EP. 346 — Madame Web LIVE!

Paul Scheer [00:00:00] Hello, people of Earth. Before we start today’s show, some big announcements. First of all, How Did This Get Made is coming to Boston on Sunday, June 16th. That’s right on Father’s Day. We will be at the Wilbur Theater. Tickets go on sale Friday, May 31st at 10 a.m.. But if you’re listening to this before then, you can access a special fan presale using the code: BONKERS. That’s right. Use that code. Go to HDTGM.com for all the ticket info. And secondly, I want to thank you all for purchasing my book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma. I have been completely blown away by all the support. We had a completely sold out book tour, and your response to the book has really meant the world to me. If you have not gotten the book, go get the book. You can get it wherever books are sold, ebooks are sold, or even audiobooks. And yes, I recorded the audiobook. And yes, the audiobook is full of amazing goodies from How Did This Get Made and even my own home videos. But I just wanted to say thank you all for supporting me. It means the world to me. And I have one more small favor to ask. If you are enjoying the book, if you want to just send some more goodwill, write a review on Amazon or on Goodreads. It really does help and it will be like your own second opinion. All right. That’s all I got. Enjoy your episode on Madame Web.

 

Audience [00:01:22] We were in the Amazon with your mom and we were researching spiders right before she died.

 

Paul Scheer [00:01:27] We saw Madame Web. So you know what that means.

 

Music [00:01:36] [Intro Song]

 

Paul Scheer [00:02:21] Hello, people of Earth. Hello, people of the Amazon. And hello, people of Largo. We are live in Los Angeles for the movie event of the century. I am talking about the 2024 film Madame Web. Her web connects them all. By them all. Three other people. All right, so what do you need to know about this movie? Well, it’s about a, a Queens paramedic played by, just that, just the idea that she’s a Queens paramedic. Dakota Johnson plays a Queens paramedic who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyance and forced to challenge revelations about her past. She needs to safeguard three young women from a deadly adversary who is completely ADR’d, and wants them destroyed. Why? Not really clear. There are so many things that that is the quickest way I can at least explain the basis of this plot. Have you? Do you need to see a Spider-Man movie to understand it? Absolutely not. Do you need to know anything about Marvel movies to understand it? No. Do you need to know anything about spiders? I’m going to say that can also go out the window. Really, the only thing you need to know is Queen’s geography. Because someone’s going to have to tell me where the fuck that forest was. I don’t know how they got there. My dad lived in Queens. I lived on Long Island. You’re not getting to a forest that dense that quickly. No way. All right, we will figure that out. And more. But first, please let me welcome my co-host. Please welcome Mr. Jason Mantzoukas.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:24] Oh. What’s up, Jerks!? Yes! Happy web day. It’s happening. We’re doing Madame Web. Bonjour. Oh, shit. This is real. Wow, wow, wow. I just finished the movie backstage, and, guys, I just found out we can stay here. Great news. We can stay here until 3 a.m.. That’s how much I need to talk to you about Madame Web.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:01] But you know what? Before we get too much into Madame Web, we must bring out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:07] Bonjour Madame.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:08] Our resident Marvel expert. A lover of the graphic novel. Please welcome Mrs. June Diane Raphael! Hello, June. How are you?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:31] I’m well. Paul, how are you?

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:33] I’m okay. Thank you for asking. Well, Madame Web.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:38] Madame Web.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:40] What a rich text.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:44] I, I want to get something out of the way real quick.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:47] And everybody take a breath and don’t judge.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:53] Oh, I did enjoy this movie. Okay, so, yes, that’s not what I was going to say.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:57] To be clear. To be clear, I’ll jump to the end. I do recommend this movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:03] I have to be honest. So do I. Yeah. It went down really smoother than I ever expected it to go.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:11] I mean, Paul, I cried two times.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:14] I cried once, I did. I love, I loved it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:20] I mean I like, I mean oy oy oy.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:24] Let’s just talk let’s just talk about what happened to the baby.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:28] Okay. I have a lot of questions about how that baby delivered by spider people in the water cave.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:35] Entered the foster system? Yeah, me too.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:39] In Queens. In Queens.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:44] Keep her in the jungle. What are we doing? Let them raise her.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:50] Tarzan. Right? There’s no reason why that baby needs to be shipped back. A motherless baby need to be shipped back.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:58] Okay, so the baby survives, the baby survives. And the baby.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:03] The baby has gotten some of the spider venom.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:06] Special juice.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:07] Special juice.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:08] Because the mother gets stung while she’s the baby is still inside.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:12] Not stung. The mother gets shot.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:15] No, no. Oh, yeah. But then the spider gives her the Uma Thurman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:19] Oh, right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:21] When she’s in the hot milk bath. I wasn’t expecting that quickly to be that turned on.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:29] I also the amount of water and spiders that were put together I was like. Interesting combo. Spiders are into water? It doesn’t seem right.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:40] It doesn’t seem like it’s their place.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:41] It seems like water is actually detrimental to spiders and webs.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:45] You’re gonna tell me you’re gonna establish a culture of spider people that live in the Amazon in the first ten minutes of the movie, and we then are like, the rest of the movie takes place in New York City. And this is the most interesting thing in the movie unquestionably.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:02] And the most interesting period, 2003.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:08] Two years after 9/11. She’s an ambulance driver, two years after 9/11. She’s seen some shit.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:16] We’re going to talk about her work as an ambulance driver.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:21] Could we talk about Peru for a second more?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:23] Yeah, well, what I’m obsessed with is honestly what we didn’t see, which is that transition into foster care. Yeah. Now later on, she will say she will. This movie is kind of propaganda for foster care because she will say that somehow she had a a great experience.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:42] She’s very positive. When she is given the responsibility to take care of three orphans.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:50] But can you imagine a newborn but a newborn baby entering foster care? Yeah, yeah. Those babies are scooped up pretty quickly.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:59] Fully scooped.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:00] Oh, and this is something that’s very troubling. But the babies get scooped up right away. The kids who enter foster care later age. They you know, they stay in foster care. So the idea of her as a newborn baby just continuing to move around foster care and then not having ever gotten adopted, it’s there’s a lot of questions. There’s a lot of questions. And I started to think like, did you burn a house down as a seven year old? Like, why were you not placed in a permanent home?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:31] I would believe if it late in the movie there was a reveal that she was a serial killer, just as I was like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:37] It just doesn’t make sense.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:38] I was like, is she a villian?

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:42] Oh, I’m so sorry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:43] Oh, God.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:45] I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. I just was getting some Pepsi.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:50] Listen, okay, here’s a question. What? What is the inciting incident in this movie?

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:59] Well her falling in the water.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:00] Why?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:02] It seems to awaken the web vision. Web world.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:08] This is the worst.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:10] Water?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:10] Oh, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:11] She has no strength. She can just see a couple seconds into the future. But then at the end of the movie, she doesn’t see that. Like her reaction actually fucks up something.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:22] She kills those people in the helicopter.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:24] Oh, yeah, she gets those people. She gets those people iced.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:28] I guess I guess it only gives you like a choose your own adventure.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:33] Those people die. Her friend who’s the ambulance driver dies, who she works with. But she saves that pigeon. Oh thank God, thank God she saved the pigeon and not any of those people. We don’t need first responders. We need pigeons.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:50] I, I still am. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:55] But you’re right. What is the incident? Who knows? Because the inciting incident, I believe, is the spider bite that infects her in the womb.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:04] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:05] That is what connects her to her entire spider heritage and allows her to do a. It allows her to both be present in her mother’s past in a vision, and then physically be there in order to be able to hug her mother.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:21] I cried, oh yeah, I cried. That is beautiful.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:25] I mean.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:27] Our son, our seven year old did turn to me during that and was like, why are you crying?

