EP. 213 — Nicole Learns That Dolphins Are Psychos!

 

Nicole [00:00:11] What up?

 

Sasheer [00:00:12] What up, girl?

 

Nicole [00:00:13] What you doing?

 

Sasheer [00:00:14] Oh, you know, I’m just trying to have a podcast.

 

Nicole [00:00:19] “Trying to have?” Girl, you do have.

 

Sasheer [00:00:20] For real. You think I have one?

 

Nicole [00:00:23] I know you have one.

 

Sasheer [00:00:24] Wow, thank you so much.

 

Nicole [00:00:26] You’re on it right now?

 

Sasheer [00:00:27] Oh, yes!

 

Nicole [00:00:28] Sasheer. Wake up. It’s your podcast.

 

Sasheer [00:00:30] Oh, I had a dream. And you were there.

 

Nicole [00:00:36] Oh, I was?

 

Sasheer [00:00:40] And you were there.

 

Nicole [00:00:41] Did you know in The Wizard of Oz that wasn’t, like, black and white. They painted the set sepia. And they painted her sepia. And her clothes were sepia.

 

Sasheer [00:00:52] Whoa.

 

Nicole [00:00:53] Because the technology to change it from sepia to color didn’t exist back then. So that’s how it is so seamless. Am I lying? I might be.

 

Sasheer [00:01:02] They, like, put makeup on her face to look like all the characters’ faces. Huh.

 

Nicole [00:01:08] I am 92% sure I’m not lying about this.  Also, I don’t know how I know this. No clue.

 

Sasheer [00:01:16] I don’t know, either.

 

Nicole [00:01:18] Sometimes I want to learn.

 

Sasheer [00:01:22] So the technology didn’t exist to make it black and white and color in the same movie?

 

Nicole [00:01:28] I think so.

 

Judith [00:01:29] Yup, you’re correct. So according to Wendy’s Wizard of Oz, yes, “The Wizard of Oz was filmed that way to give it the Over the Rainbow effect. The white and black parts were actually filmed on sepia toned film. It has a more brownish tint to it, but if you have the DVD, you’ll see the true color of the sepia tone.”

 

Sasheer [00:01:49] Wait. It was filmed in sepia tone film.

 

Nicole [00:01:54] Not painted. Oh, I guess I’m stupid.

 

Sasheer [00:01:57] No, that’s okay. It’s okay.

 

Nicole [00:02:02] Who told me that?

 

Sasheer [00:02:06] It definitely wasn’t me.

 

Nicole [00:02:08] Why did you tell me that?

 

Sasheer [00:02:09] I didn’t tell you that.

 

Nicole [00:02:10] Well, you told me that. Now I’m lying to everybody. Now I feel so foolish.

 

Sasheer [00:02:15] I didn’t tell you that.

 

Nicole [00:02:17] Oh man.

 

Sasheer [00:02:18] Kimmie told you.

 

Nicole [00:02:19] Kimmie… Maybe it’s on Instagram. I guess not everything on Instagram is true.

 

Sasheer [00:02:27] No, that can’t be right.

 

Nicole [00:02:29] I learned a hard lesson. You can’t just parrot back everything you see on Instagram.

 

Sasheer [00:02:35] I mean, I guess I could see them, like, making the set look dull or something to help with that. Oh, Kimmie found something.

 

Kimmie [00:02:45] Everyone is right. Isn’t that fun?

 

Nicole [00:02:47] Yes!

 

Kimmie [00:02:48] It’s not that all the sepia toned black and white stuff was painted that way. Most of that was just filmed in sepia. But the scene that you’re talking about–the transition? So, the set she’s stepping out of is painted in those sepia tones, and she steps into a colored painted set. So, it’s just for that transitional scene. So, you are right. But also, Judith was right. So, everyone won.

 

Nicole [00:03:08] Everyone! Yes! Instagram didn’t forsake me. My new mission is to learn about casinos. That sentence sounded so dumb. I’m just so interested in them after being in them because I’m like, “How much money do you have to make to, like, recoup and then make a profit?” They’re so big, and they employ so many people. I just learned that World Resort, a Hilton property in Vegas, cost $4 billion to make.

 

Sasheer [00:03:51] It’s a resort?

 

Nicole [00:03:52] Well, it’s called World Resort in Vegas. And it says “Conrad” on the side, “Conrad Hilton,” which I guess is a Hilton. But when do you break even on $4 billion? That’s wild; that’s a lot of money.

 

Sasheer [00:04:09] I don’t know. Also, when you gamble, where does that money come from? Like, when you win.

 

Nicole [00:04:16] I believe it probably comes from people losing their money, and then it goes into, like, a bankish type of deal. That’s an interesting question. Judith?

 

Sasheer [00:04:31] Is it the resort? Who’s paying for it?

 

Nicole [00:04:33] Who’s paying for this? Especially–

 

Sasheer [00:04:35] Who’s shelling out $32 million if someone wins.

 

Nicole [00:04:37] People win, like, $32 million?

 

Sasheer [00:04:40] The slot that you were playing–the Rakin’ Bacon one with a pig on it–at the top, it said you could win 32 million.

 

Nicole [00:04:47] Wow. Instead, I lost 20. Well, technically, 19. I got a dollar back, but I left it for a lucky person.

 

Judith [00:04:55] So, “although casinos may earn some money from food, entertainment, and other venues, the breadwinner for the industry is the games. A significant portion of the casino profits are the results of the accrual of all of the losses from casino patrons each year.”

 

Nicole [00:05:16] That makes sense that many people just lose a ton of money. And then that money goes to people who win. Yeah, because I guess it’s like the high rollers. If you lose ten grand and then someone’s winning, like, 20 grand, it’s like you’re only paying out ten because that person just lost ten. Wow. Casinos are wild.

 

Sasheer [00:05:38] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:05:39] Who’s the first casino? Imagine the rest of this podcast was just Vegas talk.

 

Sasheer [00:05:47] So far, we’re on the third episode of Vegas talk.

 

Nicole [00:05:50] I mean it’s a wild place.

 

Judith [00:05:54] So in Vegas, according to Google, “Tommy Hull was a businessman who was granted a license to build a casino in Las Vegas. He built El Rancho, the first hotel casino in the city. It was built in the area that came to be known as the Vegas Strip.” So, Tommy Hull.

 

Nicole [00:06:08] Tommy Hill?

 

Judith [00:06:13] It’s spelled H.U.L.L.

 

Nicole [00:06:16] Tommy Hull.

 

Sasheer [00:06:17] What year was that?

 

Judith [00:06:20] This one says, “In 1906, the first casino opened its doors to the public.”

 

Sasheer [00:06:25] Wow.

 

Nicole [00:06:25] Wow. Learning. I can’t wait to incorrectly repeat that to somebody.

 

Sasheer [00:06:33] You’ll probably get it right.

 

Nicole [00:06:34] Maybe. Who knows?

 

Sasheer [00:06:36] Who knows?

 

Nicole [00:06:37] What’s been going on with you?

 

Sasheer [00:06:43] Nothing. Nothing. I’ve just been, like, hanging in my house. Actually, before I left my house to come here, my neighbor brought me a bottle of wine because their mail was left in my mailbox. But they didn’t know. And when I got home, there was mail in my mailbox. And I was like, “This isn’t mine.” And so, I walked it over, put it in their mailbox, didn’t think about it, and then I guess there’s something important in there that they needed and had been waiting for, like, weeks. And then they were like, “We’ve needed that. Thank you so much for that.” And they gave me some wine, and I was like, “That’s so sweet.”

 

Nicole [00:07:31] That is sweet. What a beautiful, neighborly thing. Clyde has a new friend in the neighborhood. There’s a nice man who’s got this big, I think, standard poodle or Goldendoodle, who’s so friendly. And he walks him off the leash because he’s very well behaved. And the first time Clyde saw him, he was like, “Grrr!”. And I was like, “He’s very friendly.” And we’re in the cul-de-sac, so I was like, “I’m just going to let him off the leash because he just wants to play, and he loves a bigger dog.” And the guy was like, “Oh, of course.” And then they played, and it was so cute. So sometimes on our night walks, we’ll see him, and I’ll just let him right off the leash. And they’ll just, like, tussle for a little bit. And then the bigger dog’s a little older, so he’ll be like, “Now, now. That’s enough, little one.”

 

Sasheer [00:08:14] “Let me go home.”

