanging himself. He is reborn as an immortal.

[00:30:38] Paul Scheer: Question about this.

[00:30:40] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, that I don’t. Yeah.

[00:30:41] Paul Scheer: Okay. So the idea being in my remembrance of Catholic school and going to church and all this sort of stuff and June, I know that you have the, you know, a similar background of church. So let’s put it together. My thought was that Judas betrays Jesus feels so guilty about it that he kills himself. In this movie posits and then he’s like, fuck that now. I hate this guy like it takes away the remorse element of judas like is wanting forgiveness He feels so badly that that’s why he commits suicide, but then he comes back on like, oh, I hate the bible and I hate gold because it reminds me of Jesus who betrayed me. It feels like it’s it’s almost like jesus did this

[00:31:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, no, I don’t no. No, I don’t think it’s that Jesus did this. I think that I think that he is Um, he is yeah, he is reborn to live in misery. He’s he’s now suffering and he blames he blames God and, and obviously Christ for his, like, eons of suffering.

[00:31:47] Paul Scheer: So basically, like, Jesus was, like, so in the movie, guys, what I’m saying is, like, is the movie positing that God is watching over this and is like, You fucked over my son for 20 pieces of silver, so you know what? You’re gonna become a motherfuckin vampire. Like, and like, it’s like a vengeful god.

[00:32:06] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, I remember at the beginning of the movie, Johnny Lee Miller comes in and he says.

[00:32:11] June Diane Raphael: Oh yeah, he reads that thing, yeah.

[00:32:12] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, he reads a thing that says, you know, the, the, the crown, blah, blah, blah, falling off the blah, blah, blah. And Christopher Plummer correct, corrects him and says, Actually, it’s Halo. And I think what it’s, I think what we’re meant to believe maybe is that this is a little bit of a fallen angel story.

[00:32:27] June Diane Raphael: Which, by the way, to my understanding, and I’m sure so many people are screaming at their radios.

[00:32:33] Paul Scheer: I mean, some people are looking at their phonograph player, and they’re going like, Ah!

[00:32:37] Jason Mantzoukas: They’ve tuned us in on AM, on 1010 Winds, where we air, where we simulcast.

[00:32:42] Paul Scheer: If we can look at our audience right now, their heads are all cocking like that dog, going like, where is that sound coming out of that megaphone on the top of that phonograph?

[00:32:52] Jason Mantzoukas: I know you’re listening to us on a wax cylinder.

[00:32:54] Paul Scheer: That’s the shirt. How did this get made? Victrola symbol.

[00:32:58] June Diane Raphael: As far as I know, for and for all the families gathered around the radio right now, as far as I know, this is a brand new kind of take on how Dracula became Dracula.

[00:33:10] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:33:10] Jason Mantzoukas: Seems like it. Yeah, because past seems.

[00:33:12] June Diane Raphael: Okay, so thank you.

[00:33:13] Jason Mantzoukas: In the past we’ve understood him I believe, I believe he’s vla, been Vlad the Impaler. Yes. That’s who we understand to be modern day Dracula is.

[00:33:21] Paul Scheer: So look Graham, but going back stroker oh, sorry. In Bram Stoker’s novel.

[00:33:26] Jason Mantzoukas: In Bam Margera’s novel.

[00:33:29] Paul Scheer: What happens is Johnny Knoxville kicks him so hard in the balls that he grows vampire teeth.

[00:33:33] Jason Mantzoukas: Hey, it’s me, Bam Stoker. I’m getting kicked in the balls by Dracula.

[00:33:42] Paul Scheer: So in, in the novel, he used black magic to turn himself into a vampire. Uh, but he did it out of eternal love for his bride who he’d meet again when she was reincarnated. Uh, so that, yeah. But then, uh, yeah, so I don’t know.

[00:33:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, so inside of the Dracula narrative, reincarnation exists. That’s interesting as well.

[00:34:02] Paul Scheer: Yeah. I mean, there’s a lot of.

[00:34:04] Jason Mantzoukas: But this, this movie is the first time I’ve ever experienced the idea that Dracula is Judas.

[00:34:10] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:34:10] Jason Mantzoukas: Who is meant to, I guess, meant to, uh, live for all eternity, uh, in, in regret for the actions he did by killing God’s son.

[00:34:19] Paul Scheer: It seems like if you come back as Dracula, and you’re just like, can control everything. You can make mist, do what you want. Every person that you’re attracted to is like under your command. Like it seems like you can.

[00:34:30] Jason Mantzoukas: Turn into a wolf. You can turn into bats. It’s, it’s pretty rad.

[00:34:33] Paul Scheer: Yeah.

[00:34:33] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. It’s a great life. It’s a great life. You know? And it’s also like very fluid, sexual, you know, women, men, men, biting men, women, biting women. It’s all, you know, it’s. It’s all happening.

[00:34:51] Jason Mantzoukas: Are you, I’m curious, are you guys vampire, like, were you, did you read the Anne Rice books? Were you, like, when, or any of the kind of, cause vampires have had multiple, just in our lifetimes, multiple periods of incredible popularity.

[00:35:07] Paul Scheer: The only, the only vampire movie I’ve ever seen. is Leslie Nielsen’s, uh, Dracula Dead and Loving It. Of course. Uh, and that, you know, that is really where I began and end. And, and nothing really tops it there as far as scary, fun, spooky, sexy.

[00:35:21] June Diane Raphael: Um, I mean, yeah. I, I I did enjoy the Twilight.

[00:35:26] Paul Scheer: We did it on the show. I like them.

