EP. 322.5 — Re-Release: Jaws 3-D

Paul Scheer [00:00:00] Hello, people of Earth. This week we are taking a July 4th holiday break from Last Looks and instead we are rereleasing a How Did This Get Made classic episode, the 1983 action thriller Jaws 3D. All right. This episode came out in July 2019, right after our Serenity episode that we also just rereleased for our last Matinee Monday. And fun fact, these two episodes together contain the complete origin story for my nickname Tall John. So you finally get the full story right here, back to back episodes. And since there are no Last Looks today, I wanted to tell you all that next week’s movie will be the 2004 tween comedy Sleepover, recorded Live from Largo in L.A. with special guest. I’m not going to say it. No, I’m not going to reveal it. It’s a great one. Sleep Over stars Alex Penavega from the Spy Kids movies and also features Jane Lynch, Steve Carell, and very early performances from Brie Larson and Evan Peters. It has a 15% on the Tomatometer and Joe Leadin from Variety says “Even by the notoriously flexible standards of bubblegum teen pics, Sleepover comes off as wildly unbelievable and often astonishingly silly.” You can stream Sleepover on prime video or rent it at all the usual places like your local public library. I will tell you, sleep over made June and Jason cry. Anyway, if you have corrections and omissions for our last movie Hypnotic, you don’t have to worry because we will cover both hypnotic and Sleepover in our next Last Looks episode. You can still submit corrections and omissions to our discord at Discord.gg/HDTGM or leave us a voicemail by calling 619-PAUL-ASK. Just a reminder, we are going to be on tour this summer. Head to HDTGM.com for all the info that we have about that and when in doubt, go to Teepublic. Check out a shirt. We got the brand new Ben Affleck hypnotic shirt up and it is great. All right, that’s all I got. Enjoy this rerelease of Jaws 3D.

 

Paul Scheer [00:02:07] It’s the most lethargic shark ever photographed on screen. We saw Jaws 3. So you know what that means.

 

Music [00:02:16] [Intro Song]

 

Paul Scheer [00:02:25] Hello, people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made? This is John speaking. I hope you are having a great 4th of July weekend. What better way to celebrate 4th of July than with a classic 4th of July tale. Jaws. Dot, dot, dot. Three. And I am here to.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:02:56] 3D.

 

Paul Scheer [00:02:56] Three. Well, three. They took the D off, June, for this release.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:01] Here’s  the thing that I will say. Always add more D’s.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:07] By the way, not to bring it up, but.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:11] Firm D’s. You got to put firm D’s on the end of these movies.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:14] You joke about this, but I was in Piranha three. Double D They knew their audience. You hear the voices of my two co-host. That is, of course, Jason Mantzoukas and June Diane Raphael. How are you both doing?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:03:26] Well, how are you, Paul?

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:28] I’m very good. This movie I saw in the theater.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:32] Did you really?

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:32] Oh, yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:33] Oh, interesting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:33] I remember this movie. I was so psyched about this movie because 3D.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:37] That’s true.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:38] Big deal. I remember a movie called Dreamscape also with Dennis Quaid.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:42] Oh yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:42] Also in 3D. Very exciting to see these movies and this movie, which June is right, it is Jaws 3D, but they make no like you’re watching a 3-D movie without watching it in 3D.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:57] The the 3D, what I’m presuming is a lot of the 3D stuff is like underwater, slow moving items. You know, it’s a lot of stuff, you know, that is like, you know.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:09] The fish head almost seems like a composite, like it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:12] Really did.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:12] In a studio. Yes. And that and they don’t even change the titles. Like the titles are supposed to shoot out at the screen, but they were left in the trails. So it’s almost hard to read like when Dennis Quaid’s name comes up it’s gotten like a lot of like with like depth to it. Yeah, but it’s hard to read.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:32] I loved the credit at the beginning of the movie that said that this film is suggested by the novel Jaws by Peter Benchley.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:40] Suggested by.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:42] By the novel that that is a crazy. That’s a crazy credit.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:47] I mean, that was I mean, when I suggested I started laughing. And the other thing about this title sequence that made me laugh was, you know, Louis Gossett Jr’s in this movie as well.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:56] LGJ.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:57] Love, LGJ.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:04:58] Iron Eagle.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:59] We got to do that in the Oh, the Landlord.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:02] That’s a great movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:03] I also is which is the one where he’s principles with John Belushi.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:06] Oh, what is that?

