EP. 229 — Pegging is Pagan

Betsy
[00:28:14] Yeah, he’s like a crazy big entity.
Mano
[
00:28:17] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:28:18] Whereas Freddy Krueger is like one.
Mano
[00:28:21] Mmhmm.
Betsy
[00:28:22] One, dude.
Mano
[00:28:24] Interesting. Okay. Wow. I don’t even know where to start. They both.
Betsy
[00:28:28] I know, they’re both sca
ry.
Mano
[00:28:28] They both drool. They both love drooling. I’m going to say it. They both
drool.
Betsy
[00:28:32] Does Freddy Krueger love drooling?
Mano
[00:28:33] Oh, I bet Freddy drools.
Betsy
[00:28:36] Okay.
Mano
[00:28:36] Come on. He’s got to drool.
Betsy
[00:28:38] Sure. I feel Pennywise, they really make sure you know he drools.
Mano
[00:28:43] Oh yeah, they make sure but yeah. I mean you just, just look at Freddy
and you’re like, oh he drools.
Betsy
[00:28:47] He d
rools. He’s a drooler. Who would you wanna hang out with more on
a Friday night? I know my answer. Freddy Krueger.
Mano
[00:28:55] Yeah, probably Freddy is more hang out
–
able.
Betsy
[00:28:58] Yeah.
Mano
[00:28:59] But I, my, they’re both very creati
ve.
Betsy
[00:29:02] They are very creative.
Mano
[00:29:04] Very creative killers.
Betsy
[00:29:05] Yeah. And they both seem like they’re having a blast whenever they’re
torturing or killing or, you know, hunting down people.
Mano
[00:29:14] I lov
e when Pennywise possesses a naked old lady to dance in the
background.
Clip
[00:29:20] I was always daddy’s little girl. What about you? Are you still his little girl,
Beverly?
Betsy
[00:29:32] That’s is pretty good. We’ve never seen Freddie do that.
Mano
[00:29:36] Gosh, I like them both. They both have
–
.
Betsy
[00:29:37] Clowns suck.
Mano
[00:29:39] Clowns suck. Clowns are gross. Yeah. Clowns are disgusting. That’s why
I love like I think that’s one thing I weirdly love about Pennywise is, like
, they make it very
explicit. It’s like clowns suck.
Betsy
[00:29:49] Did I send you that that like A.I. thing that made a Pennywise, right? Like
Stephen King put in like in a, you know, those like A.I. things, a description of Pennywise
and it is horrif
ic.
Mano
[00:30:03] I think. Yeah, I think you may have. I need to look, my brain is mush.
Betsy
[00:30:07] It’s fucking nasty. Like it’s scarier than any of the movies.
Mano
[00:30:12] Dang. So. Oh, God. Okay. Okay.
Betsy
[00:30:18] This is tough.
Mano
[00:30:20] This is really.
Betsy
[00:30:22] Because they’re so close. But yet, like, enough different.
Mano
[00:30:25] Really different.
Betsy
[00:30:26] Freddy Krueger, haunted your dreams, Pennywise does it all. Pretty
much. That’s scary.
Mano
[00:30:35] Mm hmm. Yeah. He’ll get you in the daytime. He’ll get you any time of
day.
Betsy
[00:30:38] Yeah.
Mano
[00:30:39] He possesses his whole towns.
Betsy
[00:30:40] Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime.
Mano
[00:30:44] Suppertime.
Betsy
[00:30:44] Pennywise in the morning, Pennywise in the evening. Pennywise at
suppertime.
Mano
[00:30:49] When evil’s on a balloon.
Betsy
[00:30:53] You can have Pennywise any time.
Mano
[00:30:56] Dang. Okay.
Betsy
[00
:30:58] Shit. This is tough, man.
Mano
[00:31:00] Okay. Okay.
Betsy
[00:31:01] I don’t know like, because hmm. I have my mine.
Mano
[00:31:06] I think I have my gut. Okay.
Betsy
[00:31:08] Okay.
Mano
[00:31:10] One, two, three. Freddy Krueger.
Betsy
[00:31:15] Freddy Krueger. Yeah. Sorry, Pennywise.