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:36] I’m still stuck at this one moment in the movie where Madame Web meets with, the three other orphans in the woods outside of Queens.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:45] Oh my God.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:48] Estoria?

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:48] At Flushing. You know, the big, that.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:52] Que Gardens?

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:54] So they’re in that that that wooded area and she’s like, I know you. You live in my building. Okay, interesting. You know, I know you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:04] Sydney Sweeney says you the paramedic who rescued my stepmom. Right?

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:09] Right. She’s like, you rescued my stepmother. The other one’s like, you live in my building, and you leave junk mail and we have to throw it away. And then she’s like, I don’t know how I know you. And then Madame says, you flip me off and you’re like, oh, cool. But there’s no okay. It just seems coincidental. Like, it doesn’t seem like I was like, oh, so no larger?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:33] Why are they connected in the web?

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:36] I mean, there’s.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:37] Well, I guess that was my question. I thought you two would be able to answer. Like in the world of Marvel. What are what? Because I kept on saying to our seven year old, he was like, well, when do they get their powers? I was like, soon.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:47] Nope.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:47] We’re going to see them. Just wait, wait wait wait wait.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:50] I did think, especially because they give us the scenes in, is it Ezekiel? Is that it is.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:59] Ezekiel Sims? Yes. (Deep Voice) My voice will be like this. Sometimes I don’t even need to move my mouth for me to tell.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:07] He does it all ADR. His entire performance. I would believe you if you told me a different actor did it because it’s so heavily ADR’d.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:15] I have gotten confirmation. It’s definitely him, but I think that the reasoning underneath why his voice sounds like this is because he’s saying, fuck you for making me rerecord all my dialogue.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:26] Wow. Incredible. But so in his vision, he has spider vision or whatever it’s called. And I’m sure we can find a Morgan out here. We call it a Morgan. Now, where we can, we can probably find a Morgan who knows exactly about Madame Web and her connection.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:42] I have it, yeah, I have all the connections. Okay. In, well, in the comics, Madame Web is an elderly woman. Yes. Right. You know that. And the reason why she is called Madame Web is because she’s hooked up to a life support system that looks like a big spider web. And, yeah, that that’s a big difference.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:03] And she is. I do know.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:06] This is her origin story?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:07] This is her power. Her power set is the ability to see the potential futures that could go. That could happen. Right?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:14] Very much like a Doctor Strange kind of a thing. And then Ezekiel Sims is just, a rich businessman who gained some powers through a ritual. But he doesn’t have the same powers as Madame Web, which he doesn’t.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:33] He seems to have Spider-Man’s powers.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:34] But they also say, like he was cursed. I’m, like, pretty cool curse.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:39] Like, when? I want. I want to understand his curse. And is he trying? He doesn’t even. Here’s the thing. He’s so obsessed with these three girls and them killing him. He doesn’t even care that he’s cursed? He doesn’t seem to understand. I would think that would be priority number one. Wait, I’m cursed?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:54] And and also I think it’s tough. And again, I really like this movie. So take this for you know, this is my I guess only criticism. But it’s tough when our villain doesn’t have a bigger goal. Like he’s.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:07] No goal.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:08] He’s not trying to take over the city, he’s not trying to unleash some sort of toxin and say he’s just trying to stop these three specific girls who to us are adorable. Yeah. And like from killing him at some point in the future.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:26] And they’re going to get much older. So he doesn’t have time. It’s not like time is of the essence.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:29] He’s a gray haired man in his vision. When he’s gray haired, that’s when. But the other thing is, in these movies, usually the villains plan is is unfolds in stages and each one seems to ratchet up this the stakes, you know, heightening, heightening. So by the time we get to act three, it’s the Joker has put a bomb on a ferry and bah bah bah bah bah. Right. But in this movie, he’s just like, I gotta kill a bunch of teenagers. This is getting embarrassing.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:00] Yeah. And he’s like, you might be Constance’s daughter, but nonetheless, I still got to kill these teenagers.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:06] Zosia Mamet should be dead 45 minutes in. She has failed him. He needs to get this shit done.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:14] He is a benevolent businessman, which we never understand what business he’s in. But my favorite part. And I guess this movie is trying very hard to like, like, do, like narration that you might read in the book and they’re trying figure, How can we do it? You know, it’s like it’s like almost like video game narration. It’s like, a note, what does that say? And he sits down next to that woman that he has sex with. And he’s like, so let me tell you, I do have these visions every night. I’m an older man. These three women come in and they kill me. I have it all the time. You don’t know how scary it is that, like, he monologues at her and I’m like, this woman’s gonna grab her mace.She’s like, I’ve. I’ve slept with an insane person.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:57] Well, he knows she’s about to die. He knows she’s about to die because he’s infected her with his toxin.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:03] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:03] You know, so that he can get her information.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:06] He can say whatever he wants at that point.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:08] His entire plan is steal facial recognition software from the NSA in order to find out the identities of the three masked heroes who are teenagers now, who are going to kill him in the future.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:23] But.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:24] And we loved it?

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:27] And the only images he has of them.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:30] Are self-generated?

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:33] The only images that he has of these three people are through a mask that then he would have to describe this, to Mamet. Like you’d have to say, okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:45] Yes. Like he’s working with a sketch artist in a police station.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:49] Like, imagine what the skin that he has to use is so minimal. It’s really just eye and a little lip.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:58] I wish we had in that scene, of him working with the sketch artist.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:04] It’s like it’s, it’s, it’s like a spider on the front of.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:08] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:09] She’s wearing something with a spider on it? Yes. And then she’s like, this seems like a comic book. Like, I would love it if she was like, these are these seem like heroes. Are you a villain?

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:25] Also why the fuck does this guy have a costume?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:28] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:29] He doesn’t need a costume. He doesn’t do anything except kill kids and not even kill kids. Three. Three kids. And he doesn’t even do that, really.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:37] We have no frame of reference for that. He says he keeps saying they’re going to take everything I’ve built away from me, but we never find out what that is.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:48] What did he build?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:49] Who is he? Why do we care?

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:52] And also, again, he seems to have more powers than anyone. And no side effects. Morbius. You know, in a wheelchair. Then he has this, you know, Morbius power. It’s Morbin time he gets to go up there and do his thing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:06] Venom. I get venom. Venom is a symbiote from outer space.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:09] He gets to be a doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This guy seems to be Spider-Man.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:15] And bad Spider-Man. He seems to be Spider-Man as a villain, but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything as Spider-Man except he’s not using his powers. He’s not out at night stealing, robbing, doing anything. He’s just trying to murder the girls.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:28] He seems like whatever money he is raising is to buy the most advanced technology for 2003 to do facial recognition technology. Now, I’ll say this as well. What bums me out really about this is this is not even really Spider-Man. It’s not even in the Spider-Man universe. It’s like deeper tier. This is like three tiers removed from Spider-Man because at least Venom is in. Technically, venom exists in the Peter Parker world.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:56] So does Web Madame.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:58] I did say to you, Paul, because I said to Paul while we were watching, I said, is Spider-Man. Is Spider-Man like a part of this? He goes, no.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:06] Oh, not this movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:07] No, no, no, I know what like a part of.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:10] Well, I mean, we see his birth. Peter Parker is born in this movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:15] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:16] So Peter Parker, that baby that’s born.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:19] Picked a peck of pickled peppers. Adam Scott’s name is Ben Parker. Yeah. And so Emma Roberts is his sister, who now, I guess we didn’t meet Richard. Shouldn’t there be an aunt May?