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:07] Oh, Jim Belushi. Sorry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:09] Yeah, I don’t remember I’m not going to remember, but. Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:12] But I thought it was so interesting.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:13] We got to do Iron Eagle.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:14] Oh, it’s on the list.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:16] Gedric, come on.

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:17] So good.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:18] He was like, one of the only other people named Jason in the world. Jason Gedrick, and I remember being like, Whoa, cool. Like, because it was otherwise that and Jason Robards and I was like, Oh, that old guy.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:29] So, you know, a lot of Jason’s in your class?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:33] No. And more like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:35] I grew up with a slew of Jasons.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:37] Yeah. No, not really. No. I didn’t know Jasons until much later in life. And Jason’s now Jason is now like, I feel like an extinct name. Like, how many really? And do you know any Jason’s in your kid’s peer group?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:50] No, but I grew up never knowing anyone with my name. Yeah. I mean, there were, like, two old women that I met who had my name, so. But I had several. Jason’s in my class.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:00] I love that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:02] Well to me, I feel.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:03] Good to hear?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:03] I’m glad that there are Jason. There were Jason’s out in the world. It’s an extinct species.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:06] In my classroom were very much made fun of from Jason from Friday the 13th. It was sort of like that. It was like, yes, you know, I also was a lone name person. There were no Pauls.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:18] What are you talking about? You both have very common boy names.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:21] Barely ever heard it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:22] I was very special, June. I was very special. I was alone in the world as a Jason.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:28] You know, it was so hard for people to pronounce my name. Do you pronounce the L? Is it a strong L?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:32] Well, I do remember not to get too much of a tangent, but Paul and I had to pick up a pizza in Ojai once. And.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:40] Oh my God.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:42] We were staying with a group of friends over Thanksgiving. But it was like the day after and nobody wanted to cook. Jason, you weren’t invited, I guess.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:48] I must not have been there at this house in Ojai that apparently a group of you were at.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:53] I don’t remember why you weren’t there, but some people you’re very, very dear to were definitely there.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:59] Your mom and dad were there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:00] Really, Bill and Cindy?

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:02] Yeah. They were having, they were very fun.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:04] Oh yeah. They’re they are a blast.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:06] Oh we had, we had so many laughs. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:08] I have not talked to them since they told me I was a quote unquote “bummer.”

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:12] So the next night after Thanksgiving, we ordered pizza so we don’t have to cook.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:16] That’s the way we roll.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:19] Because otherwise you cooked the whole time?

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:21] I mean, June’ll put on that apron. Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:25] So we go to get the pizzas. Paul and I go to get them. Everybody else stays back. And people are hungry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:32] People are hungry.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:33] People are hungry. And we get to the pizza place and we’re waiting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:41] We go in there like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:43] Yeah, we’re waiting, we’re waiting. And Paul says, “I’m sorry. I’m just checking in cause we ordered, like five pies.” A lot of people were there. I’m like, And.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:52] Yet I didn’t get invited.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:55] You definitely weren’t there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:56] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:56] Yeah. So many people.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:58] Five pies worth of people.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:00] And Paul was like, “I’ve ordered five, five pies for Paul.” She’s like, “Ah, I don’t have that order.” And we’re like, What? And she’s like, “I don’t. I have nothing here for Paul.” And we’re like, We just called. What do you mean? You said to come by in 40 minutes. She’s like, I’m so sorry. I don’t have anything here for Paul. And I’m like, freaking out. I’m like, Oh, all of our dear friends are back there. Everybody’s so hungry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:31] All of your dear friends, let’s just say. Let’s call it what it is.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:36] The people in our life that we choose to holiday with.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:39] Holiday with. That’s good. And and spend holidays. Not like vacation holidays. Yeah, not the British sense. Like holidays.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:46] Federally sanctioned holidays.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:48] Like a bank holiday.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:49] Yes, we bank holiday.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:51] Is this your bank holiday group?

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:52] Yeah. It’s a very odd group. Great people. Odd group. Jason Gedrick is in that group.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:59] Oh God dammit.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:59] Only one Jason in that group.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:00] JG?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:01] So then she says, “Oh, I don’t have anything here. I, I guess I have an order for five pizzas for Tall.” For Tall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:13] Tall?

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:16] I’m enjoying watching June tell the story.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:18] I loved that somehow this story is getting slower and slower and slower. I have five orders for Tall.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:32] Tall.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:33] Tall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:34] I hope your answer was like, Well, that’s not us, because we are Paul.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:38] And Paul goes, I think it’s me. I think you misheard me. And she’s like, No, no, no. This is for a Tall.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:46] Tall. The name. The common name. Tall

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:50] Tall. Wow.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:52] It was a wild ride.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:54] That’s a ride.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:55] And then Talia shire walked in. She took these five pizzas, Talia Shire from The Godfather and Rocky Films wallked in and just.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:02] Five pizzas for Tall. And they’re like, Adrian!

