EP. 198 — Punky Brewster Saves The World

[00:00:06] CHRIS: Hello to everybody who would move to Ireland in a heartbeat. It’s Beautiful Anonymous one hour, one phone call, no names, no holds barred. 

[00:00:18] THEME MUSIC: I’d rather go one-on-one.  I think it’ll be more fun and I’ll get to know you and you’ll get to know me.

[00:00:29] CHRIS: Hi, everybody. We’re recording this, mere days after Boris Johnson’s win in the elections in England, the U.K. and our caller lives there, our caller lives there. So obviously it was on their mind a lot to say about it. And I have a lot of questions because it’s something I read a lot about. But and totally understand. It’s not the entirety of the call. I will say that whether, however you feel politically to hear someone who is on the ground in their own words, expressing their opinions, nervousness, their hopes, it’s, I feel like this one’s going to be viewed as a time capsule of what it’s like to react to something that important politically in real time, within, literal days of it happening. And then on top of it, we wind up talking a lot about dogs and what type of dog I should get, should I ever get a dog? We wind up talking about how nice people are in certain parts of the world. There’s all kinds of stuff. I will say I like this one because it has a thing I always like in the show where it when it has a stretch of. That feels very serious. It is followed by a stretch that feels like a couple of people just chit chatting and joking and laughing. Enjoy. 

[00:01:49] PHONE ROBOT: Thank you for calling Beautiful Anonymous a beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host. 

[00:01:57] CALLER: Hey.  

[00:01:59] CHRIS: How’s it going? 

[00:02:00] CALLER: Hello. How are you? 

[00:02:01] CHRIS: How am I? I’m doing good. I tell you, I’m out in Los Angeles. I never make it out to Los Angeles. 

[00:02:06] CALLER: Oh, that’s exciting. How’s the weather over there?

[00:02:11] CHRIS: It’s warm. It’s so warm compared to New York. I don’t know why I’ve resisted moving here so often. But I’m still not going to. I just don’t feel like it. 

[00:02:21] CALLER: So, what what kind of degrees are we talking? Are we talking like hot, hot, hot or kinda like normal hot. 

[00:02:26] CHRIS: Normal hot.  Pleasant hot. 

[00:02:28] CALLER: Well, what does that mean? You know, here in the U.K., pleasant hot is about, you know, 18 degrees Celsius. If we go any hotter than that it’s a bit too much.  

[00:02:36] CHRIS: We’re talking Celsius, I don’t, it’s, it’s probably like 70 degrees Fahrenheit.  I am ignorant to the rest of the world because I’m an ignorant American. It’s about 70 degrees.  What’s a, how does that convert? Do you know? 

[00:02:50] CALLER: I don’t know, something about the 60’s something like like maybe, I don’t know, twenty degrees? 

[00:02:57] CHRIS: All right. Well, we’ve had a, I’m sure everybody is titillated by our temperature conversions. 

[00:03:07] CALLER: Yes, sorry. I’ve literally become the listener that I’m always like, “Please talk about something a bit more exciting please!”

[00:03:13] CHRIS: No.  It’s fine, you asked me a question. Well, I’ll tell you, I’m a little distracted right now and it’s my fault because we’re connecting the studio in L.A. back to the studio in New York. And it was kind of there were some technical difficulties, and I’m a little distracted and stressed out, but that’s OK. These things happen.

[00:03:29] CALLER: I was a bit distracted because I was at home with my boyfriend. And I was like, I need to leave the house to have a proper conversation, I think.  It’s funny, just about like, you know, he did think about what you can say when you go on the show and, you know, be really cool and talk to Chris Gethard especially from the U.K. and show that, you know, we’re not just terrible calls. Yes. Trying my very best. 

[00:03:52] CHRIS: No, we’ve had good calls. We’ve had some great calls from the U.K., some classics. 

[00:03:57] CALLER: Yeah, no, no, no. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not dissing everybody. It is a brilliant calls that I’ve heard. I’ve listened to all the show. Everybody says that, but I came to your live show in London. Not the latest one. The one last year. 

[00:04:09] CHRIS: Got it. Yes. 

[00:04:12] CALLER: The one where the caller from Paris came through.  And I was just a bit like, uhh. That was an interesting call.  Not much as enjoyable as some others, I would say. But that’s just that’s just me. 

[00:04:25] CHRIS: I have to say. This is the first time I think maybe in the show’s history that a caller has called up and critiqued a prior caller. 

[00:04:36] CALLER: I hope that’s okay and doesn’t get seen as, you know, slandering but it was, especially when you compare to some other calls that have like, you know, either really moves me or made me laugh out loud. It is just a bit, very controversial. We’ll talk about masculinity. I was there with a friend of mine and we were just like, that is not very British. 

[00:04:59] CHRIS: Yeah, well, I will say I will say that. Yes. It it seems that maybe it didn’t fit the British audiences wheelhouse. And I will also say the caller, if I remember, had had some some pithy things to say about England. And it sounds like maybe you’re returning the shot right now about our Parisian.

[00:05:22] CALLER: It’s funny because I am not British myself and I’m here defending them, which is rather funny. No, no, I’m I’m actually originally from Italy, but my parents actually from Morocco. So this might be a first in the show. Again, I don’t think you’ve ever had any calls from North Africa in general, have you? 

[00:05:40] CHRIS: I don’t think so. So you’re, you’re of Moroccan, a Moroccan descent, born in Italy, living in England. 

[00:05:48] CALLER: Yes. Yes, indeed. I also lived a bit in Ireland, you know, your kind of ancestry country. And I can fully share your deep love for the country. That is definitely something that we can agree on.

[00:06:00] CHRIS: The nicest people in the world. The nicest people in the world I think. 

[00:06:01] CALLER: Oh, my God, the best people in the world. I’ve lived there for a few years and it was just happiest years of my life. I’d say. Yes. I lived in County Wicklow, which was. Have you ever been to County Wicklow at all? 

[00:06:16] CHRIS: Can’t say that I have unless I drove through it and didn’t realize along the way. 

[00:06:20] CALLER: Oh, that’s a shame. If you ever go back, I think that is definitely one of the loveliest counties. And it’s just really beautiful. It’s very green. It’s where P.S. I Love You is set. 

[00:06:31] CHRIS: All right. All right. Now, when did you move from Italy? Because to my ears, you have a pitch perfect English accent. But I know that we’ve talked about this show before where accents in England are very discernable to the English.  

[00:06:49] CALLER: Yes. And I would say that and this is quite a fun story. So I studied in Edinburgh, actually. So my English friends would say that have a Scottish accent but my Scottish friends would say that I have an English slang, which is quite fun. And you asked me when I moved, so that is, I am in my late 20s now. I moved when I was 18 and I moved straight to Ireland first, lived there, then moved to England, in the south of England, then moved to Edinburgh and then moved again to London two years ago. 

[00:07:26] CHRIS: Wow, everybody bounces around out there. 

[00:07:29] CALLER: Does that make sense? 