 

Nicole [00:08:15] Look at us. Making friends with neighbors!

 

Sasheer [00:08:19] Oh my God!

 

Nicole [00:08:20] Oh my God!

 

Sasheer [00:08:21] There was a neighbor, like, down near my yard. And I saw them once–when I first moved in–and then thought I would see them more often. Never saw them for, like, a year. And then I was pulling into my garage, and I saw their cars in the driveway. And I was like, “They’re home!” And so, I rushed over and, like, rang the doorbell. And I was like. “Hi! I’m Sasheer. I’m next door. I haven’t seen you in a year. I thought I would, but I haven’t. Just, you know, let you know I’m here!” I don’t know. I don’t know. I didn’t want to be like, “Let’s be friends.” But I was like, “Just so we know each other.” And they’re like, “Oh, that’s so nice. We’re moving.” They were, like, literally moving out that week. I was like, “Oh… Okay.”

 

Nicole [00:09:12] That’s so funny. “Actually, we knew this day would come that you would come over. We’re going to get out of here.”

 

Sasheer [00:09:18] “Now. It’s time to leave. You’ve caught us. We don’t like it.”

 

Nicole [00:09:23] Wait, is the house for sale?

 

Sasheer [00:09:24] No, I think they’re renting it out, so I think someone’s renting it right now. I haven’t even bothered to introduce myself because they’re renting.

 

Nicole [00:09:32] Oh, I’m sorry. And you don’t want any fleeting friends.

 

Sasheer [00:09:35] No. My heart can’t take it.

 

Nicole [00:09:36] Imagine I bought the house next door to you.

 

Sasheer [00:09:39] That would be fun.

 

Nicole [00:09:40] You think?

 

Sasheer [00:09:40] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:09:41] I think it’d be fun, too. “Hi, friend and now neighbor. What are you doing? Can I come over? Wait, are you going out? Where are you going? Why are you leaving? You got everything right here. Me.”

 

Sasheer [00:09:59] “Stay with me!” I mean, the only time I’m going out is with you, so you know where I’d be going.

 

Nicole [00:10:09] Yes. Thank you. I like that. Good answer. Good answer! Shit. I had a thought, and it left.

 

Sasheer [00:10:19] Dang.

 

Nicole [00:10:25] I simply can’t remember what I was going to say to you.

 

Sasheer [00:10:29] Did you guys see that video of a woman talking about a commune that she lives in? With her friends?

 

Nicole [00:10:34] I don’t think so.

 

Sasheer [00:10:35] Her and her friends have, like, an intentional community. And I don’t know what the setup is like. I don’t know if they’re, like, just a bunch of houses on a plot of land. I’m not sure what. But it sounded cool because she was like, “Yeah, our friends just agreed that we wanted to, like, live near each other, raise our kids around each other, and, like, have a support system right there. So, we just chose to live in the same area.”

 

Nicole [00:11:03] I think that’s really cool. I think that’s nice.

 

Sasheer [00:11:06] I think so, too.

 

Nicole [00:11:06] Because I feel like… This is going to sound really fucking, like, woo-woo, whatever. But I feel like there’s a lack of community, and I think that’s why adults have such a hard time making friends. I feel like church was, like, a community. Like, my mom had church. She went to church all the time; that was her community. My dad had one friend; that was his community. And through comedy, like, I have my community. People who, like, work a 9 to 5 and don’t really do stuff–how do they find their community?

 

Sasheer [00:11:54] Yeah, I guess it’s, like, clubs and stuff. But yeah, we used to… I mean, back in the day, humans were in tribes, so you just had this already built-in community that you were a part of and grew up in. And generations and generations happened. But we have become more individualized and spread out.

 

Nicole [00:12:17] Yeah. I don’t want that. “We together is stronger than I.” I don’t know. “‘We’ is two letters, and two is better than one–‘I.’” Someone print it up on a t-shirt! That’s a good saying.

 

Sasheer [00:12:38] There’s strength in numbers?

 

Nicole [00:12:40] Yes. That’s exactly what I was trying to say.

 

Sasheer [00:12:49] “‘We’ is two, and it’s more than one, which is ‘I.’”

 

Nicole [00:12:57] Boy, I’m so thankful to have you. I would never have made it there. But that’s exactly what I’m trying to say. There’s strength in numbers.

 

Sasheer [00:13:08] Yes, yes, yes. Got it.

 

Nicole [00:13:10] Yeah. I just love having people that I trust and love around me. It sounded like I started peeing.

 

Sasheer [00:13:37] Wow, you’re really comfortable.

 

Nicole [00:13:38] I feel great. Strength in numbers. My tribe is here. Sasheer.

 

Sasheer [00:13:54] Nicole.

 

Nicole [00:13:56] I have a problem. I think I need to remove Depop off my phone and Etsy and eBay. I keep buying things–things I don’t need. And then you can’t try them on. So, like, it gets to you, and then it’s, like, a little tight. And then I’m like, “Maybe I’ll fit into it one day. Or it’s, like, too big, and I’m like, “Maybe I’ll fit into it one day,” because, like, you know, things happen. But I have so much clothing. I think on my birthday, I need to, like, really just do, like, a purge.

 

Sasheer [00:14:30] Yeah, I think it’s good. You also can do it little by little.

 

Nicole [00:14:34] Oh, you’re right. I can do it little by little. I do overwhelm myself a lot by being like, “I gotta do it all now!”

 

Sasheer [00:14:41] Yeah, I just, like, put it back together–clothes I don’t need–because I just was going through it and I was like, “I haven’t wanted this in so long.” And I started peeling things out that I was like, “I haven’t had a need for this.” And I also want to make room for the stuff I bought when I was gone to put in my closet.

 

Nicole [00:14:57] Have you ever thought about doing a closet sale because you have cool clothes?

 

Sasheer [00:15:04] No, I’ve definitely tried to sell my clothes, like, at stores. But then it gets exhausting. And then it doesn’t always work, or, like, they don’t buy it. And I’m like, “I don’t really care. I don’t really need the $50 or whatever that’s for the sweater. Someone can just have it.:

 

Nicole [00:15:25] Yeah. I’ve done it, like, a couple of times at this resale shop. And I get, like, a percentage of what they sell or whatever. But then I truly was like, “Yeah. I don’t need to make money on this. Some poor fat will love it.” I mean, maybe they’re not even poor because I still thrift, and I’m moderately okay. It’s nice to give, you know? I’m waiting for one of those magical thrifting experiences where, like, an old fat has died, and they were fabulous because that happens sometimes. I’ll, like, go thrifting, and I’m like, “Oh my God. An old fat with sequins and, like, colors and patterns has passed or lost weight or, like, whatever–gained it–I don’t know.” I make up stories sometimes. But I’ll just get so much stuff. I love stuff. But I need to get rid of some.

 

Sasheer [00:16:22] Yeah. It was, like, interesting to go through the clothes I didn’t wear anymore because it was like, “Oh, I remember buying this when I thrifted this in South Carolina or some other place. But it’s like, “I don’t have a need for it now.”

 

Nicole [00:16:40] Yeah.

 

Sasheer [00:16:42] Wow.

 

Nicole [00:16:49] I went through an enormous phase where all I wore were ballerina flats, leggings, and, like, a skater dress. And I think I have moved past the need of a skater dress. I’m like, “Oh, but maybe… Maybe they’ll come back to me. Maybe I’ll want to wear them again.” But I do think it’s a dead thing for me. I don’t think I’m gonna go back to it.

 

Sasheer [00:17:14] Yeah, I definitely have things where I was like, “I used to wear that all the time.” And I’m like, “That doesn’t feel like me now.”

 

Nicole [00:17:19] What’s the thing that, like, you just got rid of that you were like, “I used to wear that all the time, but now it’s just not me.”

 

Sasheer [00:17:29] There’s this red dress that I have, and it has these big shoulder pads and big white buttons. And it’s cute, but I feel like I’m in a costume.

 

Nicole [00:17:43] I could see that.

 

Sasheer [00:17:44] Yeah. Yeah, I definitely, like, got stuff from Goodwill and Salvation Army that looked older–more vintage. And I appreciated that look when I was younger. But now I’m like, I feel like I’m in a costume. I don’t want to wear that anymore.”