[00:35:28] June Diane Raphael: Oh yeah, yeah, right. I was like, when did we watch them?

[00:35:30] Jason Mantzoukas: Apparently the interview with a vampire series that’s happening right now is pretty good.

[00:35:35] June Diane Raphael: That’s supposed to be incredible. I can’t wait to see it.

[00:35:37] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, so, I don’t know. And I’m not a, I’m not a, I’m not a vampire or, or really a horror fan. I’m not a vampire. I was going to say a vampire fan. But, um, but I’ve heard from multiple people that that show is great.

[00:35:48] June Diane Raphael: Here’s where I was disappointed. I I’m interested in the world and some of the themes, etc. I think are super interesting. And the women, the sexuality, all of that. I’m like, yeah, the men, the sort of homosexuality piece of it. It’s all, I think it’s a really cool world. I was so bummed that the teeth looked the way they did because.

[00:36:12] Jason Mantzoukas: And made people sound bad.

[00:36:14] June Diane Raphael: It made people sound bad, but it’s also just like, okay, like this is, I honestly feel like if I went to the Halloween store right now, I could find something that was better and more visually interesting than what they were wearing in this.

[00:36:30] Jason Mantzoukas: As teeth. Yeah. Right.

[00:36:31] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.

[00:36:32] Jason Mantzoukas: No, I agree.

[00:36:33] June Diane Raphael: Flippers. They were ridiculous.

[00:36:35] Jason Mantzoukas: They were ridiculous. And because they were practical, they looked out of play. They looked like they were filling people’s mouths.

[00:36:41] June Diane Raphael: They were too white.

[00:36:42] Jason Mantzoukas: Their speech was all. Yeah.

[00:36:43] Paul Scheer: But it’s also like, did vampires evolve? Because in the cave or safe, whatever you want to call it, safe tomb, whatever it is, they find some skulls, which Omar Epps immediately destroys, which is just a gross, uh, you know, just a terrible way to just treat a dead body. But he, but all the vampire teeth were the front two teeth. Almost like a bug’s bunny.

[00:37:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Like they had different teeth. There were different ones in different places because they all had different species. Okay. There’s different species of vampires. I do know that from comics. Yeah. Um, some are like the Nosferatu, which Christopher Plummer says, which is the front two. Some are like the fangs, traditional, like spread, uh, whatever the canines or whatever these are.

[00:37:23] Paul Scheer: Yeah.

[00:37:23] Jason Mantzoukas: Um. Anyway, uh, but yeah, no, and those, by the way, vampire skulls, you know how expensive, you know how valuable those would be? Come on.

[00:37:31] June Diane Raphael: Honestly, run in there, take those, and run.

[00:37:33] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s the treasure. That’s the treasure, yeah.

[00:37:35] June Diane Raphael: Absolutely.

[00:37:36] Paul Scheer: I mean, I kind of found these teeth to be, besides the fact that I’m pretty positive Gerard Butler isn’t completely dubbed the entire film because clearly whatever they got with those teeth in was not working or being sexy. Like, I feel like it really was crowding his mouth. I found them to be, uh.

[00:37:57] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s a, that’s a t shirt crowded mouth.

[00:37:59] Paul Scheer: Crowded mouth. Now, uh, like, but like the, the idea of like, I don’t know, they felt really sharp and like, they, they felt like they were doing the job right. Like, I, like, it didn’t, it felt like the teeth were there for the right reasons, not for show, but maybe you’re wrong. Maybe you guys think, I mean, you guys don’t like these teeth.

[00:38:17] I thought the teeth looked actually very like razor, like, like, Ooh, that would really Cut into me. I felt like there was a lot of like, I don’t know. I don’t know.

[00:38:25] Jason Mantzoukas: I felt like, boy, I would have liked it if the teeth were, and maybe this goes against the kind of inherent, uh, sexiness of the movie or, or however you want to look at it.

[00:38:36] But I felt like to June’s point, like kind of too white and too big. And I was like, Oh, there’s something that would make it scarier to me if his teeth were like sharp and yellow and look.

[00:38:46] Paul Scheer: Oh yeah. They’re not yellow. They’re like white strips. Yeah.

[00:38:49] Jason Mantzoukas: They, you know, like he, and I get it. He’s by sucking the blood out of the bad guys on the plane. He is, he’s goes from a withered husk of, of a man into youthful Gerard Butler. So I understand the reasoning, but it’s just not as scary, but he remains then super sexy, which I think is what the movie wants. And by the way, because everywhere he goes, everybody’s like, Oh my God, look at this hunk.

[00:39:12] Paul Scheer: But that’s Dracula’s mind trickery. Like that’s.

[00:39:16] Jason Mantzoukas: Not always. Oh, not always. I don’t think he tricks Lucy in the Virgin Megastore.

[00:39:20] Paul Scheer: Oh, I think it’s like he’s exuding this, like.

[00:39:23] Jason Mantzoukas: You think he’s, what is it called? Glamoring?

[00:39:25] June Diane Raphael: I think that, yeah, he’s put her under his spell.

[00:39:28] Jason Mantzoukas: Under his spell?

[00:39:28] Paul Scheer: I think anyone who comes in contact, I think he’s almost exuding it like, um, like a bug zapper or like, you know, it’s like, it’s out, like he can’t, yeah.

[00:39:36] Jason Mantzoukas: Like a bug zapper?

[00:39:39] Paul Scheer: Like you know, there’s some energy.

[00:39:40] Jason Mantzoukas: He’s exuding it like a bug zapper?

