EP. 316 — Identical Twins

Chris [00:00:04] Hello to everybody who doesn’t like their own nickname. It’s Beautiful/Anonymous. One hour. One phone call. No names. No holds barred.

Theme Song [00:00:29] (THEME SONG).

Chris [00:00:29] Hi, everybody. Chris Gethard here. Welcome to another episode of Beautiful/ Anonymous. Thank everybody for their feedback on our episode last week. Attacked by Birds. The live call from Sacramento. There was a lot of feedback. A lot of people really enjoyed the call, enjoyed the caller. I mean, there were people in the Facebook group quoting Maya Angelou poems. There were people talking about restaurants in Seattle. We had people debating whether or not I was a redhead, which my wife often says, I’m not a redhead. Other people say I am. Now that I’m growing a beard, the beard is coming in red. Hallie is more convinced than ever that I’m a redhead due to the red beard that I got. So keep your eyes peeled for that, everybody. If you come out to any of the live shows, you can see the red beard in person. Speaking of which, I plug ’em a lot. Bear with me. It’s how I pay my mortgage. It’s how I pay the rent. And it’s more importantly, it’s how I get to meet people. We get to go back out on the road now. I get to meet people, look you in the eye, say thank you for supporting me, for supporting the show. Coming up very soon we got three dates in Florida. We got Tallahassee, Tampa, and Orlando, May 5th, 6th and 7th. And those are live standup dates. Now, May 13th, Durham, North Carolina. That’s our first live Beautiful/ Anonymous taping back. May 14th, Asheville, North Carolina, at the Gray Eagle. Those are early shows, B/A tapings. Late show is stand up. Rounding out May, Ann Arbor, Michigan and Grand Rapids, Michigan, on the 20th and 21st. And I’ll just leave it to that. Leave it to May. But I got a lot of cities coming up and we’re about to announce some new ones. We’re about to announce Pittsburgh is going to be we’re going to throw Pittsburgh in on May 19th before Michigan. All those at ChrisGeth.com and man, would I love it if you bought a ticket. Not just because, you know, you hustle tickets and that’s part of your job but like I said, the amount of times that I’ve had to cancel these tours, and then I get to go back out there and I’m reminded that that that we get to come together, commune as, as people we get to… act as communities, laugh together, drink together, eat food, break bread together. It’s a beautiful thing. So thanks for letting me plug the live shows and check ChrisGeth.com because I might be coming to a city near you. I got a lot of cities up on the website and a bunch more that are going to be announced quite soon. Now, this week’s episode, this was one we recorded it, I said, as soon as we were done, I said, Bump that one up, let’s get that one out ASAP. You’re going to hear very quickly, I mean, from the title, you know that I talk with twins in this one, but I’m not going to tell you their nicknames. I’m not going to tell you their mind blowing occupations. I’m not going to tell you how they try to start beef with other twins. I’m going to let this one unfold and blow your mind and fill you with joy the same way it filled me with a ton of joy as this call happened. This is one that was just so fun for me. Interesting? Sure. But most of all, fun. Enjoy it, everybody.

Voicemail Robot [00:03:26] Thank you for calling Beautiful/ Anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host.

Caller [00:03:35] Hello?

Chris [00:03:36] Hello?

Caller [00:03:37] Oh, hey.

Chris [00:03:39] How’s it going?

Caller [00:03:40] Good. Can you hear me all right?

Chris [00:03:42] I hear you great.

Caller [00:03:44] I’m not gonna lie. I was hoping I’d get to talk to Anita for a few seconds, but I’m really happy to be talking to you as well.

Chris [00:03:51] Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to disappoint. And, uh yeah.

Caller [00:03:56] Tell her I say hi. And she has been a joy to talk to. We’ve just been texting.

Chris [00:04:03] Yes, I should be clear. You left a voicemail. So you’ve you’ve interacted with Anita in that way. And we have one of the rare voicemail calls that we do.

Caller [00:04:14] Yeah. Yeah. So I hope it lives up to expectations.

Chris [00:04:16] Sure.

Caller [00:04:17] I don’t know what she’s told you.

Chris [00:04:18] Nothing. She talks to you. You talk to me. You tell me you’re bummed to talk to me instead of her. And then we talk for an hour.

Caller [00:04:27] Devastated. Devastated.

Chris [00:04:30] I hear you.

Caller [00:04:31] So what’s up? What’s up? How’s it going?

Chris [00:04:34] You want me to be honest?

Caller [00:04:35] Yeah. You sound a little, I don’t know. Tired?

Chris [00:04:39] Break it down to me. How do I sound? Let’s explore this. You tell me how I sound. Let’s start there.

Caller [00:04:43] Frustrated maybe.

Chris [00:04:45] Okay. Okay. Um, here’s what’s going on with me is I got a job in California, acting. That’s great. I like working. I like jobs that count towards my health insurance. I get out here, they tell me you have to get out there in 48 hours. You’re staying for a month. I go, okay. I’ll just leave my wife and my kid behind. Happy to have the work. I film for one day. They tell me, okay, now you have two weeks off. I said, I love working and I don’t need to just be sitting around in California though. So I flew my wife and my son out here and they hung out for some of those days off and it was really lovely. And then this morning I dropped them off at the airport so they could head back home to Jersey. And I’m bummed because I miss them. Because I like my wife and I like my son. So I’m a little bummed.

Caller [00:05:37] Yeah. I mean, it’s in a way a good thing that you’re bummed about it because that means that you love them very much.

Chris [00:05:45] I do. I do. And it’s-.

Caller [00:05:48] If you don’t mind me asking, where in California?

Chris [00:05:51] Los Angeles, which is where the entertainment industry happens. So I’m I’m staying in a place in Glendale, which is right next to Los Angeles.

Caller [00:06:03] I was just in Los Angeles earlier this year for a work trip for about a month. So it was pretty cool. I was near Hermosa.

Chris [00:06:12] Listen, it’s a great city. I like it. They have they got this supermarket called Galco’s that’s nothing but soda. It’s- I love that. But it’s not me. And my entire relationship with the entertainment industry is not one I want to complain about. Who wants to hear someone who’s been relatively successful complain? But this is an industry of people who hit each other in the face at award shows and then win Grammys after they’ve been disgraced. And I just go, What is this? What is this? What are we all doing here? What am I doing here? I wanna hang out with my kid. But anyway, that’s enough about me. How are you doing?

Caller [00:06:51] I’m really good. So I told my boss that I was taking this call and I was like, Yeah, I’ll probably just go to, like, a parking lot, like, around the corner. And then I got in my car and I thought about my cat and I just kept driving. So now I’m back in my apartment in sweatpants, so I’m doing all right.

Chris [00:07:12] I’m glad to help get you a little time away from the office.

Caller [00:07:14] I have a proposition. Hopefully, maybe it’ll make you feel better.

Chris [00:07:19] Okay.

Caller [00:07:19] I would like to preface it by saying that Anita is in on it and it’s got the thumbs up from Anita.

Chris [00:07:27] Oh, boy, what is this gonna be?

Caller [00:07:28] Okay. So I am an identical twin and my idea for this episode is that we could do a joint call with my identical twin.

Chris [00:07:41] Fascinating.

Caller [00:07:41] And the twin’s in on it.

Chris [00:07:42] Okay. Let’s patch it in. We’ve never done that before. I like that.

Caller [00:07:46] Okay, so before we start. Before we start, I think we, like, plan this out. To, like, keep it clear for the audience we figured we could go by our unidentifying childhood nicknames. Does that sound all right?

Chris [00:08:00] Sounds whatever you want.

Caller [00:08:02] All right, so my twin, her childhood nickname is Bean. And I’m Cheese.

Chris [00:08:07] Bean.

Bean [00:08:09] (BEEP) Hello? Hello, Cheese.

Cheese [00:08:10] Bean! Hello! How- are you? You’re there. Hello.

Bean [00:08:18] Hi.