Mano
[00:31:17] I’m so sorry, Pennywise.
Betsy
[00:31:18] You’re a little too serious for me.
Mano
[00:31:20] You could have won another one, I don’t know.
Betsy
[00:31:21] Absolutely.
Mano
[00:31:23] But that’s not how this happens, this went down. Okay. Okay.
Betsy
[00:31:26] Okay. Alright. Our next one is very scary.
Mano
[00:31:30] This one’s too scary. They’re both little jokesters. Tiny, tiny men who are
jokesters. This is Chuckie v. Mike Myers.
Clip
[00:31:39] Oh, behave.
Betsy
[00:31:42] Chucky v. Mike Myers.
Mano
[00:31:45] Oh, my God. They’re both brandy babies when you r
eally think about it.
Oh, boy. Okay. Chucky, Chucky, Chucky, Chucky. Tiny. Evil.
Betsy
[00:31:54] I mean, Chucky when it comes to horror.
Mano
[00:31:57] Yeah.
Betsy
[00:31:58] Yeah. Evil. Evil. Funny.
Mano
[00:32:00] Mm hmm.
Betsy
[00:32:01] Evil. Down to kill.
Mano
[00:32:02] . Mm hmm.
Betsy
[00:32:04] You know, Mike Myers, I don’t think Mike Myers has killed anybody in a
funny way.
Mano
[00:32:09] Mm hmm.
Betsy
[00:32:09] You know.
Mano
[00:32:10] Just some light. Maybe some light
accidental killing. You know?
Betsy
[00:32:13] You think Mike Myers has accidentally killed someone?
Mano
[00:32:16] Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Oh, sure. By just, you know, just. I mean, look, as
hard as I laughed during the Love Guru, I almost died.
Betsy
[00:32:24] Oh, right, right! You did almost die.
Mano
[00:32:27] So funny. The pee bucket.
Betsy
[00:32:30] I had to give you CPR when we watched it.
Mano
[00:32:30] Remember the pee bucket? It was so funny.
Betsy
[00:32:32] Oh, pee bucket. Chucky
is just, like, so classic. And so funny. And just a
funny doll.
Clip
[00:32:42] Any guy would need a hunk of plastic, probably battery operated to get a
reaction out of you in bed. And by the way, where the hell did you learn to bake?
Betsy
[00:32:57] Like, does the doll and now has split up into being multiple people. That’s
pretty good. That’s pretty good heightening, Mano.
Mano
[00:33:04] It’s good, but Mike Myers.
Betsy
[00:33:07] Oh, he’s always multiple people.
Mano
[00:33:09] There you go.
Betsy
[00:33:10] Everything he does he’s more the more people. Shit, are they? Wait. Is
Chucky Mike Myers?
Mano
[00:33:15] Mike Myers is Chucky.
Betsy
[00:33:16] Mike Myers is Chucky.
Mano
[00:33:18] I think it’s a little bit of Ace Ventura.
Bets
y
[00:33:20] Shit.
Mano
[00:33:20] I think we got a Ace Ventura on our hands. Okay. I know what my answer
is.
Betsy
[00:33:26] I do.
Mano
[00:33:27] Okay.
Betsy
[00:33:28] Okay. One, two, three. Chucky. Sorry. Mike Myers. We’re surprised you
even g
ot entered into this bowl.
Mano
[00:33:36] Yeah, it’s pretty funny and crazy, and I think the bit was worth it.
Betsy
[00:33:40] I think it was great. I think it was great.
Mano
[00:33:42] We had to know. We had to know.
Betsy
[00:33:44] Yeah, baby, yeah.
Mano
[00:33:44] How evil Mike Myers is.
Betsy
[00:33:46] Oh man and Mike Myers is being escorted out and he is throwing a fit.
Mano
[00:33:51] Oh, his Canadian rage.
Betsy
[00:33:54] He’s doing sprockets.
Mano
[00:33:56] Boo, bo
o, boo. Yeah, he’s really his Canadian rage is really, you know,
when a Canadian has blown their top because they say this, oh, come on now.
Betsy
[00:34:05] Oh, come on.