[00:39:41] Paul Scheer: You know what? Like a citronella candle. That’s what I would say. A citronella candle is a better idea.

[00:39:46] Jason Mantzoukas: He’s exuding sexuality like a bug zapper. Man, you ever look at a bug zapper and you’re like, that’s so hot.

[00:39:52] Paul Scheer: Well, if I’m a mosquito, I do. Cause I’m like, Oh, I got to get in there. I got to get in there. Jennifer Esposito.

[00:39:58] Jason Mantzoukas: You’re actually right, Paul. It is like a bug zapper. It draws you in, it draws you in and you get zapped.

[00:40:04] Paul Scheer: That’s it.

[00:40:08] The other thing about it though too was like so did you understand what happened and maybe this is a moment where Paul you’re not Paying enough attention, but where? our hero, mary goes to bite Johnny Lee Miller and then Like, she’s tricking him, right, to get the upper hand, but then when they do the flashback, I got, okay, she’s tricking him here, but then when they do the flashback to the scene that just happened two seconds before, I’m like, where did the blood come from?

[00:40:36] She bit her own lip?

[00:40:36] Jason Mantzoukas: She bit her own lip. You see her do one of these.

[00:40:40] Paul Scheer: Okay. Okay.

[00:40:42] Jason Mantzoukas: With her little, with her new fangs.

[00:40:43] Paul Scheer: Uh, okay.

[00:40:44] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, she bites her own lips.

[00:40:45] Paul Scheer: But wouldn’t her lip be bleeding profusely at that point too?

[00:40:50] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, I think there is blood on her. Oh, got it. Okay. There’s blood on her and on him because that’s, and that’s why it looks like she did do it.

[00:40:57] Paul Scheer: Okay. Okay. It’s a messy way to be, but I get it now. I get it.

[00:41:00] June Diane Raphael: What I couldn’t understand actually, and you might say June, you weren’t paying enough attention. But. I feel like a lot of the movie, we are instructed over and over, and the rules are laid out on how these vampires can be killed, and And we also know that Dracula cannot be killed. The way that she kills him, was that set up so he can be killed? He’s pretty much, um, hanging by the cross.

[00:41:30] Jason Mantzoukas: In the sun.

[00:41:32] June Diane Raphael: Oh, is that what it was?

[00:41:33] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, I think he lights on fire because the sun comes up and starts hitting him.

[00:41:38] June Diane Raphael: He’s not killed by, by the, the, the wire she put around him when she jumps up.

[00:41:44] Paul Scheer: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think, no, I think it’s twofold because if it’s just sunlight, then or then Christopher Plummer is a complete fucking idiot. Like just put them in sunlight, right? Like, I think it had.

[00:41:56] June Diane Raphael: You created all that stuff in that room. Put a fucking sunroof in there.

[00:42:00] Paul Scheer: Yeah, well, I think the idea was. He needed to be hung again because in this movie the chord snapped.

[00:42:08] June Diane Raphael: That’s what I think is right.

[00:42:08] Paul Scheer: Right. So he was saved. Now Jesus, on that neon cross is holding him. And I mean, because she did say we take the body back. She took the body back. The last, the movie.

[00:42:20] Jason Mantzoukas: The Ashes. Right? She’s she, she has the ashes.

[00:42:22] Paul Scheer: The ashes. I mean, that was. High up the building going around New Orleans.

[00:42:26] Jason Mantzoukas: And does the end of the movie, doesn’t the end of the movie suggest that he’s kind of back a little?

[00:42:31] Paul Scheer: She’s back because she’s seeing him. She’s seeing him trapped in the coffin like always.

[00:42:37] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay. Okay. So, I mean, the movie would have you believe he isn’t dead. He can’t be killed. He will somehow reconstitute in a sequel?

[00:42:44] Paul Scheer: Well, yes. Well, there were two direct to DVD sequels.

[00:42:47] Jason Mantzoukas: What?

[00:42:47] Paul Scheer: Oh, yeah, yeah. There were, um, there were two. It was, uh, let’s see.

[00:42:51] Jason Mantzoukas: Is one of them called never Fuck With An Antiques Dealer 2?

[00:42:54] Paul Scheer: No, it’s like, you know. Ha ha ha ha. Dracula 2000 was followed by two direct to video sequels, Ascension in 2003 and Legacy in 2005.

[00:43:03] Uh, same, uh Uh, team co wrote all three films and created a plot to a fourth film and discussed releasing it theatrically, but no film has been produced. Um, now I’ve, I say that, uh, because I also want to say that the people that are responsible for this film are, uh, Patrick, uh, Lucier, uh, and, uh, Joel Swanson.

[00:43:25] Now the movie is called Wes Craven presents Dracula 2000. Does not seem that Wes Craven is involved in this, in any way, this was a Dimensions film, uh, Weinstein brothers production. And this is the, this is the thing that I love about this. Clearly they made Scream. So they have a relationship with Wes Craven and I’m sure they gave him a shit load of money to say pop your name on this just to give us something, because this is, uh, Scott Derrickson who, uh, you know, just did, uh, Black Phone, uh, he.

[00:44:00] Jason Mantzoukas: Didn’t he do Doctor Strange? The first Doctor Strange?

[00:44:02] Paul Scheer: Did the first one, yeah.

[00:44:03] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay, yeah.

[00:44:04] Paul Scheer: So, he said that, uh, he got a call, and they’re like, Hey, I just bought this script called Dracula 2000. And he goes, Oh yeah? Is it good? And he goes, and Weinstein replies, No, it stinks. And he goes, Well, why did you buy it? And he goes, Because it’s called Dracula 2000.