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:34] Well, I think that Ben marries May, but something awful.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:41] Something happened.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:42] He’s Uncle Ben, sorry.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:44] So something terrible has happened to Emma Roberts character. I thought she was going to die in childbirth. Now, I’ll tell you this much. This movie does two things that make me angry. One, Adam Scott. Great. Like I watch one of the best. Always lifting up the movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:02] I’ll say it. I didn’t care for him. I didn’t I didn’t care for him.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:08] But they go. They go so far out of their way to do this scene over Chinese food where Adam says, I met this girl, pretty serious? Right? And you’re like, oh, so now I feel like, okay, what? And I’m like, oh, we’re going to see that. Maybe it’s, Mamet, right? And oh, he’s like connected to the bad guy or some version of it would make a reveal, a reveal of anything I’ll take at this point. But no, it’s just he’s dating.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:37] Yeah. Well, and I do think that is Aunt May. I think we are meant to believe.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:42] No, that’s his sister.

 

[00:21:43] No no no no no. He is dating someone who’s out of town. He later says his girlfriend’s going to be out of town.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:49] Okay, so, so.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:51] But, you know. But but to Paul’s point, there’s no there’s zero complications in this movie. It’s the craziest thing. And, you know, again, we never find out who those girls become. Who are they?

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:02] Well, I mean, can I just say one more thing about this dating relationship thing? I think that might have been a studio note to be like, oh, well, you guys should have some chemistry together and you guys should get together.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:12] They were fucking. They were they were they they intimate. They intimate that they were fucking.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:17] Okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:18] That’s what I’m saying. Hey, just so you know, I’m seeing someone now, so.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:21] I didn’t pick up on that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:23] I can’t be that “u up” text anymore.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:26] Okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:26] Right?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:27] Okay. It’s so hard.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:31] Wait a minute, am I right? Am I wrong? Okay.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:37] I didn’t get that sexual tension

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:39] No, I didn’t read that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:42] I mean, did you read it when she said, hope the spiders were worth it, mom. It’s crazy how much exposition she does while talking to herself. I talk to myself constantly, but what I’m not doing is exposition. Because guess what I know? What’s going on.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:03] Now I will give her though. She has an incredible comedic scene where she tries to crawl up that wall and I laughed hysterically.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:12] So so funny. Agreed fully.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:14] It was quite good.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:15] Loved it. I would have loved 1200 more of those. That’s the tone the movie should have had.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:21] And I’m trying to remember why she thought she was a spider.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:24] Because she reads her mother’s journal for the first time and finds out all the specifics about the spider people, including that they can climb up, that they can climb stuff, as she has seen with Ezekiel. So she’s like, maybe I can do that. And so she tries.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:39] Yeah. So she thought.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:41] How would I know? She says, like, how would somebody how would you know if you could climb?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:47] Funny. LOL. LOL.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:48] I mean wild stuff.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:52] Honestly like in an acting class, next level, just go to the wall and see if you can climb it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:58] Nothing has given her any of that feeling.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:05] So good.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:06] Also, it’s not clear that she has any powers. And so when she is like grabbing pieces of equipment and using as a shield, I’m like, is that just Dakota Johnson strength or is that like, I think it’s just Dakota Johnson, but I want to I have two answers for you. But one is this I think the director at one point said, just for fun, do it at ten. And I feel like this is the scene where she really acts.

 

Movie Audio [00:24:33] Your test results came back. I’m sorry to tell you that your baby has my works. It’s a genetic neuromuscular disorder.

 

Movie Audio [00:24:42] But I don’t have a neuromuscular disorder.

 

Movie Audio [00:24:45] Life expectancy varies. Do you need a tissue?

 

Movie Audio [00:24:48] No, no, I need a cure.

 

Movie Audio [00:24:50] I’m afraid there is no cure.

 

Movie Audio [00:24:53] Single target nucleotide intervention. It’s. It’s experimental, but there are some promising leads in the Amazon. That’s why you went there?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:01] Jesus Christ.

 

Movie Audio [00:25:03] I have to advise you against traveling in your condition.

 

Movie Audio [00:25:06] I’m sorry. What are you offering besides tissues?

 

Movie Audio [00:25:09] I know this is hard to accept.

 

Movie Audio [00:25:11] No, no, I am. I’m unwilling to accept a diagnosis of helplessness. And I’m not going to teach my daughter to either. You did it. You did it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:38] What?

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:39] Now I will tell you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:41] June, are you okay?

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:43] I will tell you this much. In watching the movie, that felt like a shock wave to me. I was like, wow, she really brought it. And then watching it isolated, I’m like, oh, I guess she was still low energy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:54] No, it’s crazy. It’s absolute insanity that this is what’s happening in the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:01] By the way, you could never diagnose that condition in the womb. And and I will tell you this, June, just so you know, I don’t want to answer your question. So, Sydney Sweeney is spider woman. She becomes spider woman, okay?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:17] Not Jessica Drew?

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:19] Well, that is, she just. Julia. Julia. Cornwall. Okay, which is Sydney Sweeney becomes spider woman, and then, Julia carpenter. Oh, no. Sorry. Not sorry. Then, Maddie Franklin. Well, I guess she’s also spider woman. Yeah. She is. And then.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:43] I’m going to has a guess. Spider-Woman?

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:47] She is Aranya. Okay. Which I think is just spider woman in Spanish. Instead of adopting spider woman, she took Aranya.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:02] In Ezekiel’s vision, we see the the three to the three who we meet as the teenagers in, I guess later in adulthood in their outfits with their powers fighting and killing him.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:14] What a fuck you this movie gives us.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:15] Right? And boy, did I think we would catch up to that scene. Or they would get their powers or those outfits or any of it. And none of it happened.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:25] We just give Dakota Johnson some cataract glasses, put her in Xavier Professor Xavier wheelchair and go. Happy now, assholes?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:37] We get we we get.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:38] Could not believe it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:40] It was not. It was a zero.When she gets into, like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:49] I couldn’t.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:51] When she gets into, like, bless you. So and so. Yeah. That way she’s just predicting things that are happening momentarily. Like that would be exhausting.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:01] When she said, I can see better than ever.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:06] I just want to go home and watch idol.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:10] And I thought that she.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:12] Was she a villain?

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:14] I thought that she meant Idol. That new show.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:18] The weeknd’s show?

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:19] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:20] That would be incredible if they cut to her alone in her apartment, feeding that cat, monologuing exposition. And in the background, it’s just the idol.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:31] But here’s what I did. Here’s what I mean. At one point, I, at one point, while I was crying, I did shout out the words. It’s so hard to be a teenage girl.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:42] You did.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:42] And I did. I just shouted.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:44] Especially if you’re 32.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:49] Now here’s here’s what works for me. We’re spending so much time on what didn’t work. Here’s what worked for me, I, I really did. I found it very compelling, this story about, yes, a 30 something year old woman who has to take care of these kids and.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:06] Has no maternal instincts.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:08] Has no maternal instincts.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:11] How do we know she doesn’t know how to deal with children?  It’s almost like there was a scene in a hospital it explained that she can’t deal with kids.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:18] But there was something about her intervening in their lives and them having their own trauma, all of them, and coming together and having four female leads where I was like, I’m sorry, I like this. I’m so sorry. I like what I’m seeing here. And and I wish that it had held up or there was more to it, of course. But that piece I was. So I thought, I really loved.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:44] I wanted to watch the movie where they’re a team, where they’re a team and they’re doing their thing. You know, that’s what I wanted to watch. And instead it was like, stay here, I’m going to Peru for a week to find the spider people in the jungle. Do you have the right stuff? I have a Jansport backpack that I wear over one shoulder, a grunge flannel around my waist. Will I get a guide? Absolutely not. I’m just going to use my mom’s old journals to walk into the Amazon and find the spider people. Oh, look, I did it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:17] But here’s the thing. Here’s the thing I know, I know that we have our Marvel source material to deal with, right?