Mano
[00:34:06] That’s when a Canadian has gotten the angriest they’ve ever been.
Betsy
[00:34:08] Yeah That’s bad. That is bad. That’s scary. Get him out of here, quick.
Mano
[00:34:16] This one is actually going to be difficult.
Betsy
[00:34:18] This one is going to be difficult.
Mano
[00:34:20] What?
Betsy
[00:34:21] We got Leprechaun versus Dracula from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Both
funny looking characters.
Mano
[00:34:30] Icons. European icons.
Betsy
[00:34:32] Icons. Oh, yes, European too.
Mano
[00:34:35] You know? They got, they got the old world.
Betsy
[00:34:37] Ireland versus Romania.
Mano
[00:34:38] That whole thing.
Betsy
[00:34:39] They are both like ancient, ancient beings.
Mano
[00:34:42] Yes.
Betsy
[00:34:43] I got to say, though, Leprechaun has cool deaths. Funnier deaths.
Clip
[00:34:
48] Now we’re going to play. Do you want to play with me? Oh, no, no. This old
bloke, he played one, he played pogo on his lung. It’ll teach you to steal me gold.
Mano
[00:35:09] Yeah. Dracula. Mm hmm. Yeah. Funny. Very funny. Deaths. Dracula. A
little m
ore serious with his deaths.
Betsy
[00:35:19] Dracula sucks.
Mano
[00:35:20] Dracula might be a better lay. Like, I. I think, you know. Dracula. What a
lay. You know?
Betsy
[00:35:27] Right. Because I bet Leprechaun, like, would be okay, but would ju
st say
stuff where you’re like, no, not right now, dude.
Mano
[00:35:34] Right.
Betsy
[00:35:34] Not right now. Don’t right now, dude.
Mano
[00:35:37] Not right now. And I, look not that this is the con, but I think when
Leprechaun’s done, he’s done. He’s like, I’m done, I’m cursing.
Betsy
[00:35:45] I’m cursing.
Mano
[00:35:47] I think he curses pretty quick.
Betsy
[00:35:50] Why do you think that
, Mano?
Mano
[00:35:52] Well, you know, he’s pretty obsessed with his own pleasure. He’s pretty.
He’s pretty.
Betsy
[00:35:57] That’s true. He will probably not really pay you back.
Mano
[00:36:02] Right. But, you know, maybe that’s a good thing for some people who just
want a quick thing. Maybe you’re into the quick, maybe into a quick, which I’m, that’s not
bad at all. Quick sometimes quick is great. Just like great. We did it.
Betsy
[00:36:13] R
ight. But I mean, Leprechaun says funny stuff. He rhymes all the time,
you know, sometimes you’re just like, what the? What is hap
–
? I would rather hang out with
Leprechaun than Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
Mano
[00:36:31] Oh god, I’m still getting seduced by
that castle life.
Betsy
[00:36:34] Like Leprechaun comes out of a dude’s wiener into space. That’s funny.
Mano
[00:36:40] Okay, that that might have swayed me. I forgot about that.
Betsy
[00:36:44] It’s good.
Mano
[00:36:45] But I will say I’m goin
g to miss the sex. The sex and the robes.
Betsy
[00:36:51] I know.
Mano
[00:36:51] The robes.
Betsy
[00:36:51] Your a big robe head you love a nice, big, long robe.
Mano
[00:36:56] I just want to. I just want to reveal from all those
–
.
Betsy
[00:36:59] But Mano, we can vote how we want and then figure it out.
Mano
[00:37:02] That too.
Betsy
[00:37:03] Because it’s not a big deal.
Mano
[00:37:05] It’s not. It’s not. Let’s go, though. I think I have a really a true, true
answer.
Betsy
[0
0:37:08] Okay.
Mano
[00:37:09] Yes.
Betsy
[00:37:10] One, two, three. Leprechaun.
Mano
[00:37:13] Leprechaun. I really was on the fence until you said you reminded me of
the coming out of my penis in space.
Betsy
[00:37:18] Remember that? In the spa
ce one, yeah.
Mano
[00:37:19] The army guy.
Betsy
[00:37:20] That’s how he gets to space.
