EP. 229 — Nicole Doesn’t Want Stinky Cheese Dick with Alesha Reneé & Serita Wesley

Nicole: How are you today?

Sasheer: Oh, I am good today. How are you?

Nicole: You know, I’m good. There’s breath in my body and there’s a joy in my bones.

Sasheer: Joyful bones? Yes.

Nicole: Joyful bones. Oh, we just passed spooky season. But my bones still feel joy and spookiness. What are you doing? Tell me about it.

Sasheer: What am I doing? I’m gonna see you soon.

Nicole: Yes, baby. Yes.

Sasheer: Finally got to come to a show that you invited me to.

Nicole: Yes. Well, this will have happened in the past.

Sasheer: That’s true. And it was good. We had such a good time.

Nicole: Boy, oh, boy, we had a blast. We did several things that I cannot tell you about.

Sasheer: But we can still talk about it as if it’s happening because… I don’t know. You’ll probably still be doing shows by the time this comes out. So, like, whatever.

Nicole: Nope. This is coming out November 1st, and I have retired.

Sasheer: Completely?

Nicole: Yes, I have retired. I know that’s in the future for me–a month from now. Goodbye! No, no, you’re right. I get to see you soon. And I’m really excited about it! My friend!

Sasheer: I was going to ask, did you want your own hotel room, or do you want to share a hotel room?

Nicole: Get in my bed. Get in my bed or the bed next to me. Either lay in bed with me or the bed directly next to me with a nightstand in the middle.

Sasheer: Okay, great. Yeah. I want to share the same room, too.

Nicole: Wow. This is funny because I was like, “Well, I wonder if Sasheer will want to share a room or if she’ll want her own room. I’ll just let her decide.”

Sasheer: Well, yeah, I had the same question because I was like, “Well, you’ll be performing, and maybe you’re super tired. Maybe you want the space in case a little booty hookup thing happened. I don’t know.

Nicole: You think I’m going to find someone in Wisconsin? Some cheddar man? Some cheese man?

Sasheer: “Some cheddar man?”

Nicole: Isn’t cheese there a big thing?

Sasheer: Yes, I think so. Is it because they make cheese? Do they have a cheese factory there? A plant? What do they have?

Nicole: I think all cheese is made in Wisconsin. No. Vermont?

Sasheer: There’s no way all cheese is made in Wisconsin.

Nicole: No. I think every single cheese is made in Wisconsin. Am I making that up? Wait, Jordan has a finger up.

Sasheer: Oh, okay. “Wisconsin is the number one cheese producing state.” Wow.

Nicole: Whoa. I can’t believe I knew that. I barely eat cheese.

Sasheer: That’s really funny.

Nicole: Oh, my gosh. They make 2 billion lbs. of cheese every year. I’m not fucking a man with a stinky cheese dick.

Sasheer: I mean, I don’t think, like, they’re all sleeping in the cheese.

Nicole: He’s going to take his pants down, and I’m gonna be like, “Ew! Is that mozzarella or cheddar?”

Sasheer: “I’m too gouda for this.”

Nicole: Usually, I hate your puns. But that was funny.

Sasheer: Yes!

Nicole: Wow, that got me good.

Sasheer: I’m so glad.

Nicole: Also, if I find somebody, I’ll go to his cheese house.

Sasheer: Yeah, but that’s a risk. I mean, I guess it’s a risk having them come to your hotel as well.

Nicole: If it’s my time, it’s my time here. I often say that, like, you know when Ubers are driving crazy? I’ve been in Ubers with people where they’re like, “Just let me out here.” And I’m like, “We’re not at the destination. If it’s my time, it’s my time.”

Sasheer: But that’s scary.

Nicole: Very few bad things happen to people. Do you know what I’m saying? Like, for every amoeba-eating virus somebody gets swimming in a lake, there’s people who swim in lakes and nothing happens to them. You know, if it’s your time, it’s going to get you. And that’s why I think I’m going to live forever because I truly am like, “Come get me.” And I feel like the universe is like, “No, we’re going to leave you.”

Sasheer: Yeah. “She’s too ready for it. We don’t like this.”

Nicole: “She wants it too bad. Just leave her alone.”

Sasheer: “There’s no element of surprise here.”

Nicole: You know that movie It Follows?

Sasheer: Oh, yes. I don’t think I saw it, but I do know it.

Nicole: Yeah, the premise is just this, like, scary monster thing is following you. Or, like, Smile where this thing is following you. I really think demons would get tired of me. They’d be like, “She’s not going to run. She’s just going to go to sleep and be like, ‘Can you go away?’”

Sasheer: “She’s living her daily life…”

Nicole: “While I’m trying to haunt her.” I feel like the most I would do is scream and be like, “Oh, you scared me, demon,” and then be like, “Oh, you’re not going away? Well, I better go to sleep. You can’t hurt me when I’m sleeping.”

Sasheer: Yeah. But doesn’t the boogieman or something come in your dreams?

Nicole: Yeah, and I think Freddy Krueger. But I feel like in that dream, I’d be like, “I better go back to sleep. I’ll sleep in the dream.”