[00:44:20] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow.

[00:44:21] Paul Scheer: And that was, that was the, uh.

[00:44:24] Jason Mantzoukas: And then Scott Derrickson said, I’m in?

[00:44:26] Paul Scheer: Uh, that was, and so he wrote it, then Aaron Kruger rewrote it, and then these guys came on and, uh, and, and they, and then they took it home.

[00:44:36] Uh, so, I mean, it’s, it’s interesting that they just liked, huh, 2000.

[00:44:40] Jason Mantzoukas: The title.

[00:44:42] Paul Scheer: Like that title isn’t even worth that much. Um, but here’s what I’ll say about his, the ending. So I guess what they’re saying is he asks for forgiveness to God. So that is, I think how he could get killed. If he asks for forgiveness, then he can be destroyed.

[00:45:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Why does he do, why does he do it in this moment? I wonder, cause I don’t particular, nothing happened at the end of the movie that made me feel as though I was watching Judas reckon with the now thousands of years of, of what he’s done and feel as though he needs to make things right with God.

[00:45:23] June Diane Raphael: Molly was saying in the chat, like, so Judas betrays. Yeah. Judas betrays Jesus for silver, but like we don’t ever get the sense that Dracula in this version is greedy or wrestling with like the, the greed that Judas wrestled with. So. It’s the, these things are so disconnected.

[00:45:47] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah. It felt to me like, uh, wouldn’t it be cool, wouldn’t it be cool if we made him Judas instead of it being this, the, you know, the traditional kind of Vlad the Impaler. What if we made, what if we went all the way back and made him, when they cut to the Last Supper, I was like, wow.

[00:46:05] Paul Scheer: Oh, and they’re cutting, and they’re cutting to the Last Supper, the way that you would do it. The way that you would do it at a high school play like when he is hanging on that tree It’s like red lights lone tree.

[00:46:14] It was like he’s staring at jesus up on the cross. It is a wild, wild.

[00:46:19] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, it’s nonsense

[00:46:22] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, I mean when I realized he’s Judas. It was really quite a moment you guys.

[00:46:26] Movie Audio: Judas Iscariot. The cross, the silver, all the things you came to despise.

[00:46:42] ‘Cause you needed me. Now I drink the blood of your children.

[00:47:04] Paul Scheer: That wasn’t, and just to see Gerard Butler in that time. I mean, that’s where I was like, this movie is going for it, but do we need any of this? Do we need?

[00:47:12] Jason Mantzoukas: They quote the, they quote it and Molly just put it in the, in the chat as well, but they, the line that they quote is blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, which is, which is the, you know, the, the, the, what you say on the, when you’re eating and drinking.

[00:47:29] Paul Scheer: The communion wafer.

[00:47:31] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, exactly. When you’re getting communion. When you’re receiving communion.

[00:47:34] June Diane Raphael: Yes, but the idea is not that Jesus actually made them drink his blood. It’s that he turned

[00:47:40] Jason Mantzoukas: This is like actually a part of where the church splits. Is people who believe that they were drinking something that was the actual blood and body and eating the body of Christ. And something that just was a stand in for. So this is like, yeah, yeah. It’s all blood, baby.

[00:47:57] June Diane Raphael: All blood!

[00:47:58] Paul Scheer: Gotta get that blood! Slurp, slurp! Get that blood, blood, blood!

[00:48:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Drink, drink!

[00:48:02] June Diane Raphael: I want the real stuff!

[00:48:03] Jason Mantzoukas: Give me that savior’s blood!

[00:48:05] Paul Scheer: Oh my god. By the way, what did you think the conversation was like? Virgin mega store, we got a great, we got a great tie in here.

[00:48:14] June Diane Raphael: Oh my god. That actually, more than anything about this time period, It was actually so great to see it because I was like, Oh man, it was a return to see the space and layout of it. I was like, Whoa, I.

[00:48:28] Jason Mantzoukas: I remember like the Union Square, there was a Virgin in Union Square that you could.

[00:48:34] Paul Scheer: You could go in there and listen to CDs. Cause you could put on the headphones and play the album, just sit there. And I was like.

[00:48:39] Jason Mantzoukas: I remember wasting so much time. Yeah.

[00:48:42] June Diane Raphael: Oh my God, it was just, um, it was such a scene.

[00:48:44] Jason Mantzoukas: Do you think that they chose the Virgin Megastore because it suggested virginity? And that that is like, that’s a big thing in vampire kind of lore?

[00:48:54] Paul Scheer: Well, you know what? I gotta say that I think you’re right because this movie is full of like hidden Easter eggs. Like, there’s a lot. The name of Van Helsing’s antique business is Carfax Abbey, which is the name of the house that Dracula moves into.

[00:49:05] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, Carfax?

[00:49:07] Paul Scheer: Carfax Carfax

[00:49:08] June Diane Raphael: Carfax. com?

[00:49:08] Paul Scheer: Yeah.

[00:49:12] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, isn’t that a Marcus Limonis company?

[00:49:14] Paul Scheer: I don’t think Carfax is.

[00:49:15] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, it’s one of the other ones?

[00:49:16] Paul Scheer: But maybe it’s like, but Carfax, like, if you bring us a antique, uh, antique arrow, we’ll tell you how much it costs.

[00:49:23] June Diane Raphael: All of Marcus Lemonis’s companies, they should all really advertise on this podcast.

[00:49:28] Paul Scheer: I mean, by the way, he’s asked to be on the show and we’d love to have him on the show. We just haven’t figured it out.