Chris [00:08:19] I can’t keep up with you. This Bean and Cheese, there’s an energy here.

Cheese [00:08:23] No, it’s gonna work. It’s gonna work. So, I have a slightly higher pitched voice, I think.

Chris [00:08:29] Who’s that? Who? Bean or Cheese?

Cheese [00:08:33] Cheese has a slightly higher pitched voice and started the phone call.

Chris [00:08:37] Okay, Bean, why don’t you talk and let me gauge if that’s true.

Bean [00:08:40] Okay, so I. Well, I’m going to emphasize the lower pitch of my voice at litle bit.

Chris [00:08:46] The same exact voice.

Bean [00:08:49] No, it’s not. No it’s not. It’s not. It’s not.

Chris [00:08:53] Okay. We got Bean and then we got Cheese. Two identical twins with identical voices. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Bean [00:09:02] Well, Chris. Hello. This is Bean. I haven’t said hi, so. Hello.

Chris [00:09:07] Hi, Bean. How are you feeling today?

Bean [00:09:11] What was that?

Chris [00:09:12] How you feeling today?

Bean [00:09:14] I’m feeling good. How are you?

Chris [00:09:16] I’m good. I was telling Cheese before that my wife and son went back to Jersey. They had been with me in California, so I’m a little bummed.

Bean [00:09:25] Aw.

Chris [00:09:25] But this is cheering me up because this is madness already.

Bean [00:09:28] Yeah. Good. Good.

Cheese [00:09:30] We’re a little kooky.

Bean [00:09:32] We’re kooky. We’re wild. We’re crazy.

Chris [00:09:34] So identical twins. I imagine you went to school together the whole time?

Bean [00:09:40] Not college.

Chris [00:09:41] Not college.

Cheese [00:09:41] Not college. So we went to school. Preschool?

Bean [00:09:45] Yeah. Yeah, up until college, we used to be. They used to keep us in different classes though. So up until high school, they would always like make sure that we weren’t together.

Chris [00:09:55] Got to ask obvious question. One you’ve both dealt with a million times, so let’s get it out of the way because it’s cliché and boring.

Bean [00:10:01] Of course.

Chris [00:10:02] What’s the what’s the twin- what’s the most twin thing you’ve pulled off? Do you ever take each other’s tests? Did you ever team up in athletic contests where people didn’t realize that you’d switched off halfway through?

Bean [00:10:15] Okay, we never seriously went through with it. But I remember in high school Cheese was way better at physics than I was. I was just not very good at it. So she went in and like we never actually seriously meant for her to take my physics test for me. But she went in and we made a joke that she started it and then everybody was laughing. So the physics teacher caught on and he was like, Wait a second, you’re not you’re not my student. You’re the other one. But.

Cheese [00:10:44] Oh, let’s tell him about that bellybutton prank. We have a bit that we like to pull. We like to tell our some of our friends that identical twins don’t have bellybuttons. Because it’s like it’s not true, but it’s kind of believable, right?

Bean [00:11:00] Yeah. Like, cause how would we have- Chris. How would we have bellybuttons? Like, how would that even make sense? Because of the placenta, we share a placenta. So how would we have bellybuttons? Like, two umbilical cords?

Chris [00:11:11] Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, yes. Right?

Bean [00:11:15] Maybe.

Chris [00:11:17] It’s the type of thing that I’ve never thought about. So if an identical twin told me that was the case, why would I question it?

Cheese [00:11:25] Right. So we have convinced a handful of people that we do not have a belly button. Although to set the record straight, we do have belly buttons, we have our own individual belly buttons.

Bean [00:11:36] And that’s one thing that twins have different. So we do not have the same belly button.

Cheese [00:11:41] Yeah, it’s like an artistic thing that the doctor does. And that’s actually my least favorite thing about Bean is she has a really gross belly button.

Bean [00:11:51] My belly button’s fine.

Cheese [00:11:51] No it’s not.

Bean [00:11:54] Cheese has this like perfect innie belly button, but then I guess-

Cheese [00:11:58] Thank you. It’s beautiful.

Bean [00:12:00] When the doctor was tying off my umbilical cord, he did me second. So he was like, All right, I’m over this. I already did one umbilical cord. I don’t feel like doing a masterpiece for a second one. So I’ve got this like-.

Cheese [00:12:10] Or she.

Bean [00:12:11] Or she doctor. Yeah. I’ve got this like weird outie sort of deal for my belly button.

Chris [00:12:20] I did just Google do identical twins have belly buttons? Just to make sure. Just to make sure you weren’t messing with me now. And one of the first the first thing that comes up is you can often tell identical twins apart by their belly button. So you’re not alone in this.

Bean [00:12:33] Yeah.

Chris [00:12:34] You’re not alone in this. Okay.

Cheese [00:12:37] Yeah, I guess not. A lot of people-

Chris [00:12:38] Best part of being a twin? Worst part of being a twin? A lot of people. What a lot of people what?

Bean [00:12:44] A lot of people have their own ways of like telling us apart. Like I know in high school we used to do our hair differently, but best part of being a twin… My best friend forever and always. Soul mate. Literal soul mate. Worst part, growing up, it was like we really tried to find our own identity, so we would like kind of avoid people finding similarities between us and we would like emphasize things that we had different from each other.

Cheese [00:13:18] Is that why you had that ugly bob?

Bean [00:13:20] In second grade?

Cheese [00:13:22] Yeah. Is that why you did the ugly bob so people that people could tell us apart?

Bean [00:13:26] Why are you roasting me (BLEEP)? Oh, shoot. I just said your name!

Chris [00:13:30] Oh, it’s okay. We’ll bleep it. We’ll bleep it.

Bean [00:13:34] All he heard was Cheese.

Chris [00:13:34] Don’t worry. We’ll bleep it.

Bean [00:13:36] Get your pad out, Chris, because this is probably going to happen quite a few times.

Chris [00:13:40] Anita, if you want to keep track of this, what we should do is not even bleep it. We should go in and just put an audio patch of just “Bean” or “Cheese” over whichever name you said.

Bean [00:13:52] Sorry. It’s just going to get a little confusing being.

Cheese [00:13:57] Bean, are you pacing?

Bean [00:13:58] Am I what?

Cheese [00:13:59] Are you pacing? I am pacing back and forth. I’m getting my steps in for today.

Bean [00:14:03] Normally I do pace during phone calls, but I’m actually just lying with my cat right now trying to-.

Cheese [00:14:08] Okay, I’m going to do the same thing. We each have our own cats. Her cat is named Kiwi and my cat is named Tofu. They have yet to meet, but I think they’re going to be friends. And they kind of look similar. They’re not twins, but they look similar.

Chris [00:14:24] We’re going to pause there on the idea that they’re about their cats not being twins. Okay. Because, look, this one’s a ball of energy. It’s a snowball rolling down the hill and gaining momentum. And we just have to pause somewhere for ads. It’s the way of the world. It’s the nature of the beast. So we’ll stop here. And we’ll be right back. Thanks to all of our advertisers. Now let’s get back to the phone call.

Cheese [00:14:54] And my cat is named tofu. They have yet to meet, but I think they’re going to be friends. And they kind of look similar. They’re not twins, but they look similar.

Chris [00:15:00] So you two don’t you don’t live in the same city anymore?

Cheese [00:15:03] Correct. Bean lives in Chicago. And I live in Washington, D.C..

Chris [00:15:10] But you’re from the Philly Baltimore region?

Cheese [00:15:15] No.

Chris [00:15:16] No?

Cheese [00:15:17] We are from Upstate New York.

Chris [00:15:20] Upstate New York. Oh wow. I really guessed wrong on the accent. Cheese’s original accent had some Philly in it to me.

Bean [00:15:28] We got the Baltimore accent?

Cheese [00:15:30] I guess so.

Chris [00:15:30] Just heard you say you said, like, boss in a way that reminded me of, like, a South Jersey Philly thing, but I could see it being Upstate. Sure.