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:26] Not that much.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:27] Not that much. Okay. Because. Because to me, a better movie would have been not not even this schism, any maternal instincts, but that she has this, like Arrested Development where she’s not an adult and so she has to step in when all of these adults have failed these kids. Like, that’s an interesting movie, to see her become an adult because she has to for them. But that’s not what we saw.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:49] But she’s so she’s so muted from T to B.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:54] I hate to break it to Scrooge, but you can’t change anything.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:58] Okay, I need to talk about this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:01] Sorry, I wrote down a bunch of lines.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:04] When she is in the doctor’s, dealing with her clairvoyance, the doctor says, go watch some old movies. It’s not Christmas time. And she puts on the Christmas carol. The old black and white one. Like, when do you watch that? It’s August Christmas Carol, and I think the only reason why she put on the Christmas Carol is because in The Christmas Carol, there are future visions.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:30] Yes. It’s it’s a template for her life story. You can either change and evolve and grow out of this future, or this is going to be your future. And those are the paths in the web of connectivity. Oh me me me me me me me me what? No, I just want to go home and watch Idol.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:56] Is she sassy? Because I feel like they write their character like as.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:00] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:01] Sassy.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:02] They’re like, brag much? And she’s like, I was bragging then.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:09] She doesn’t like anyone or anything. It’s a tough character trait.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:13] She’s a tough hang. When she’s it and when she’s at Emma Roberts is Bachelorette, no baby shower, and she puts in a blank slip for things that connect there to her mother, who she never knew. And Emma Roberts is like, whose this, this. And she’s like, oh, that’s mine. Oh, what’s this about? You left it blank, she’s like, oh, I didn’t know my mother. She died during childbirth. But I don’t mean that that’s going to happen to you. The death in childbirth happens very rarely. She chose to be in the Amazon during. Should I be talking right now? I seem like someone who doesn’t want to be the center of attention. But I can’t stop being the center of attention.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:55] Because think about it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:57] I loved it. Five stars.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:59] I loved it too. Because think about it, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:03] I’m thinking about it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:04] Because she didn’t have to put in anything. Like she could’ve just sat out and.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:08] She could’ve walked out and gone back to the barbecue with the guys have been like, what’s up?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:12] Or I could have just let that game play out, but instead she puts a blank paper down.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:19] You know what? This needs to be about me. She knows it’s going to get picked. Like every one of those slips gets picked.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:26] It’s so I mean, at least she had a Pepsi in her hand. She walked into that party, they forced the Pepsi onto her. The fact that Pepsi plays such a large part. So Marvel and Coke, that’s a thing. Marvel movies and Coke are tied together. Okay, so Sony goes Pepsi.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:48] Sony’s like, hold my Pepsi.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:49] Yeah. And then I guess somewhere along the way, they go. Wouldn’t it be cool if a Pepsi sign kills the villain? Like, what if.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:01] What if Pepsi was so powerful.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:02] That it kills the bad. Pepsi is the hero of this movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:08] 1000% Paul. And it’s not even like she shoots something or pushes something over that moves that giant Pepsi s. It’s like it does it of its own accord.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:17] And she and her act of heroism is knowing it’s going to fall into the future.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:25] Why does she I mean, I know that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:29] Do you think that alleviates her from the guilt of killing someone, that she didn’t push him in front of it? She just lured him where she knew he would be killed.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:39] Again, there were people in that helicopter you guys, like. Don’t forget them.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:43] And June. Not just people. EMTs. Because she does call, like we have an emergency transport situation.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:51] Those poor people. They’re like, we have no where to land. Like, I don’t know why you brought us here.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:57] Quick, head to the abandoned fireworks factory.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:02] Okay.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:04] That’s a fucking Warner Brothers cartoon.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:09] So much of it wasn’t even shown. It was just the audio of fireworks in the background.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:15] But those fireworks. What a crazy like to me. I was like, oh, she fucked up like she she fucked up. She shouldn’t have done that because those fireworks ended up almost killing her and the girls.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:27] Well, she’s blinded by a firework.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:30] She is. Underwater.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:31] I didn’t realize.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:32] An underwater firework blinds her.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:35] That’s how good they are.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:36] But thank God, thank God she has taught all three girls the only piece of health. The only piece of lifesaving. She’s taught them all CPR. Chest compressions are good for everything. Every single call she goes on as a paramedic. Chest compressions. You would think from this movie because there’s somebody, the EMT who gets injured in the ambulance and he’s covered in blood. He’s clearly has injuries and she’s just giving him chest. I believe he would have lived if she had treated she if she treated his actual injury.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:14] She pushed his heart out of his body.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:18] He had open wounds and she just was like chest compressions. The only thing I know.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:24] What if that’s our shirt “push here” like just hands. Like I will say this. And again, this movie, like one of the cool things that they do in that sequence is how they have to work together to do a chest compression because, you know, sometimes you get like tired. Somebody get in here, finish my chest compressions.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:44] After minutes. Well, after minutes they switch after every if you’re like five seconds.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:49] Yes, but I was I was actually glad as somebody who’s always up to date on her CPR, I was glad. Thank you so much. I was glad to see like yeah, people do get tired. If you’re doing it correctly, you do tire out pretty quickly. And so it is important for other people to come in on the beat.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:08] Absolutely.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:09] And by the way, I agree with all this, but it would also lead me to believe that at the end they would all take turns to revive her.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:19] Only two do. They do switch once.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:21] Why? After like two pumps.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:25] You’re calling them a two pump chump? You’re calling these teenage girls. Paul Scheer is calling these teenage girls two pump chumps? Wow. Blurb that on the book.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:42] The best part to me is like when they do explain stuff like she goes, don’t shake his hand for too long. It has a powerful neurotoxin. And then Sydney Sweeney goes. Then what happens?You’re dead.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:57] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:57] You’re dead.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:58] That’s what happens.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:59] What do you think is going to happen? That’s the crazy part.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:03] Neurotoxin. What? What happens then? Then you die. And then what? Then you’re given a choice. Heaven or hell or purgatory. Then what? You pick purgatory. Then what? This is an insane movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:27] Don’t you think after she crashes a taxi cab, they steal a taxi cab, crashes it into the diner? Right? They have. They. She has been accused of abducting these three girls. They know who she is. All of this stuff is happening. Wouldn’t there be people who would be on the lookout for a yellow cab with four women in it, like. And they are good. They’re bopping all over town.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:49] Well, I mean, who was that road stop truck driver who was like, I see the girls. Yeah. And then he calls, not the cops.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:59] Oh, no. He calls some sort of hotline that Zosia mamet is able to intercept.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:04] Yes, you’re right, you’re right.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:06] But they seem like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:07] Why him? You’re right. Why? Like that’s a scene in a movie where they would be, like in the diner and on the TV. Their pictures would be playing on the news and they’d be like, oh, we’re in trouble. Busted. But instead, it’s like a trucker’s, like, those are the girls.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:22] Yeah, like he had seen it earlier in the day. Had a photographic memory of these three girls.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:29] They were on this newspaper.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:31] But when they’re dancing on a table, nobody is like, aren’t those the girls?