[00:49:31] June Diane Raphael: Sweet treats, all of it. Um, the metal letters hanging on the wall at the top of Mary’s house are L R U C E, which if you rearrange them spell cruel. Oh, and uh, when Dr. Seward says the line, I never drink coffee. There’s a lot of like, a lot of Easter eggs here in this movie.

[00:49:52] Like about like going back to the roots of the original story. Uh, you know, so that, you know, that there’s a lot, there’s a lot to unpack, but I do think that like virgin, like this movie feels like everyone was like, this is cool. Like so much so that the title Dracula 2000, they were racing to get it out because they needed to, to come out in 2000 and like, they just, like they started too late.

[00:50:14] They started in the summer. So they only had a couple of months to get the whole thing done. So like, but this movie. Oddly, even though it’s called Dracula 2000, Virgin Megastore is the only detail that really lines it up with, Oh, this is an older movie.

[00:50:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Everything else in time.

[00:50:30] Paul Scheer: Yeah, nothing else in it is.

[00:50:33] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, there is. There’s no other product placement. There’s no other, but, but virgin is the word. Virgin is constantly appearing because they’re wearing t shirts that say virgin. They’re like, it’s, it’s very prominent, uh, in that regard.

[00:50:47] Paul Scheer: Yeah. She literally sleeps in her work shirt as a pajama shirt. It’s not like she fell asleep in her work shirt. She’s like, well, it’s so comfortable at work. I’ll wear it at home. And then the virgin, you know, Richard Branson’s like, I love that. I love that kind. It’s surprising that Richard Branson didn’t have like a bug zapper off with Dracula. Like they both get there and like, Oh, you’re sexy. Well, you’re sexy. And they high five and Branson walks.

[00:51:09] Jason Mantzoukas: What’s kind of crazy in this whole movie is that, like, even though the movie takes, the second half of the movie takes place in incredibly crowded Mardi Gras, New Orleans, um, the first half in London, and yet, and, and, and the murders are, they’re racking up so many murders throughout, there is no law enforcement presence.

[00:51:32] Paul Scheer: That’s the same thing we say in Hard Target.. New Orleans doesn’t care about those dead bodies.

[00:51:35] June Diane Raphael: And most of those people do end up becoming vampires.

[00:51:40] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s true. But where are all the police who are like, where are all the bodies that we put in that, in that place?

[00:51:48] June Diane Raphael: That’s true. Well, the morgue is so full.

[00:51:51] Paul Scheer: The morgue is full of bodies. These cops have, I mean, we saw it happen in Hard Target. There’s a lot of, they’re on strike again. The cops are on strike. I think at the same strike, it ties the.

[00:51:59] Jason Mantzoukas: Strike. Also, people, nobody’s reporting on the fact that local news superstar, Gerry Ryan, has gone missing and that her cameraman, he got chomped.

[00:52:09] Paul Scheer: She’s still doing news. That’s the thing. She’s still showing up to her shifts.

[00:52:13] Jason Mantzoukas: It would be amazing if she was broadcasting. If she did a, if she did a standing piece on the street as a vampire, that would have been amazing.

[00:52:20] Paul Scheer: Well, by the way, if, if I said I was upset when she said a TV star and Jason, you actually were right. Voyager ended in 2001. So she was a TV star. But I do think she was like breaking news. You’re dead. You know, like, that would’ve been great. I would’ve liked something like that. You know? Let’s play it to the character. Uh, well, clearly we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there that had different opinions in our time for Second Opinions.

[00:52:43] Music: [Second Opinions Song] [00:52:58] Paul Scheer: These are, uh, five star reviews. Pulled from Amazon, 62 percent of reviews are five stars. 62%? Yes.

[00:53:07] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.

[00:53:08] Paul Scheer: Well, what do you say, June?

[00:53:09] June Diane Raphael: Well, no, I was going to say, like, I did find this movie to be very watchable. I think a part of, a large part of that was because of Jennifer Esposito and just like wanting to watch her on screen. But and also, like, I just think it’s, it’s, It’s watchable, it’s, it’s not very good, but it, I thought it went down pretty smoothly.

[00:53:31] Jason Mantzoukas: I feel like people, and maybe this is just because of the world, I think people are a lot more forgiving of horror movies.

[00:53:38] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:53:39] Jason Mantzoukas: In terms of like, oh, maybe the plot doesn’t add up or whatever, but, but it was fun or scary or thrilling or it had the, you know, whatever, you know. Whatever people want from these movies, I think if they get it a little bit, they’re like, Great, I loved it.

[00:53:52] Paul Scheer: I, I, but this is my issue with this movie, on a, on a, on a base level. I think the performances are good, I think there’s some really fun ideas in here, but it’s not scary. It’s like the Minions, the new Minions movie, Rise of Gru. Like, the other Minions movies are fun. funny. This one is like.

[00:54:07] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, this is like the Minions. This is a comparison I was not expecting.

[00:54:11] Paul Scheer: I mean, bug zapping and minions.

[00:54:13] June Diane Raphael: Maybe a million times.

[00:54:14] Paul Scheer: I guess it feels adjacent to like The Minions Rise of Gru feels like, Oh yeah, this is trying like, it’s not even trying. It’s like, Oh yeah, that’s a comedy.

[00:54:23] Jason Mantzoukas: I just feel like you’re promoting the movie.

[00:54:25] June Diane Raphael: You have to understand Jason. So Minions Rise of Gru is on our, uh.

[00:54:31] Paul Scheer: So much. We watched it.