Cheese [00:15:36] Oh, gotcha.

Chris [00:15:37] Sure.

Cheese [00:15:38] Although I will say-.

Bean [00:15:40] That comes from our dad, because our dad-.

Cheese [00:15:42] Yeah I was just going to say that.

Bean [00:15:43] And I know, Chris, I know you have people like shitting on Jersey all the time, but we are two people that love Jersey because we have the family there. So we can relate on the New Jersey stuff.

Chris [00:15:54] Everybody knows that-

Cheese [00:15:55] Right before this call started, I was listening to your comedy bit everybody from New Jersey is a little bit Italian. And can I just say we’re both big fans, but I think my favorite of all Chris Gethard isms is specifically the line where you say, “A goupaline!”

Chris [00:16:14] Yeah.

Cheese [00:16:15] Bean, you know?

Chris [00:16:16] So you grew up knowing what a goupaline was?

Cheese [00:16:18] Actually, no.

Bean [00:16:19] You know what a goupaline is?

Cheese [00:16:21] I didn’t know what a goupaline was. Although I do know the pasta sauce and gravy thing.

Bean [00:16:28] Oh yeah we’re gravy. We’re a gravy family.

Chris [00:16:30] That one’s always confused me. Listen, I’m glad you guys like Jersey. Everybody knows that twins love New Jersey. That’s a well-known fact that all identical twins have an affinity for New Jersey. So.

Cheese [00:16:40] That’s true.

Chris [00:16:41] This is a lot. So I’m. I’m doing my best to handle it. Let me you got you ever deal with creepy guys who have a twin thing? You got to deal with that, huh?

Bean [00:16:51] Yeah. Of course.

Cheese [00:16:52] Not to our face.

Bean [00:16:52] No that’s happened before.

Cheese [00:16:56] Oh, yeah. Bean came to visit me one time in D.C., and we went up to, like, one of those ice cream trucks near the mall. And some guy was like, Hey, if you let me take your picture, I’ll give you free ice cream. And we were like, Yeah, sure. So we got free ice cream.

Chris [00:17:16] So, that’s not creepy, that’s pretty wholesome.

Bean [00:17:21] There’s been some creepy undertones to some things before. Like when we’re walking around together, we’ll just have a lot of men just be like, Ooh, twins. Not, like, outright say anything, really. But like it’s in the air.

Chris [00:17:36] Yeah. Yeah.

Cheese [00:17:37] Although I do feel like we have, like, a pseudo celebrity thing going on though.

Chris [00:17:42] Just by the nature of being identical?

Bean [00:17:45] Yeah, that is one of the pros of being a twin is when we go somewhere new and people see us, they’re like, Whoa, what is this freak of nature? I’ve never seen this in person before. So, yeah, we try to use that as like a bit sometimes. If we go somewhere new and then people realize that we’re identical twins, we’ll play that up a little bit.

Chris [00:18:07] Now, I’ll keep asking the obvious questions just to get through them, get them out of the way. Companion question. I don’t want to assume that you have the same lifestyle. Maybe, maybe you don’t date the same type of people. But assuming let’s just say you both like guys. Not sure if that’s the case. You can let me know if it’s not. Assuming you do, have you ever had a crush on the same guy and how does that go?

Bean [00:18:32] Cheese, you can take this one.

Cheese [00:18:34] Oh, okay. It all started back in preschool. We did date the same guy.

Chris [00:18:39] What?

Cheese [00:18:40] I think we did get married. I think we got married. I don’t remember the logistics, how we worked that out. But in preschool, we did marry the same gentleman. And we do have separate boyfriends now. I don’t think it’s ever really been an issue. But I will say our boyfriends have not met each other. But I’m already like preemptively annoyed for when they do meet each other because they’re going to get along like annoyingly well.

Chris [00:19:07] Why? Why do you say that?

Bean [00:19:09] They’re very similar it seems. So growing up, like after, of course, in preschool when we did have the same boyfriend, um we definitely like different guys. It was always one thing where it was like whenever she liked someone, I was like, okay, well, I don’t like them now. We have this phrase called twin hopping, which is like-.

Cheese [00:19:33] Oh, I forgot about twin hopping.

Bean [00:19:36] If a guy like tries to make moves on one twin, then he is immediately rejected from then being able to make moves on the other twin. Because we don’t allow twin hoppers.

Chris [00:19:47] No twin hoppers. Take your twin hoppersm get out of here.

Bean [00:19:52] There’s never been like boy drama where we’ve liked the same guy other than in preschool, obviously. I don’t know if that counts.

Cheese [00:20:00] But I think it was a bonding experience. That wasn’t drama.

Bean [00:20:03] Yeah, that wasn’t drama. I remember in preschool, we were completely fine with both dating him. We were really progressive.

Chris [00:20:11] Is twin ho- Is twi- let me- Bean and Cheese, you got to let me break in. You two just have a rhythm. That’s impossible. I’m pretty good at this after all these years and this is tough. Is twin hopping a phrase that’s just yours or is that like a thing out there?

Bean [00:20:27] I think this it’s just ours. I don’t know. Cheese, have you heard it anywhere else?

Cheese [00:20:29] I think it’s just ours. Yeah, I think we coined that. But if there’s any twins listening to this, then they can take it.

Bean [00:20:36] Yeah, I was just going to say in in high school, there was this other set of twins that we knew, and there was some guy that dated one of the twins. And then I think he cheated on one of the twins with the other twin and then started dating the other twin. And I’m pretty sure that’s where we came up with the phrase like, we can never deal with twin hoppers. That’s just too weird.

Chris [00:20:55] That’s real messed up. That’s probably.

Bean [00:20:58] Right?

Chris [00:20:58] That probably messed those twins up for a long time. Wow. That’s dark. I’m glad you didn’t deal with that.

Bean [00:21:06] No, we- twin relationship comes first. We’re not going to let anything come in between that.

Chris [00:21:12] Now, when I grew up- and you’ll know where I’m going with this if you’ve dealt with it before. But I feel like you’re much younger than I am. Based on your energy levels and enthusiasm for life. That being said, I grew up watching a cartoon called G.I. Joe, and two of the bad guys who are part of the organization known as Cobra were Tomax and Xamot, which you might notice they are spelled, you know, you spell one backwards, you get the other. They were twins and they were bad asses. But the G.I. Joe good guys figured out that if you hurt one, the other also felt the pain. So that was like the trick on how to defeat them. Is that a thing? Do you ever feel like, whether it’s physical or emotional, that you have felt Bean’s pain, Cheese, or vice versa?

Cheese [00:21:56] Oh, totally. Yeah. It’s like it’s kind of sad because I’ve had periods of my life where, like, everything in my life was going super rock and roll, but then Bean’s a little bit sad about something so then I’m like, Well, now I’m sad too, because my partner in crime’s sad.

Bean [00:22:12] It’s more like an empathy thing. So there’s there’s not, like, a, a psychological thing where when she physically feels pain, I physically feel it too. But like, definitely empathy wise when she is having a rough time, I kinda feel for my twin. So it’s like that.

Chris [00:22:34] So it’s not like if one of you falls off a bike in Washington, D.C., the other feels pain in your knee in Chicago. It’s more of that if one of you is having work related stress, you’ll call the other and you’ll be there for one another.

Bean [00:22:45] Um, you know, there have been- it’s mostly that. There have been times where I’ll like, feel like something might be going on with her and then I’ll call her and she’ll have something going on. But, like, it’s more so like, um the instinct? But it’s not happened- it hasn’t happened enough for it to be definite.

Chris [00:23:07] So a couple of eerie incidents, but nothing.

Bean [00:23:10] Yeah, there have been there have been a few eerie incidents of that sort of thing, but nothing defined.

Chris [00:23:16] Okay. Are there things that one of you really enjoys or loves that the other really hates? Like a musical artist, a TV show, a movie? Or do you generally get on the same page about stuff?