Sasheer: Sleep Inception?

Nicole: Yeah. Sleep Inception. He’ll get so confused and not understand if I’m awake or sleeping. Do you think you could survive a demon?

Sasheer: I don’t know what I would do to try to survive it. I also get scared easily in general. And I really hope that doesn’t mean I’m becoming my mom because my mom is so… She’s the biggest scaredy cat ever. If you touch her shoulder while you’re looking at her, like, while she’s facing you, she will scream. And I don’t want to become one of the people who’s, like, terrified all the time. But I am finding myself jumping more. I’m just being more jumpy in general because I, like, I hear a noise or feel something. I thought a roach or something was in my bed or something was crawling on me. And I turn the lights on, and it was just hair. But…

Nicole: Still, it’s a little scary. I was recording with Marci for 90 Day Bay, and there’s a big window in the room I was recording in and there’s a curtain over it and the sunlight hit it so it perfectly looked like the shape of a person. Oh, God. Like trying to get in the door. And Marcy was like, “Oh, my God. That looks like a person.” I turned around, and I went, “Sure does. Well, if anything happens, call 9-1-1.” And she was like, “Well, can you go check?” And I was like, “I mean, it might be exciting if someone came in and tried to take me” Yeah. In the face of danger, I am really calm. I really calmed down. There was a shooting at a show that I did, and I was… Have I ever told you about this?

Sasheer: Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole: And Christi started crying, and I said something that I’m not going to repeat. But she was like, “How are you so calm?” And I was like, “I don’t know.” And it never fazed me. And she talked about it during the show, and I didn’t because I was like, “We’re fine anyway.” Anyway, isn’t that crazy? But also, how wild that I’m desensitized to that.

Sasheer: Hmm. That’s interesting. But that’s good because in the face of an emergency, you’ll be okay. Or, like, your energy will be okay and probably hopefully calm the people around you, too.

Nicole: I hope so. You know who might be good in the face of an emergency? These two best friends that we’re having on this episode of Besting Each Other.

Sasheer: Wow, what a segue.

Nicole: Oh, my God. Wow, can you believe how small that was?

Sasheer: We have Alesha Reneé and Serita Wesley on the show today. Alesha is an actress, TV personality, creator, and producer. You’ve seen her on Kenan, Criminal Minds, Detroiters, and Grand Crew.

Nicole: And Serita Wesley has an extensive background in entertainment and a successful career in podcasting. Most recently, she held the position of head of entertainment podcasts for Sony Music.

Sasheer: Together, they have co-created, wrote, and executive produced The Audible scripted podcast Unleash for Love. Check it out on Audible.

Nicole: Enough with the credits. Let’s play Besting Each Other.

Sasheer: We’re going to start with Serita!

Nicole: Okay! Time for a segment we call How Well Do You Know Your Good Friend?

Sasheer: Also known as Besting Each Other. Yes. First up, we have Serita. And we’re going to ask you questions about your friendship with Alesha. And if you don’t answer correctly, you guys have to end your friendship. And that’s the rules of the show. I’m so sorry you didn’t see the fine print.

Serita: That’s not good for business.

Sasheer: Yes. Your friendship and your business relationship have to dissolve by the end of the show. So sorry.

Serita: Yes. Okay.

Sasheer: Well, let’s hope that you guys actually know each other. First question I’m going to ask you is how did you two meet?

Serita: Well, I guess Alesha and I met technically through friends of ours who work at BET. Alesha was scouted in the new talent search. And my very good friend Tanya, which I call Dizzy, was one of the people that kind of found her, I guess, if you will. She worked at BET, and we lived together at the time. And then Alesha started being managed by another friend of mine that went to college with me that lived very close to me. And then her current best, best friend, Jamila, is also my former roommate and was her publicist. So, I would say that we met through BET.

Nicole: Okay. Very cool. You met through, like, a whole plethora of people, just like… What’s that song? “I heard it through the grapevine!” Like, your friendship happened through the grapevine. Listen, I’m not a singer. But we get the idea.

Serita: Yeah. We met through a stream of beautiful Black folks.

Nicole: And many people vouched for the other person, so that’s good.

Serita: Listen, that’s important.

Nicole: It really is. I had no one vouch for Sasheer. I just had to hope she was good and nice and not terrible. And turns out, she’s not good. No, I’m kidding. She’s the best. She’s wearing a shirt from my bathing suit line. That’s nice. A sister supports her sisters. Serita, what’s your favorite memory of traveling with Alesha?

Serita: I would say maybe not traveling. I was going to say traveling literally, not figuratively–maybe not like traveling the world–but I think Alesha drives insane. And my favorite memory is trying not to die on a six-lane highway in LA. Alesha drives like a bat out of hell. I love her to death. I love her to death. But that truck goes fast. My favorite memory is probably me just holding on for dear life and then also traveling with her to her different auditions. Just kind of sitting in the car while she went in, auditioned, and then came back out. Those are probably my favorite memories of, like, actually, literally traveling. We actually haven’t taken any real trips together. We should, though. But we haven’t.