 

Nicole [00:18:03] That makes sense. I have a lot of dresses that are a little too frilly, but I’m like, “Oh, I loved it.” And now I’m like, “I think I’ve moved past this.” Right now, I’m stuck on looking like a child. I love overalls. I’m, like, obsessed with overalls. It’s all I wear right now.

 

Sasheer [00:18:22] I only wear jumpsuits.

 

Nicole [00:18:24] Yeah, I like a jumpsuit. I like overalls. Yeah, it’s all I’ve been wearing lately. I’ve got this fabulous jumpsuit from Good American. Although their jumpsuits are wild. Like, I have two that are the same size. And one I had to get rid of because I was like, “This doesn’t fit me at all. Don’t go over my butt. Nothing. Same size!”

 

Sasheer [00:19:00] Weird.

 

Nicole [00:19:00] What kind of fashion are you trying to get into?

 

Sasheer [00:19:04] I wanna look like a woman.

 

Nicole [00:19:06] Wow. We’re going opposites. I’m like, “I want to look like a child.” But, yeah, sometimes I want to look like a woman. But that requires wearing, like, not sneakers.

 

Sasheer [00:19:18] Yeah. I don’t think I’m really a sneakerhead anyway.

 

Nicole [00:19:21] I do love a sneaker.

 

Sasheer [00:19:22] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:19:22] Sandies.

 

Sasheer [00:19:28] I’m wearing sandies, yes.

 

Nicole [00:19:28] What kind of woman are you trying to look like?

 

Sasheer [00:19:30] I think the kind of woman that wears a lot of linen.

 

Nicole [00:19:32] Oh my God! Yes! I see that for you.

 

Sasheer [00:19:35] Right?

 

Nicole [00:19:36] Yes. Easy, breezy, wide pants. Big shirts.

 

Sasheer [00:19:40] Yeah. I’m thinking, like, loose fabrics.

 

Nicole [00:19:44] Yes. A vacation woman.

 

Sasheer [00:19:46] Yes, I’m a vacation woman.

 

Nicole [00:19:47] Okay.

 

Sasheer [00:19:48] You’re like, “Did she just come off of a boat?”

 

Nicole [00:19:53] Wow, was she just on the sea? Oh my God. Speaking of seas, did you hear about the orcas and the sharks? They’re banding together and they’re, like, having meetups. They’re, like, talking in the ocean about how to take down yachts and stuff.

 

Sasheer [00:20:09] I love it.

 

Nicole [00:20:09] I’m here for it.  How do we let them know that we’re on their side? I’m certainly not going on a yacht. “Stop it! We’re on your side!”

 

Sasheer [00:20:20] And they’re like, “Take them down!” I think we just got to let them fight their fight. I think it’s not really for us not to be a part of.

 

Nicole [00:20:28] What if the octopuses get involved. They’re really smart.

 

Sasheer [00:20:32] They’d be the mastermind.

 

Nicole [00:20:33] Yeah. I really love that they’re just, like, hanging out, being like, “What are we going to do?” It’s like Avatar 2 coming to life.

 

Sasheer [00:20:45] Oh, yes, yes, yes.

 

Nicole [00:20:48] I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen it, but see Avatar 2. “Boats off Spain’s coast…”

 

Sasheer [00:20:56] “Boats off Spain’s coast are seeing more killer whales touch and push–even turn–vessels.”

 

Nicole [00:21:04] Wow. I love it. I just love sea animals. I love the sea.

 

Sasheer [00:21:11] Avatar 2 was funny because they would have these, like, whale creature things and be like, “This one’s a poet. This one makes the music of the community.”

 

Nicole [00:21:29] It’s a lovely song. It also came out of nowhere. You were like, “Oh, how do you know all this about them?” There was an experiment with dolphins, I believe, where somebody kept dolphins. They made a pool in their home and, like, lived with dolphins. I wonder if I’m making that up. But I don’t know what the end result of that was.

 

Sasheer [00:21:55] What were they trying to figure out?

 

Nicole [00:21:58] I think they were trying to teach dolphins that to communicate with humans. Is that a thing?

 

Sasheer [00:22:07] Dolphins are psychos.

 

Nicole [00:22:09] What?

 

Sasheer [00:22:10] Dolphins are psychos.

 

Nicole [00:22:11] What do you mean they’re psychos?

 

Sasheer [00:22:13] They are, like, more dangerous than sharks.

 

Nicole [00:22:15] Dolphins?

 

Sasheer [00:22:16] Yes. Their smile is deceptive, but they are killers.

 

Nicole [00:22:20] What?

 

Sasheer [00:22:20] They will, like, fuck up a seal and just throw it around. They’ll get high off of pufferfishes and pass them around to each other. They’re heathens.

 

Nicole [00:22:31] Really?

 

Sasheer [00:22:31] Yes.

 

Nicole [00:22:33] That’s wild. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know dolphins were getting high off pufferfish and throwing around otters.

 

Sasheer [00:22:37] They’re getting high and destructive. They can emit this, like, sound that, I think, screws up your brainwaves or your organs or something like that. And they just do it to kill. They’re not even eating the other animals that they’re killing. They’re just doing it to, like, fuck up some shit.

 

Nicole [00:22:55] Oh my God. How come they don’t do it when they’re in captivity to, like…?

 

Sasheer [00:23:00] The humans?

 

Nicole [00:23:01] Yeah. Or maybe they can only do it to animals.

 

Sasheer [00:23:03] This I don’t know.

 

Nicole [00:23:04] Interesting. I didn’t know dolphins were so savage. Oh my God.

 

Sasheer [00:23:10] They’re savage–really more than sharks. And I feel like Jaws was a smear campaign on sharks.

 

Nicole [00:23:16] Wow. Really? Jaws was a smear campaign on Shark.

 

Sasheer [00:23:22] “And Flipper was done by Big Dolphin, trying to make everyone think that the dolphins were your friend. And they’re not.

 

Nicole [00:23:28] And they’re not. And then Free Willy was just an accurate representation of killer whales. Wait, should I get a sea creature tattooed to me?

 

Sasheer [00:23:38] Yes.

 

Nicole [00:23:39] Which one, though?

 

Sasheer [00:23:41] I was going to say a dolphin, even though I have strong feelings about that.

 

Nicole [00:23:45] Maybe a seahorse.

 

Sasheer [00:23:47] Oh, that’s fun.

 

Nicole [00:23:47] I love a seahorse.

 

Judith [00:23:49] Yeah. So, Nicole, you were right. There’s one that was a while back. But “over a period of two years, Lilly and Lovatt, both with very different approaches, tried to prove that human language could be mimicked by dolphins. Lovatt reasoned that if she lived with the dolphins and made human-like sounds similar to how the mother teaches her child to speak, they would make a success.” But apparently it was tragic.

 

Sasheer [00:24:10] Tragic?

 

Nicole [00:24:11] Oh my goodness.

 

Sasheer [00:24:13] The Dolphin Who Loved Me. Oh no.

 

Nicole [00:24:18] What? The Dolphin Who Loved Me?

 

Sasheer [00:24:20] Yeah. It sounds like they were trying to…

 

Nicole [00:24:23] I mean, that picture is pretty wild.

 

Sasheer [00:24:25] She’s, like, up under this dolphin.

 

Nicole [00:24:27] Yeah. Whoa. Wait, Judith, will you tell us what the tragic thing is?

 

Sasheer [00:24:33] Yeah, I’m going to read it right now.

 

Nicole [00:24:35] How wild? But, yeah, let’s see it. I don’t think I want an octopus tattoo.

 

Sasheer [00:24:40] How about a starfish?

 

Nicole [00:24:41] Ooh. I do like a star. And I do like a starfish. Okay. I think I just really want my back to be filled with animals.

 

Sasheer [00:24:50] Yeah, it’s fun.

 

Nicole [00:24:50] I want an animal menagerie/

 

Sasheer [00:24:54] When we saw the flamingos in Vegas, you showed me your flamingo tattoo but in such a weird way. You, like, wound up your arm and was like, “Flamingos.” And I was like, “What’s happening? Oh, your tattoo. Yes, yes, yes.”

 

Nicole [00:25:08] I was so happy to see flamingos. I love them. Their legs are so dumb.

 

Sasheer [00:25:14] It seems like they shouldn’t be able to stand.

 

Nicole [00:25:17] No. And every time they walk, it looks like their legs are about to snap in half. But, boy, are they majestic and pretty. And what a beautiful color. I almost just was like, “Should I get a flamingo tattoo?” I have one.