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:06] Is like, Oh, can I just escape this? Speaking of names, like what I thought was so funny with these credits where, you know, it’s obviously sequel, the third sequel in the franchise of the Jaws films we talked about Jaws 4. I would say the only defining thing about this movie is it’s better than Jaws 4 which is not saying much, but when they’re rolling the credits, this is Louis Gossett Jr as Calvin Broussard. It’s like, Well, what does that mean, anything? Yeah, that’s a nothing. I think it would be like as president Abraham Lincoln, you know, like there’s that name is not a character from the movies.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:41] Well, did they do that for all the names? I skipped. No. Okay. I was going to say, I wonder if they were doing it so that it told us that because Dennis Quaid and the little brother character were, are Roy Scheider sons?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:53] Yes, that’s correct.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:54] Which I feel.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:10:55] Dennis Quaid plays. I mean, I guess let’s just get into it. But the chief engineer?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:01] I guess.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:02] I don’t know what his job is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:03] I have a I have a guess. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:06] That’s all I had. Engineering like the tunnels?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:10] Did he build that whole underwater facility?

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:13] I thought he was a marine biologist. Okay. But then later on, when he’s welding, like he’s literally welding.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:21] A facilities guy and she’s the marine biologist.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:24] What’s strange about.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:25] Well, I understand why you thought that. Because he’s a man, and so he should be the Marine Biologist.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:29] You got me.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:30] Right. But. But she was the doctor, and he was just like a handyman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:35] Yeah, cause.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:36] He wasn’t just a handyman.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:37] No, no. I know he was, like, a true.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:39] So it was weird about it because he seemed to be an engineer, Right? But also, like, the operations manager or the guy you call on to come fix the thing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:47] Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:48] Which seemed odd.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:50] Well, he was also. How old is he, do you think? He seems quite young to have the level of authority.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:56] Maybe that’s why everything kept breaking down.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:58] By the way. Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:59] No, it was because of the shark.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:01] No, because there were problems with the gates before the shark.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:05] No, the shark hit the gate.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:06] That was the shark.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:08] And by the way, two sharks. We didn’t even know.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:11] Sorry, but I would think he would create, he could create something with that high level position to withstand a shark.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:17] Well, I think the shark is so powerful, so big, it just knocked it off the rails. Yeah, It wasn’t like it broke. I will say this. I noticed one thing, and this is a very visual thing, and I’m just going to ask you guys to remember it. He rides like an old school jet ski, like the ones where the, It’s not like the one that you sit down on.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:35] No, it’s like it’s it’s not a ski do. It’s a jet ski. So it is. You stand on top of it. Yeah. And the handle pops up.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:42] And so the way that I understand it, because when I was in Piranha 3D, not three double D.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:48] Which you were also in.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:48] I was in both. They didn’t have enough money to do my death scene.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:51] Quick question will you guys be covering those movies on unspooled?

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:55] I mean well we have to wait until the 2017 or 2019 list. I mean, I’m sure. Okay, sure. It’ll definitely be on, I mean, one of them will definitely. Okay. You know, there’s not a lot of horror on the on that list. We actually did a great episode of Unspooled recently where we talked about horror films. Anyway, Spike Lee was on Unspooled last week and he was saying.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:15] That got really weird.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:17] No. So it’s what I remember about those jet skis is you have to kind of be in the water with the handles or ramp them up. You get on them. It’s it’s not a.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:27] You start, usually you started on your knees on those and then got into a standing position because it was they’re very difficult to like just like, what he does you just jump on and off of it like it’s a bike.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:39] And the way that you can tell, it’s so uncomfortable because you see when he goes to the next dock. Yeah, like he’s going in, he’s trying to park it like a motorcycle. Yeah, but you can see I got to jump off.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:50] He literally didn’t. How about the time when he’s driving the golf cart and it tips over? I was like, This is reckless. This movie is reckless.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:13:59] He clearly did both of those stunts.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:01] Yes. I don’t even know that those were intended to be stunts. I think he just went for it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:06] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:06] Yeah. I think they’re like, you can’t get what you can’t fall in the water. And you can see the fear. I see him going in and the thing is shaking a little bit.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:12] I thought the exact thing. I was like, I wonder if he, if he ever didn’t land this because this to do pull, pull up on a jet ski, jump on to a dock, very hard. Very hard.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:29] People look ridiculous jetskis.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:31] That type of jetski for sure.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:32] Oh, yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:35] On all jetskis.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:35] I don’t know. I think I look pretty cool.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:37] Jason looks great on it. Didn’t Tad from General hospital die on a jetski? I remember that as a kid. I remember like Tad was like just a Tad like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:45] Who is Tad?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:46] I remember there was a guy. There was a guy I always like my parents when my mom would watch, like, soap operas. And I think it was General Hospital or All My Children. There was a young guy named Tad and his character died in a jet ski accident.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:57] Was he your favorite character?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:58] Yeah, because he. Yeah, because he was like, kind of like my age. He was kind of like the. Like the new Luke and Laura. Like Luke and Laura were like, a little bit like they were a little bit past my age.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:08] And this is is this before Stamos comes in as Blackie, I believe is his name?