Bean [00:23:30] Mostly the same, I’d say. Definitely our music taste is pretty much the same. It differs a little bit, but pretty consistent. Our TV shows are usually the same. I don’t know. Cheese, is there anything that we that you like that I don’t like?

Cheese [00:23:49] I feel like you’re being humble. So Bean is actually a really good artist, but she’s a lot better art than I am. She’s also cooler than I am. She has a nose ring. She tends to listen to more Freddie Mercury and classic rock, whereas I listen to less cool rock.

Chris [00:24:09] Like, what? What qualifies as less cool? I mean, less cool than Freddie Mercury is most things. But what are we talking here?

Cheese [00:24:17] I’m going to be honest, I really fuck with some Imagine Dragons. And I know it’s embarrassing to say, but they’re are good band.

Bean [00:24:24] Oh yeah. That that is one of our differences. You like Imagine Dragons way more than I do. They’re fine. But you like them way more. Oh, and Cheese is- I just thought of one. Cheese is really into running. Cheese runs marathons and I, Bean, do not like running. I will occasionally do the elliptical but that is about it.

Chris [00:24:45] Now Cheese, I believe you- I believe you said that Bean is cooler than you because Bean has a nose ring. I do want to point out that that is a thing you could also get if you want to be that cool, like that’s you could get that at the mall, you know?

Cheese [00:24:59] I don’t know. I don’t think I have a nose for it. She has a good nose for a nose ring. Oh, our noses are slightly different.

Chris [00:25:05] You’re identical twins!

Cheese [00:25:05] This is true. This is true. I hear the logic. I hear what I’m saying. However, her nose is slightly different.

Bean [00:25:16] That’s one of the things that people used to tell us apart by. Our noses are a little bit different.

Chris [00:25:21] And wait and Bean’s nose is different in a way that makes it just cool enough to pull off a nose ring, whereas Cheese’s doesn’t get over the line?

Bean [00:25:28] It’s. It’s more than just that I can pull off a nose ring. It’s that my persona I like, because I’m also artsy, I try to do like the artsy esthetic. So I mean, I don’t want to brag and say I’m cool, but if Cheese is saying so, then I guess it’s so. So yeah, so I try to pull off- I do like more of like the artsy clothing and stuff like that.

Chris [00:25:53] So Bean is the artsy one, Cheese is the sporty one.

Bean [00:25:57] You could say that. But Cheese is also very artsy, just not quite as involved in it as I am.

Cheese [00:26:03] That’s true. I am. I am also artsy. I’m looking at- I’m making your birthday present as we speak. And I’m looking at it right now.

Bean [00:26:13] You’re making my birthday present?

Cheese [00:26:14] Yeah.

Bean [00:26:14] Aw. Oh, oh now I should get you something.

Chris [00:26:16] That was very sweet.

Cheese [00:26:17] You should.

Bean [00:26:18] I’ll think about it. I’ll think about what I have to make you.

Cheese [00:26:23] Yeah, our birthday’s coming up.

Chris [00:26:24] That’s awesome. Happy Birthdays.

Cheese [00:26:25] 25. Oh, yeah. That’s another good thing about being a twin is when you share a birthday. And it makes- oh, it makes singing Happy Birthday so much less awkward because you can also sing. You don’t just have to sit there awkwardly.

Chris [00:26:40] I love that.

Bean [00:26:41] Oh, yeah. Like when yeah, when people are singing happy birthday and they’re just, like, kind of waiting for it to be over so you can blow out your candles. But yeah, no, I sing Happy Birthday to her and then she sings Happy Birthday to me. So there’s no awkward moment where we’re just staring into our families eyes, waiting for them to be done with Happy birthday.

Chris [00:26:59] I’m going to tell you, out of everything you’ve said so far, that is by far the one I’m most jealous of. I don’t know that I’ve mentioned this before. I have such anxiety about what you just described. When people sing Happy Birthday, to me, it’s probably the worst 35 seconds of my year. Every year. It’s the most uncomfortable I feel. And if you’ve listened to this show for more than 10 minutes, you know that I feel uncomfortable at some point every day, oftentimes for most of the day. And my wife, when we first got together, she’s a much more extroverted person than I am. She’d plan birthday things for me and I’d have like panic attacks. And the idea that you have someone to share that with and get through it with, I am very jealous of that. Very jealous of that.

Bean [00:27:47] Yeah. I definitely feel like the birthday anxiety. Because like, I don’t like having people focus all their attention on me, you know? Like, I don’t want to be, I don’t want to feel like I am in charge of all these people having a good time because they’re all here for my birthday. Being a twin it alleviates that a little bit.

Chris [00:28:08] I hear you. I hear you, Bean. I hear you. That was Bean, right?

Bean [00:28:13] That was Bean! Good job.

Chris [00:28:14] Figuring out your voices. You’re not wrong. You’re not wrong. Between the phone connection.

Bean [00:28:18] Is my voice a little deeper?

Chris [00:28:19] It’s. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. You weren’t lying. You weren’t lying. Now. Have there ever been points, I would imagine, you know, everybody, especially when you’re a teenager, everybody goes through stretches where you’re filling yourself out. People kind of rebel. There might be an added thing here of has there been stretches where you guys just got tired of being twins and like one of you goes into a goth phase or something like that. Somebody starts doing things that are really pronounced, presentationally, to rebel against being twins.

Bean [00:28:55] We didn’t do anything like crazy pronounced.

Cheese [00:28:59] I will say, also sorry for this, Bean, but I was like kind of annoying to Bean in high school because like she would get dressed first, and then I wouldn’t see what she was wearing. And then I would get dressed, but then I would see what she was wearing and it would be like the same color. And I’d be like, Absolutely not. One of us has to change. And it’s going to be Bean. Like Bean has to change. Although now if we’re wearing the same color, I’d be like, That’s lit. That’s great. That’s amazing.

Bean [00:29:29] We’d probably we’d probably wear the same outfit on purpose, honestly, now. But in high school, it’s much more trying to like separate ourselves. So we did this thing where I had straight hair and she had curly hair. So like I would straighten my hair every morning and then she would curl her hair like, just like tight curlicues. And now we have permanent hair damage.

Cheese [00:29:53] Now we have permanent hair damage, so.

Bean [00:29:55] But yeah. So we never really done anything. We never do anything too wild to separate ourselves. But oh, there’s she Cheese played the ukulele and she would not let me touch a ukulele for years on end. It was like it was her thing. She played ukelele. I could not touch that. That was hers. But I just wanted to. And then finally, I think maybe like after like a year or two of college when we like went off to our own schools and our own thing, I think- Cheese, I think you actually like, gave me permission to ask for a ukelele for Christmas.

Cheese [00:30:31] I did. I did. I was like, all right.

Chris [00:30:47] I’m getting the. I’m getting the impression- and now I don’t know if this is because Cheese is the one who placed the phone call. I do get the sense that Cheese is more of a ball buster. True or false?

Cheese [00:30:58] Hmm. Um. No, it depends.

Chris [00:31:02] Okay.

Bean [00:31:02] Uh, yeah depends. Yeah. Cheese, why you busting my balls?

Cheese [00:31:08] I don’t know. I’m sorry, Bean. I’ll. I’ll cut it out. Knock it off.

Bean [00:31:16] Oh,Cheese is a ball buster with boys. So she went to- this is- this is something where I think we kind of have differences now. Cheese went to a tech school, engineering focused where there were, like, a lot of, you know, mostly men there. Cheese, what was your ratio, like 70/30 or something like that?

Cheese [00:31:37] Yeah.

Bean [00:31:38] So, but I went to a school that was like 50/50 boy and girl. So Cheese I just, like, get a vibe that you’re much more confident with just, like, busting guys balls and, like, not caring if they say something stupid because you’re just so jaded to, like, men more than I am.