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:35] Aren’t those those kidnaped girls that are being forced against.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:38] They’re like, oh, yeah, like what we like. What movie? Like, what do you want from me?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:44] I found it, I don’t know if anyone else notice this, but after the subway sequence and I really like that sequence, I really enjoyed it. After the subway sequence, when they are well, they should be running out of the subway. They all four of them walk like this out of the subway stairs. Moseying, strolling. Strolling away and I. And I think it’s hard because if I am those three other actresses, I see our lead number one on the call sheet walking like that. And I’m like, well, I’m not going to race past her. Like they all kind of adopted her energy at points. And it’s like, this man just tried to kill all of you seconds ago.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:30] But everyone is is walking at a leisurely amble.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:34] I have a I have a theory for the back half of the movie why she’s low energy. Jet lag.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:43] From from her trip to Peru and back? In a Cessna, she flies to Peru in a like a two seater Cessna from New York City.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:54] By the way, I like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:56] I’m so sorry. I don’t think so.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:59] I’m not even going to get into the fact that the photo that she’s using for reference is 30 years old. I’ll buy that. But how would you go? Take me to this photo. Like like to grant to that jungle?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:14] Absolutely. When Emma Roberts goes into labor, Adam Scott, who, again, I didn’t care for at all.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:21] You keep saying that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:22] It’s like, okay, I got to take you to the hospital. Obviously, I’m watching these three orphans who a Spider-Man character is trying to murder instead of having them stay in the house.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:32] Why do they go?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:33] You guys need to come with us. Come with us to the hospital, where there will unquestionably be cameras in myriad ways. Yeah. Every step of the way. Everybody in the movie is a moron. Everybody, when confronted with a choice, makes the dumbest choice. Every time. Every time I feel like, Dakota Johnson enters the web, the mind web, whatever that’s called, I feel like she’s kind of like, what is this? Like, no matter how many times it’s shown to her, she’s like, she comes. Keeps coming out of it. Like.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:11] Well, she she comes out of it mad like you just said that to me, you fucking jerk. Which is now the fourth time, you’re the problem.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:21] Like the first two times. Yes, but an hour and 35 minutes into the movies, you should be like. I know exactly what’s happening. I can activate, don’t worry. She’s like, what the?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:34] I found it troubling that the only way she uses that, like, the only way she tries to stop what’s what she sees in the future is with vehicles like there’s no other way.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:50] The pigeon.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:50] I guess the pigeon.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:52] But you’re right.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:53] But I was like, I can’t believe she’s back in a vehicle trying to.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:57] I mean, this might be the greatest stunt of all time. Arguably it takes place in 42nd Street, right? This is the vehicle driving. This is where her again, not her spider skills. Her EMT driving skills. Not. Yeah. Driving skills are big here. Here we go.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:41] You’re right. She can’t fight Ezekiel in any way, shape or form so she only hits him with increasingly larger vehicles.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:43:50] Yep. That’s it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:51] That’s it. Her fists are cars.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:55] Well, you know what they say until she takes on the responsibility, great power will come.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:03] Okay, so I want to talk about that because, when she. Is that what happens at the end in the Pepsi sequence? Where she, sort of webs herself?

 

Paul Scheer [00:44:19] Well, okay, let me walk you back. Just. This is maybe something that you don’t know from the Spider-Man world. There is a very famous phrase that is pretty much associated with spider man said in every version of the spider man movies.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:34] It’s an Uncle Ben quote that is like the touchstone of the spider man story.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:40] Okay. I love when two men are telling me about marvel movies. I love that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:45] Do you know what it is?

 

[00:44:45] I love it. No. No I don’t.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:52] It is with.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:52] With great power comes great responsibility?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:55] You just said it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:55] Oh, well. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:57] That’s the spider man. So for this. That is the mantra of the spider man story.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:04] What if we just switched it a little bit?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:06] I see what you’re saying.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:07] What if we inverted it?

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:08] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:09] Wow. I didn’t even realize that that came from that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:13] Like. Oh, can I admit something? That’s one of the moments that I teared up.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:20] What?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:22] Oh, I feel very connected to that line.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:27] And here it is, played out.

 

Movie Audio [00:45:30] You can’t save all three!

 

[00:45:34] And when you take on the responsability. Great power will come.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:40] It doesn’t fall off the tongue at all.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:43] It doesn’t roll off.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:44] Hear it again. Just hear it again.

 

Movie Audio [00:45:48] And when you take on the responsability. Great power will come.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:52] And when you take on the responsibility, great power will come. What?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:59] WIt’s like the movie, though. It’s like, I don’t know if I’m in the past or the present tense, I don’t know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:05] But yet, there are tears in my eyes and I’m inexplicably writing a five star review on Amazon.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:10] Wow, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:12] Thank you, Madame Web. You did it again.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:15] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:16] I mean, and that’s the other thing, too. There’s a whole part of me that thinks that now is Spider-Man cultural appropriation, because he’s clearly stolen his costume. Oh, like everything that I thought he was, like from these Amazon warriors. Yeah, he took that.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:30] I see.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:31] The phrase that he was given by Uncle Ben.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:33] Came from Madame Web.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:34] Uncle Ben botched it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:41] Madame Web said it first. I’m sure she’s going to say it to Ben Parker.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:46] It’s like when my Dad is trying to explain something to me. He’s like, yeah, you know, with great power comes great responsibility. I think that’s what she said. And then aunt May is like, no, she said, when you take on the responsibility, great power comes. Really?Like, that’s what this movie is hypothesizing. Ben heard it wrong.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:06] But what you’re telling me is that Adam Scott is currently falling in love with a young Marisa Tomei.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:19] No. No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:20] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:21] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:22] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:22] Tom Holland?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:24] She’s aunt May for Tom Holland.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:26] Oh, I guess you’re right. Well, I mean, this is right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:29] Yeah, he’s the age. He is the correct age to have been born in. What is this, 2003?

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:36] Yeah. Okay. You’re right. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:37] I believe that is Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:40] No no no no wait wait wait wait wait wait. No, that would be weird, because Marissa. Well, I guess Uncle Ben would be so old.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:52] Not so old because Marisa Tomei is not so old.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:55] But. But in 20 years from now, Adam Scott will be like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:01] It’s not 20 years from now. It’s 20 years from 2012.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:07] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:08] Well, no. No. What do you mean?

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:10] This movie takes place in 2003.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:12] Sure.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:13] So in 2024  Marisa Tomei is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:16] Marisa Tomei currently?