Sasheer:  I don’t think I know any friends who would sit and wait for me while I go to an audition. Nicole, would you wait if I did an audition?

Nicole: It depends. It’s a very specific thing that would have to happen. We would have to be headed out of town. And it’s like we are leaving immediately after this audition. I would say, “I can wait for you.” And we would zoom zoom somewhere. But it’s just a Tuesday and I have the whole world ahead of me? Probably not.

Serita: Yeah, I would just sit in the car and play Candy Crush and listen to podcasts while she went in and auditioned. And then we’d go get tacos or do something like that.

Nicole: That’s very sweet. Wait, Sasheer, would you wait for me in an audition?

Sasheer: I think it also would have to be a situation where we are going out of town, or we have to travel together after the audition. And that’s why I waited for you.

Serita: I love that you guys are just like, “No, I’m not going to wait.”

Sasheer: I feel like we probably waited for each other in New York when we were, like, auditioning for commercials and we’re at the same audition. And we’re like, “Oh, I’ll wait for you, and then we’ll get lunch after.” But if it’s just like you have an audition and I have nothing to do with it, you won’t see me there.

Nicole: I mean, I keep trying to invite you to come watch me do standup in many different cities, and you keep saying no, which is, like–I don’t know–maybe one of the meanest things that’s happened to me this year.

Sasheer: But it’s just like, “Come see me perform for either one or two nights in a city that I don’t need to be in.” Is it just to come and hang out?

Nicole: I just want you to hang out with me backstage at the show.

Sasheer: It’s also different. It’s also not like, “Let’s go do stuff during the day.” Just you sit backstage, which is not even the best way to watch the show–just listening through the monitors. Okay. Next question is, what is your favorite thing about Alesha?

Serita: Oh, man. Probably her country ways. I think Alesha is such an endearing Southern belle. And I’m from Philly, so I’m, like, very northeast centric, if you will. And Alesha is, like, truly, truly Southern. I mean, even the stuff she says is kind of like, you know… “Oh, goodness.” Like, very Southern. Like, Blanche Devereaux style. That’s probably my favorite part about her. It’s just really dynamic. It’s fun to be around. It’s so different than, like, what I’m used to with all my other friends. I have, like, maybe one other friend from the South, which I’m not… You know, I’m really open to people from the South. I love it.

Sasheer: It doesn’t sound like you are.

Nicole: It sounds like you’re very closed off. You only have one other friend?

Serita: But I’m trying to stay away. I try to stay away. It’s funny because they’re both from, like, Louisiana, so maybe it’s just Louisiana. Maybe I don’t mess with no place else. I’m 42. I’m set in my ways.

Nicole: You’re like someone who’s like, “I have one Black friend. So… I’m doing well.” Before I ask the next question, you said that Alesha–her truck goes fast. What kind of car does she drive?

Serita: I believe it’s the Jeep brand. It’s not a Cherokee. It’s, like, a Wrangler. I believe it’s a Wrangler. I’m not good with, like, car names.

Nicole: No, that’s fine. I was just like, “Is she driving a semi?”

Sasheer: That’d be even worse! Driving terribly with a semi. That’s dangerous.

Nicole: What do you think Alesha’s favorite thing is about you?

Serita: Oh, gosh. Probably how goofy I am. Or how unaware I can be sometimes. Sometimes I’m just kind of here and not really doing my job. Sometimes I’m just like, “Yeah, no, I’m here. Like, pretty chill, I guess.” I mean, like, our personalities are very different. She’s extremely outgoing. I’m a little less outgoing, but I hope she likes that about me. But I think that’s what it is. If not, then maybe it’s just my really awful laugh.

Nicole: Oh no.

Sasheer: “Awful?”

Nicole: Why do you think it’s awful?

Serita: Oh. Okay, you’ll see when you’re editing this. It’s not great on audio. Sorry for your ears.

Nicole: I don’t know. That sounds like a fun laugh.

Sasheer: It does sound like a fun laugh. You want to know if people think that it’s funny.

Serita: That is true. Yeah. It’s affirming.

Sasheer: All right, switching gears a little bit… What is something that you do that drives Alesha crazy?

Serita: Oh, man. Probably not speak up enough. I feel like sometimes she has to pull all the weight. But yeah, like, probably not speak up enough or probably be a little too lackadaisical about stuff. Again, like, pretty chill–just kind of here trying to get things done and, you know, go about my business so I can lay on my couch and watch my shows. I mean, like, yeah, I think that’s kind of probably the biggest thing that annoys her about me. Or, like, when I have a lack of confidence or something like that, she gets pretty… “What is wrong with you?” You know, she does all that.

Sasheer: Yeah.

Nicole: That’s nice. It’s nice to have a friend be like, “Hey. You’re wonderful. What the fuck’s up?” What is something that Alesha does that drives you crazy

Serita: Talk too much. I mean, sometimes we’re in, like, meetings or something… Or, like, just anything. Sometimes she’ll just be going on and on. But it doesn’t drive me crazy. I like it. She’s so entertaining. So honestly, that’s probably the only thing that it’s like, “Okay, I just want– Okay. I just want– I just wanna say– I just want to–” That’s what it ends up being sometimes. But, you know, she just is very full of spirit, so…

Sasheer: You guys complement each other. It’s a good balance.