[00:07:31] CHRIS: It does. It does. I feel like what it really is so fascinating to see that. And I feel like this might be a strange thing to say right now to somebody calling from the UK. But it seems like when you are in Europe, when you are a citizen of Europe, you are both the citizen of a country and of Europe at large. And that story of bouncing around, I’m jealous of that. That’s cool. That’s a cool way to live. 

[00:07:59] CALLER: It is pretty cool.  Monday is likely to come all to an end. It is a time where I’m kind of considering what my next steps should be. Oh. Oh.  There’s a fox.  Oh hello.  A beautiful fox is staring at me.  It just ran away.

[00:08:22] CHRIS: You have to be kidding me. 

[00:08:23] CALLER: Yes. I live in quite a leafy area of London. So foxes are very, very common. But this one was a young one. You could see they still had the very, very red fur, even though we’re in winter. He’s really pretty. Trying not to scare it away.  It’s gone.

[00:08:39] CHRIS: Now, When I was in, I was in London during the trip where you saw my show. And I was. Yes. Where was I staying, Angel? Is that the name of the neighborhood? Angel, and a fox walked down the middle of the sidewalk with an orange in its mouth. And I thought, oh, I thought that was the most amazing thing that I’d ever seen. But then the crowd informed me that foxes have been hanging out in London more and more. And someone told me the rumor that because fox hunts are now frowned upon, that the exposure, that the population has exploded a little bit. 

[00:09:14] CALLER: Ehh, I don’t know about that in London, I think it’s mostly that, you know, we’ve taken over every single square of the city where they could have possibly lived. So now they just integrate the urban scenery. And yes, fox hunting is heavily frowned upon, but has not made illegal yet, so all the posh people and the aristocrats will still go. And this is a really terrible time because Boxing Day the 26th is Hunting Day. My boyfriend’s holiday, very sadly, some of them. That’s what they do on Boxing Day. Their tradition. Blow up rabbits and foxes. It’s pretty bloody shit.

[00:09:51] CHRIS: Oh, it sounds like a bloody holiday. 

[00:09:55] CALLER: Can you, oh sorry Sally. 

[00:09:57] CHRIS: That’s okay. You’re. I feel like you’re allowed to say bloody shit if you call from the U.K. I feel like that, you get a pass. We had our own Fleabag moment. Fox sighting just like Fleabag. What a good show. 

[00:10:08] CALLER: Oh, that is, okay. Okay. I think it’s pretty much too late for me enough to fill it out myself if anyone that I know listens. But and fun fact. I was at the event on Sunday to see Phoebe Waller-Bridge in conversation about Fleabag.  Funny that you should mention it.  And it was, is pretty incredible. Have you watched it? Do you enjoy it? 

[00:10:32] CHRIS: It was great. It was great. You know, I’m just going to gush a little bit, but everybody’s gushing about that show right now. So it’s. Not the most original thought, but I will, I will say, as a comedian who went to bat for myself and tried to create something original and unique in my voice, I always admire seeing someone else pull that off. And she pulled that off as well as maybe anyone I’ve seen. It’s rare. You know, you see like the stuff Garry Shandling did, you see Ricky Gervais’s Office and a handful of others. That was her show and her voice. And that’s so cool to see. 

[00:11:10] CALLER: I know.  And I’ll say, she is so hot in real life.  She’s standing there, I was a few feet away and I was like, “Oh, my God. How are you just so tall, and beautiful, and funny and just captivating everybody?”  And yeah, it was a real gushy moment. So she was the same age as I am now when she started writing Fleabag, and I’m like dammit, I am slightly behind. 

[00:11:37] CHRIS: No. I mean, If we’re all going to hold ourselves to the standards of someone who took a one woman show and blazed through the entertainment industry on two continents, then you can’t hold yourself to those standards. Now can I? Can I ask you a question? And I don’t want to make any assumptions. So correct me if I’m wrong, now you have Moroccan roots. 

[00:12:02] CALLER: Yes. 

[00:12:02] CHRIS: Now. Pardon my ignorance and explain this to me. My assumption and maybe totally ignorant to do you fit the physical image of someone in England? Because I only ask because I would imagine living in England. 

[00:12:23] CALLER: Someone in England? No, not at all. It’s actually really interesting because it’s a subliminal space where, you know, the kind of Caucasian population, a kind of like Aryan looking or not Aryan looking based on where they are. And that is like, you know, what you would expect as English, I think, in the canon. And then you have the other side of the population, which is, you know, a gift from the Commonwealth really, which is mostly South Asian descendants. So there is a lot of people that their roots can be tracked down to India and Pakistan and Bangladesh. And I don’t fit that kind of visual either. That is quite interesting because I do kinda stick a bit as a sore thumb and really, really funny. And I had tried to call previously during the Brazilian call with a really funny story where I have never been to South America whatsoever, but a lot of people kind of guessed on whatever, I’m cool, I’m going to Brazilian very often. That is just gonna fit their narrative a bit better off for someone from this country, looks like. 

[00:13:42] CHRIS: I ask because I’m not trying, if you don’t want to speak about this, if you had other plans, I’m all ears. I just — 

[00:13:48] CALLER: Go for it. Go for it. I’m open for anything. 

[00:13:51] CHRIS: I’m sure you see this question coming, but I get the sense that the past few years. It’s become a little bit more difficult or concerning to not fit the Caucasian image of the traditional England background. I get the sense that it’s a little dicier these days. 

[00:14:09] CALLER: Yes, yes, you are. You’re correct when it comes to that. But I think in my case, the thing that is quite interesting is the fact that I was born and grew up in Italy, which is, you know, without any holds barred really like this show would want to have it, is one of the most racist countries in the whole of Europe, if not, in my own personal opinion. The whole it’s like, you know, the Northern Hemisphere and —

[00:14:39] CHRIS: Did you say vicious? 

[00:14:41] CALLER: Very I would say that if weapons were as freely available in Italy as they are in the United States, and if you had that many people in a country, I think they’ll be they’ll be making headlines more than your Florida man or similar.

[00:15:00] CHRIS: Let me just be clear. I’m getting less. You’re saying that your time in Italy, you face a harshness that maybe we don’t know as much about in the States? 

[00:15:10] CALLER: Yes. Yes, absolutely, so. Yes. Living in the UK as a, you know, a woman of color. Is not that easiest thing. But I think comparing it to my upbringing in Italy is much, much easier. I have like yeah, I’ve been subject to much stronger violence and, you know, xenophobia and racism in Italy. Even though I was born there and I am Italian then I have had here in the UK. It’s kind of like different forms of like, you know, racism I’d call it. I mean, people are very upfront with their political views. Where in the UK. It’s quite hard to kind of gage whether someone is, you know, a racist until it’s kind of too late. And you’re like, oh, god, when we were friends kind of thing. Does that make sense? 

[00:16:01] CHRIS: It does. It does. I mean, I guess I am aware that. Italy has elected some people further to the right than than usual. 