 

Sasheer [00:25:30] You do.

 

Judith [00:25:30] Here we go. “On June 17th, the BBC will debut a new documentary, The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins. It’s the story of Margaret Howe Lovatt, who in the 1960s took part in a massive, funded research project in which she developed an unusual relationship with a dolphin named Peter–a relationship that at times became sexual.”

 

Nicole [00:25:54] What?

 

Judith [00:25:54] “The emotional attachment between humans and animals is well-documented. Like any animal and human who spend long amounts of time together, a dolphin trainer could say they love their dolphin, but this does not excuse nor open the door for zoophilia or delphinophilia. While I’m a dolphin enthusiast, I am also a firm believer that humans and dolphins should not have sex.” I agree with that for sure.

 

Sasheer [00:26:24] I love how this person writing the article is like, “I really don’t cosign this. Let me repeat. I don’t think this is good.”

 

Judith [00:26:31] Yeah. “Investigating the case of Margaret Howe Lovatt and Peter the dolphin, it was a relationship that started a logical problem. In 1964, Lovatt was working on an experiment to try to teach Peter how to communicate with humans. She literally moved in with him for three months, sleeping next to the tank and working on a desk that hung over the water where he swam. They spent a great deal of time together. And as Peter was a sexually mature adolescent dolphin, he often had sexual urges at inconvenient times.”

 

Sasheer [00:27:06] How did anyone know this? How did anyone know about Peter’s urges?

 

Nicole [00:27:14] Yeah. Was she, like, typing on her computer, and he fucking splooges on her? “Not my computer!”

 

Sasheer [00:27:23] “This is an inconvenient time!”

 

Judith [00:27:24] So as it turns out, it’s very difficult to teach a dolphin to talk when he’s aroused. “Lovatt had found that Peter ‘would rub himself on my knee, my foot, or my hand.’ She allowed it. ‘I was uncomfortable. As long as it wasn’t too rough, it was just easier to incorporate that and let it happen. It was very precious, very gentle. Peter was right there. He knew that I was right there.”

 

Nicole [00:27:59] That’s upsetting. I love dolphins. I would never let a dolphin come on me. That’s nasty. Wait. Would you?

 

Sasheer [00:28:10] No?

 

Nicole [00:28:13] There was this long pause.

 

Sasheer [00:28:14] I’m just processing all of this. So she was in the tank, and she was like, “It’s really hard for me to teach this dolphin the human language when it’s horny, so I guess I’ll let it rub one out on my knee.”

 

Nicole [00:28:27] Also, how did the dolphin know to rub one out on her knee, unless she led that dolphin to her knee?

 

Judith [00:28:34] So they tried to help him. “So, in order to satisfy Peter’s increasing sexual urges, he would be transported to another pool with two female dolphins. This was a logistical nightmare, and it disrupted his communication lessons consistently. Eventually, Lovatt took it upon herself to relieve Peter of his urges, rather than going through the long and inconvenient process of transporting him. ‘It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch. Just get rid of that scratch, and we would be done and move on.’” Ooh. I didn’t know there was more. “Sexual acts between dolphins and humans have a history,” is what this article says. “Malcolm Brenner wrote the book Wet Goddess about his nine-month long relationship with a dolphin. At the Nottingham Trent University. Dr. Mark Griffiths has studied delphinophilia, which means humans sexually attracted to dolphins. There are also a number of blogs and online communities…”

 

Nicole [00:29:42] Enough people were attracted to dolphins that they came up with a word?

 

Sasheer [00:29:45] Yeah. It’s not like just bestiality. It’s specifically with dolphins.

 

Judith [00:29:51] And this article was written by Polly Mosendz. How a Science Experiment Led to Sexual Encounters Between a Woman and a Dolphin.

 

Nicole [00:29:59] Yikes.

 

Jordan [00:29:59] To add to this and this… This is from greenmatters.com. And I just Googled, like, “How are dolphins evil?” “I just want to say dolphins are aggressively horny. Dolphins are often called the rapist of the sea, primarily for their insatiable sex drive. If you swim with them, you might think they are just being really playful, but they’re probably having something different on their mind. Just ask the actress Demi Moore, who had her own uncomfortable encounter with a dolphin on a family trip. And then it’s true. They also go into detail about how male dolphins will gang up on female dolphins and rape them over and over again.

 

Nicole [00:30:53] Oh my God!

 

Jordan [00:30:55] To the point where they’ll, like, kidnap a female dolphin.

 

Nicole [00:30:58] So dolphins are just like us. There’s some men out there who aren’t great.

 

Jordan [00:31:08] And I also want to add that this article that’s listing these negative things–one bold statement is “They carry STDs, and that’s why they’re evil.”

 

Sasheer [00:31:15] Because they’re spreading it.

 

Jordan [00:31:19] This is the other horrible fact. The male dolphins are so horny that they will murder their own baby so that they can mate with the mom again.

 

Nicole [00:31:31] Put them in the cave. You don’t gotta kill it. You don’t want to watch? Put them in a cave.

 

Sasheer [00:31:36] No, I think the mom is like, “Oh, I don’t have any kids anymore, so I need to reproduce.” I think. I don’t know.

 

Nicole [00:31:43] That’s terrible. It’s like, “Wait, you just killed my kid, and now you’re trying to fuck?”

 

Judith [00:31:47] I think that happens with lions, too.

 

Nicole [00:31:51] My goodness. Wow. Well, I’m not getting a tattoo of a dolphin. They don’t represent good stuff.

 

Sasheer [00:31:57] No. You don’t want a rapist on you.

 

Nicole [00:31:59] I sure don’t. That’s wild. Oh my God. I love them.

 

Sasheer [00:32:09] We shouldn’t.

 

Nicole [00:32:10] No. They’re so bad.

 

Sasheer [00:32:12] They’re bad. They’re just too horny.

 

Nicole [00:32:14] They’re just too horny. I guess whales? Whales are good.

 

Sasheer [00:32:21] Whales, I think, are good.

 

Nicole [00:32:22] I can still like a whale?

 

Sasheer [00:32:24] Yeah, I think so.

 

Jordan [00:32:27] Whales have accidentally, like, swallowed people and then spat them back out.

 

Nicole [00:32:30] Oh, that’s nice. Okay. Maybe I’ll get a whale tattoo.

 

Sasheer [00:32:33] Yeah. There we go.

 

Nicole [00:32:34] I love a whale. Oh my God.

 

Sasheer [00:32:50] Should we do a quiz?

 

Nicole [00:32:51] Hell yeah, dude. Let’s fucking quiz it up, brah.

 

Jordan [00:32:56] All right. So, quizzes. “I Can Actually Guess Your Zodiac Based on the Ingredients You Use to Bake Your Cake.” “Create Your Dream Life Using Unlimited Funds and We’ll Give You a Disney Animal to Adopt as a Pet.” “I’ll Guess If You Prefer Hot Weather or Cold Weather Based on What Animals You Choose.” This one’s longer. “Choose a Celeb for Each Zodiac Sign and We’ll Reveal Your Soulmate’s Star Sign.” “Curious What Type of Bagel Are You?” “Guess What These Celebrity Star Signs Are.”

 

Sasheer [00:33:27] Wait, could you scroll back up?

 

Judith [00:33:27] Yes.

 

Sasheer [00:33:29] “Create Your Dream Life Using Unlimited Funds and We’ll Give You a Disney Animal to Adopt as a Pet.” There’s a lot going on with this.

 

Nicole [00:33:36] Wild. There’s so much going on. BuzzFeed. BuzzFeed. “How do you become rich?”

 

Sasheer [00:33:48] “NFL.”

 

Nicole [00:33:49] “By having a successful vlog on YouTube.”

 

Sasheer [00:33:51] Oh, I guess it’s not NFL. It’s “by being a professional athlete.” I just read the picture that said “NFL.”

 

Nicole [00:34:00] “How did you get rich?” “NFL.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:03] “Nothing specific. Just the NFL.” “By selling a baby product on Shark Tank.” Wow. I really thought the sentence was going to be “by selling a baby.”

 

Nicole [00:34:14] “By selling a baby.” “By writing several bestselling novels.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:18] “By being a fashion designer to the stars.”

 

Nicole [00:34:21] “By being a CEO of a Fortune 500 company.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:23] “By restoring and flipping old houses.”