Serita: Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, it’s been working so far. Can’t complain.

Nicole: A nice yin and yang.

Sasheer: Namaste. Okay. Which one of you would do better on the television show Survivor?

Serita: Probably me because I think I would take a little bit more time to really think through a strategy. But I do move fast. I can be impatient, but I think it’s me. I think Alesha would get distracted a little easier than I would. And I’d be like, “This is it. We’ve got to nail it.” And I like to make decisions. I don’t like pondering on it. Let’s go. So, I’m going to say me.

Nicole: Yeah. Sasheer and I finally watched an episode of Survivor. We’ve asked this question–I don’t know–20 times? 30 times? For, like, two years in. And we finally sat down and watched an episode.

Serita: You have never seen it?

Sasheer: We had a loose idea of what Survivor was.

Nicole:  And–gotta say–pretty entertaining. Gotta also say it would be a double elimination. They’d be like, “Get rid of both of them.”

Sasheer: “Neither of them want to work or do anything.”

Serita: Well, actually, in all fairness, though, I have to say that Alesha is probably more backwoods fluent than I am. I’m straight city, so… And I don’t really do nature like that. I don’t know. I just don’t know. But yeah, so maybe she would actually be okay because I do know that there’s a lot– I think I was confusing Survivor with Amazing Race. But I think there’s a lot of stuff that would… She would break out. I’d be like, “Oh, okay. Let’s put this turtle, you know, with this soup pan that I found and made out of rocks.” I don’t know. I feel like she might know how to do that stuff. I mean, she’s like Lake Charles, Louisiana, completely. And I don’t know what Lake Charles is like. I assume it’s very lake focused.

Nicole: Lake forward.

Serita: I think there’s, like, a lot more nature around there, whereas, you know, there’s not many lakes in Philly, so… Or any. Honestly, I don’t know. There’s none.

Nicole: No. There’s a river.

Serita: There is the Schuylkill River and the Delaware River. Don’t– I would not recommend either of them, to be honest. No shade. No shade to Philly. Philly folks get mad.

Nicole: I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone swim in any of those rivers, so I get what you’re saying. Last question. What do you hope you’re both doing in 20 years?

Serita: Oh, man. I hope that we are… This is going to sound super sweet, but I hope that we are rich–first and foremost–content, and comfortable. I hope that we are comfortable with our lives–leading lives of comfort–a good balance of leisure and work. You know, I hope that we can get our love lives together because this is what that, like, show kind of sparked from was us just really not being able to do anything when it comes to our love lives. And then, you know, yeah, just like overall comfort. I don’t do happiness because I feel like happiness is subjective. But comfort is not mistaken, so that’s my main thing. I hope we got some money to spend. And I hope we have a good balance of work and leisure and that we still look good. I hope our skin is tight. Let’s look good.

Nicole: I like that. But to me that is happiness. I think happiness is subjective, but all those things sound like a nice way to be.

Serita: Yeah. Yeah. If I could have a good butt, a nice waist, and some tight skin, everything else falls into place. I don’t know.

Sasheer: I also really love the comfort part of it because I feel like… I actually just saw an Instagram reel, which is where I get my therapy from, where someone was talking about, like, “Think about how you want things in your life to make you feel as opposed to thinking, ‘If I have more money, I’ll achieve blank or, like, whatever.’” It’s less goal oriented, but it’s more like, “How do I feel? I want to surround myself with people who make me feel at ease. I want to do activities that make me feel enriched or whatever.” But I like that idea of, like, “Yeah, I want to feel comfortable and, like, secure.” That’s an important thing to have in the future.

Serita: I feel like comfort is one of those things that is more permanent, where happiness can kind of fluctuate so much. Comfort kind of balances and stays the same. But, you know, we’ll see. I mean, I could be wrong about that as well. Again, I’m not a therapist. I also get my therapy from Instagram reels.

Nicole: Don’t we all? It is cheap. It’s free ninety-nine!

Sasheer: Truly. Now we’re going to bring Alesha in and ask the same questions and see how close you are to having the same answers. And again, if you’re off, that’s the end of the friendship.

Nicole: All right. This is the second part of Besting Each Other. And we’ve got Alesha in the house today. And we’re going to figure out if you’re actually friends with Serita. And if you are not friends, you are going to have to not ever talk again.

Alesha: Did she do us proud?

Nicole: We don’t know yet! We got to ask you the questions and then…

Alesha: Oh, okay. Okay. Duh.

Nicole: So, the first question is, how did you two meet?

Alesha: It’s funny, actually. We met through my best friend, Jamila. Jamila introduced us. Here’s the thing. I have a trash ass memory, so I don’t remember, like, the exact circumstances under which we met, but it was definitely through Jamila. They went to school together. So, it’s probably some kind of function for Howard.

Nicole: Ooh, for Howard University.

Sasheer: And then how did you know Jamila?