[00:54:31] June Diane Raphael: In our car on our Chrysler Pacific minivan, Pacific minivan. And, you know, the kids are watching it almost every time we get in the car. So from here on out, everything is going to be in relation to Minions Rise of Gru.

[00:54:46] Like it’s either like Minions Rise of Gru or not like Minions Rise of Gru.

[00:54:50] Paul Scheer: But what I find about Minions What I find about Minions Rise of Gru is, it truly is, it’s the way to kill vampires is through showing the Minions Rise of Gru, but the thing that I think about when I listen to that movie every day is, it’s not bad, but it’s not funny.

[00:55:08] It kind of has a plot, but nothing that I really care about. And what’s the story? Not much. And it’s like, that’s what this movie is like. There’s no real scares. It’s like no jump scares. The horror isn’t like.

[00:55:19] June Diane Raphael: I had a couple jump scares when he first popped out.

[00:55:22] Jason Mantzoukas: A couple.

[00:55:23] Paul Scheer: The leech in the face?

[00:55:24] Jason Mantzoukas: They’re not, it’s really, it’s not a, um, It’s not scary. It’s more, maybe it’s more of a, I guess it’s a monstery, Thriller y movie.

[00:55:32] Paul Scheer: No, I think it’s a horror movie, but it’s like. I guess. It’s light. Sort of. It’s light.

[00:55:37] June Diane Raphael: It’s light.

[00:55:37] Paul Scheer: To me, the thing that I, what I was most intrigued by in June, you didn’t even get to really experience it the way I did, which is like going, is that Gerard Butler? How is that Gerard Butler?

[00:55:46] June Diane Raphael: That was the spookiest part. Talk about spooky season. I was like, I, I, Every time I came close to thinking it was Gerard Butler, I was then confident it wasn’t.

[00:55:57] Paul Scheer: It was like he was edging us the entire movie.

[00:55:59] June Diane Raphael: It really was. It was a crazy experience.

[00:56:04] Paul Scheer: All right, yeah.

[00:56:06] Jason Mantzoukas: It was, it’s not, yeah, it’s tough, but I will say it is very slick to June’s point of it going down smooth.

[00:56:13] Paul Scheer: Yes.

[00:56:14] Jason Mantzoukas: It’s very slick and it’s not like, you know, they shot clearly during Mardi Gras. Like there’s a ton of like visual stimuli in the movie that is pretty good. You know, like it’s, it’s, it’s well done in that regard, but it’s like, I couldn’t make heads or tails of, Who am I rooting for? Whose story is this?

[00:56:34] Do it, when, are we getting closer or further from the goal of any protagonist? And I didn’t know. There’s a couple of very blunt exposition dumps that come very late in the movie. So even then, you’re like, you spend the first 50 minutes of the movie being like, Who is everybody and what is their relationship?

[00:56:54] June Diane Raphael: I also love the idea that, you know, from their apartment, from, Mary’s apartment, like the idea that if you live in New Orleans, you automatically have Mardi Gras masks up.

[00:57:04] Paul Scheer: Oh yeah. You’re like.

[00:57:05] June Diane Raphael: She had several in that bedroom.

[00:57:07] Paul Scheer: Well, you never know when it’s going to happen. You got to come run down. It’s like an umbrella. If you live in London, you need it by the door.

[00:57:12] June Diane Raphael: Who actually lives in New Orleans seems to just like detest Mardi Gras.

[00:57:16] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh yeah. To be like, we got to get out of town.

[00:57:18] June Diane Raphael: Totally different way than like what tourists do there. Yeah.

[00:57:21] Paul Scheer: Yeah. It’s a bit, it’s not there just to get fucked up. The, the thing I think about this movie.

[00:57:26] To your point about it being slick is, I like a movie like this, where I watch it, I was like, oh, this is fun, and it’s, you know, and they’ve got some weird stuff, but I enjoyed it, and then when you leave, it all falls apart, that to me is a trick, that I’m like, oh yeah, this doesn’t really make sense if you think about it, but I enjoyed it.

[00:57:43] Good editing, and this director was a former editor, edited all the Scream movies, the first three. Like, I think that there is a pacing to it, it’s like, don’t worry about it, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, and it’s enough that you, you know, it’s like.

[00:57:53] Jason Mantzoukas: You’re right, they don’t let you, nothing sticks, no scenes linger too long, Nothing sticks around long enough for you to start to poke holes in it, They’re just like, on to the next visual, overwhelming visual stimuli on to the next, you know, boom, boom, boom.

[00:58:07] June Diane Raphael: I’m just sort of like trying to figure out the Judas piece. And then all of a sudden he’s like hanging off of the, a crucifix.

[00:58:14] Jason Mantzoukas: I mean, I loved the part where they’re Johnny Lee Miller and, um, Mary Van Helsing find themselves in a lot in a, is it a church library? Where are they? And then he’s got a giant Bible that he tries to threaten Dracula with, and then he uses the Bible like a gun where he opens it wide and it shoots pages out.

[00:58:34] Paul Scheer: Like, like, like a fire bullet. It’s like, what? Like, like the, like the Bible.

[00:58:38] Jason Mantzoukas: Pages of the Bible are bullets of fire to Dracula. I was like, well, how does Johnny, keep in mind, Johnny Lee Miller. For his, he starts as the assistant antiquities dealer, the antiquities buyer. Yeah, he’s not a van Helsing. He’s not a monster hunter.

[00:58:54] He’s not a monster guy. All of the, maybe the movie should be from his point of view. What the fuck is this world? I just stumbled, but it’s not.