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:13] What?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:15] I’m 99% sure that’s right. Look it up. If I’m wrong, we can cut it from the episode. But I’m 99% sure that it’s right.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:24] Oh, my God. Blackie Parrish on General Hospital. That’s right. General Hospital. I mean, Blackie steals food.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:32] How crazy is that?

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:33] Blackie Parrish?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:37] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:39] Tad is from All my children here. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. His name is Tad is fictional character Tad Martin. Played by Michael E. Knight, not the Knight Rider, Michael E. Knight. But he died.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:50] Well, Michael Knight was the character, and he wasn’t played by the fictional character. Yeah. Michael Knight from Knight Rider portrayed by David Hasselhoff.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:00] Sure.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:05] I love that you were a kid watching soap operas with your mom.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:09] Oh, yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:09] I mean, I would watch soap operas all the time. In fact, I feel a lot of shame over trying to make out with one of my girlfriends because I watched so many soap operas. It was all I was consuming.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:19] Yes. Yeah. Kissing seemed like the most important thing.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:22] And. And also, like, what everyone should be doing at all times.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:25] Yes. Dramatic kissing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:28] By the way, I do have an embarrassing story about that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:32] That’s my pick up line. When I’m in bars, I’m like, Hey, you want to pretend like it’s a soap opera?

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:37] Oh, by the way, just so you know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:39] Because my twin brother is about to come out and he’s a bad boy. Then I go to the bathroom and I come out wearing an eye patch, and I’m like, Was my brother here?

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:50] By the way, Tad did not die on the jet ski. I just Googled it. It was another two characters. They were Greg and Jenny Gardner. And Jenny accidentally gets on the jet ski that was rigged with explosives. So it wasn’t even a jet ski accident.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:01] It was rigged with explosives?

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:03] Yes, it was with explosives.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:04] Welcome back to Soap Talk. 1980s soap talk.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:09] It says Tad, Jenny’s biological brothers scheduled a day of fun for Greg and Jenny at Willow lake just outside of town and Tony wires Greg’s jet ski to explode. But the last minute, Jenny gets on the jet ski instead and she ends up being the victim. She dies at the Pine Valley Hospital at age 20 with Greg at her side. So sad. So sad.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:25] Very sad for them because I believed in their love.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:27] I did, too. I almost I tried to French my mom after watching Love Boat.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:36] I’ve heard this story before.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:38] What is happening right now? Is this for the podcast? Are we putting this out into the world?

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:43] As a little kid.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:44] You try to make out, your words, with your mom.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:48] No I said French.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:17:49] French. Sorry. Sorry.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:17:51] I get it, though. I mean, I get it. I get it because I was too.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:58] I was young.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:00] Oh my God. No, I get it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:02] I was like watching like, the Love Boat all the time. And they were always like, open mouth kissing. So I just thought, Oh, that. I didn’t understand.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:08] That must be the next level of kissing. I guess I can get that. And was she receptive?

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:13] No.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:16] Did she consent enthusiastically?

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:19] Guys.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:20] Oh, God.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:21] Oh boy. I feel good to get it off my chest.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:28] If you’re SeaWorld, why would you agree to this move?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:30] Right. Isn’t that crazy?