Cheese [00:32:00] No, it’s it’s slim pickings with the women at tech school. So if there’s any, like, woman listening to this and you wanna feel like a princess, go to a tech school because there’s such a thing is like the tech school attractiveness inflation due to the ratio. So it’s like a thing. Like if you’re a tech school, no, if you’re like a real life seven, you’re a tech school nine.

Chris [00:32:23] Now when you that phrase you just used when you said, like the tech school attraction ratio inflation, is that one of the first things they teach you in engineering class? Because you just you phrased that like an engineer.

Cheese [00:32:35] In the intro. 101 Yeah, they teach you like physics, like the laws of gravity, stuff like that. And then they teach you that. Like, you know, I mean, it’s pretty obvious the ratio’s all messed up. They gotta teach you some social cues.

Chris [00:32:50] Oh, my goodness. Oh, my good- a tech school seven- a real life seven is tech school nine. That will- that is a phrase that’s going to live in infamy. I am I mean, we are halfway done and I’ve rarely been this tired. I don’t think I’ve been this tired since that live show in Detroit where I got those three psychos on the line at the same time. The Motor City mayhem guys. Those guys were…

Cheese [00:33:12] Oh, yeah.

Chris [00:33:14] Are you friends with other twins? Are there twin conventions? Okay everybody. Time to take a breath. Time to take a breath. Because while our callers have delightful energy, it is undeniably overwhelming. And at some point what we need to do is we need to cleanse the palate. And I think the best way to cleanse the palate is via some advertisements… Thanks again to all of our advertisers. And now we’re going to finish off the phone call… Are you friends with other twins? Are there twin conventions? Is there anything to be thought about with seeking out other twins to compare twin experience? Or is it like, why would we do that?

Bean [00:34:00] So there is a twin festival. We haven’t been yet, but it’s a bucket list item. It’s in Twinsburg, Ohio. They have a twin festival, but other than that, Cheese, do we have any twin friends?

Cheese [00:34:14] Not really. We should.

Bean [00:34:17] We should. It’s not against other twins. It’s just that, you know, they’re hard to come by. Oh, one of our rules, though, we don’t consider fraternal twins to be as much of real twins. Whenever we come to fraternal twins, we’re like, Oh, you guys are fake twins.

Cheese [00:34:37] You guys are just siblings with the same birthday.

Bean [00:34:40] Yeah. Only identical twins are the elite level of twins.

Chris [00:34:47] Now, I want to address this. I also just want to say something else too. I just I have spent this entire phone call in a panic. I said I had my phone on do not disturb mode. I went, what’s going on? It’s still getting alerts. And then it got. I put it on airplane mode. I go these alerts aren’t even on, and then I realized one of you is just getting alerts, right? Is that you?

Cheese [00:35:09] Oh.

Chris [00:35:10] Because I keep hearing that. I keep hearing the (MAKES VIBRATING SOUND), but I think it’s just me. Anyway. How do fraternal twins react when you question their OG twin qualities here? Their twin worthiness?

Cheese [00:35:23] Who cares? They’re not real twins. Doesn’t matter.

Bean [00:35:27] Cheese, be nice.

Cheese [00:35:28] That’s true.

Bean [00:35:29] Yeah. No, they try to argue. They’re like, Oh, no. But we kind of look like. I’m like, Yeah, but you’re not identical. You don’t look that much alike. I look like my mom. She’s not my twin.

Chris [00:35:41] Now, I do have to ask, because you two clearly, I mean, we’re having a lot of fun. It’s clear you two are very much on the same wavelength. This idea that, you know, everybody talks about how there’s like this twin language. I don’t know if if you had that, but you certainly have a rhythm that cannot be messed with here. It does call into question, it must have been pretty sad for you to head to different cities for school.

Bean [00:36:05] It was so hard.

Cheese [00:36:06] Oh yeah. We sobbed.

Bean [00:36:09] Sobbed.

Cheese [00:36:09] Sobbed. But I mean. Yeah, I mean, it helped us develop our own lives a little bit.

Bean [00:36:16] Honestly, I feel like being apart in college made us closer. Because it let us become our own people and not have to fight for like I’m this twin and having people tell us apart. So we just like were able to like appreciate our similarities more. Cheese, do you agree? Like, I feel like we’re like, much closer now.

Cheese [00:36:39] Totes magotes.

Bean [00:36:39] Yeah, because like in high school, also, we were just like teenagers so we would bicker about random things like, That’s my t-shirt, don’t wear that. So we’re definitely we’re closer now. But now when, when we both went to college, that was that was rough. Definitely rough for me. Did you have it rough?

Cheese [00:36:57] Yeah.

Chris [00:36:58] Now Bean did you go did you go to art school?

Bean [00:37:01] So I just I didn’t go to like a specific art school, but I did study art. I went to like a private, private liberal arts school. So I studied art and I also studied biology. So I was a dual major.

Chris [00:37:16] That’s an interesting mix. What are you going to do with those degrees?

Bean [00:37:20] Okay. So it’s a very small field, but I am currently in a master’s program for medical illustration. That’s how the art and the biology tie together. So I went into college knowing that I wanted to eventually do that. So, yeah, that’s that’s what I do. Medical illustration.

Chris [00:37:38] What is- everything about you, you two is fascinating. What is medical illustration?

Bean [00:37:43] So it’s hard to, like, define as one thing. It can be so many different things. But a lot of the the way I describe to most people is like if you’re looking at a biology textbook or an anatomy book, it’ll be all the illustrations in there. But it can also be like tutorials for pharmaceutical companies. Advertisement for biotech companies. Journals. Covers. It’s a lot of things, and it’s expanding, too. So it’s turning into a lot of like virtual reality, too, for training med students how to perform surgical procedures. I’m not exactly sure where I want to go down with it, but I’m learning. It’s a two year program, so I’m in my first year right now.

Chris [00:38:30] Wow. And Cheese. The tech school. It was an engineering focus. What’d you wind up doing?

Cheese [00:38:38] Oh. So I did my undergrad in mechanical engineering, then I did my masters in nuclear engineering. So now I do nuclear engineering for the government. And I would like to preface that by saying I do not make weapons. I do not make nuclear weapons. Some people ask me that, but I do not.

Chris [00:38:53] So wait, you’re like two charming twins who are also geniuses? That’s your deal?

Cheese [00:38:59] We have an older brother, too, and I would just like to give him a plug and say that he is also very charming and brilliant. He’s a quantum physicists.

Bean [00:39:10] He’s the smart one.

Chris [00:39:12] So your family has a quantum physicist, a nuclear engineer and and a medical illustrator?

Bean [00:39:19] Yeah.

Cheese [00:39:20] Yeah, yeah. His childhood nickname is Bear, so we’re Cheese, Bean, and Bear.

Chris [00:39:26] It’s like a fucking J.D. Salinger short story right here.

Cheese [00:39:31] I love J.D. Salinger.

Chris [00:39:35] It’s like one of those short stories. Like Franny and Zooey. Just a family of geniuses.

Bean [00:39:41] I was the dumb one. Like I was at school studying. I was in school studying biological sciences and also working on my art projects all hours of the night. So, you know, from an outside perspective, that’s probably someone who you think would be intelligent and somewhat talented. But I was the dumb one of the family.

Chris [00:40:02] The fuck is going on?

Cheese [00:40:03] I would like to say none of us, none of the family thought you were the dumb one. That was self, that was self-imposed. That was your own title. We all thought you- we all think she’s great.

Chris [00:40:14] Does Wes Anderson direct your family? What is going on?

Cheese [00:40:18] You know, we’ve just got good parents.

Bean [00:40:19] We really do. They’re they’re really nice. You know, they never said like anything mean to us at all. And now it kind of gives us, like, this too much self-confidence. You need to knock us down a few pegs.

Chris [00:40:33] I’ve never felt less adequate than I do right now. Podcaster. And I don’t even know how to work the phone system myself. I need Jared and Anita and Marcus and formerly Harry to even just get0 I just talk at a thing and then people talk back.