 

Nicole [00:34:28] “By being a celebrity deejay.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:29] “By inventing new technology and renewable energy.”

 

Nicole [00:34:32] “By being a Hollywood animator.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:35] A lot of choices.

 

Nicole [00:34:36] It’s a lot of lot of lot of choices. I think I want to be a fashion designer to the stars.

 

Sasheer [00:34:41] No, that’s good. I’ll invent new technology and renewable energy.

 

Nicole [00:34:48] Wow. Good for the environment.

 

Sasheer [00:34:52] Yeah, I love the environment.

 

Nicole [00:34:56] “Who, me? I love the environment.”

 

Sasheer [00:34:59] “Buy a new home.”

 

Nicole [00:35:01] “Luxury ranch in Wyoming.”

 

Sasheer [00:35:03] “Beach condo on Hamilton Island, Australia.”

 

Nicole [00:35:07] “Luxury penthouse in Dubai.”

 

Sasheer [00:35:08] Stylish brownstone in Manhattan.”

 

Nicole [00:35:13] “Colorful houseboat in Seattle.”

 

Sasheer [00:35:16] “Big colonial in your hometown.”

 

Nicole [00:35:19] “Rustic beach house near surfing in Roatán.”

 

Sasheer [00:35:24] “Cottage in Providence.”

 

Nicole [00:35:26] “Great industrial loft in Chicago.”

 

Sasheer [00:35:29] “Historic Manor House outside London.”

 

Nicole [00:35:31] You better give me that beach house, baby. Yeah. I would love to just walk out of my house into the beach.

 

Sasheer [00:35:39] Yeah, that sounds nice. Hmm. Maybe I’d do a brownstone.

 

Nicole [00:35:47] Yeah. Where? Brooklyn?

 

Sasheer [00:35:49] Brooklyn, even though the choice is Manhattan.

 

Nicole [00:35:55] You love Brooklyn.

 

Sasheer [00:35:56] I do.

 

Nicole [00:35:57] I love Manhattan.

 

Sasheer [00:35:59] “Let’s call the whole thing off!”

 

Nicole [00:36:04] “First major purchase.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:06] “Vintage car to fix up.”

 

Nicole [00:36:07] “A number of first edition books.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:10] “Fully fitted home theater room.”

 

Nicole [00:36:13] “Piece of work from favorite artist.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:16] “Nice jewelry.”

 

Nicole [00:36:17] “Herd of goats.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:21] “Fitted out home gym.”

 

Nicole [00:36:24] “RV for family trips.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:26] “Reinvest in a new business.”

 

Nicole [00:36:28] “Trip around the world.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:33] I’d probably do trips around the world.

 

Nicole [00:36:35] Yeah. I feel like I would get the car, but also, I think I would reinvest in a new business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reinvest. Reinvest.

 

Sasheer [00:36:51] “Donate some of your money to a good cause.”

 

Nicole [00:36:55] “Scholarships for trade schools.”

 

Sasheer [00:36:57] “Community art programs.”

 

Nicole [00:36:58] “Make sports accessible for all kids.”

 

Sasheer [00:37:01] “Wildlife conservation.”

 

Nicole [00:37:03] “Helping kids in foster care.”

 

Sasheer [00:37:05] “Makeover and interview prep for unemployed people.”

 

Nicole [00:37:12] “Animal rescues.”

 

Sasheer [00:37:14] “Summer camps for sick kids.”

 

Nicole [00:37:15] Well, how sick? “Funding for startup companies.”

 

Sasheer [00:37:19] Why does it matter how sick?

 

Nicole [00:37:21] I don’t know. I’m not trying to go there if they’re, like, full of I achoos and sneezes.

 

Sasheer [00:37:25] I think it’s, like, people with diseases, not just, like, colds.

 

Nicole [00:37:32] I don’t know why that was my first thought.

 

Sasheer [00:37:35] “Achoos and sneezes?” Also, you don’t have to go there. You’re just funding it.

 

Nicole [00:37:40] You’re right. Well, I guess I want to make an appearance. I’m not trying to have anyone go, “ach,” on me. Keep those sick kids away from me. Oh. “Support local museum projects.” Well, definitely not the sick kids.

 

Sasheer [00:37:59] I see.

 

Nicole [00:38:06] I think scholarships for trade schools.

 

Sasheer [00:38:09] Nice.

 

Nicole [00:38:10] Because we don’t push trade schools enough. You know?

 

Sasheer [00:38:23] Maybe community art programs.

 

Nicole [00:38:25] Ooh, that’s good.

 

Sasheer [00:38:26] Thank you so much.

 

Nicole [00:38:26] You’re welcome.

 

Sasheer [00:38:27] I’m very giving.

 

Nicole [00:38:28] Very philanthropal. Is that a word?

 

Sasheer [00:38:31] “Philanthropic?”

 

Nicole [00:38:32] Oh my God. Jesus fucking Christ, I was so off. “Philanthropic?” Why is words so hard sometimes? Why? Why is words so hard sometimes?

 

Sasheer [00:38:53] I don’t know why words is hard sometimes.

 

Nicole [00:39:02] So hard. “Pick a party to host.”

 

Sasheer [00:39:03] “Super Bowl party in a box at the stadium.”

 

Nicole [00:39:07] “Black tie New Year’s Eve gala at New York luxury hotel.”

 

Sasheer [00:39:11] “Private campout at aquarium and all get to dive in a shark tank.”

 

Nicole [00:39:19] See, they’re having a problem with words, too. That wasn’t written well. “Private showing at the theater and dinner after.”

 

Sasheer [00:39:26] “Private circus camp experience for all friends in Vegas.”

 

Nicole [00:39:30] Whoa. This is like when after I saw Cirque du Soleil, I was like, “If we all learn stuff, could we all be acrobats?” I think what I was trying to get to was what if I dedicated my life to becoming part of Cirque du Soleil? Do you think I could do it?

 

Sasheer [00:39:46] If you start as a kid? Yes.

 

Nicole [00:39:47] No. Right now. If I started training right now.

 

Sasheer [00:39:52] Again, like I said before, I think you can be a clown.

 

Nicole [00:39:58] And it stings just as hard as the first time you said it.

 

Sasheer [00:40:01] That’s not an insult! The clowns were a big part of the show. And they need comedic relief. And they’re very good at their job. And I think they probably went to some sort of clowning program or something. It’s not just, like, any old person can be a clown for Cirque du Soleil.

 

Nicole [00:40:17] I’m trying to bend. I’m trying to swing. I’m trying to climb. I’m trying to be strong. And you say, “Be a clown.” So, you can see how that hurts.

 

Sasheer [00:40:32] I do believe you can bend and climb and do all that stuff.

 

Nicole [00:40:37] But as a clown. And not a very cool contortionist.

 

Sasheer [00:40:45] I think you could probably be a contortionist, just not Cirque du Soleil level. Those people train since they’re a kid.

 

Nicole [00:40:53] You really don’t think if I started now and trained every day, I could be in Cirque du Soleil in a couple of years?

 

Sasheer [00:41:03] No! You fell down your own stairs that you walk up and down every day. No, I do not think you could flip and jump and do all that stuff on stage. No.

 

Nicole [00:41:16] Wow. I thought you were my friend. And you don’t believe in me.

 

Sasheer [00:41:21] I’m just thinking about the facts.

 

Nicole [00:41:24] Wow. I’m going to prove you wrong. Imagine I secretly joined the Cirque du Soleil. And I won’t tell you. And I just invite you to Vegas.

 

Sasheer [00:41:36] I would lose my mind.

 

Nicole [00:41:39] All right. This is the goal. I’m going to be in Cirque du Soleil–just you wait–and I won’t be a clown. I will not be a clown.

 

Sasheer [00:41:49] You’ll be that old man who was chasing–

 

Nicole [00:41:53] No! No, I will be swinging and strong and bending!

 

Sasheer [00:41:59] Well, I can’t wait to see it.

 

Nicole [00:42:01] I don’t believe you.

 

Sasheer [00:42:05] “Rent out a cool villa in Thailand for your birthday with your close friends.”

 

Nicole [00:42:10] God, this is like the time that you said you wouldn’t be with me during a zombie apocalypse. Or you said I wouldn’t survive. “Have a designer do a private show.”

 

Sasheer [00:42:19] “Pay for extended family to come for a massive reunion.”