[00:59:01] Paul Scheer: He literally goes from, Hey, this is a world with vampires. And shit’s going down to like killing immediately and then being like, now I’m just on this tear. Now I’m like, yeah, now I’m a fucking full on assassin. He doesn’t seem to have any background of killing or anything. He, although he, he.

[00:59:18] Jason Mantzoukas: Also gets beat up savagely repeatedly and never has a mark on him. It never has a limp, very strong. Oh, uh, Dracula, Gerard Butler, Omar Epps. Once he’s a vampire. Multiple vampires with full strength toss him around like a ragdoll, and he is fine.

[00:59:38] Paul Scheer: And I mean, look, they toss Christopher Plummer around too, I mean, and he gets up a couple times, because I guess maybe he’s running out, but you see, why is he running out of Dracula blood? Because he just shot himself up that night, he seems like he got on a plane the next day, and he’s like automatically super old.

[00:59:53] Jason Mantzoukas: I don’t know how much he has to, I don’t know what his habit is.

[00:59:55] Paul Scheer: Okay. That’s smart. Okay. Well, we’ll check it out.

[00:59:58] Jason Mantzoukas: I don’t know what his dosage is. I don’t know. I don’t know what the doctor recommended.

[01:00:01] Paul Scheer: Which then goes down to that. The fact that he’s down in there getting those leeches off him a lot.

[01:00:05] All right. So these are five star reviews. There’s not many great ones, uh, but they were kind of picked out here. And I will read you this one from Rick. Um.

[01:00:14] “I forgot how awesome this movie was. It’s a new take on Dracula. I only wish it wasn’t called Dracula. Because I enjoyed the humor, action, and characters. Five stars.”

[01:00:26] So your slam is, you don’t like that, you like the Dracula movie, but don’t like that it’s called Dracula. Because, okay, alright, Mardi Gras party time, I don’t know what it should be called, like, Uninvited Guest? Like, I don’t know.

[01:00:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Ooh, uninvited Guest, I like that. Although, they did maintain the idea that he needed to be invited in to Vitamin C’s house.

[01:00:54] Paul Scheer: Oh, right, they did have that. Okay, that’s good. I forgot about that. Um, and then this one is from, uh, Rachel. She writes,

[01:00:59] “I’m taking a college English class on Dracula, and we had to watch this for class. This is my favorite depiction of Dracula that I’ve seen so far. Really interesting movie to watch, especially if you’ve read the book. Five stars. Read Bram Stoker’s novel for the first time for a better experience.”

[01:01:18] So this person’s saying, This is the most accurate representation of Dracula.

[01:01:21] Jason Mantzoukas: This is hashtag, this person’s Dracula.

[01:01:25] Paul Scheer: And then, uh, Suzy Herring writes,

[01:01:27] “I like this movie too. A good vampire movie to watch because many of us wanted to be a vampire. Or dress like a vampire on Halloween. But I love vampires. A lot. Five stars.”

[01:01:39] Title, Vampire Bite.

[01:01:41] Jason Mantzoukas: Ha.

[01:01:43] Paul Scheer: And then this is my the one I end.

[01:01:45] Jason Mantzoukas: I love that. It’s, I love that. I love the admission of, like, many of us wanted to be a vampire, like the, I, you know, like people seeking out all the vampire movies just because they so badly want to be a vampire.

[01:01:56] Paul Scheer: They just need it. And this one right here was, uh, one that I thought was really special. It, it should have been a five star review, but something went terribly wrong from Cyber Ghost 13. Uh.

[01:02:05] “This is a great movie. But I only rate it one star because it’s not in the original aspect ratio, one star.”

[01:02:16] June Diane Raphael: How do they know that?

[01:02:18] Jason Mantzoukas: So that whatever transfer, whatever version they watched?

[01:02:20] Paul Scheer: Yep. And then, and then this is a true one star review, which, uh, no, uh, from Arlene, the title of the review is “Should never have ordered this.” Written on January 2nd, 2021.

[01:02:36] “I am a born again, Christian, not an appropriate movie, period. One star.”

[01:02:43] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s it? I like what led to this person getting renting and what.

[01:02:49] Paul Scheer: I also, I’m also just like, don’t watch it’s called Dracula. Look, the other guy’s issue of it being called Dracula 2000 would maybe like, as a born again, Christian, you might, Oh, I guess because of the Judas. Maybe that’s what it is. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the Judas tie.

[01:03:01] Jason Mantzoukas: And maybe they didn’t, maybe they didn’t, maybe they were okay watching a Dracula movie, but because it became a Judas, maybe because of the, that it turned into a blasphemous story,

[01:03:12] Paul Scheer: Judas is too sexy. Uh, I know we’ve already kind of talked about it, but. Would we recommend this movie? Would you recommend this movie or, or did the discord do a good job at picking us a good movie?

[01:03:22] Jason Mantzoukas: I don’t think so, discord. I think you blew it. Not that I, you know, it was totally fine. You know, it’s, I think if, if it’s up to you, if it’s up to you, the discord and you have the kind of power to make us watch literally anything, especially inside of this, the spookiest of seasons, this, like, this is, I would say pretty benign in terms of a.

[01:03:45] You know, it’s fine. It’s got some of our favorites in it, which I love, but, uh, it was it, it was it like, was I like, Oh, I can’t wait to talk about this. Not exactly. It was just kind of like, it was good, you know? So it was fine. Some, some stuff, but nothing, I don’t know. I think the business, I think that discord. Raise your game, Discord, come on.