Alesha: Jamila was actually my first publicist. Yeah. Yeah. She was trying to leave Kast Media–a publicity company. And I needed a publicist. I was fresh at BET. I didn’t have any money, so I needed someone who would take me on. And she was like, “I volunteer as tribute.”

Sasheer: Okay. Next question we have is what is your favorite memory of traveling together?

Alesha: You know what? The funny thing is we haven’t gone anywhere, like, out of the country together yet. But I think a favorite memory that we probably both share is every time she would come out here to LA, she would come to my house, and we’d have dinners. We’d talk–we’d commiserate over, you know, her writing career not being where she wanted to be and my acting career not being where I wanted to be. So, I think those intimate moments are probably my favorite. We created Unleash for Love at my house on one of her visits out here to LA. So… You’re so calm. You’re making me calm. Does my energy feel low?

Sasheer: No! Your energy is great.

Nicole: We try to keep it rather even as to not tip our hats to what has been said prior. This is a very serious questionnaire where your friendship is dictated by the answers.

Alesha: Nicole, for girl code old time’s sake, give me a wink if we’re going in the right direction.

Nicole: Can’t wink. Won’t close an eye. Simply won’t do it. Ow that hurt my eyes. Opened them too wide.

Sasheer: Your eyes have never been wider.

Alesha: Are we trash ass friends?

Nicole: I don’t know. We’ll see at the end.

Sasheer: We don’t know! But you just gotta be confident with these answers, and we will let you know at the end.

Nicole: Yes. What is your favorite thing about your friend?

Alesha: I would say that she literally never gives up on love. We actually fashion a lot of our main characters’ heart postures towards love and romance on Serita. So, yeah, I’d say that. And I love that about her.

Sasheer: Do you have an example of a time where she was, like, hopelessly romantic or super dedicated to love?

Alesha: She’s kind of… I don’t know. That’s the thing. I don’t know if she shared this part. I don’t want to… She’s gotten further along in a relationship than I have–like engagements and whatnot. And recently, she’s coming out of a situation that we all thought would go the distance. And when I was catching up with her this week, she dropped some news on my plate, But I was like, “Bitch, that’s what I’m talking about. That’s the energy that I’m talking about.” And her ability to just still pursue it, welcome it, and maintain a heart posture that says, “No, love will find me.” She’s extremely successful. She’s a woman of a certain age that society would tell us we should just hang it up if we haven’t met that guy at that time with all the other things that you have. It always finds her. She actually… Nope. Bitch, get it together. Sorry.

Nicole: Let it flow. Just like Toni Braxton said, “Let it–”

Alesha: Dating is really hard. I think it’s really hard, especially if you have any proximity to the business. Like, I’m from Lake Charles, Louisiana. Small town girl. I just happen to work in this business. And so, you want something real. And real always defines her regardless of how it shakes out. So, you know… Sorry.

Sasheer: That’s beautiful.

Nicole: It is really beautiful.

Alesha: Sorry. I’m so lame. Don’t talk about me when I hang up.

Nicole: No! Being vulnerable is, I think, the really beautiful thing. And a lot of time… Sasheer and I did an interview where I was, like, sitting next to her. And the interviewer asked–I don’t know–a pretty basic question. And I, like, welled up with tears and was like, “I just like her so much!” So, when you have love for somebody, it stirs emotions. And I think that’s really nice.

Alesha: Thank you. Sorry.

Sasheer: If you had to guess, what would you say Serita’s favorite thing is about you?

Alesha: I think that even though I’m kind of in this weird space right now with my higher power, I’d say my faith. There’s been many times along this journey and just within our friendship and sisterhood that some way–somehow–even if I didn’t have it, we had to conjure up some faith and some prayers to kind of, like, get through to see joy in the morning. I’d probably say that. Probably my faith.

Sasheer: That’s great.

Nicole: Yeah, I like that. Just to go in a different direction. What is something that you do that drives Serita crazy?

Alesha: Probably my optimism. Yeah, probably that. Yeah, sometimes you don’t want the joy. Sometimes you just kind of want to sit in it, and you just want someone to commiserate with you. For me, it’s such a slippery slope. So, I try not to even engage in that. I’m trying to be better as far as reading the room and giving my friends what they need versus kind of what I want to give them and what I think they need. I haven’t quite gotten that down. But probably, yeah, sometimes you just want an ear. And so yeah, bitch, I hate that too. You know, I’m going to try to work on that.

Sasheer: I’m actually one of the people who doesn’t want to always look at the bright side, and especially when I’m in it. If I’m feeling it, let me be angry or let me be sad or whatever. And I have a friend who recently was sort of asking me, “Do you want to look on the bright side right now? Or do you want us to just, like, feel the feelings?” And now I can answer, “Actually, I would like to hear the bright side,” or “No, I don’t need that right now. Let’s just feel the feelings, and then we can look at the bright side maybe tomorrow or a different day.”

Alesha: Thank you for that.