 

Nicole [00:42:23] Clown… “Rent out art gallery for cocktail party.”

 

Sasheer [00:42:28] “Deep-sea fishing on a yacht to a cookout on private beach.” Well, your yacht’s going to say.

 

Nicole [00:42:35] Yeah, I’m not doing that with the orcas.

 

Sasheer [00:42:36] Gathering and whatnot.

 

Nicole [00:42:38] But I’m going to do a private circus camp for all my friends who believe in me. So, I guess you’re not invited.

 

Sasheer [00:42:53] Fine.

 

Nicole [00:42:55] I just can’t believe you don’t think–

 

Sasheer [00:43:00] But you do? You legit think?

 

Nicole [00:43:02] I really think that if I worked really hard, I could do it.

 

Sasheer [00:43:06] I believe if you work really hard, you will be so good at bending and being strong and whatever else you said that you wanted. I just don’t think it’ll match the caliber of talent that they’re looking for in a Cirque du Soleil show. That’s all.

 

Nicole [00:43:20] You’ll see. I’m going to audition for Cirque du Soleil and prove you wrong.

 

Sasheer [00:43:30] Well, I can’t wait to see it.

 

Nicole [00:43:39] Thanks. Do you believe in you? Do you think you could?

 

Sasheer [00:43:41] No! I’m in my 30s, and I haven’t even been practicing anything. No. It’s not that I don’t believe in you. I believe anyone I know at this point in their life who have not been seriously trained to be in the circus for their life can make it into the circus.

 

Nicole [00:44:09] Okay. That’s fair. I really thought it was a personal thing.

 

Sasheer [00:44:12] It was not personal to you at all. I don’t think I could do it either.

 

Nicole [00:44:17] Okay. I feel better now because I was hurt.

 

Sasheer [00:44:24] It’s just a very hard thing to get into. There’s circus performers who don’t get into Cirque du Soleil. You know? Like, I think it’s the cream of the crop. I imagine it’s a very hard goal.

 

Nicole [00:44:35] Yeah. I’m going to do it, though.

 

Sasheer [00:44:37] Yeah. Let’s see. I would go to a private camp out in an aquarium. I’ve actually always wanted to do that.

 

Nicole [00:44:47] That does sound like fun. Can I come?

 

Sasheer [00:44:49] I don’t know. I’m not invited to Vegas.

 

Nicole [00:44:50] No, I’ll invite you because you said no one could do it.

 

Sasheer [00:44:54] Great.

 

Nicole [00:44:57] “Pick a party favor to give out.”

 

Sasheer [00:44:59] “Video game systems.”

 

Nicole [00:45:01] “Tablet and Amazon gift card.”

 

Sasheer [00:45:03] “Designer handbag.”

 

Nicole [00:45:04] “New luggage.”

 

Sasheer [00:45:05] “New phone.”

 

Nicole [00:45:06] “3D printers.”

 

Sasheer [00:45:08] “Smartwatch with fitness band.”

 

Nicole [00:45:10] “Custom fitted toolboxes.”

 

Sasheer [00:45:13] “Camping gear.”

 

Nicole [00:45:14] “Robot vacuums.” I would be so mad if someone gave me a robot vacuum. I’d be like, “This?”

 

Sasheer [00:45:18] I would love it.

 

Nicole [00:45:19] Really?

 

Sasheer [00:45:20] Yeah. I’d be like, “Cool. My desk gets swept up automatically.”

 

Nicole [00:45:24] But you have stairs and steps and stuff. They can’t go down stairs and steps.

 

Sasheer [00:45:28] Yeah, but my house is mostly not stairs and steps. It’s mostly flat surfaces. And there are stairs and steps, but the majority of my house is a flat surface.

 

Nicole [00:45:40] There’s one room, and then there’s stairs and stairs. So, you only hit the one room, and then you gotta bring it up the stairs.

 

Sasheer [00:45:47] And I’m willing to do that.

 

Nicole [00:45:48] You’re just going to be lugging this little robot around.

 

Sasheer [00:45:51] It’s little. Set it in the room, I walk away, and it does its thing.

 

Nicole [00:45:57] I want a Roomba that does stairs.

 

Sasheer [00:46:04] I think that would terrify me–if I saw a vacuum going up stairs by itself.

 

Nicole [00:46:10] “Coming for you!” Maybe… Do you have a Roomba?

 

Sasheer [00:46:16] No, but now that we’re talking about it, I might just get one.

 

Nicole [00:46:18] Oh.

 

Sasheer [00:46:21] What was your question?

 

Nicole [00:46:21] I don’t know. Maybe I was going to buy you one for a nice time.

 

Sasheer [00:46:24] Oh. You know what? I don’t think I need it. I won’t buy a Roomba for myself.

 

Nicole [00:46:28] I’m going to get your Roomba.

 

Sasheer [00:46:29] Oh, okay. I thought you were going to surprise me.

 

Nicole [00:46:36] Okay. I’m going to get everyone designer handbags.

 

Sasheer [00:46:38] I’m going to give everyone the luggage.

 

Nicole [00:46:39] That’s nice.

 

Sasheer [00:46:40] Everyone needs luggage.

 

Nicole [00:46:42] Everyone does need luggage. I don’t really have a big suitcase, and I think I need a bigger one. Also, I’m never going anywhere for, like, that long.

 

Sasheer [00:46:50] But you never know.

 

Nicole [00:46:51] You never know.

 

Sasheer [00:46:54] “Pick a business to invest in.”

 

Nicole [00:46:56] “Home entertaining line.”

 

Sasheer [00:46:58] Now this says, “Home entertaining,” but it’s a picture of a cake mixer.

 

Nicole [00:47:04] A cake mixer with eggs going in it. That’s entertaining.

 

Sasheer [00:47:08] Is this a cooking line?

 

Nicole [00:47:10] Yeah, I guess.

 

Sasheer [00:47:13] I guess cooking is entertaining.

 

Nicole [00:47:14] No, it’s not. It’s labor.

 

Sasheer [00:47:16] It is labor.

 

Nicole [00:47:17] We don’t like cooking.

 

Sasheer [00:47:19] I certainly don’t. And I do entertain, but I don’t cook.

 

Nicole [00:47:22] No, me either. I do entertain as well, but I don’t cook.

 

Sasheer [00:47:27] “Pottery studio classes.”

 

Nicole [00:47:30] “Eco tourism company.”

 

Sasheer [00:47:34] “Help fund archeological digs.”

 

Nicole [00:47:37] “Nightclub.”

 

Sasheer [00:47:38] “Outdoor adventure business.”

 

Nicole [00:47:39] “Stick to the stock market.”

 

Sasheer [00:47:42] “Yoga studio and retreat.”

 

Nicole [00:47:44] “ATVs and other sports vehicles shop.”

 

Sasheer [00:47:46] “Luxury spa.”

 

Nicole [00:47:50] “Nightclub.”

 

Sasheer [00:47:51] I think I’m going to do the ecotourism company.

 

Nicole [00:47:55] Oh, that’s nice. Wow. You really do love the environment.

 

Sasheer [00:48:00] I love it.

 

Nicole [00:48:02] What is this quiz?

 

Sasheer [00:48:05] Oh, yeah. I forgot. Something about “We’ll tell you what Disney animal to adopt.”

 

Nicole [00:48:12] Oh, yeah. “Build a Portfolio, We’ll Tell You What Cartoon to Take in.”

 

Sasheer [00:48:21] It’s really funny.

 

Nicole [00:48:23] Oh boy. Okay.

 

Sasheer [00:48:28] “And finally, choose a vacation to go on.”

 

Nicole [00:48:31] “Private beach villa in…

 

Sasheer [00:48:35] “Mustique?”

 

Nicole [00:48:36] “Mustique?”

 

Sasheer [00:48:36] Never heard of it.

 

Nicole [00:48:37] Me neither.

 

Sasheer [00:48:38] “Private shows during Sydney Fashion Week.”

 

Nicole [00:48:42] “Skiing in the Cloisters, Switzerland.”

 

Sasheer [00:48:45] “Private anime lessons in Tokyo with top artist.”

 

Nicole [00:48:48] Oh, that’s nice. What? “Stay at a giraffe manor on safari in Kenya.” I could sleep with a giraffe?