[00:16:12] CALLER: Oh, my God, it’s literally not even the right is just the absolute far right and like it’s just it’s a bit of a joke. It started as a joke where it’s like really funny, these two that because the one of the biggest parties, which is now in the far right, was started by a comedian. 

[00:16:32] CHRIS: By comedian?  

[00:16:35] CALLER: Yes. He is called Beppe Grillo. And he was a kind of, a prime time TV comedian. And then a few years ago, he started a political party that was meant to be like center left. And then in the last few years has gone all the way to the right. And which is kind of confusing, but also kind of worrying because that’s how fascism really started. 

[00:17:02] CHRIS: I got to say, as a comedian, you shouldn’t, you should, we shouldn’t be trusting comedians to run political parties. The Ukrainian President a comedian as well, I know comedians. They are dirtbags across the board. They are. I mean, not 100 percent are lazy, lazy people who want instant gratification and who live like vagabonds without roots.  These are —

[00:17:27] CALLER: I mean, not everybody I know. I mean, some comedians are absolutely delightful like yourself I’d say.

[00:17:32]  CHRIS: Yeah, I would — 

[00:17:34] CALLER: I have loved listening to the show for years now. And I’m like, you know, it’s kind of like you the morning listening to Chris in my ears. It’s, it’s kind of reassuring. 

[00:17:43] CHRIS: But listen —

[00:17:43] CALLER: Whenever a show comes out.

[00:17:44] CHRIS: That’s so kind of you. And I’m glad to provide some reassurance. That being said, if you heard that I was creating a political party, you wouldn’t think that was gonna end smoothly. 

[00:17:55] CALLER: The punk rock Gethard.  Would that be it?

[00:17:58] CHRIS: It would quick. Yeah, quickly it might. My lack of authority and ability to just organize things know quickly descend into some sort of like crazy anarchy.  Oh, God. 

[00:18:11]  CALLER: Which would be rather fun, I’d say. Yeah. Yeah. No, definitely, I mean the UK  has its challenges. But after growing up in Italy. I think I’m quite temperate for them. Yeah. And I think it kind of has its own challenges. But like everywhere else, if you kind of share some peace, people are less likely to come for you. And you know, having witnessed that many times, I am the person that will scream at you on the tube if I see you harassing other women or harassing anyone else. So I very rarely stand back because it’s just. Can I reach limit? I have reached limit in general, especially with this new election, though. You know, when someone like Boris Johnson has won. And, you know, people can think whatever they want about the Conservatives and the Labor Party. But I personally think this is a tragedy where literally we’re governed by someone who hides in a fridge. Did you see that Chris? Did you see it?

[00:19:11] CHRIS: What he did, he what now? You got swallowed up in your passion. 

[00:19:14] CALLER: He hid in a fridge.

[00:19:15] CHRIS: Oh, yeah, I heard that. He hid in a fridge. I did hear something about that. I don’t know the full story, but to avoid, was it to avoid some reporters who had tough questions? He hid in a refrigerator? 

[00:19:25] CALLER: Yes. Yes. And then when he couldn’t avoid the reporter anymore, he just took the reporter’s phone and put in his pocket. 

[00:19:32] CHRIS: Mm hmm. I guess that’s one strategy. 

[00:19:35] CALLER: No, just like. Yeah. This is our prime minister now. 

[00:19:38] CHRIS: Now, have you ever heard of a show? Have you ever heard of an American show from the 1980s called Punky Brewster? 

[00:19:45] CALLER: No. Sounds good though. 

[00:19:48] CHRIS: It’s a great name for a show. Punky Brewster was a show in a very specific time in the 80s, and it fit a certain type of lovable cheesiest. But they had a very, you know, back in the 80s, there were a lot of American TV shows that were comedies that would do a very special episode. And this became like an infamous thing because they would tackle serious topics like Different Strokes had one.  Different Strokes had two actually, one about kidnaping and one about how kids can avoid molestation. Family Ties had one about alcohol they would get really serious. Now Punky Brewster had an episode all about the dangers of never playing in refrigerators, that if you see an old refrigerator, your kid might be tempted to get inside it, but you can’t really open them doors from the inside. You suffocate inside the fridge. Punky Brewster in the 80s, warned of this, now your leader is falling into these traps. This guy needs to watch some old episodes of Punky Brewster. 

[00:20:47] CALLER: We’ll have to send it to him.  Feel free to tag him on Twitter.

[00:20:50] CHRIS: Please do. 

[00:20:52] CALLER: He’d probably will look at it. Oh, it’s funny you said that. Because you just reminded me of a really funny story of once, when my cousin locked me into a cupboard. A cupboard? And I thought. Really, funnily. I’d pretend to disappear and climb into the freezer. You know, this big square, compartment freezers. And as soon as I got in, I couldn’t open the lid anymore and scream my eyes out and then thankfully they got me out really quickly. So it was no trouble. But, you know, I just I just feel that I cannot panic or rush back. Oh, my God. I could have died. 

[00:21:29] CHRIS: It sounds to me like perhaps one of the greatest gifts America could spread to the world right now is to mass distribute that one episode of Punky Brewster from 30 years ago. 

[00:21:41] CHRIS: Let’s go ahead and pause right there, everybody, because I think the impacts of so many people nodding their heads at once, agreeing with me about the cultural relevance of Punky Brewster in 2019.  We all need to catch our breath.  Here are some ads, use the promo codes.  We’ll be right back. 

[AD BREAK]

[00:22:03] CHRIS: Thanks again to all of our advertisers. Now we’re gonna move on from Punky Brewster to even more important topics. 

[00:22:12] CHRIS: Perhaps one of the greatest gifts America could spread to the world right now is to mass distribute that one episode of Punky Brewster from 30 years ago.  Sounds like — 

[00:22:20] CALLER: Just stream it continuously. You know, HBO, just stream it. 

[00:22:26] CHRIS: Well, now, I do feel like you’ve made it clear you’re not a fan of Boris Johnson, but we did find that you have something in common. We have found the common ground. You have both ill advised locked yourself in cold producing devices. Food storage units. 

[00:22:43] CALLER: I really hope that my friends never hear this episode and think that me and Boris Johnson have something in common. I think I would lose my whole network in one go.  

[00:22:53] CHRIS: So can I just ask. And some people don’t love when we go political on the show. I’m asking that because I don’t. I do like. Being an interested citizen of the world, but the since I got was that everyone was shocked at the degree to which that election just went for him. 

[00:23:13] CALLER: Yes. What’s really interesting though too, I don’t know how much you know about it, but me being Italian, I was not allowed to vote. So I had to watch this unfold and kind of just do my best to continue to talk and influence the people around me. But yes, there was a lot of shock, but I would say, not.  Kind of like we were, I work in quite a big office and we were saying to each other. Don’t be surprised. Prepare yourself for the worst. Like this will not go the way we want it to go. So just prepare yourself. And because it’s done overnight, many of us were awake in our own houses, kind of like exchanging messages. And the moment the exit polls come out, which pretty much tell you, it’s the BBC and ITV together telling you what they think the results are gonna be. And the results were tragic. And a lot of people were just like, that’s it. I’m going to bed. I can’t watch this anymore. But, yes, there’s a lot of surprise for specific things like, I don’t know much, you know, but the kind of mining communities in England.  Do you know anything about them? 