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:18] Currently. Like. So. How old is that?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:25] For those listening, June has gone home. I understand what you’re saying. I believe we’re meant to think that this is Tom Holland.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:36] But, I mean, I’m also going to say that in the Marisa Tomei/Tom Holland thing, there’s no Uncle Ben.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:41] Yeah. RIP a legend. I think Adam Scott is going to die.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:48] All right. Sorry June.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:49] Have you solved anything even?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:52] I loved when Dakota inexplicably had, like, a full on Steve Rogers shield moment where she takes like like like like like a piece of the roof. And it’s just like with the fireworks. Just like, knows where every fireworks going to hit. And he’s just doing straight up shield work.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:12] So, so just becasue I keep going back to the line again. But to go back to that moment of when she says if you accept your responsibility, then great power will come. Hmhm. Here’s the thing about movies like we want things to be dramatized, and there has to be some action to it, like nothing happens in that moment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:32] I believe she’s meant to be taking responsibility for these three girls.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:35] I understand that, but I’m also like. But there’s something needed to happen. What we should have seen is that she should have been about to make a selfish choice and then have come back to have really there is we’re we are expected to understand that from her going.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:53] Right, right. And you’re right like. Like I think that like she’s already made that choice for great response.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:00] No she had I don’t think she I mean yes and no, I think the movie is saying because I think that’s why they keep having her say, like, I’m going to send you back to your parents, I’m going to drop you off. I’m going to get rid of you. Baba, Baba. And here she’s like, no, they’re all all three of them are inexplicably hanging from roof beams.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:20] So you’re saying so you’re saying in that moment, okay, so what I would like here’s what I would buy. She has been doing that the whole time. But here’s what I would buy is if because what ends up happening is she does save all three. If much like a mother’s instinct, she can’t distinguish between who she is. I think maybe that’s what’s maybe what you’re going for. And so that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:45] He says you can’t save them all.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:46] Right. And so that is how she understands. But I’m having to put this together now.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:51] It’s also.  It’s also what the guy in Peru says to her is like, you don’t, the spider man in Peru, he’s like, you don’t know the power that you have yet. You haven’t yet. You, like, tapped into the true potential of whatever.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:07] But then but then I feel like there’s a part of me that believes that when she does tap into that power, she loses the spider power in a way, because then she becomes she becomes paralyzed. And, you know, she got hit in the face.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:24] She kind of becomes Doctor Manhattan. She kind of becomes like, I see everything. Everything is fine. Everything’s okay.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:31] But when I saw her in that wheelchair at the end, I was like, huh. I get the blind. The blind is cool. I’m like, this is like Daredevil. This is kind of cool. But that fucking wheelchair was like, that was an odd choice. I thought, maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:47] That’s the character in the comics.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:48] Well, but she’s hooked up to life support. She’s almost dying now. By the way. Did just do some research. At this point, Marisa Tomei. She’ll be 39. So it does make sense that Adam Scott would be there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:00] Thank you, Paul, for doing the research. If you could just send me any of those links for young Marissa Tomei or actually contemporary Marissa Tomei.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:10] So they actually would make a fine couple. I think, you know, they’ll be fine.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:20] I am honestly glad, we figured it out because we would have been working on it afterward and at home. And so I am actually glad that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:27] I get the bar graphs out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:29] What’s so interesting is. Yeah, no, I guess Uncle Ben doesn’t live long enough, but aunt May never says anything about Madame Web. She has to. That she is so close to Madame Web. You know what? Then she has Spider-Man as a nephew. And you would think she’d be like, hey, I know Madame Web.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:48] Well, all right, so in this world. In this world, Emma Roberts and her husband die.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:01] RIP.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:01] Rip on some fun adventure. Cruise ship disaster. Now. Then the baby is left with Adam Scott. Okay, I buy that. Sure. Then he dies. Then aunt May is like, fuck. All right, that’s my kid. Like. So he’s like, he’s very far removed from this family.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:21] Oh, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:22] Wow.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:22] Well, you don’t feel like an aunt. Even if you’re not a bloodh aunt, like you’re still an aunt.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:28] I just feel like I’m.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:30] Why don’t we use the term blood aunt more? Why isn’t that part of the cultural lexicon? Oh, that’s my blood aunt. That’s my not blood aunt.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:43] I would hope that with your nephews. Who are my sister’s children. Why the fuck would they be left with me? Like, not blood related to them.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:53] Whatever we make the T-shirts tonight, can we please just also make blood aunt and blood uncle t shirts?

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:00] Blood aunt. Blood uncle. No, I, I guess I guess what I’m just taking in is the amount of tragedy that has hit this family.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:08] Oh, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:09] Because it’s like, where’s Richard? And I’m gonna go, I’m going to go one step further and go, Richard never comes home. Richard was in a car accident. He missed his son’s birth. Oh, my God, we’re dealing with that. Then maybe a year or two passes. Something terrible happens to Emma Roberts, and then, like, okay. And then. Then we get Adam Scott, and he’s like, I got this baby. We’re going, this is going to be great. Maybe they rushed their marriage a little bit and Adam Scott’s never he is not super happy with May and he’s out late drinking. He gets hit by a cab and it’s like, oh my God, no God. Like, yeah, like, now I got this kid from this loveless marriage. I don’t even have a connection to his family because they’re all fucking dead. She’s got a lot of weight on her.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:55] Can I tell you something? And you know, who knows every one of those beats of life. Madame Web. She doesn’t stop any of that from happening. This bitch knows everything that’s going on in the future. She’s like, I’ll let you die. I’ll let you die. Everybody dies. Everybody dies so that I can get a Spider-Man.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:19] Let’s turn on the house lights here. I’ll go out to the audience, see what you all have to say. All right. What’s your name?

 

Audience Member [00:55:24] I am Jeff.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:26] Okay. Jeff, what’s your question?

 

Audience Member [00:55:27] So, first I want to say, in the comics, Madame Web is actually a mutant, so none of the Peru happened.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:33] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:34] Right. You didn’t care to mention that? For the first hour and 43 minutes of this podcast?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:42] Her powers are not spider related at all? She’s just a mutant? She’s an X-man? I mean, she’s in a mutant a la the X-Men.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:50] I didn’t want to, like, can get all nerdy with y’all. Like, it looks like it was enough to be like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:55] Why? Because you wanted to be cool. You wanted to protect your. You wanted to protect your cool guy image. I so I’m so sorry. You’re  like I don’t want to tell you about mutants in X-Men. I want to be cool.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:08] I just wanted to simplify that because they really do. Yeah. They should. She should be an X-Men. And I feel like somebody wasn’t minding the mint because Sony doesn’t have rights to the X-Men. And so I feel like they’re like they kind of snuck it in. Okay. But anyway, go ahead.

 

Audience Member [00:56:26] My question is regarding Ezekiel Sims and his lack of footwear, and I wanted to just see how we all felt about that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:32] My assumption on that, because I know. My my assumption is that, yeah, my assumption is that it’s so he can do his web crawling. You know, he needs his feet to be able to his hands and feet to be able to like, web crawl.

 

Audience Member [00:56:45] Right. But he uses footwear in his scuba outfits. Oh, so he’s just walking around New York City barefoot for fun.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:55] But that’s like a very rich person thing to do.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:00] And, you know, I guess you know how you know he’s in.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:02] The billionaire with no shoes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:04] You know how you know he’s rich? He drives a new Corvette. He’s got, like, 35 K to burn on a brand new Corvette. When he drove away in the corvette. I was like, this guy’s not a threat. This guy’s not a threat at all. He drives a base model Corvette. Get out of town, Ezekiel.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:26] All right, your name? Your question.

 

Audience Member [00:57:27] My name is Storm. And.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:29] Whoa.

 

Audience Member [00:57:31] When we first meet La Saragnas, they’re, like, covered in red paint and, like, rope or something like that. Fast forward 30 years later. They’re basically, no disrespect. Just like Jason right now. Like in a white button down.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:57:45] He said no disrespect.