Mano
[00:37:23] Right.
Betsy
[00:37:24] Is he’s inside an army dude and bursts out of his wiener. It’s great.
Mano
[00:37:28] That’s really iconic. You got it, you must admit.
Betsy
[00:37:31] Yeah.
Mano
[00:37:32] Okay. Wow. Okay, final match before we get to our top four.
Betsy
[00:37:37] Uh oh.
Mano
[00:37:38] It’s the Descent Monster V the Ghostface.
Betsy
[00:37:39
] Holy shit. Okay, this is.
Mano
[00:37:42] Very tough.
Betsy
[00:37:43] Okay.
Mano
[00:37:44] Very tough.
Betsy
[00:37:45] So the Descent Monsters. They’re truly just trying to survive and live in
their cave.
Mano
[00:37:49] Uh huh.
Betsy
[00:
37:50] You know? They’re survivalists. They’re just like, hey, we’re just. We’re
having fun down here in our blood hot tubs.
Mano
[00:37:57] Mm hmm.
Betsy
[00:37:58] And in the dark. We can see. We can hear. Well, we could smell.
Whereas Ghostface is s
o, like, you know, they’re going out of their way to kill.
Mano
[00:38:08] Yeah. Ghostface.
Betsy
[00:38:09] And to hunt down Sydney.
Mano
[00:38:10] Well, here’s another good thing to think about is like Ghostface. Look, it’s
like it’s very Mannequin Two on the move. Descent monster I think you are, it’s going to be
a Mannequin moment. You’re going to have to be like, this is the world, this is Burger
King.
And they’re going to be ba ba ba ba ba .
Betsy
[00:38:26] Teaching Descent Monster about the world, okay, okay.
Mano
[00:38:29] Yeah. You got to teach Descent Monster about the world whereas
Ghostface, of course, they’re very savvy and they’re li
ke, you know, they know who the
tropes of horror movies. They know they know film, they know cinema.
Betsy
[00:38:39] I know, that might drive me nuts, though.
Mano
[00:38:40] Possibly.
Betsy
[00:38:42] You know, of them being like, well, what about
da da da da? Like I don’t,
I just enjoy this. I don’t give a shit, man.
Mano
[00:38:48] I, I agree. I don’t love people who are like ultra fans. Don’t love ultra fans.
Betsy
[00:38:53] Whereas Descent Monster might freak out when they see a TV and you
have to like no, hey man, this is okay, don’t worry, like Decent Monster is going to freak out
a lot being brought up to the surface.
Mano
[00:39:07] Yeah, that’s a good point. That’s a g
ood point. Again. Got to have a
house with a basement.
Betsy
[00:39:12] That’s true. With a little climbing wall.
Mano
[00:39:15] Mmhmm.
Betsy
[00:39:16] And a blood filled tub.
Mano
[00:39:18] Now, which just out of curiosity, which Ghostface. I know we’re like,
there’s a couple Ghostfaces, but is there one you think of that’s like.
Betsy
[00:39:25] Well, I mean, I think I always think of like Stu and.
Mano
[00:39:29] Woozy here.
Betsy
[00
:39:31] Woozy here! And Billy.
Mano
[00:39:33] Yeah. Billy. Yeah. Stu.
Betsy
[00:39:35] They’re so classic.
Clip
[00:39:36] You’ll never get away with this. I know. Tell that to Cotton Weary and
believe how easy he was to frame. Watch a few movies. Ta
ke a few notes. It was fun.
Betsy
[00:39:52] But then it’s also funny to be like, the fucking director of Stab Three. Who
is her brother?
Mano
[00:40:02] I hate that. I don’t know. Like, what?
Betsy
[00:40:06] Isn’t that like the thing?
Mano
[00:40:
07] So overly, like, overly connected?
Betsy
[00:40:10] Your mom is like my mom. Like okay.
Mano
[00:40:10] Way overly connected. Stop it. Stop it. And no, he left the secret
message tape for you because he knew.
Betsy
[00:40:16] Oh, Jamie Kennedy.
Mano
[00:40:18] Yeah. The secret tape that he knew he would need to record. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
Betsy
[00:40:23] Yeah, if you watching this that means I died.