 

Sasheer [00:48:57] I don’t think you could sleep with a giraffe. I feel like we’ve talked about this, no? You can get brunch in this restaurant, and the giraffes will come through the window. Their heads will come through the window, and you can, like, feed them and stuff.

 

Nicole [00:49:12] We have never spoken about that.

 

Sasheer [00:49:14] Oh!

 

Nicole [00:49:14] I want to do that.

 

Sasheer [00:49:15] You should do that.

 

Nicole [00:49:16] Oh my God. I fricking love a giraffe. I need a giraffe tattoo.

 

Sasheer [00:49:20] You should get a giraffe tattoo.

 

Nicole [00:49:22] Oh boy, those long necks.

 

Sasheer [00:49:22] You should get one that starts– The body is on your butt, and then it goes all the way up your back.

 

Nicole [00:49:28] That would be so fun!

 

Sasheer [00:49:31] And the head’s, like, on your shoulder?

 

Nicole [00:49:31] Yes, and says, “Hello! Hey, friend!”

 

Sasheer [00:49:33] “Private cooking lessons at Luxury Oasis in m–” Oh my God. Words are hard. “Private cooking lessons at Luxury Oasis in Morocco. ”

 

Nicole [00:49:55] “Off the grid camping in Denali.”

 

Sasheer [00:49:57] “Take all your friends to a carnival in Rio.”

 

Nicole [00:49:59] That sounds fun. “Private diving and wildlife cruise of the Galapagos.”

 

Sasheer [00:50:05] “Tour and stay in castles in Germany.”

 

Nicole [00:50:07] Wow. I kind of want to go on all of those vacations. They’re really fun. I mean, I got excited about those giraffes, but I also want to go to Carnival.

 

Sasheer [00:50:15] Oh no. What are you going to do?

 

Nicole [00:50:17] I also want to do the private beach. Well, I live on a beach.

 

Sasheer [00:50:22] Oh, that’s right. That’s right.

 

Nicole [00:50:24] Gotta remember those things. All right, I’m partying with the giraffes.

 

Sasheer [00:50:27] Nice.

 

Nicole [00:50:31] Do you remember in Land Before Time when they would call Littlefoot a “long neck” and that was, like, kind of a slur?

 

Sasheer [00:50:37] Yeah. I do.

 

Nicole [00:50:40] So mean.

 

Sasheer [00:50:42] That is mean.

 

Nicole [00:50:55] I. don’t really know why I brought it up. Oh, because giraffes have long necks. Yes.

 

Sasheer [00:51:01] I fed a giraffe. Did I tell you? When I was in Cincinnati at the zoo?

 

Nicole [00:51:07] No!

 

Sasheer [00:51:09] I fed a giraffe!

 

Nicole [00:51:09] This is interesting information that I would have loved to have known. Is there photo evidence of this?

 

Sasheer [00:51:14] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:51:14] And you didn’t send it to me? Why didn’t you tell me?

 

Sasheer [00:51:18] I thought I did.

 

Nicole [00:51:20] Did it have a black tongue?

 

Sasheer [00:51:21] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:51:23] Did it like you?

 

Sasheer [00:51:23] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:51:26] So you went giraffing out in the world and you just didn’t tell me about it. That hurts.

 

Sasheer [00:51:31] I thought I did.

 

Nicole [00:51:33] So you don’t believe in my Cirque du Soleil–

 

Sasheer [00:51:35] You know what? This is also on you. I told you I was at the zoo. I told you all the stuff I did. And you could have asked more questions. You weren’t interested?

 

Nicole [00:51:45] It’s on me to ask questions about your trip? Why don’t you volunteer the information to me and say, “Nicole, I met a giraffe. I think this is information you would be happy about.”

 

Sasheer [00:51:57] I thought I did tell you, but I guess I didn’t.

 

Nicole [00:52:02] No. I tried to coordinate meeting a giraffe when I was writing my book, and that giraffe was not available for friendship. I’m looking. I guess I don’t fault you. You did have a great big trip, and I could have asked more questions. Although asking, “Did you meet a giraffe?” is rather specific. That I will stand by.

 

Sasheer [00:52:23] Yeah, this is true.

 

Nicole [00:52:24] Did you meet any other animals or make friends?

 

Sasheer [00:52:26] A red panda.

 

Nicole [00:52:30] Were they as cute as I think they are?

 

Sasheer [00:52:31] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:52:32] Oh my God.

 

Sasheer [00:52:34] They’re really freaking cute.

 

Nicole [00:52:35] I love them. Did you get to touch one?

 

Sasheer [00:52:37] Yeah.

 

Nicole [00:52:39] Did you hold it?

 

Sasheer [00:52:40] No. They wouldn’t let me hold it.

 

Nicole [00:52:41] Okay. Phew.

 

Sasheer [00:52:43] But I fed it.

 

Nicole [00:52:44] Oh my God.

 

Sasheer [00:52:45] And one actually scratched me.

 

Nicole [00:52:46] Oh! A souvenir.

 

Sasheer [00:52:48] Yeah. I was like, “Aw, it loves me.”

 

Nicole [00:52:52] Oh, that’s fun.

 

Sasheer [00:52:53] Yeah. I met the hippos.

 

Nicole [00:52:55] Oh my God. What are hippos like? Did you touch them?

 

Sasheer [00:52:59] Stinky.

 

Nicole [00:52:59] They stink?

 

Sasheer [00:52:59] They’re really stinky. They’re shitting right in front of you.

 

Nicole [00:53:03] They don’t give a shit.

 

Sasheer [00:53:05] They’re big. And, you know, we couldn’t touch them. And their mouths are huge. But, yeah, they’re cool.

 

Nicole [00:53:12] You ever play Hungry Hungry Hippos? It’s a real crowd pleaser. Fun game. Slam, slam, slam, slam!

 

Sasheer [00:53:18] It also, like, feels inaccurate to… I guess I haven’t seen hippos in action, 24/7, but they don’t move that fast.

 

Nicole [00:53:25] No, hippos are too big to move that fast.

 

Sasheer [00:53:27] Yes. They do move faster than you think, but not as fast as the game.

 

Nicole [00:53:33] And no hippos are purple. Game’s a liar. And they’re not eating white balls.

 

Sasheer [00:53:39] No, they’re eating, like, food.

 

Nicole [00:53:44] What vacation are you going on?

 

Sasheer [00:53:46] I think I need a private beach.

 

Nicole [00:53:48] Yes! I’ll come visit.

 

Sasheer [00:53:51] Yeah, because I live in a brownstone in New York, so I need the beach.

 

Judith [00:53:55] This is Sasheer’s results.

 

Nicole [00:53:59] Oh, yes. The Disney animal that I am adopting after I used unlimited funds for my dream life is Pua from Moana. “You’re adventurous and want to see the world. You love meeting new people. You need a pet like Pua who’s open to hitting the road with you.” Nice.

 

Nicole [00:54:20] Pretty jealous.

 

Sasheer [00:54:21] Yeah. I’m sorry you didn’t get the pig.

 

Nicole [00:54:22] Wait. I don’t know how to say that name. Djali from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. “You are fun loving and have a bit of a wild side.” I do. “You like to let loose and don’t mind the attention.” That’s right. “You need a pet like the Djali who can join your antics.” Okay, I’ll take it.

 

Sasheer [00:54:46] Is it a goat?

 

Nicole [00:54:46] I think it’s a little goat. You know what? I’ll take that goat.

 

Sasheer [00:54:50] Take that goat.

 

Nicole [00:54:52] This is, I think, an accurate thing. Adopt that goat!

 

Sasheer [00:54:59] Yeah. I’m going to get that big.

 

Nicole [00:55:14] Should we enter the queries of the world?

 

Caller [00:55:18] Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. I’ve got a friend question where I am unquestionably the bad guy, but I was hoping to get your help with it. I’ve got two beautiful best friends. One has a one-year-old baby. The other one is pregnant. I’m 33, and I just went through a breakup a couple of months ago with a person who I thought there potential to be with for the rest of my life. A part of this is that I now feel like the choice to have kids has kind of been taken away from me a little bit, or there’s, like, a lot of pressure on the next relationship because I’m already 33. I’m kind of, like, grieving a big loss about our relationship, my future, kids… And I’m just going through a career change, and I’m moving out of my apartment. So, I’m sort of, like, homeless, jobless, and single. Anyway, sorry. At the moment, the problem is I just can’t stand to hear anything about my friend’s pregnancy. I can’t stand it, it has my heart, and I keep responding with just very, like, you know, “Good for her” or not really engaging. So, my question is: How do I deal with my emotions and just be happy for my beautiful best friend? And also, maybe some affirmations from both of you about why kids are indeed terrible because I’m not even sure if I want to have kids, but I’m just panicking because I might not have the choice. Thank you so much for your help. I’m sorry that I am very much the bad guy here. Please help. Bye-bye!