[00:24:31] CHRIS: I know. OK. Here’s what I know. Cornish right? The Cornish have a lot of miners. 

[00:24:39] CALLER: It’s more  the north of England. I, I’m not entirely sure, again, because it’s like I know some things, but I wouldn’t want to, like, you know, give my whole opinion and then get butchered in the Facebook group. 

[00:24:52] CHRIS: I know that the miners had a lot of strikes over the years and they are very generally put upon. And if I remember right, Billy Bragg who’s a hero of mine. He’s written a, I love him. I love him more and more. And now I feel like I’ve come to love him more as more Morrissey has become more and more of a quite concerning person. 

[00:25:15] CALLER: I wish that we could take Morrissey and Germaine Greer and just shove them in a room together for the rest of their lives and just be like, please never go public again and just just entertain each other. 

[00:25:26] CHRIS: Who’s Germaine Greer? 

[00:25:27] CALLER: Okay, she is, oh, God. I’m gonna get murdered in the Facebook group. I think if this ever goes out, she is a second wave feminist who when she just came out with her first, like her first big book, The Second Sex was, was very, very popular. And she was she made a massive impact at the time. And she was really relevant. And she spoke for women’s rights. And, you know, just incredible figure. But in recent years, she has spoken out against the trans community. So pretty much has shown her colors are, as a trans phobic and not acknowledging trans women as women, which in my view, which I think, you know, should be the common view, anyone should be free to be who they truly are. And if a trans woman, if you identify as a trans woman, to me, you’re a woman. There is no difference. But she has been reported, as saying quite harsh things towards the trans community, which I don’t agree at all. And then we have Morrissey, which we all, you know, to just be a bit quieter.

[00:26:42] CHRIS: Oh my God, Morrissey. I got the tattoo on my shoulder. Come on, come on. 

[00:26:48] CALLER: I do feel you. 

[00:26:49] CHRIS: Now it’s made me just fall in love with Billy Bragg even more. And I know that he has a number of songs that are like pro unions and a lot of that. If I remember right, was written in support of miners. 

[00:27:03] CALLER: Yes. And so, yeah. Just a quick note here. I met him and now everybody’s going to know who I am. But in my previous job, we worked with Billy Bragg and I got to meet him. And I can tell you, have you ever met him?

[00:27:20] CHRIS: Never met him, but I’ve seen him live twice. And they were two shows that made me feel like he is a magical human being who really is what he says he is. 

[00:27:30] CALLER: He is delightful. He’s so kind and so lovely and really takes the time to like, you know, just get to know the people that, you know, are around him and working on projects with him. And he was just he’s just really, really sweet. Just, you know, he’s a very gracefully. And also, he’s a big fan of Billie Eilish, which, you know, I I agree with. 

[00:27:56] CHRIS: He has some fantastic lyrics. 

[00:27:57] CALLER: I’m going back to, sorry?

[00:27:58] CHRIS: He has some fantastic lyrics. He has such an even split of pop songs and love songs and then also kind of bad ass. Like political songs So this was about the miners that was, that was a sidetrack where you asked me if I knew anything about the miners and I used it to talk about Billy Bragg. What do I need to know about the miners in the context of what we were speaking about? 

[00:28:19] CALLER: Yeah, in the north of England, it’s where, you know, when there was Thatcher time. Thatcher, Thatcher, milk snatcher. She closed a lot of mines. A lot of people lost their jobs. And she just, you know, pretty much made life very, very difficult for a specific for a lot of people, but a specific area of north England. And since then, since her time, that side of the UK, specifically, England has been historically Labor. Well, we’d call red. And now, for the first time in decades, they have voted conservative. They have voted for the same political party that Margaret Thatcher was part of. And that is unheard of. So it was quite a big hit to think that people who, you know, would think of themselves as working class and, you know, kind of for the many, not the few would vote someone like Boris Johnson. And it’s just yeah, it’s just very complicated and very upsetting and just very confusing, really. 

[00:29:26] CHRIS: So. As. You’ve mentioned that you weren’t allowed to vote. So I assume that you are, you are not a citizen of England. Brexit’s coming. Are you. Are you out of there? Do you have. Do you have to leave? Are you opting to leave or will you try to stick it out? 

[00:29:46] CALLER: Well there is I know it’s really confusing, especially like it’s really confusing for us living here. I imagine, you know, somewhere like the States. So you could apply for something called like, like indefinite stay. So if you had lived here for five years and you could show a record of having paid your taxes and just, you know, having had a job, kind of generally, you could apply for this stay. So that’s what I have done. And I have been quite lucky because I have quite a strong record. I have studied here at university and I’ve been here for eight years, though, and I’ve always had a job. And they could track my contributions that I’ve done or my taxes and my national insurance. So I do have this stay on my passport. But and yeah, for example, I’m going to Berlin at the end of January, which is really fun and coming back on the 1st of February. And yeah, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe they’ll stop me at the airport. Maybe they won’t. Maybe I’ll, I’ll have trouble. I just do what I’ve got a do and see what happens, you know. 

[00:30:58] CHRIS: What a scary thing that you legitimately right now. It didn’t sound like you were being melodramatic. It sounded like you said you’re prepared for a world in which you might get stopped and told, hey. Times have changed. 

[00:31:10] CALLER: Yeah. Because, you know, with this new government, they said 31st of January, they want to get Brexit done, but nobody knows what that looks like, so. It’s just one of these things that’s like, you know, oh. So I’ve had many, many issues in the past where I’ve been in airports and my passport is Italian, but my name isn’t. And people question it, and sometimes they question it quite aggressively. So airports are you know, you know how it is. Airports are not places for fun and giggles. People take themselves, very, very seriously. And they think they’re going to save the world. So they just, you know, pick on normal people just traveling through. So that’s already something that causes a lot of anxiety, and, on top of that, having Brexit just to stay. Yeah, just very tiring thing. 

[00:32:01] CHRIS: Now. You’ve made it very clear that you’re a very liberal person, progressive person. And not everybody out there who listens to the show is. And I have, respect for it. I do want to say, you brought up a word in reference to Italy before, but now you’re talking about like you might just place you’ve lived through close to a decade and you are wondering, am I getting stopped at the border after Brexit? You brought up the word fascism. Do you really do you believe? Do you believe that the world you’re living in and the things you’re seeing in the countries you visited, is that is that word hyperbole to you or are you really seeing that? 