Sasheer: Yeah, I feel like that was helpful for me. So, if you’re a person who, you know, is looking to be supportive, but you don’t want to, like–I don’t know–invade somebody’s feelings with optimism, you can ask and be like, “What do you want right now? How do you actually want me to respond?”

Alesha: Thank you for that. I think the only thing I’ve gotten down is: “Okay. Do you want advice, or do you just want me to listen?”

Sasheer: Which is also good.

Alesha: Yeah, because I would kick into fix-it mode. “There’s a solution for everything!” “We could always pray it away.” But like you were saying, sometimes that’s not what they need in that moment. Sometimes they maybe don’t even know what they need in that moment. But optimism ain’t it. I’m gonna try to implement that one. It may save a few friendships along the way. Thank you.

Nicole: Wait. Sasheer, am I too optimistic for you?

Sasheer: Certainly not. No. Not even close. You are not that friend. No, no, no.

Nicole: Are you sure? I’m not really like Miss Sunshine trying to cheer you on all the time? No, you’re absolutely right. You’ll be like, “This sucks,” and I’ll be like, “Yeah, let’s kill him!”

Sasheer: No, you’re right down in the thick of it with me.

Alesha: I gotta get that together and be more like that.

Nicole: Oh, that’s funny.

Sasheer: We’ll need a third person to bring us out of it.

Nicole: And they’ll be like, “Fuck you!”

Sasheer: Okay. Is it my turn to ask a question?

Nicole: I think so. I don’t know.

Sasheer: What is something that Serita does that drives you crazy?

Alesha: I hate the way this is going to sound. Serita’s a Debbie Downer. That’s her nickname. Sometimes you can be a Debbie Downer, honey. When it comes to love, she’s optimistic. You know, like, it’s the craziest thing. I think that’s why we’re both so attached to and happy for Unleash for Love–where it is–because we went through it just to get it here. It took us seven years, and a lot of that was putting it down, walking away from it, crying… You know, she was in a previous job that she wasn’t really happy about at that time and just really wanted people to see her as the amazing writer that we all know her to be and, you know, believe that she could get better at. And, you know, I just wanted someone to give me a shot as an actor, you know, coming from the hostess space and taking me seriously in that capacity. And we just kept hitting wall after wall after wall. And some days I had the overflow to kind of, like, give to her. But a lot of days I didn’t. So that was really hard. She’s gotten better, but yeah. I’m like, “Girl, help me help you.”

Nicole: What is that from? “Help me help you!”

Alesha: I think it’s just an expression, you know?

Sasheer: Yeah. I feel like I don’t know it from a particular thing. I feel like you would say that.

Alesha: At least that’s where I got it from. It’s just an expression I’ve said to her a million times. “You get it. Help me help you because I’m drowning, too. You know what I mean?” And there’s only so much you can do when you also need something that you’re not getting–that validation or support or whatever. And you’re trying to pour it into your girlfriend who seems to be in a little more of a deficit than you. It’s like, “Okay, you got to help me now.”

Nicole: I looked it up. It’s from Jerry Maguire.

Alesha: Oh, really?

Nicole: He goes, “Help me help you.” He’s, like, pleading with Cuba Gooding Jr.

Alesha: It was the way I said it, right? It triggered something.

Nicole: It really did. And then there’s another one from the Santa Clause. Anyway, I just really needed to know.

Sasheer: I’m really glad you got to the bottom of that.

Nicole: Yeah, I just needed it. Okay, the next question is which one of you would do better on the CBS television series Survivor?

Alesha: Oh, me, girl. Serita would give up.

Sasheer: That was so fast.

Alesha: Her capacity for foolishness like that is just next to none. I would say me. If she said her, she is lying. Don’t let that woman lie to you like that.

Nicole: Do you think you would be better at the challenges or the social aspect? Sasheer and I finally watched it, and it seems like you have to be decent at the challenges but just not annoying.

Alesha: Fair. Oh. It really just depends on how everyone else’s temperament is, you know what I mean? Like, I’m pretty good at going with the flow. I have more of a poker face than Serita. Can we curse on this podcast?

Nicole: Fuck yeah.

Alesha: If Serita’s not fucking with anybody, you will know it, you know? I can kind of, like, put on a little “Oh, hey, girl.” And I think I’ll get in the dirt a little better than Serita. Serita’s a bit of a priss. I’ll take this wig off and get to it, honey.

Sasheer: I love that. Okay. Last question is what do you hope you’re both doing 20 years from now?

Alesha: Being loved. I would say probably being healthier and more whole than we’ve ever been. Hopefully seeing that love expressed in various ways–family, friends, achieving, having achieved our goal professionally at the highest level. Happy, joyful, still showing up for one another in ways that feel good to us both. Yeah, I just want us both to be happy, to feel whole, and more importantly being loved the way if not better than what we put out to everyone around us. Serita and I both are givers, and that department has not been the best to us. But I believe that God has it for us, and it will show. So that’s my goal.

Sasheer: That is so beautiful.

Nicole: That is nice.

Sasheer: That’s such a sweet answer.

Alesha: Thank you.

Nicole: Now, we’ll see if your answers have lined up and if your friendship can… be still a friendship? Listen, it’s tough to come up with things.