Bean [00:40:50] To be honest, we would that is one of our life goals is to be podcasters together because we think that would be so fun. So we’re envious of you.

Chris [00:40:59] Yeah, I don’t think that’s a hard sell. Hi, podcasting company. We’re two identical twins who are also super geniuses that work in the nuclear field and draw virtual reality medical textbooks. You think that you want to give us money to say stuff into microphones? Yeah. That’s a no brainer. Oh, my goodness.

Cheese [00:41:20] It’s a dream. It would be fun.

Chris [00:41:23] Cheese.

Cheese [00:41:23] I think we both just, like, want to.

Chris [00:41:25] What’s the pitch? I’ll run it up the flagpole here at Earwolf.

Cheese [00:41:29] What’s the pitch?

Chris [00:41:29] Yeah. What’s the pitch on the podcast you want to do?

Bean [00:41:31] So Cheese and I, you know, we’ve we’ve chatted about a little bit. I think my idea was doing like, um, just a podcast about young professionals and since there are two of us, we’d have two separate perspectives on it. We, I don’t know. An idea that I had was do like a little bit of like a yin and yang. So if we were to have listeners write in, then one twin could like give advice in one direction and one twin could give advice in the other direction. Um, I don’t know, but also just like telling goofy stories about ourselves. I do’nt know, Cheese, did you have a different idea of what our podcast would be?

Cheese [00:42:09] I feel like we could just chit chat. We should just start recording.

Bean [00:42:18] Yeah, we’re just going to sit down next time we’re together and just chit chat and record our conversation.

Chris [00:42:22] I wish I- Scott Aukerman, who- I know Scott to a degree. I don’t know him that well. He just redid his comedy Bang Bang deal. He got this deal where he gets to, he gets to like present all these other podcasts. Imagine if I had carved that out and we could do the Bean and Cheese hour. And then I think that’s what we’d do. It would alternate months. January would be the Bean and Cheese hour. February would be the Cheese and Bean hour and we’d alternate who gets to pick what the podcast is. So you’d have two podcasts under my umbrella. The would be both of you. But one would be about nuclear issues and the other would be about modern biology and art and how they coincide.

Bean [00:43:02] I mean, I think I would do well. I guess I’m biased.

Cheese [00:43:06] I’m game, too.

Chris [00:43:06] Now. You said that your boyfriends haven’t met each other yet, which makes me feel like they probably haven’t met your family as a whole.

Cheese [00:43:13] They have not. Oh, okay. So my brother met my boyfriend, like, a few months ago. We went to New York City, and my brother lived kind of close to New York City, so I just invited them. And they got along super well cause my boyfriend’s, like, pretty nerdy, so they just nerded out together. And then my boyfriend’s going to meet my dad tomorrow cause he’s coming into town for a business trip. So. Should be fun.

Bean [00:43:37] Dad’s visiting tomorrow? I’m so jealous.

Cheese [00:43:39] I’ll tell him you say hey.

Chris [00:43:42] This is weird.

Bean [00:43:43] So Cheese has met my boyfriend, though. So I’ve been dating my special man for a little over two years now. Cheese, what do you think of him? He’s a good one, right?

Cheese [00:43:54] He gets two thumbs up from Cheese.

Bean [00:43:58] He’s handsome. He treats me right. I like him. I think I’ll keep keep him around for a little while. But, no, I haven’t. I haven’t met Cheese’s boyfriend yet. Hopefully soon.

Chris [00:44:08] I’ve had some disasters when I’ve met the families of people I’ve dated. There have been times where I’ve gotten dumped pretty directly because of my feelings of inadequacy showing up and making it hard for me to function. I also will tell you the first my- Never mind. I won’t. I won’t tell that story. But just I’m thinking about- I am right now, reliving in my mind what it was like when I met my high school girlfriend’s father for the first time, and you could hear me giggling with the shame. And I was seven, 16, 17? Yeah I was it was twenty, almost 30 years- 25 years ago. And I still nervously giggle at how poorly it went. But I just feel so much empathy right now for your boyfriends because it’s like, okay, you’re finally going to meet the family. Well, I hope you get to meet my- you’ll meet my sister, who looks exactly like me and is a nuclear engineer, my brother, the quantum physicist. I can’t imagine what your parents do, but I’m sure they have very high standards. That’s an intimidating family meet right there.

Bean [00:45:15] We’re really not. I don’t think we’re an intimidating family. I don’t know. We’re so we’re all very short.

Cheese [00:45:19] Our dad. Yeah. Okay. So we are all very short, but some boyfriends have said that our dad is a little intimidating, even though he’s only five foot three. Because he gives off sort of like a mysterious mafia presence. So there’s that. I will confirm he is not in the mafia. He is the Jersey Italian, though, so.

Chris [00:45:43] Uh huh. Uh huh. I feel like I’d get along with him best out of everybody. True or false?

Bean [00:45:49] Probably.

Cheese [00:45:49] You would. You would. He loves you.

Bean [00:45:51] In the past, Cheese and I have both had boyfriends that are each like above six feet tall and they’ll come over for dinner and be like, Your dad is so intimidating. I think. I think it’s because I think it’s just because they’re meeting the dad, though, you know, that’s always going to be intimidating. But no, like, I don’t know. I don’t think we have an intimidating family. Our mom is like a little sweetheart. Our dad’s a sweetheart, too. He’s just a little more quiet about it.

Chris [00:46:19] Wow. You two. This is a hell of a phone call. Hell of a phone call. Wait. Now, Cheese, you said you work for the government in the nuclear field, but you don’t build weapons. That’s fascinating. So are you working on, like, the energy grid and the infrastructure and stuff like that?

Cheese [00:46:35] I work in national security. I look at other people’s nuclear capabilities, and that’s about all I’ll say.

Chris [00:46:42] God damn it! What is this phone call? Everything you two say makes it sound like more of a scripted movie.

Cheese [00:46:55] I promise we did not script this. We had, like, a phone call, like, a week ago, and we’re like, what do we want to talk about? And then we’re like, Eh, let’s just riff. Let’s just like improv, see where it goes. And we were like, Oh, is there anything that we don’t want to talk about? We were both like, Eh, not really like, maybe not our Social Security numbers, but that’s about it.

Chris [00:47:14] You are- clearly this is something you can’t say too much about. And I’m sure there’s all sorts in non-disclosure agreements, and I don’t want to tread upon those. But you are able to say that you use what you have learned in school. And you are you are someone who looks at the nuclear capabilities globally of different countries. I’m sure both in terms of weaponry, reactors, energy grids. And you’re keeping- you’re someone who helps keep tabs on the overall global nuclear situation.

Cheese [00:47:44] Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome. Somebody’s got to do it.

Bean [00:47:48] Chris, there’s a lot that even I don’t know what she does, and I feel like I would be the one who would know if someone were to know. But I don’t even know.

Cheese [00:47:59] Can I just say I sit at a cubicle all day. Kind of boring. I play the Wordle just like everybody else. First thing I do in the morning.

Chris [00:48:08] Today’s was very hard.

Bean [00:48:09] Don’t give it away. I haven’t done it yet.

Cheese [00:48:13] I don’t know what today’s was on the outside world because the one at my work is a few days behind.

Chris [00:48:19] What?

Cheese [00:48:19] I forget what today’s was.

Chris [00:48:20] Why is the one at your work a few days behind?

Cheese [00:48:24] It’s like an internal system thing.

Chris [00:48:26] Wait, is it like you get the same one we get a few days later or they have a harder one for genius people?

Cheese [00:48:32] No, no, it’s just a few days late. So don’t. Oh, don’t tell me what todays is, because I’ll get it in a few days.

Bean [00:48:39] Also don’t tell me what today’s is because I haven’t done it yet.