 

Audience Member [00:57:48] I’m more so mean. Like who gentrified Peru?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:50] Wow. Storm. You’ve got a lot of nerve, Storm, you’ve got a lot of nerve. What if I just like. Like, like, with vines, shot up into the rafters?

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:07] So I have a theory on this. And again, this is for a larger, Substack article I’m writing. So I believe that Las aranas at the time of her mother’s death, were a part of that crew watching to make sure that the land was protected. And they. That’s like their Clark Kent superhero like that, their Clark Kent Superman kind of identity. So they’re in the world, but they’re also Spidermen. And so that’s how the baby gets back to the united states.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:40] Did they want her to take that spider?

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:44] I think that they understood that she was only there to help her baby. And by the way, best reveal of a baby ever. Like the way she lets up. But I believe that that culture was. This is again in my Substack, a very large 25 paragraphs just on this opening scene. I believe that that culture is like, you know what? Let’s have her get a bite by the spider so she can cure baby, cause she’s not trying to do anything more with the spider. She’s just trying to cure her baby.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:13] That’s what she’s trying to do. But I think when. When Dakota Johnson goes to Peru and meets with the guy and he’s dressed in normal street clothes, that’s reshoots. I think that is just reshoots. I think that is.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:26] But doesn’t he get in the clothes in the cave?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:28] Nope.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:29] Oh.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:30] He doesn’t get into any of that stuff like that he’s wearing. Like he’s dressed in street clothes, essentially interesting. And his everybody speaks just flawless American English.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:40] Oh, yeah, he did speak pretty good.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:42] Which I was like, I’m so sorry. This lost tribe of spider people is just like, hey, what’s up? You want to. You want to do spider shit? Oh, come take a milk bath. What’s up? Spider shit. Here. Amazon. Peru. Bye. Bye bye. What?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:01] Yes. Your name? Your question.

 

Audience Member [01:00:03] Stacey. And we, we’ve called them orphans a few times tonight, but none of them are orphans. And it was very concerning because one of them, their parents got deported, and nothing about it. One of them, she had a mom back in California, and her stepmom just didn’t like her.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:23] And yes, I believe her mother was institutionalized.

 

Audience Member [01:00:26] Her parents are rich.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:29] So it’s just runaways. R

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:32] They’re more like their their parents have like, like forsaken them.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:36] Yes, I.

 

Audience Member [01:00:37] Yeah I don’t know if their parents know they’re gone.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:40] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:43] Sydney Sweeney says she ran away. That’s for sure.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:47] After her mom died in the.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:48] No, her mother is institutionalized, right?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:51] Okay.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:52] Her mother’s institutionalized. But her dad, we just saw her with her dad.

 

Audience Member [01:00:56] And as a step mom, she has a step mom. But her mom is her real mom’s across the country. But then the one who has the parents deported had a little brother. I thought.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:08] Oh, god.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:09] Did she?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:13] No, I don’t think so, Stacy. I think she was alone in that apartment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:16] I think so I, I think I.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:17] I think the little brother with the picture was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:20] Was with Sydney Sweeney. Sweeney’s father’s new son.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:25] But but your point. Your point is a good one though.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:28] Five stars.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:29] And you guys. And you guys tried to stop me from getting Marissa Tomei’s age. How dare you?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:36] But you’re right. You’re right. They are the only.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:38] Are not orphans.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:40] I believe, is Dakota Johnson. But yet we don’t know who her father is.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:44] But yet the thing that remains is at the end of the film, you know, they’re all in the hospital room. They’re like family only. And she’s like, they are. Yeah, but that’s also like kidnaping on some level, too. They’re not that. They’re not family. They are not they are not family at all. And they all have active and rich families that they could probably buy great face recognition technology.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:11] I wish I knew what his whole thing was. Boy, would it have been more fun if he was like, if he had if there was any dimensionality to the villain, if I was like. Like, what is it like?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:21] He’s just long hair.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:23] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:24] You know, that’s it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:25] Yeah. And a voice, like this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:26] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:28] All right. Yes. Your name, your question.

 

Audience Member [01:02:30] Yeah. My name is Andreas. And, there was a scene in the diner scene specifically, they rig up Churchill. So it’s in Churchill, new Jersey, which I guess from New York to Churchill is 1500, 1600 hundred miles. Okay. Why is the Midtown High School team at this diner that is 1600 miles from Midtown?

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:50] By the way, I don’t think they have a midtown High School team. Also, as a New York City resident, I don’t think that they they have like PS145. Yeah, Midtown, I don’t know.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:01] I thought the casting of the, I actually thought about those guys at the table quite a bit because I really feel like, no, but that’s why I feel like they were trying to make them like hunky but not too old. But the actors were older, but they were playing high school students.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:19] Well, that was everybody. They had to match to the girls who were all 30-something.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:24] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:26] If they had cast actual teenagers as those boys, and these girls walked up to them. You’d be like, get these, get these guys out of here. These milfs are trying to fuck them. What is this, a cougar movie? Get. Get out of here.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:44] I bought them as teenage girls, though I didn’t. I didn’t blink an eye.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:49] And your question.

 

Audience Member [01:03:50] My name is Allison. I just wanted to put in a plug. As someone who also is up to date on their CPR. Every year, I implore you to take a professional course. Do not learn CPR from this movie. There was. I mean, not just like the, the taking breaks so quickly, you know, you’re not keeping up the pressure that way. But also the rate was way too slow. Yeah, there was some one handed CPR. She was not looking. She was not paying attention. She was doing CPR. And then suddenly the people were like, magically just okay. And yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:23] It’s really a but.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:24] You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Don’t worry about are you going to be okay. That’s what she says to that guy she’s giving CPR to.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:32] Let that be one thing you take away from this movie. Do not learn CPR.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:36] From watching it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:39] Maybe that’s the shirt. I learned CPR from Madame Web.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:42] That’s a great shirt, Madame.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:45] Madame Web CPR certified.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:48] Good. That’s it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:50] Okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:51] I guarantee you, I guarantee you within the year, if not already, there will be a news story about some kid saving someone’s life from using CPR they learned from Madame Web, I promise. And when that happens, you guys all owe me money.

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:12] I will just say this one thing, cause we did talk about this diner scene a lot, and I thought, this is interesting. So. The director wanted this film to be a commentary on toxic masculinity and how it’s a poison to strong, independent women. And Ezekiel Sims is a man who’s trying to kill three young women with toxic powers. This is clearly toxic masculinity, which is emphasized and why the film is set in 2004 or 3. For Britney Spears’ Toxic, which came out in 2004. So it’s weird, but the only so according to the producer, the filmmakers set the film in 2003 so they could feature the song Toxic.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:02] So this whole movie was just backing in to getting Toxic?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:08] Why did they need to be a new release? That song still exists now.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:14] Playing quite a bit.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:15] And I hear it all the time.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:16] Everybody knows that song.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:18] And the DJ does say that songs from Britney Spears and she’s going to be a big star. She already was. A very. I would argue that that was the apex of her career. Like you were predicting it. So there’s also been a lot of talk online that if that DJ was to play it, he was playing a deep track off of this Britney Spears album. So that that is interesting.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:42] How strange.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:43] Yeah, that is an interesting one.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:44] I hope all the second opinion songs are too toxic.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:50] Let’s hear some second opinions right now. That’s right. We have opinions about this movie or there are people out there with a different opinion. It’s now time for second opinions.