[00:32:44] CALLER: I, this is so hard. You know, just, if I start to crying, please forgive me. But I really wish from the bottom of my heart, I could say it’s that, you know, I’m it’s not. It can be real. But sadly, the more I researched and the more I speak with friends who live in other countries and the more I really look into the more this is becoming more and more of our reality. It’s the rise of national parties, it’s something that really scares me. And I have really close friends that are Danish and live in Denmark. And it’s somewhere where I go really often. And the rise of the far right in the country that has been traditionally very liberal. And same thing for Finland and Greece are having, you know, a rise in the far right. Spain is something that is really scary, is just a lot happening specifically in Europe. And this is, you know, without even looking at something like the United States or Columbia or Guatemala or mainland China and what’s happening in Hong Kong as well. It’s just. Yeah. History is a circle. And, yeah.  

[00:34:04] CHRIS: Brazil

[00:34:04] CALLER: You know, I hate to say it, but. 

[00:34:07] CHRIS: You hate to say it, but what? I interrupted. 

[00:34:10] CALLER: History may repeat itself. I really hope to be proven completely wrong that a detail like tough times ahead. 

[00:34:18] CHRIS: I got to say, I’m becoming more and more with you. Brazil went that way and the Philippines. Their leader is notorious for some of the stuff he said and done. And then, you know, I just want to be clear, too. And I’m not trying to come down on anybody in particular. I had an episode recently. It was with a chef. 

[00:34:44] CALLER: Oh I love that episode! It was the best thing ever. 

[00:34:49] CHRIS: Thanks. I enjoyed it. But I asked him about Anthony Bourdain quote, about how all restaurants and the backbone relates to a lot of illegal immigrants. And he verified that that was true. And he and I kind of I think both, both condemned some closed mindedness towards immigrants in recent years. And a guy left a comment that I saw that said, I hate how anything right of center you come down on as if everybody’s like a maniac. And I said, it’s not everybody right of center if you’re out there. I want to be clear, because this episode has gone political. If you’re somebody who’s out there and you’re like, I think the welfare, I think the welfare state, and I can speak to America. Right. I think the welfare state is run poorly and creating more problems than solutions, if that’s something you really believe. I don’t agree, but I’m not going to be mad at you if you’re somebody out there who says, I believe that less taxes leads to more economic growth and that’s better for everybody. I don’t agree, but I’m not mad at you. But at the same time, at what point is it worth it? Because it hasn’t been kids in cages? It hasn’t been. You know, is is is money is a booming economy worth a president who has mocked disabled people on TV? Like, is that that worth it? You know? So it’s I don’t come down on anyone who’s right of center. But I do wonder. I do wonder why the more fringe is allowed to be part of the team, like they’re allowed to hang out in the same locker room and everybody is willing to look the other the other way for money. And it’s funny because there’s probably a lot of people listening to you and me right now going, well. Fascism is an extreme word. It’s not that bad. And it’s one of those things where it’s like, well, it’s not that bad until it is. 

[00:36:43] CALLER: Exactly. And it’s one of these things that rises, well, you know, in the shadow of what —

[00:36:49] CHRIS: Insidiously.

[00:36:50] CALLER: Right. Really.

[00:36:52] CHRIS: It’s not like someone steps up to a microphone and goes, hey, so shit’s fucked up and evil right now. Like, that’s not how it goes. It’s you inch towards doing more and more evil things. You see how much you can get away with until somebody draws the line and all over the world. Yeah. People aren’t drawing the line. You mentioned mainland China. The, it seems progressively clearer and clearer that there is a holocaust happening there.  Towards a certain religious group, right? I ignorantly I don’t want to mispronounce it, but I believe it’s the Uighur group of — 

[00:37:29] CALLER: Yeah, I think so. I’m afraid I don’t know how to say it properly either, but that is what it sounds like, I’d say. 

[00:37:33] CHRIS: But there’s like concentration camps and rumors of the government saying people are allowed to leave and they’re actually not. You hear really sick rumors of people having their organs removed and harvested and sold. This is, everybody says, oh yeah, I just see fascism. You can’t just say the Holocaust, but it’s like, at what point can I. At what point is it truthful enough that I can? I don’t want to be —  

[00:38:01] CALLER: What I’d like to say to these people is. You’re lucky to be born where you’re born because this is what I have come to learn with time that I was very lucky to have born, to have been born in a socialist country. Some parents that, you know, really took seriously both my education and well-being, even though with hiccups here and there, you know. But who’s not human? But then I look back and I, like my life, could have been so much different if my parents had just you know, gave birth to me in Afghanistan just before the war or Iraq during in a dictatorship. And then the war is like, you know what? It’s just nice that someone has role and you’re born in the right place. That’s not your right. That’s just luck. Why are you taking that right away from other people? You wouldn’t want your family to suffer. Would you want someone else’s family to die in front of them? 

[00:38:57] CHRIS: Yeah, it’s I guess that’s my question before anybody gets mad at me. And before anybody rolls their eyes and says, “Oh Gethard, you’re such a liberal.” I’m actually I will tell you, I’m not as liberal as a lot of my friends. I’m very solidly a Democratic voter and a progressive thinking guy. But I’m not I’m not someone —

[00:39:18] CALLER: You’re a dad now. You’re allowed to be a Democrat. 

[00:39:19] CHRIS: Well, it’s, do. I’m just saying, like, I’m not somebody, I’m not somebody who really has ever, you know, gone out there and proclaimed myself a socialist. And I actually see there’s a lot of things that maybe some of the more progressive candidates are saying where I’m going. I don’t know if that’s the right path. Like I’m open minded. But before anybody gets mad at me in the comments, I’ll just ask. Let me know when. Let me know what it’s going to take before you don’t roll your eyes and just say I’m a liberal. Because as soon as it was kids in cages, that’s when I just went, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a fight. We need to be kind. I’m not doing enough.  I haven’t gone to Texas. I haven’t marched. So I’m a hypocrite. 

[00:40:07] CALLER: Yep. Just like. Yeah, sorry I interrupted you. 

[00:40:11] CHRIS: No, this is your call and I’m off on a rant. 

[00:40:14] CALLER: No but, you know, this may be the last political thing I say because I feel like it is becoming a very, very, very heavy, you know, call. But I have never been to the United States. And, you know, I’d love to, but one of the reason why I haven’t been yet. It’s, I’m scared. That is all it is. I don’t want to go. You know, a lot of it in New York and California and Florida and San Francisco and Massachusetts and all these wonderful places. But I don’t want to get on a plane arrive there and then someone looks at me. And just because, you know, at the corral deck or in the crate, stop me and make me feel uncomfortable. And this is you know, this just might be my opinion, but that’s at least one person that reads it like that. And if I was still, you know, 18 and lived in another country, I would look at the U.K. in the same way and be like, I’m not welcome. I don’t want to go there. 

[00:41:13] CHRIS: You know, I got two reactions to that. One — 

[00:41:18] CHRIS: Let’s pause there. I’m sure everybody’s waiting with bated breath for my two thoughts. We’ll have those two thoughts and many more thoughts, when we get back. 