Chris [00:48:41] Okay. We won’t say what. How about last week- How about last week they give nymph. They put nymph in there. Fuck them. That’s. That’s the- That’s the difference between me and people who are genuinely- sometimes people look at me and go, You’re really smart. I go, No, I just have glasses. You. You two are smart people getting graduate degrees. I sit here, I’m like, You don’t put A E I O or U, you’re gonna put nymph? Fuck off! That’s me. Whereas you two are like, an interesting challenge, and we figured it out immediately.

Cheese [00:49:13] No, no, it has an accent in it. And I thought that- I don’t remember what the word was, but there was an accent and I was real pissed about it.

Chris [00:49:21] Wait. Did you, Anita just noted- do you wear glasses? Did you just say you wore glasses?

Cheese [00:49:27] We wear contacts.

Chris [00:49:28] Of the both of you wear contacts.

Bean [00:49:30] We’ve we’ve both got horrible vision. But I think, Cheese, is our vision the same? I’m negative five in both eyes.

Cheese [00:49:37] Yeah. I’m the same. Pretty much.

Chris [00:49:39] God damn it.

Cheese [00:49:39] We have the same glasses frames, which makes sense. Because of course, they look the best on both of us.

Chris [00:49:46] And yeah, despite the slightly different noses.

Cheese [00:49:49] Yeah, we actually, our- our face shapes are slightly different too. Her face is a little bit longer.

Bean [00:49:55] She’s the round one.

Chris [00:49:55] There’s real potential here. And this is not that much of a reach. That you could all be home one year for Thanksgiving dinner, and Cheese, you could just be sitting there going like, I’ve been thinking a lot about some things I’ve learned about the nuclear grid. And here’s one thing that I can’t quite put my finger on. And then your quantum physicist brother could sit there and go, Wait. I’ve been figuring out a way to get a perpetual motion machine activated to help solve the energy crisis. And you just gave me the piece of information that’s been- that’s been the missing link. And then your quantum physicist brother will start to verbalize some stuff you mentioned with your nuclear expertize, and then the quantum physicist brother will go, It’s almost like I can see it in my mind. If only I had someone smart enough to draw what I’m talking about. And Bean, that’s where you step in.

Bean [00:50:46] I was wonder- I was wondering, how are you going to pull me in there?

Chris [00:50:50] And Bean you step in and all of a sudden your family has solved the energy crisis and we no longer need to rely on oil. And. And we can stop the global dominance of the oil wielding nations.

Cheese [00:51:06] And you would have been the visionary behind it all, Chris.

Chris [00:51:08] No, I would have been the idiot with the microphone. I’m the idiot with the microphone. Who’s who can’t figure out nymph.

Cheese [00:51:15] Nymph did take me six tries, so don’t be hard on yourself.

Chris [00:51:18] Oof. You ever cheat at Wordle? My wife gets mad at me because I cheat.

Cheese [00:51:23] No! So one time my boyfriend, he did the world before me. And he tried to give me a hint, but I didn’t want the hint. I want to be able to do it myself. No cheating.

Chris [00:51:33] If I get to the sixth one and I can’t get it, I’ll sit here, I go this is going to ruin my whole day if I don’t know. So I’ll look up some clues. And if I still can’t figure it out, I’ll get it. And I told my wife that and she was like, You’re cheating at Wordle? I was like, Well, it’s just I just don’t want it to sit in my head all day. Because I don’t think there’s a way to just give up and get the answer. And I go, I don’t want it to ruin my day. And she goes, But be honest, when you go and you read what it is, do you still enter it in so it keeps your streak alive? I said, Yeah, of course I do. Of course I’m gonna punch it in and keep the streak alive.

Cheese [00:52:04] I just remembered at work we have a similar thing called the Worldle and it’s like the outline of a country. And I can never get it. Can never get it.

Chris [00:52:17] Wait. And what are you trying to get? Are you allowed to talk about this? This may be a secret government program that you can’t tell us about.

Cheese [00:52:23] Now it’s a game. Although actually no, they took it away because it was too fun and they didn’t want us having fun, so they took it down. But it used to be exactly like the Wordle except it was a Worldle and it would have like an outline of, like Venezuela, and you had to guess which country it was. But never get it.

Bean [00:52:41] I could never do that one.

Chris [00:52:42] Geography guessing game and Wordle spin off. How to play Worldle. Okay, I’m going to have to look that up later. Man, I’m fascinated.

Bean [00:52:49] Geography is the one thing that we don’t have between the two of us in our knowledge base. Not good at geography.

Chris [00:52:56] Okay.

Cheese [00:52:56] No, nobody in our family is good at geography, so I don’t know. That one just missed us.

Chris [00:53:02] Okay, you’re just good at everything else. You trade in geography for everything else.

Cheese [00:53:09] I’m not good at volleyball. Bean, are you going to volleyball?

Bean [00:53:13] I am on a volleyball team, so I’m okay. (ALL LAUGH).

Cheese [00:53:21] I forgot about that, how’s that going?

Bean [00:53:22] I’m not great. It’s just like a little team with my friends. We play…

Chris [00:53:35] (HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING). Wow. You two are pretty down to earth and down to talk for people of your- You clearly are very, very smart and accomplished people. And yet you still seem to have good heads on your shoulders. So kudos to you for that. It’s a reflection of being raised right, I think.

Both [00:53:51] All Mom and dad.

Cheese [00:53:52] Shout out to them.

Chris [00:53:53] Did you both just say all mom and dad at the same time?

Cheese [00:53:58] Yeah.

Chris [00:53:59] Ew. That’s disgusting.

Cheese [00:54:01] Ew. Ew to you, Chris. Ew to you.

Chris [00:54:06] I’m just kidding. I’m the one who said kudos to your mom and dad. I had to call it out. I still got to get the laughs around here. Somebody’s got to get the laughs. We can’t all be monitoring the development of the nuclear capabilities globally. Okay, somebody’s gotta get the laughs once in a while.

Cheese [00:54:22] I’d like to point out, I’m not doing that right now. I drove all the way home.

Chris [00:54:25] I got to say, it makes it more distressing, like when it started and I was like, okay, clearly you’re a young person and you buzzed off from work for the call. That’s cool. Now that I know you’re someone who has your finger on the pulse of global nuclear safety, I don’t know that I love that you just went home and chilled in sweatpants.

Cheese [00:54:42] Yeah, I’m going back. I’m going back. But the only reason I’m going back- and if you’re my boss listening to this, I’m so sorry. The only reason I’m going back to work today is because I have a ping pong tournament that I got to go to.

Chris [00:54:54] They do ping pong tournaments at your work?

Cheese [00:54:57] Yeah. We just started. We got a new gym and it has some ping pong tables. So I’m pretty excited.

Bean [00:55:03] That’s something. That’s something we’re both good at. We’re both good at ping poing.

Chris [00:55:07] Do you ever play double- do you ever play doubles together?

Bean [00:55:10] No, never doubles. But we had a ping pong table growing up, so we’d always just play against each other. Pretty good a tthat one.

Chris [00:55:17] Wow. Have you ever thought about who would play you in a movie?

Bean [00:55:24] Ooh, that’s a good question because you have to think like, is it going to be one actor like Lindsay Lohan or is it going to be like Dylan and Cole Sprouse?

Cheese [00:55:33] I think it should be Dylan and Cole Sprouse.

Bean [00:55:35] That’s my answer. I mean what other twins are there?

Cheese [00:55:37] Tia and Tamera.

Chris [00:55:42] So you’d prefer- You’d prefer the accuracy of twin actors over the accuracy of those actors being a different gender than the one you’ve been assigned.

Bean [00:55:57] We also just really love Dylan and Cole Sprouse. We think- we were them for Halloween.

Cheese [00:56:04] Yeah, we were.

Bean [00:56:05] And we we’ve decided that in terms of Dylan and Cole’s personality, I, Bean, am more like Dylan and Cheese is more like Cole.

Cheese [00:56:16] Yeah.