 

Audience Member [01:07:05] Madam Webb. Madam Webb does whatever a spider can’t. Driving skills ADR. Adam Scott. CPR. Look out! Here comes five stars.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:21] Great job.

 

Paul Scheer [01:07:23] That was great. Oh! Hold on. Take this. Sir. Take all these Pepsis. Give me to your friend. You did a great job.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:33] Wow. All right. Only four more hours left in this show.

 

Paul Scheer [01:07:40] Here we go. Madame Webb came out this year. There are, just a thousand reviews on Amazon. And as we’ve found with movies that come out the same year that we do them, there’s not that much to pull from. We’ve been finding the letterboxes a lot better for the more recent films. And this one, goes like this by Felix. “Villain is too scary. Couldn’t finish it. Five stars.”

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:14] I wish that they that they were specific in that they thought that, Madame Web was the villain.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:21] John Thynder writes “Genuinely makes no sense how people think the line in the trailer. He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died. Is bad. How? It’s telling us what’s going on. It’s necessary to the plot. They say it’s unnatural, which, no, that’s how people talk. Five stars.” And then, the last one from Egghead human, egghead human writes “These girl bosses are slaying. Five stars.”

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:12] Incredible.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:13]  Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:13] So, I wish the team was called the girl bosses.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:19] The whole cast came out against this movie in a crazy way.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:24] That’s terrible.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:25] Like. I mean, Dakota Johnson said this film is unrecognizable from the version that I saw the script of. She. Yeah, she told people not to go see this movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:37] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:38] Multiple times. When those people were on the red carpet, they said, this movie opens on Valentine’s Day. What do you want to tell people to do? She said stay home. Go to sleep.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:50] No way.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:51] Sidney Sweeney said I’m going to go to sleep. Like I’ve never seen so many people that are in a movie shit on a movie. When it was in the theater, they’re like nope.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:05] But we would like you to reconsider. Yeah, because this was dynamite.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:13] I liked it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:14] Loved it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:14] I did too. I did too, and in fact, I think that I think knowing that it was so universally hated and people had such strong feelings about, you know, her doing Marvel and all female leads and Marvel, like, I was like, I wonder what this is. And I really I enjoyed myself.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:34] And it was over two hours and felt somehow shorter than Beautiful Wedding.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:38] Flew by.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:41] Inexplicable. Beautiful Wedding. Seemed to me the movie we did last night. Took about seven hours to watch. It seemed to be.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:49] It was the longest movie I’ve ever seen.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:51] It was a mini series. It felt the longest.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:10:53] I feel like I’m still watching it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:55] I feel like we’re still. We’re just inside Beautiful Wedding.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:11:00] And this was a breath of fresh air. And again. Yeah, I mean, Jason, we’re not well, you know? We’re not okay, like, we’re so not okay. In terms of what we are consuming for this podcast that obviously take that with a grain of salt, but boy, it went down quite easy.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:19] I thought it was way better than the way that people talked about it. Like there are things in it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:24] You know what I thought it was better than? Morbius. Oh, yeah. I thought this was vastly better than Morbius.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:11:32] 1000%.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:33] You’ve got to watch Madame Web or Morbius right now. I’d be like Madame Web, Because one of them. I have to watch Jared Leto. So I’m more. I’m Madame Web all the way.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:49] I do believe that I like Jared Leto’s enthusiasm for it. It feels like there are moments in this movie where everyone’s like, when’s lunch?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:03] Yeah. Yeah. And in one scene, you can visibly see Sydney Sweeney having, like, a crafty coffee. How’s your eyesight?

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:17] But it’s a shame.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:18] How’s your eyesight? That’s what she asks. How is your eyesight? You know you were in the hospital. It’s not good. It’s bad.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:28] What a thing to ask.

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:30] I will tell you. The original script. The premise of the original movie was Terminator inspired. Okay, so Madame Web and the Spider Women were trying to protect a pregnant Mary Parker from a time traveling Ezekiel Sims, who wants to kill her to prevent the birth of Peter Parker. That was the original idea, which is aces, in my opinion.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:58] I get it. I understand what he’s why he’s doing that.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:02] And they have a very clear mission. Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:05] Right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:06] But my guess is they didn’t do it because it required Peter Parker to be the focal point of the thing, and Sony won’t. Is that it? Is that they.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:16] There was no reason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:17] Oh, okay.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:17] No reason was given.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:19] I’m sorry that I’m looking for logic as to why it got shifted into this pile of hot diarrhea that I love.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:26] I think this was just meant to be an origin story, but it’s so strange, you know, it doesn’t.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:33] Right. And then are you telling me for 20 years, there’s been three spider women running around New York City. So when Spider-Man shows up, they’re like, oh, yeah, we know this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:41] But I’m assuming.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:43] We spent the last two decades with three women just bopping around solving crimes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:49] I’m assuming this is a different universe. This is like a multiverse, dumb stuff. And that, like, Spider-Man would get sucked into this universe as him. I don’t know. Or this is Tom Holland, and we’re all like, oh, who cares?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:02] The good news is, when they asked.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:07] Five Stars.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:08] The producer of the movie, they said, is this a superhero movie? The producer of the movie said, no, it’s a thriller.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:15] A thriller? A thriller?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:19] I thought that was an odd choice.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:20] Thriller?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:23] Just like Ambulance or Bring Out the dead like those.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:29] Yeah. Thriller.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:31] Wow.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:33] I don’t know.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:34] A real thinker.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:35] Clairvoyant thriller? Sure. Well, I think we all agree that we would recommend this movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:42] Yeah, I might even give this a second watch. I’m not going to lie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:45] I’m going to watch it tonight.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:48] I think a dream night would be like to take a little gummy, smoke a little weed and put this movie on.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:53] What are you doing gummy and smoking weed?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:56] It’s Madame Web baby!

 

June Diane Raphael [01:15:01] I think this is, like.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:02] Do a little H, take a gummy, get that substance they gave Michael Jackson called milk.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:11] It was propofol. It was propofol. That’s what. It’s what I got when I was getting my colonoscopy. And the guy was like, hey, big fan. As I was like, ooh. What world am I in, Madame Web?

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:29] Now, when you came out of that colonoscopy, could you see the future?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:32] I wish, I wish, I wish like some pathway came out of my asshole and connected me to the people that matter because that’s where silk comes from in spiders.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:45] And that is our show. Thank you so much for coming out! Thank you. L.A.! We’ll be back soon!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:54] Eat shit, L.A.!

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:55] And that’s a wrap on Madame Web. Thanks, as always, to the wonderful staff at Largo and our recording engineer, Rich Garcia. If you want the t shirt that we created for this episode, which says Madame Web CPR certified with the handprints on the chest, go to Teepublic.com/stores/HDTGM. Next week on Last Looks, we’ll be going over Madame Web corrections and omissions. So if you have something about the movie to get off your chest, leave me a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK or write a comment on our discord at discord.gg/HDTGM. And a reminder my book is out there. So go get it, Joyful Recollections of the Trauma. You can get it wherever you get your books. And, keep those reviews coming and thank you so much. Once again, make sure you see us in Nantucket at the film festival and on Father’s Day, we’ll be performing in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. All right. You can find us online @HDTGM. That’s right. Everywhere you can go online, you’ll find us @HDTGM. And last but not least, I have to say thank you to all of our listeners who support this show every week and our entire team who this show couldn’t be done without. I’m talking about our very own producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, and our movie picking producer, Avril Halley, and our engineer Casey Holford, as well as our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. That’s all I got, people. Bye for now.