[01:04:03] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, discord, do better. You know, I was fine actually watching this movie and I thought this was a fine choice for us. But now that I know that this movie was nominated by the Discord community, I’m like, Oh, I’m a little disappointed in retrospect.

[01:04:20] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah.

[01:04:20] June Diane Raphael: Like this is the best you got?

[01:04:21] Jason Mantzoukas: Is this the best you got? Wow, that is a direct challenge from June to the Discord.

[01:04:26] Paul Scheer: I mean, you guys are, our Discord is amazing.

[01:04:28] Jason Mantzoukas: Cut to next, cut to next October and we’re watching all of the Human Centipedes.

[01:04:32] Paul Scheer: Uh, I think that was on the list as a matter of fact.

[01:04:34] June Diane Raphael: I’ll never do it.

[01:04:36] Paul Scheer: Look, I think Discord understands that we love Gerard Butler, uh, and, and, and I think that, and, you know.

[01:04:43] Jason Mantzoukas: And Jennifer Esposito.

[01:04:45] Paul Scheer: Delivered a package to us that in all that makes sense. It checks all the boxes, but again.

[01:04:53] Jason Mantzoukas: I feel like the discord is pandering to us by giving us Gerard.

[01:04:57] Paul Scheer: Wow.

[01:04:58] June Diane Raphael: Don’t try to figure out our algorithm.

[01:05:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, don’t try and, don’t try, you know what, Discord, have an identity of your own.

[01:05:05] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, and it’s like, we’re, you can’t like, put an equation together and try to come up with the answer to what we’re gonna like.

[01:05:12] Paul Scheer: Wow.

[01:05:13] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, because I don’t want to, I don’t want to log on to YouTube to look at the Discord and figure out what they’re saying.

[01:05:19] Paul Scheer: I mean, look.

[01:05:20] Jason Mantzoukas: Is that how Discord works?

[01:05:21] Paul Scheer: I mean, you kind of, I mean, you know, and I’ll tell you this much, I’ll, like, I’ll tell you this much, that there, the one that came in second place was a movie that Avaryll had shot down and I felt, oh, if that movie wins, if the second place movie wins, I’m gonna have to do it to respect the discord, but I would have to go against Avaryll uh, and her, and, and I gotta say, uh, she’s got good instincts.

[01:05:40] She’s, it never leads us astray, uh, as much as Detroit would like to tell us that she is by, uh, picking who he loves. But, uh, but there we go. And by the way.

[01:05:50] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, what was the second place movie?

[01:05:52] Paul Scheer: Um, I believe it was called Phantom of the Paradise, uh, which I always think is, uh, which is a movie that we actually have some connection to.

[01:06:00] It’s a 1974 film. Uh, and it’s a rock, uh, musical comedy, uh, directed by Brian De Palma, which Avaryll said the problem with it is it’s too in on its own joke. Um, you know, but anyway. All that being said, head to our discord, get in there, uh, you know, mix it up, change the algorithm on us. And, uh, if you want, make sure you check us out on tour.

[01:06:26] We’re going to be all around, uh, all around you go to HDTGM.Com to find out. Uh, how to get tickets and what movies are we are watching and all that good stuff. Alright, so anyone have anything that they wanna plug or talk about?

[01:06:39] Jason Mantzoukas: I mean, I’ll shout out. Um, season six of Big Mouth is about to start in a couple of weeks. And then, um, and then also um, uh, Star Trek, uh, Prodigy, uh, which is up right now. The new season, uh, just came out and it’s fantastic.

[01:06:51] Paul Scheer: I’m very excited to check that out. Lower Decks is on, on Paramount Plus.

[01:06:54] Jason Mantzoukas: So funny.

[01:06:55] Paul Scheer: Because I’m part of Paramount Plus I also plugged that I was on, uh, the Good Fight with Christine Baranski and Andre Brower.

[01:07:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Whoa.

[01:07:01] Paul Scheer: And it was.

[01:07:02] Jason Mantzoukas: That’s like your favorite show.

[01:07:04] Paul Scheer: So I was very excited to be on there. It was really fun. I, uh, play a lawyer who defends a fetus.

[01:07:09] Jason Mantzoukas: Very cool.

[01:07:10] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Very interesting.

[01:07:11] Jason Mantzoukas: Who plays the fetus?

[01:07:12] Paul Scheer: Well, we never meet.

[01:07:13] Jason Mantzoukas: Uh, I only asked cause I auditioned for it.

[01:07:17] Paul Scheer: Well, I don’t want to get into it, but yeah, it was, it was a lot of, it was Johnny Lee Miller,

[01:07:21] Jason Mantzoukas: Johnny Lee Miller.

[01:07:22] June Diane Raphael: A lot of politics went into that Jason.

[01:07:24] Jason Mantzoukas: I’m sure.

[01:07:26] Paul Scheer: Uh, June anything?

[01:07:28] June Diane Raphael: Nope.

[01:07:29] Paul Scheer: All right. Well, listen to The Deep Dive and a big thank you to our discord for being so active, but a giant thank you to our producers. And I am talking about Codi Fisher, our brand new producer, uh, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, our engineer, uh, Devin and our publisher, July Diaz.

[01:07:46] You can check out all of our amazing, uh, merch. We’ve got tons of it at Teepublic.com/stores/HDTGM, but make sure you go to the How Did This Get Made store, not the rip off stores on there. But, uh, thank you everybody for listening. We will see you next week and continue to discuss this and so much more on Last Looks.

[01:08:02] Anyway, uh, bye for now.