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[00:41:37] CHRIS:  Thanks to everybody who uses those promo codes and supports the show. Now let’s finish off this conversation. 

[00:41:45] CHRIS: Now, I got two reactions to that. One: I will say that I still have so much love for my country. And the people here. And I bet that if you came here, you’d have a great time. And that’s not just in the city. That’s not just on the coasts. I want to be clear on that, too. Everywhere I go and the people are nice in the States, people are generally nice, actually, in New York they’re probably meaner than most other places of the country because it’s so fast paced. But you’d have a great time. And secondly, I would just say? You know, I think most of our listeners are American. I would just say, I hope everybody hears that you’re speaking and you’re clearly a good humored person, you’ve mentioned, a well-educated person, you’ve lived all over the world. The idea that you’re scared to come to America. It breaks my heart. It’s good place, full of good people. No, it’s not on you, it’s on it. I feel like it’s something that hopefully people hear and go, well, that’s not good. People shouldn’t be scared to come here. Whats going on? Anyway, listen, we’ve already been talking for 40 minutes and I feel like I don’t know your deal. What’s your deal?Who are you? What’s your deal? 

[00:43:02] CALLER: Oh, God, that is a really funny question. Really. This is really funny that I’ve come through the phone calls specifically tonight, cause me and my boyfriend were sitting down and just putting down on paper what we need from each other and what we need from this relationship and what we’re gonna give it. So I think my deal right now is just figuring out my place in this world and in, you know, in the relationships that I formed. It’s um, yeah, it’s interesting. I’ve got to mention, I did go to therapy for a while and then sadly, I had to move and I was just one of those things when I haven’t had time, sat myself down with another therapist. But my partner, he’s been in therapy for over three years. It’s helped him so much. And it all started by listening to Beautiful Anonymous 2 years ago. 

[00:43:55] CHRIS: I’m happy to help. 

[00:43:56] CALLER: Yes, that’s, that’s where like the first idea of like, yeah, maybe we’ll try this. We’ll see how it goes. Yes. Thanks, Chris. 

[00:44:05] CHRIS: Well, I’m very happy that my willingness to admit that I am a largely broken man emotionally has demonstrated some vulnerability that had a positive effect on your partner. Pass on my good wishes. 

[00:44:16] CALLER: I mean, who isn’t? I mean who isn’t broken? That’s one of the things that, you know, I’ve learned very recently by being vulnerable with the people around me. We are all a bunch of broken messes. And if we just admitted that a bit more, we could actually help each other. That’s all.

[00:44:32] CHRIS: It’s worked out for me. I mean, people have been so kind about how I have so publicly mentioned that I cry so often. 

[00:44:43] CALLER: Crying is good. Crying is cleansing and oh, say, I used to be a nanny. And I realized that, look, after small children, same age as your son, if they start crying for no apparent reason and you cry back, they stop. 

[00:44:57] CHRIS: Is that true? Is that true? 

[00:45:00] CALLER: Sorry?

[00:45:01] CHRIS: Is that true? 

[00:45:02] CALLER: Yes. I’ve done it multiple times. 

[00:45:05] CHRIS: I’ll have to let my son see me cry sooner rather than later. It’s actually probably healthy, anyway. So you — 

[00:45:15] CALLER: I think its rather healthy you have given you and your wife. Of course, they’ve given birth to a beautiful boy, you know, teaching him to be vulnerable. I think one of these things that, you know, might be a wonderful gift to give him. 

[00:45:28] CHRIS: Well the kid has no choice. 

[00:45:29] CALLER: He’s so cute. He’s so cute. 

[00:45:32] CHRIS: He’s like a little fashion model, baby. He’s like what people think when they think baby.  Like invision — 

[00:45:38] CALLER: I see him working for Gap.

[00:45:41] CHRIS: Hey if he goes that direction. I got it. Whatever his dreams are. I got his back. So you’re a deal. So you got a partner. You’re figuring out your place in the world. You had some intense conversations about what you need out of your relationship. You’re a true citizen of the world. What else? What’s your, what’s your deal? 

[00:45:58] CALLER: What’s my deal?  That is, I am a bit lost in the world, too, at the moment. I have a job that I really love. But at the same time, tiny things like how, where do I want to take it? You know, I work in really, really interesting industry, which you might know something about, which is publishing. Book publishing. 

[00:46:23] CHRIS: Oh, I’ve dabbled.

[00:46:27] CALLER: You’ve dabbled in it. Yeah. And it’s one of these things that it’s really fascinating. It’s one of those industries that, you know, you are pretty much championing the arts, you know, which is incredible. But at the same time, it’s also an industry that has been very white and very old for a really long time. So to be, again, a woman of color in certain spaces. Sometimes it’s hard and it’s hard to remind people that, you know, things that for them might be funny. They’re at the expense of other people. It might not be OK. But overall, it’s great. 

[00:47:08] CHRIS: That sounds tough. 

[00:47:10] CALLER: Yeah. 

[00:47:11] CHRIS: Now, can I ask? Because when I put out my first book, I was contracted to do so. I wrote and then I walked away. My second book, I was very, very nervous about. I have to. They’ve given me an advance and I have to make sure this book sells enough, I don’t want them. And then I was told that something like something insane, like 85 percent of books don’t make their advance back and lose money and that the industry is built in a way where it doesn’t make any sense financially. And everybody’s just praying that they get the next J.K. Rowling or Stephen King. And that’s how these companies make their money. True or false? 

[00:47:52] CALLER: Yes and no. Cause it depends what kind of book we’re talking here. For example, your book would be classified as celebrity book. You know, you are someone who has a name who people will recognize. You know, someone who has a following.  You also have a platform such as Beautiful Anonymous. So your book would be treated slightly differently than, let’s say, someone who’s written their first novel. Let’s say a love story. And that’s the first novel that got treated very, very differently. 

[00:48:27] CHRIS: Are you talking financially? 

[00:48:29] CALLER: Yes and no. 

[00:48:29] CHRIS: Are you being polite about, say, is this treated financially or through the promotion of it or how much support they get?

[00:48:37] CALLER: They just get treated differently in-house. So, for example, I. Like you treat to brand author as a celebrity author as very differently from a debut author. For example, you know, if you’re going to work on someone like you in your book, you’re really working on the demographic that you’re ready. That you have ready created? You go and target this people you work around them and you create events, you know, maybe in tandem with your own team who creates your own event. And it’s already building on a platform and just kind of like building a book platform around it. Where if it’s a debut author, you would you have to build everything from scratch. So it is. A bit more exciting. If I may say so.  Just working on it, like reading the books, you all enjoy them all. But sometimes when it’s like it’s something completely new, they, they’re no one. And then you start building their name and building their like, you know, following. And then you can go back to people who said this, this book is incredible. You’ve never read that. You don’t know who this person is. But I’m telling you, you trust me on what after all this time that this book is incredible read it. You put in people’s hands and people love it. And then you see it spreading like fire. And it’s like it’s just exhilarating. And it’s very different from working with someone who’s already known like J. K. Rowling or Stephen King. 