 

Sasheer [00:56:37] Well, as long as you aren’t actively doing anything or saying anything to your pregnant friend to, like, make them feel bad for being pregnant, you’re not the bad guy.

 

Nicole [00:56:55] Yeah. And I think, like, if it’s text messages or pictures or stuff, you might heart it. I think that’s enough. I don’t think you have to say anything. And I think you can tell your friends, “I am grieving a little bit because I’m not sure if I’m going to have kids. But I’m so happy for you. So, if I do seem a little distant at times, please don’t stop sending me stuff. But that might be why I’m not responding as quickly. But I’m so happy for you. Don’t get it twisted.”

 

Sasheer [00:57:23] Ooh, that’s pretty good. I like that.

 

Nicole [00:57:23] I think it’s okay to tell people when you’re going through something, especially if you’re like, “It’s not about you. This is deeply about me, and I’m in my feelings about it. But I’m so excited to meet your little one.”

 

Sasheer [00:57:33] Yeah, because they’re your friends, too, and they want to know how you’re feeling. And if this is something you’re going through, I think they would want to know that. Like, yeah, you’re. You’re grieving the relationship and the possibility of childbearing at this moment. I would say 33 is still young.

 

Nicole [00:57:49] Yeah.

 

Sasheer [00:57:51] I mean, I don’t know what your health stuff is. I don’t know if you know either, but you can still have kids later in life. Or you can look into freezing your eggs although that might be difficult now that she’s jobless because that is an expensive journey. But there’s always ways to get a kid.

 

Nicole [00:58:14] Yeah!

 

Sasheer [00:58:15] You can just get a kid.

 

Nicole [00:58:16] Everyone’s trying to get rid of them all the time. You can get a kid.

 

Sasheer [00:58:18] You can get a kid… Or not. It’s also fine to not have kids and be a fun aunt.

 

Nicole [00:58:25] Yeah. And body aside, 33 is young. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the next two years, three years, four years. But I will say do not go into a relationship with the pressure of “I need to make this work in order to have a kid.” I think go into your next relationship like, “I hope this is fun and good for me. And whatever happens happens.” But yeah, I think we do put pressure on ourselves to have kids. Also, you can adopt later in life. I just learned that when women go through perimenopause, sometimes they get pregnant even though they think they can’t get pregnant anymore. So, you know, you got that in store for you.

 

Sasheer [00:59:02] Oh no. Poor these women who think they’re going through menopause, and they’re like, “Woo!”

 

Nicole [00:59:10] I told a friend who was going through perimenopause, “When I get my little implant out, I’m going to raw dog because I’ll be in my 40s by the time it comes out.” And she was like, “No girl. Perimenopause. You ever hear about, like, women having babies late because they think they can’t have them sometimes?”

 

Sasheer [00:59:27] Oh no.

 

Nicole [00:59:28] Yeah, it’s never ending.

 

Sasheer [00:59:29] Oh no.

 

Nicole [00:59:30] The fear of having a child never ends. Not until you’re, like, 60 and it’s like, “Fuck.” Oh my God. Imagine being pregnant at 60. Get rid of it!

 

Sasheer [00:59:44] Maybe it’s a miracle baby, and you have to have it.

 

Nicole [00:59:46] I don’t want to be responsible for a miracle. Are you kidding?

 

Sasheer [00:59:49] That’s a good point; it’s a heavy burden.

 

Nicole [00:59:50] You gotta keep this miracle alive, and make sure it goes to school and learns. No.

 

Sasheer [00:59:56] Yeah. I think that’s good.

 

Nicole [00:59:58] Yeah. Do you guys have anything to add? You don’t have to. Jordan was truly like, “Ugh…”

 

Jordan [01:00:03] No! No. I think you guys nailed it. I think sometimes we have people chime in and you guys… Like, I’ll feel like I have something to add, but I feel the same way. I think you’re very young still. I’m 32. I’m in the same boat. But listen, I’ve been single for a really long time, and I’m not really worried about it. But I also myself have health problems. I have Hashimoto’s and PCOS, and that’s really difficult–to have kids. And so, like, there might come a time be like, “I want to have kids,” and it might be really fucking hard. And so, I totally get that. I also get having friends who are in a totally different frame as you. And I do have friends who have been married and have two kids and it’s like, “I cannot imagine being in those positions.” But at the same time, if I had a partner and that’s something I wanted to do with my partner, I would hope that my friends would come to me and be open enough to be like, “Hey, I’m so happy for you.” Just like you guys. “I’, so happy for you, but, like, I’m dealing with my own shit. I’ll continue hearting, but, like, I need to take a moment to myself.”

 

Judith [01:01:11] 100%. I also think, like, when you have friends who have kids, you get to see how they go through it. Again, not every pregnancy is the same. Not every parenthood journey is the same. But if you’re going to be there and you’re going to be the cool aunt, you get a first-class ticket to see what you may have to sacrifice–what you may have to put up with. And if you still want it, that’s amazing. That’s information for you to do what you need to do to prepare yourself for that journey. And yes, you are young. Unfortunately, society, like, has us thinking we’re likely to be thrown away at the stroke of 30. And that’s not true. It’s just not. And so, continue to look forward to what life may bring you. And it sucks to be in a season of loss. It really does suck, but once you continue to process it, there’s more on the other side. And so, keep positive.

 

Nicole [01:02:03] Yeah.

 

Sasheer [01:02:04] Kimmie, if you want to answer as someone who is about to be a new mom.

 

Jordan [01:02:10] You’re going to be a mom?

 

Kimmie [01:02:11] As I waddle over to the mic. I think everyone gave really lovely advice. I would say that I work hard in this season where I’m very happy that I’m pregnant, but also it is uncomfortable, and my body does weird things that I don’t expect. Just be really honest with people about what it is, so they can see there’s good and bad to it. It doesn’t feel like the dream always because it’s very real. And then… I had something else, and then literally my brain is not functioning at the moment. But I would say I think that was really lovely advice. As someone who is in the season, if someone was like, “Hey, I’m so happy for you–I’m kind of struggling with my own stuff,” I would be like, “I get it.” And I think also we’re taught a lot to expect negative surprises in our life, but happy surprises happen too. And so just as you were maybe surprised by these sad things, I think you have a reason to be hopeful that you can be surprised by happy things.

 

Sasheer [01:03:00] Yeah.

 

Nicole [01:03:00] Oh, I love that.

 

Kimmie [01:03:00] Maybe live expectant of that as well because I think it can definitely happen.

 

Sasheer [01:03:04] I like that.

 

Nicole [01:03:06] That was nice. Look at eyes. Oh my God. We’re sending you love!

 

Sasheer [01:03:08] I love it.

 

Nicole [01:03:12] Yeah, me too.

 

Sasheer [01:03:13] Solved.

 

Nicole [01:03:13] Solved. All right. We gotta get out of here.

 

Sasheer [01:03:17] Oh, we gotta get out of here. Okay, great. There’s our outro.

 

Nicole [01:03:23] Whenever that appears, I’m like, “We gotta go.”

 

Sasheer [01:03:25] If you have a question or query, you can email nicoleandsasheer@gmail.com, or call or text or leave a voice message at 424-645-7003.

 

Nicole [01:03:34] If your fingers are burning to spend your cash, we also have merch at podswag.com/bestfriends.

 

Sasheer [01:03:43] If your eyeballs are itching to read some transcripts, we have transcripts for our new episodes! Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com.

 

Nicole [01:03:50] Ooh. If your fingers are burning for supporting, don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe; it’s the easiest way…

 

Sasheer [01:04:00] To support this show?

 

Nicole [01:04:03] It’s the easiest way to support this show. Sasheer, we gotta get out of here!

 

Sasheer [01:04:08] We have to get out of here, Nicole.

 

Nicole [01:04:10] Well, signing off from SiriusXM studios in Hollywood, California!

 

Sasheer [01:04:20] Bye-bye.

 

Nicole [01:04:20] Bye.