Mano
[00:40:26] Stupid.
Betsy
[00:40:27] Number two is good, though.
Mano
[00:40:29] Two’s great.
Betsy
[00:40:29] Billy Loomis is mom and hot hot.
Mano
[00:40:33] Great. That cop.
Betsy
[00:40:34] Olyphant, is that him?
Mano
[00:40:35] That car scene. Yeah, Timothy Olyphant so hot.
Betsy
[00:40:37] Yeah.
Mano
[00:40:37] Want to touch the heiny.
Betsy
[00:40:39] Want to touch the heiny.
Mano
[00:40:41] But the cop car is one of the really really really, really, really great.
Betsy
[00:40:44] Great scene.
Mano
[00:40:45] Sound booth stuff.They do. Pretty
great.
Betsy
[00:40:49] That like Antigone moments. Number two is a blast.
Mano
[00:40:52] Yeah, it’s really fun.
Betsy
[00:40:53] I mean, I’ve always loved number two. Okay. Okay. The Descent
Monster versus Ghostface.
Mano
[00:41:00] I have my answer for some reason. I don’t know.
Betsy
[00:41:02] Okay.
Mano
[00:41:03] You know.
Betsy
[00:41:05] Okay. I’ll go for it. Okay.
Mano
[00:41:07] One, two, three. Go. Descent Monster.
Betsy
[00:41:11] Ghostface. Oh shit!
Mano
[00:41
:11] Oh my God. Okay.
Betsy
[00:41:13] Okay. I was very like, back and, like, I’m wavering big time.
Mano
[00:41:17] Yeah, yeah. Well, like a tie breaker. I think it’s a fine time for another tie
breaker.
Betsy
[00:41:22] Fine time for another tie br
eaker.
Mano
[00:41:24] We need the help of our lovely producers to decide whether Descent
Monster or Ghostface will go to the next round.
Betsy
[00:41:31] Who’s it going to be?
Anita
[00:41:33] Well, my favorite Ghostface is definitely Billy’s mom. She’s got the best
crazy eyes, but in terms. All right, I’m going to have to go Ghostface. I go Ghostface.
Mano
[00:41:43] All right. Very good. Very good.
Betsy
[00:41:47] Okay. Okay. That was tou
gh though, because I was on the fence of
Descent Monsters.
Mano
[00:41:52] I mean, I was going for the butterface fantasy that is Descent Monster,
you know?
Betsy
[00:41:56] I mean, yeah yeah yeah.
Mano
[00:41:56] Which. And let’s be real. This is th
e poster child for butterfaces.
Betsy
[00:42:02] I mean, Descent Monsters are, they got such hot bodies and kind of
scary faces.
Mano
[00:42:09] They’re very scary. Well, y’all need to come back next week to see how
the top four fares and who takes the
title of scary, horny, horny, scary person. Because
next week we’ll just tease it, we will have Freddy Krueger going up against Chunky.
Betsy
[00:42:26] Oh! And Leprechaun going up against Ghostface. Holy shit.
Mano
[00:42:31] Oh, my God.
Betsy
[00:
42:31] What’s going to happen?
Mano
[00:42:32] Oh, my God.
Betsy
[00:42:32] We don’t know. You don’t know.
Mano
[00:42:35] Stay tuned.
Betsy
[00:42:37] Woo! Oh, wow. Thanks for listening 2 Spooky 2 Handle.
Mano
[00:42:47] Yeah, we are your hosts Mano Agapion and Betsy Sodaro.
Betsy
[00:42:54] That’s right. 2 Spooky 2 Handle is an Earwolf production produced by
Anita Flores and Cassi Jerkins. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer and the theme song by
Cassi Jerkins.
Mano
[00
:43:06] Wooo and a spooky special thanks to John Gabrus
Betsy
[00:43:12] Oscar Montoya.
Mano
[00:43:14] Lamar Woods.
Betsy
[00:43:15] Lauren Lapkus. They all contributed to our Where Are They Now
segment and we love them all.
Mano
[00:43:25] Rememb
er, follow and subscribe to Earwolf Presents to hear new shows
by your favorite comedians.