Chris [00:56:17] I can’t even imagine. But I have. I bet you have a whole list of reasons.

Both [00:56:22] Yeah.

Bean [00:56:23] We’ve worked it out. We’ve worked it out.

Cheese [00:56:25] You wouldn’t get it.

Chris [00:56:27] Okay. No need to flex. No need to flex.

Bean [00:56:29] Cheese, the Lindsay Lohan thing would be kind of cool. Remembered when we were watching a TV show with our dad and there was a Disney show about twins, and our dad was like trying to be like on our side. And he was like, they don’t even look like twins. And it was the same it was the same girl like doing a Lindsay Lohan.

Cheese [00:56:50] I don’t remember that?

Chris [00:56:54] Wow. Wow. All right. All right. I want to hear the Cheese and Bean hour. I want to get it going. I think this needs to happen.

Cheese [00:57:04] What should be our first topic of conversation for this new podcast venture?

Chris [00:57:10] Well, it all depends. If you want to go with Bean’s idea, which is in-depth or complex or Cheese’s idea of simple chit chat. That really. That really will define a lot of what it comes down to.

Bean [00:57:24] I think it could be both. You know? If we like started out with chit chat.

Cheese [00:57:25] I feel you, Bean.

Bean [00:57:28] And then dive into the the listener questions. That’s assuming that we would have listeners, thought, so…

Cheese [00:57:38] I’d listen. I’d listen, Bean! I’d listen to you talk, and then you listen to me talk. So there’s two listeners right there.

Bean [00:57:48] And then together we’ll have two listeners.

Chris [00:57:51] Now, is this weird to say and have you ever gotten this before? I was saying before that I felt like cheese had like a slight like South Jersey, Philly, maybe Baltimore accent, but Bean, I don’t hear it with you. Like even right there, Cheese going, Bean, I’d listen to you talk. You’d listen to me talk. I hear it. But Bean, I don’t feel like you have the same affectation.

Cheese [00:58:13] It depends on the day because sometimes it comes out of me. It’s funny because I grew up and I never thought I had even the slightest inkling of an accent. But then as soon as I move to Chicago, my friends call me out for it all the time. They’re like, it’s like when I say coffee, water. It’s when I’m like, really passionate about what I’m talking about. Then I’ll just like, get into this, the whole South Jersey accent. It’s just, you got to catch me at the right moment.

Chris [00:58:41] Your dad must really have a Jersey accent because you both have a little bit more of a Jersey accent than even I have at this point in life. Because I used to-

Cheese [00:58:49] He’s from West Orange.

Chris [00:58:50] He’s from West Orange?

Cheese [00:58:53] Yeah West Orange.

Chris [00:58:54] Your dad’s from West Orange?

Bean [00:58:56] Yeah. Aren’t you from West Orange?

Chris [00:58:57] That’s where I’m from! You just gonna drop that with three minutes left?

Bean [00:58:59] That must be why he loves you so much.

Chris [00:59:03] Wait, you’re just going to drop that at the tail end. But is he from up the hill or down the hill?

Both [00:59:06] Oh, I’ve no idea.

Chris [00:59:08] If he’s Italian, he’s probably from the valley. That’s down the hill. Solid. I like that. That’s weird to know. There’s, like, a high percentage chance that I know your family. Or, like, know your cousins. That’s weird.

Bean [00:59:21] Maybe. That would be pretty interesting. If it didn’t have to be anonymous then we could go through the relation and see who we know. But, you know, I bet, I bet we do have a connection. We’ve got that, that Jersey connection.

Chris [00:59:33] Do you have family in West Orange?

Bean [00:59:34] Don’t know if they’re- I don’t know the Jersey cities too well. They’re definitely still in Jersey, but I don’t think they’re still in West Orange.

Chris [00:59:42] Okay, that’s crazy that I was in- I instantly recognized some commonalities to the accent, and it turns out it’s because it’s the same exact one that I was raised with.

Cheese [00:59:51] Love that.

Chris [00:59:53] Jeez.

Bean [00:59:54] So much in common.

Cheese [00:59:56] I was thinking the same thing. We’re like triplets.

Bean [01:00:00] Christ Gethard, honorary triplet.

Chris [01:00:04] Like you’re Bean and you’re Cheese, and I’m the guacamole.

Cheese [01:00:09] Um, you’re the prosciutto.

Chris [01:00:12] Wait. That doesn’t go with beans and cheese at all.

Cheese [01:00:14] What goes… what goes with bean and cheese?

Chris [01:00:17] Guacamole, like I just said.

Bean [01:00:20] Yeah. Okay, you can be the guacamole.

Chris [01:00:23] Well now I’m completely unenthusiastic about guacamole as my nickname.

Bean [01:00:27] It’s a little long.

Cheese [01:00:27] Could you please be our guacamole? We’ll call you Guac.

Chris [01:00:32] I believe you both said that you’re 25?

Bean [01:00:35] Ish.

Chris [01:00:36] About to turn 20. Imagine that if it’s like two 25 year olds, if we all enter a room together and you’re like, hi, I’m Beans! I’m Cheese! And then I, a balding 42 year old man, just goes, I’m uh hi, I’m, I’m, hi, I’m guacamole. Can you imagine the awfulness of that for everyone who witnessed it? Yeah. I can’t be guac. I can’t be guacamole.

Bean [01:00:57] And I feel like Bean and Cheese, like Bean and I would be like, so confident with it too. We’d be like, in the front with our hands on her hips, like superheroes, like I’m Bean. I’m Cheese.

Chris [01:01:10] And I’d be behind you like, like I’d be like, dropping stuff out of my son’s diaper bag and then, like, going to pick it up off the floor and accidentally dropping even more and being like, not being able to make eye contact with everybody, just waving them off like, I’m Guacamole. I’m Guacamole. Let’s everybody move on. Well, we have 30 seconds left. This has been an all time great.

Cheese [01:01:31] No!

Chris [01:01:31] All time great. What are our closing words to the world from our genius twins? Our new friends who are geniuses and twins?

Bean [01:01:39] I hope everybody has a nice day.

Cheese [01:01:45] Yeah, I agree with that sentiment. Happiness is the most important thing in life. Hope everybody has a great day. Hopefully the-.

Bean [01:01:53] Especially Chris.

Cheese [01:01:54] Especially, Chris. Guacamole. Hopefully the twin thing wasn’t too confusing.

Chris [01:01:59] I figured it out pretty quick, I think. You guys are the best.

Bean [01:02:02] Yeah, you did well.

Cheese [01:02:03] You did good. You did a good job.

Chris [01:02:05] I tell you, this is this has been one of the most fun times I’ve ever had on the phones in the history of this show. I got to thank you two for it.

Bean [01:02:12] Oh, yeah Chris, thank you for talking.

Cheese [01:02:14] Thank you so much. This is like one of our bucket list items as twins was to go on this show. So the fact that we could do it today was very nice of you.

Bean [01:02:23] The fact that we could do together.

Cheese [01:02:25] Well, thank you, Chris.

Chris [01:02:31] Bean, Cheese, I hope you get that podcast going someday. I hope that you bring more of your delightful energy and thoughts into the world. And I send nothing but love to you and your family and God bless your boyfriends when they sit down at that family dinner full of physicists and engineers. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you to Anita Flores for producing the show. Thank you to Marcus Hahm for engineering the show. Thank you to ShellShag for our theme music. If you want to know more about me, including live dates that are coming up, including live tapings of Beautiful/Anonymous, ChristGeth.com for all those ticket links. Wherever you’re listening to the show, there’s a button that says subscribe or favorite or follow, something along those lines. When you hit that button, it helps us so much. So please consider doing so. If you want our merch, it’s at PodSwag.com. There’s mugs, shirts, posters and a whole lot more. If you want ad free episodes of Beautiful/ Anonymous, check out Stitcher premium. You can use the promo code stories for a one month free trial at Stitcher.com/premium.