Alesha: If we live to fight another day.

Nicole: Here we are at the thrilling conclusion of our two friends. We asked, “How did you two meet?” And Serita said, “Alesha and I met through friends of ours at BET. My very good friend Tanya/Dizzy found Alesha. And her friend Jamila introduced us, and I went to school with her. Overall, we met through BET and a stream of beautiful Black folks.” Alesha said, “We met through Jamila. I have a trash memory, but they went to school together at Howard. She was also my first publicist.”

Sasheer: That was very right.

Nicole: So, you know how you met,

Alesha: But did you see how much more detailed hers was?

Sasheer: It was much more detailed, yes.

Alesha: I’ve got a track memory, girl. She knows it.

Sasheer: We asked, “What is your favorite memory of traveling together?” Serita said, “I’m going to say traveling literally. I think Alesha drives crazy. She’s like a bat of hell. That truck goes fast.”

Serita: I’m still here. You’re not wrong. I’m still here. Thank Jesus.

Sasheer: She said, “I remember holding on for dear life. Also traveling to different auditions, where she would wait in the car, playing Candy Crush and listening to podcasts, while Alesha was in the audition. And then we’d get food afterwards.” And they haven’t taken any real trips together, but hopefully one day. Yeah. And then Alesha said, “We haven’t gone out of the country yet. I remember her coming to visit me in LA and talking about our careers. And we created the show Unleash together when she came to visit me in LA at my spot.”

Serita: That was the same time that I went to your audition. So technically that’s right.

Alesha:  We would always travel to go get food if I wasn’t cooking.

Nicole: What’s your favorite thing about your friend? Serita said, “Probably her country ways. I think Alesha’s an endearing Southern belle. She is just really Southern like Blanch Deveraux style. It’s so different from what I’m used to with my other friends. But I do have two friends from the South, and they’re both from Louisiana.” Alesha says, “I would say she never gives up on love. We postured our characters around Serita, and she never gives up on love. She’s gotten further along in relationships, and she’s come out of a relationship that we thought would go the distance. And even out of that, she’s still opened up her heart to love in spite of it. Love always finds her, and love is really hard to find. And real love always seems to find her.”

Serita: Oh, Alesha. That’s so sweet! Technically, that’s also right because Southern belles also are very into love.

Sasheer: You can’t read into these answers like that. No. “What I meant was…”

Serita: Blanche Deveraux always found love.

Sasheer: We asked, “What is your friend’s favorite thing about you?” Serita said, “How goofy I am or how unaware I can be. I’m just kind of chill. I’m just like, ‘I’m here.’ We are very different. She’s very outgoing, and I’m a little bit more introverted. And maybe my awful laugh.” And then Alesha said, “Even though I’m in a weird space with my maker, I would say my faith. In many situations, we had to conjure up some faith to get through it.” And yeah, I think that’s beautiful. Still not the same answer, but good answers.

Nicole: Good answers all around, but not the same.

Alesha: That’s what I thought about her, right?

Sasheer: “What’s your friend’s favorite thing about you?”

Serita: What’s your favorite thing about me and vice versa.

Alesha: Oh, okay.

Serita: Yeah, I would say that’s true, though. Alesha, you’re right. That is true. So, I think that should also count. I’m just putting it out there. Alesha’s faith has brought us through a lot of things.

Nicole: Well, we asked, “What is something you do that drives your friend crazy?” Serita said, “Not speaking up enough. Sometimes I feel like she feels like she has to pull all the weight. Or be lackadaisical about stuff. Or when I lack confidence.” Alesha said, “Probably my optimism. Sometimes you don’t want the joy and you just want to sit in it. It’s such a slippery slope for me, so I try not to engage in it. Sometimes she just wants an ear. And I’m trying to find that balance for all of my friends.”

Alesha: Okay. Not a lot. I do like your answer. I didn’t know how deep I wanted to go. That’s fair. That is very fair, Goose. I mean Serita. That’s very fair. Very fair.

Sasheer: It’s okay. Just call her Goose. It’s fine.

Alesha: Okay. I’m trying to be all professional.

Sasheer: It’s cute. Where is Goose from?

Serita: So, my best guy friend, Keenan, for some reason, thinks I look like a mongoose. And so, he started calling me Goose. And then everybody in that household… Jamila started calling me Goose. And Alesha was there, and then she just started calling me Goose. And so, everybody that was basically around in those Brooklyn times on Tompkins Avenue back in, like, the early 2000s calls me Goose.

Alesha: But you have to give it context. I have nicknames for all of my friends. From being from the South, we look at that as a form of, like, intimacy. And it wasn’t until probably working on this project, right? We were trying to think about a nickname for our character. And then that’s when I got the story, and I was like, “Oh, my God, I’ve been calling you that?”

Serita: It’s fine. I mean, look, at this point, it is endearing. I mean, I guess I kind of do look like a mongoose.

Sasheer: What? Wait, I gotta Google a picture of a mongoose.