[00:50:07] CHRIS: Well, I’ll tell you, that sounds like a great experience. How do publishing companies feel about someone who does have an existing fanbase whose book still sells not well, like my most recent one. That must be infuriating to them that they went this guy’s got a fan base. Let’s give him a chunk of change. And I was very happy with what they gave me. And then it sold like garbage. And I have felt sad. I have felt so sad. 

[00:50:33] CALLER: Don’t feel sad. The reason why you got the advance is because you wrote the book. It is for your time writing the book. So don’t feel bad.  Books sometimes sell, sometimes don’t sell.  Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to publish it. Maybe something else in the, on the market went against it, you know, cannibalized audience. Or maybe, just maybe your fan base are just listeners more than readers? What do you reckon?

[00:51:02] CHRIS: I don’t know. I feel like I split, it split a weird difference between self-help and comedy. I don’t know if anybody knew what it was. And I think maybe I didn’t hit the mark as clearly. Who knows? Anyway, it’s not about me. It’s about you, we’ve got 12 minutes left. What else? What else do, you work in publishing. You’re a woman of color trying to carve out a space in a traditionally white world. Hearing about your relationship. Plus, what else? Tell me.

[00:51:28]. CALLER: Do you want to know the best thing in the world? I am dog sitting my colleagues dog for six days over the end of December, beginning of January. I’ve been pet deprived for the last two years. Getting to have a dog for six days is gonna be the best thing in the world. And I know you’re not a dog person and you know I love you anyway. Even though I do feel some type of way because you don’t like dogs, but I’ve got a dog for a six days Chris. 

[00:51:55] CHRIS: And you’re saying that’s the best thing in the world? 

[00:52:00] CALLER: Yeah, it is the best thing in the world. Cheered me up so much this morning when we were talking and she said, yes, you can have my dog for six days. She’s tiny. She’s cute. She’s go curly little fur. She’s really sweet. She likes cuddles. And I’m gonna take her to the beach. And I’m gonna buy her lots of nice treats and it’s gonna make the world a lovely place again for me. 

[00:52:23] CHRIS: You know what I have? You know what I have, you know what I’ve noticed that I really like about you is that when you get, when you get really excited about something, your accent switches between like four different accents. 

[00:52:40] CALLER: That is very typical. 

[00:52:40] CHRIS: The more excited you get, the more I’m like, wow, now you’re from Ireland. Oh now you’re from Italy. Oh, yeah. You sound like you might be from Morocco. Morocco. I feel like the more excited you get, the more it just transforms over and over again. 

[00:52:56] CALLER: Maybe it’s my deal is trying to figure out my accent is. No. Yes. Just pets make me really, really happy. This is the longest I’ve been without a pet in my entire existence and I am suffering as a result. Do you have any pets? Currently you don’t? 

[00:53:15] CHRIS: I don’t. But my wife has made it very clear that it is not up for debate, that if we have our kid and he’s going to be an only child, which he is, that he needs a dog, she has said he can’t grow up without a dog. If he’s going to be an only child. And I have to begrudgingly admit that there’s a lot of truth in that.  To have a faithful companion. So I guess I’m going to have a dog someday soon and I’ll have to march, and I guess I’m gonna have to march around in the winter and lean over and pick up its poop with my hands. I guess I’m gonna have to do that now. I guess when I’m eating, it’s gonna be begging me for my food and making me feel uncomfortable, banging into my leg, getting a hair on my clothes. I mean, I bet I’ll get a dog someday. And two weeks later, everybody’s gonna hear me on the show being like, I love dogs so much and crying about how much I love my dog. 

[00:54:09] CALLER: I believe, I can’t wait for that.  I know if you are really are not a big fan of dogs, but you kind of like cats. I would recommend a greyhound, a rescue greyhound ideally, but greyhounds are perfect mix of, dog and cat. 

[00:54:27]. CHRIS: I’ve never heard this before. 

[00:54:28] CALLER: And they’re really cuddly. 

[00:54:29] CHRIS: Really? Now what makes them — 

[00:54:32] CALLER: You’ve never heard of Greyhound? 

[00:54:33] CHRIS: I’ve heard of greyhounds. I’m no fool, but I’ve never heard that they’re part cat. 

[00:54:38] CALLER: Yes, no, no, no, greyhounds are not very rarely bark. They’re more like lap dogs than anything else they like. I think they need, don’t quote me on this, but I think they need like  one good sprint a day or maybe once every two days, but for everything else, they’re just very relaxed. They just like to sleep a lot.  They like to be cuddled. And that’s them really. They like to curl up, and they’re quiet. So they’re not little chihuahuas yapping at you and running everywhere, which you might have a dog yapping dogs. But a greyhoud, it’s perfect for the Gethard family. 

[00:55:14] CHRIS: A greyhound. I’ll keep it —

[00:55:15] CALLER: Have I convinced you? 

[00:55:16] CHRIS: I will say my mother in law had one of the ones that chased the sheep around. 

[00:55:22] CALLER: Oh, that’s a boarder collie. Those are the best as well. 

[00:55:26] CHRIS: She had a border collie there. I liked that. 

[00:55:28] CALLER: Boarder collies are so sweet.

[00:55:31] CHRIS: Did you say border colors are sexy? 

[00:55:33] CALLER: I said they’re sweet. 

[00:55:34] CHRIS: Thank you. OK. OK. 

[00:55:36] CALLER: I mean, that can also be sexy depending on what you like about them. 

[00:55:38] CHRIS: OK. But imagine if that came out with seven minutes left. Oh no, I think animals are sexy and I will not and I’d be like, whoa, no. OK. Hold the phone. All right. But the boarder collie was very smart and I liked the idea. I will say the border collie was quite smart and it made it endearing. 

[00:55:57] CALLER: But they need a lot of running. You have to have a garden for a border collie. It would be cruel if you didn’t have a garden for it. Does that make sense? 

[00:56:06] CHRIS: It does. So they’re not good. They’re not good city dogs is what we’re saying. 

[00:56:11] CALLER: No. You want a greyhound. Also looks really fashionable in Queens. I bet. This is what I’m imagining in my head. He’s wearing a turtleneck with a greyhound and a little stroller with your baby in it walking around.

[00:56:26] CHRIS: A turtleneck? 

[00:56:28] CALLER: And eating beautiful food from all over the world. 

[00:56:29] CHRIS: Yeah. That, I will say you’ve never been to New York.  Queens is not the fashionable part of New York by a long shot, not by a long shot. But thank you for believing in me my fashion. I like that. This went from us having a, a level of sharing our liberal politics to a degree that I think is going to inflame a portion of the listeners, a sense of hopelessness about a rising tide of fascism in the world. And now it’s looped around to us being like greyhounds are nice. I like that.  I think that’s cool. I think that’s what this show should be. 

[00:57:08]  CALLER: I think yeah, I think so too. And I definitely think you should get a dog that would probably get you a next book deal. If you put the dog on the front. So I’m telling you, another book. Make it about the dog. 

[00:57:20] CHRIS: My book bombed so hard. Maybe I just need to write some of my dogs. My book bombed. I don’t know. I’m getting in my head about I don’t know if it bombed. I don’t know. 

[00:57:28] CALLER: Oh, no, don’t say that. No. Well I can’t say it, but I’m sure you just find it soon. You know, things sometimes people don’t buy it right away. You don’t know.  I have seen books sometimes they have sold something like a thousand copies. And then phew, then they just start kicking because someone just started something like, an article came out, or a person said something. And then people start buying the book and it grows, and grows, and grows and grows.

[00:57:57] CHRIS: Yeah, who knows? Maybe someday I’ll try to be an optimist like, you.

[00:58:03] CALLER: Please do. Yeah, you’ve done a lot of great things. So you can take the book out of your list. 

[00:58:09] CHRIS: That’s fine. It’s fine. I’m proud of it. I’m still proud of it. I just stress about stuff.  Now, let me ask you let’s go back to some of the more tense topics from before. Because I would regret if I did’t ask this. If the worst happens and you feel like you do need to live, leave this country that you’ve lived in for years. Where would you go? Because you’ve named some countries that concern you. But what are the countries that you’d feel? Maybe that’s the place for me right now. 

[00:58:34] CALLER: A place where I’d love to live is Paris. I’ve visited many times that, you know, I don’t think it’s one of the safest either. But, you know, it’s Paris and it’s peaceful. And I’d love to live there because it’s stunning. And a place that I think is really, really underrated, but absolutely stunning is Ljubljana, Slovenia. Wonderful little city. Wonderful. Just so friendly and warm and so architecturally pleasing and very full of history. But my actual answer is Ireland. I’d go back to Ireland in a heartbeat. I know there is a lot of political problems there as well and there’s a lot of issues, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt a home as much as I did in Ireland. 

[00:59:24] CHRIS: Wow. Good to know. I might wind up there someday, too. I got my passport now. I’m an Irish citizen. 

[00:59:30] CALLER: I’m very good at babysitting. If we both end up there.

[00:59:31] CHRIS: Look at that maybe I’ll just move there. I think it’s too rainy for my wife. I like the rain. I grew up loving Morrissey. I liked the rain. The rain feels to me like — 

[00:59:40] CALLER: You wouldn’t like the rain if you were here right now.  I’ve been walking the streets of my neighborhood with rain falling on me.

[00:59:47] CHRIS: Oh, I love it.  I love the rain.  Hate dogs love the rain. What a drip, what a pill, I sound like. I don’t like dogs, but I love rain. That’s, everyone who gets mad at me about not liking dogs is correct. I understand that. I am unappealing in many ways. Ireland. Why not? 

[01:00:10] CALLER: Yes. No Ireland and just stunning country, just so. People are so proud of being Irish. Which I think is just really refreshing. And they’re really happy to share their culture and history with you. And know just really welcoming. I was very, very warm towards them. Yeah. If I got offered the job right now in publishing, I’d go right away. Wouldn’t even think about it twice. I’d be packing as soon as this call was over. 

[01:00:41] CHRIS: If someone offered you at a good job in Ireland, you’re out. You’re on your way. 

[01:00:45] CALLER: Oh, yes. I’d be on my way right away. Yes. Oh, just. It’s just too stunning. Yeah, how long do we have left? 

[01:00:54] CHRIS: One minute and forty seven seconds. 

[01:00:58] CALLER: Wow. Wow. I’m so pleased here. I’m gonna say that this really has gone fast. My Fitbit just told me that I did 10000 steps.

[01:01:08] CHRIS: Really? During this phone call? 10000 steps. 

[01:01:10] CALLER:  Yes. I’ve just been walking round and round and round. I hope you didn’t hear too many cars going by. 

[01:01:17] CHRIS: No. The cars weren’t concerning. There were a couple times it sounded like low. Right now, low level jets have been flying above your head. 

[01:01:25] CALLER: No, there’s just guys in my posh neighborhood. Oh, I really want to apologize about the constant hiccup thing. I just have quite a weird and rare condition with my stomach, which every time I get, not anxious, but anything, my adrenaline glands kind of kick in. It makes me do this weird sound, which kind of sounds like a hiccup, but it’s not. 

[01:01:48] CHRIS: I haven’t noticed it one time. How are you gonna drop to me that you got a weird hiccup condition with less than a minute left. How are you going to do that? 

[01:02:00] CALLER: Sorry. 

[01:02:01] CHRIS: Could’ve asked you about your weird hiccup condition the whole time? 

[01:02:06] CALLER: No. It is certainly not that fun either, it’s just my bowels are messed up and my guts are messed up, and my love for this is messed up, which altogether ends up in this kind of weird thing that kind of makes me look really rude when I talk to people sometimes and belch in their face.

[01:02:29] CHRIS: I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with that. That’s about all the time we’ve got. What a nice, what a crazy note to end on. I’m so sorry that you’re sick. Hope you feel better. I hope in the long run it’s, I got to say long run I hope you’re OK. I hope I’m OK. Hope everybody is okay in the long run in the face of this scary stuff going on. 

[01:02:49] CALLER: Chris, we’re here. There is a lot of people who still believe that everybody deserves a place, a home and some food and you know, as long as there’s people all around. I think everybody will be roughly okay, you know? Donate to your food banks everybody. Just donate. I guess food banks, that sort of thing. 

[01:03:12] CHRIS: Thank you so much caller for letting me know that a greyhound is the dog for me. I have a feeling there will be two tracks in the reaction to this episode. Some people who disagree with the politics we brought up and some people who even more passionately disagree with your choice in dog. And tell me what type of dog really fits my personality. Thank you for calling. Thank you for letting me know what it’s like to be you. Thank you, Jared O’Connell, for all your help in the booth in New York. Thank you to Sam Keith for all the help in the booth in Los Angeles where I’m sitting. And that was, was a headache. Thank you to Shellshock for the music. Wanna know more about me? I’m going out on the road. Chrisgeth.com find out about that. Hey, if you want help the show, go to our podcast. Rate. Review. Subscribe. It helps a lot when you do. We’ll see you next time. 

[01:04:13] CHRIS: Next time on Beautiful Anonymous. 

[01:04:16] CHRIS: What’s it like to be up close and personal with someone who has a psychotic break?

[01:04:23] CALLER: So essentially he kind of combination of everything that happened was that was another thing where I was asleep and I woke up to him. It was like, I don’t know, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning. It was in the middle of the night and I woke up to him like, you know, flipping the light switch on and being like, babe, babe, babe, wake up. I’m like, what? What? And then all the sudden he wasn’t making any sense. And I you know, I’m kind of in that sleepy eyed. And it was kind of like my clinical brain knocked on. And I realized very quickly that things were wrong. 

 [01:05:00] CHRIS: That’s next time on Beautiful Anonymous.