Nicole: They are cute. And I am looking at one and…

Serita: Right in the crux of my face–the focal point…

Nicole: It is also such a, like, specific animal. The Wikipedia page has, like, three sentences because people are like, “Never thought about a mongoose. Saw one one time. That’s about it.”

Sasheer: If I saw this out in the wild, I wouldn’t know what to call it. I’d be like, “Badger? Lemur? Big squirrel? Really, really big squirrel?”

Serita: That’s another nickname I like. Big Squirrel.

Sasheer: That sounds like a rapper.

Nicole: “Welcome to the stage, Big Squirrel!” “Where my little squirrels at?” Is it my turn or your turn, Sasheer?”

Sasheer: I think my turn. So, we asked, “What is something your friend does that drives you crazy?” And Serita said, “She talks too much. Sometimes in meetings when we’re talking… She’s so entertaining it doesn’t bother me too much. But she is very full of spirit.” And Alesha said, “Sometimes she really can be a Debbie Downer, and I have to dig deep to pull her out of it. When it’s love, she’s optimistic. And that’s why we’re happy for Unleash for Love because it took us seven years to get here, and we kept hitting these walls. But with things other than love she gets a little bit down.”

Serita: So, I think that that counts as a point, too. But here’s why. Because technically, she said sometimes she can just keep going.

Sasheer: I love your ability to spin. You’re really good at this.

Nicole: Yeah, very good at spinning. We asked, “Which of you would do better on Survivor?” Serita said, “Probably me because I would take more time to do the strategy. But I do move fast, and I’m not patient. I think Alesha would be too distracted and I would make decisions quickly. In all fairness, Alesha is more backwoods fluent than me. And I don’t do nature like that. Maybe she would do better that way. I’m a city girl, so I’d struggle a bit.” And then Alesha said, “Me, girl. Serita would give up. If she said wouldn’t, she’s lying. I Have more of a poker face than Serita, and I can get into the dirt a little better than Serita. I could take this wig off and get into it, honey.”

Alesha: Am I lying?

Serita: She’s not wrong. If it was a shootout, I would be fine.

Sasheer: Oh, my God. Not a shootout.

Alesha: That girl does not want it with any big squirrels. She is not here for it.

Sasheer: And lastly, we asked, “What do you hope you’re both doing 20 years from now?” Serita said– Actually, I’m going to read Alesha’s first and then Serita’s. So, Alesha said, “Being loved. I would say being loved, healthier, and more whole than we have ever seen. Seeing that love expressed in various ways. Having us achieve our goals at the highest level. I want us to be happy, healed whole, and being loved even better than we put out.” And then Serita said, “I hope we’re rich.”

Alesha: Yeah, bitch!

Nicole: “I hope we’re rich, content, and comfortable–comfortable with our lives and balance of work. And I hope our love lives will be together and overall, we are comfortable with that. And I hope we look good. I hope our skin is tight, I hope our waists are small, and I hope we have great butts.”

Alesha: Rich and loved.

Sasheer: I feel like you guys did line up on a lot of stuff. So, we’re going to say you are friends. You are still friends. You can continue your friendship and your working relationship.

Nicole: It’s okay. We approve!

Alesha: Thank you, guys. That means a lot.

Serita: So happy about that. For sure.

Alesha: We will continue on with your blessing.

Serita: We’re gonna need something in writing, though. If you guys can write that down, that’d be great.

Nicole: We’ll send it via DocuSign.

Sasheer: I think this is one of our most, like, vulnerable quizzes that we’ve done. Like, you guys had just sweet, raw answers. And, like, I can’t wait to listen to your show because I can’t wait to hear the perspective you have on love and how you write them.

Alesha: Thank you so much.

Serita: We’re excited about it. Go check it out. Unleash for Love on Audible.

Alesha: Right now, it’s available.

Serita: Read all the reviews from my mother, where she changed her name every day.

Nicole: That would be adorable.

Alesha: Me and my country cousins–we did the same. Don’t need to worry about it. Dwight, Dwayne, David, Daniel–all of them. But this is exactly why we did Unleash for Love. Like, all this sisterhood, you know, that you guys display on your show–what we’ve been able to do on today’s episode–it means a lot. So, I really hope that, you know, the listeners can find themselves in these characters.

Sasheer: Absolutely. Well, thank you.

Nicole: Yes. Thank you so much.

Serita: Thank you both.

Nicole: Wow. We didn’t do any questions today, which is usually how we wrap up our podcast–with queries, quandaries, and questions. The three Qs. But we didn’t do that today. But if you would like to have one of the three Qs answered at a later date, you can email it to nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com or call, text, leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003.

Sasheer: And if one of your quandaries is where can you get merch, you can go to podswag.com/bestfriends.

Nicole: And then what if your queries is: “I got to start reading more”? We have transcripts of our new episodes. You could check them out on our show page earwolf.com.

Sasheer: And if one of your quandaries is how can you support us, you can rate, review, and subscribe.

Nicole: Yes. Quick now, see you next week. I don’t know. I’m trying to think of another Q.

Sasheer: Quietly!

Nicole: Quietly! Question everything! Bye!

Sasheer: Bye.