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:32] Why would SeaWorld be like put all of our logos on this movie where a killer shark gets here, Our patrons are injured.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:38] Our staff doesn’t know what to do. This movie, I.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:43] Our infastructure is falling apart.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:44] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:18:44] Before it’s even opened.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:46] It was a mess. The whole thing was a mess. This whole movie is. Forgive me, because I did not realize this. This is the same plotline exactly as the Meg. Right. Underwater tunnels. They think they’ve caught the shark, but that’s actually the baby. And there’s actually a mother shark every. It’s like beat for beat The Meg.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:07] I mean there’s only so many shark movies that you can do so once the shark. You can do the shark movie above water. You can do the shark movie below water. Yeah. I mean, it was such a weird thing to have two sharks. What a what a trick. What a trick for you.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:21] I actually thought that worked.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:23] Do you like that?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:23] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:24] It was hard for me initially, because when they, kind of not hard for me, but when they caught the Great White, I was guys.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:31] Hey. Jason. Take half a sip of water.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:35] He’s really taking it rough.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:19:37] Hey, hey, hey, hey.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:39] (Crying) It was hard for me because when they saw it, I was like, That’s the shark. And they caught the shark. And it was a baby. Yeah, It was like it’s such a small baby, and then it died. And the baby shark dies.

 

Paul Scheer [00:19:56] Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo doo baby shark doo doo doo doo.

 

Paul & Jason [00:20:01] [Singing Baby Shark]

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:01] Baby shark is dead. Baby shark died. No, I was like when the when they caught the shark, I was like, well, that shark is just too small. So there’s obviously a bigger shark.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:10] And so you knew it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:12] Yeah, because she was able to be in the tank with a great white shark. And I was like, Oh, that’s no, that wouldn’t make any sense.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:17] By the way, the first kill of the movie, going back to the 3-D, that the composite 3-D shot is like this very peaceful, like kind of dopey looking fish. And then the shark just, like, eats its head off. And then they had just floats. It’s a slow float. Everything in this movie was like, the 3-D is going to be so good. We need to not only linger on it, we just have the audience sit.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:39] Oh, the submersible, that yellow submersible. They lingered on that thing moving in and out of like our visual space. It was terrible looking.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:48] But the crazy thing about that opening shot is there was nothing Again, we didn’t watch it in 3-D. So I don’t know what that experience was like, although in general.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:55] We do have a 3-D TV.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:56] I don’t like a 3-D experience.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:58] You were very mad about that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:58] I don’t care about 3-D at all.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:01] I didn’t care about Avatar.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:02] No, it’s you know what movie I never think about ever. Avatar.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:06] Oh, yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:07] It’s like I saw it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:08] But yet there’s two more being made.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:10] I think there’s three more being made.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:11] Gosh, we did see that together in New York. You and I.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:15] It was not good. I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in that movie and I believe is still the greatest the largest grossing movie of all time.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:22] Well, I will tell you that the the ride in Animal Kingdom is the most transformative roller coaster experience I’ve ever had. You get on the back of whatever the fuck those things are in the flying things. And and you’re in this 3-D world. It’s almost like Back to the Future or Soaring, but you’re flying through the world of Avatar. That’s how you should experience this movie. I don’t need a plot. I just want a flyover.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:44] If I’m going to watch that, I’ll watch How to Train Your Dragon. They’ve got better flying and how to train your dragon.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:49] We’re just talking about this the other day.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:51] How to Train Your Dragon is is great. Those movies, I think, are undeniably fantastic.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:56] You watched the third one in the theater.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:57] Agree to disagree.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:57] Yeah, that’s fine. In terms of like those kind of fantasy movies. I have. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It’s not as good as the first. I think the first one is just great.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:06] I don’t think I’ve seen the first one.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:08] It’s wonderful. It’s just a sweet. I don’t know. It’s not like the best movie of all time. It’s not like, you know, Miyazaki level, you know, animated perfection. But it’s I enjoyed it, actually. I think my expectations were quite low. But my point is, like, Avatar, they have this argument. I will now shout out the Slashfilm cast. Dave Chen, Devindra Hardware and Jeff Canada have been having this argument for years now as to whether Avatar is culturally relevant at all, and I think it is a zero.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:36] I totally agree. I agree. Yeah, people don’t know it. And I have the same issue with that movie Space Jam that they’re remaking with LeBron James. Like you’re making a movie about Warner Brothers characters. No one cares about Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck anymore. They’re they like and that’s that at least makes sense. But Avatar came out. It was such a huge thing. Avengers just beat it at the box office and I don’t think anyone.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:01] I don’t think there’s going to be, I don’t think there’s any nostalgia for it. Like, I feel like the half of the reason Star Wars still exists is because our entire generation is so nostalgic for it still that we can’t wait to introduce it to all of our kids and keep the thing moving forward. I don’t think anybody’s like, Oh my God, my kids got to see the next avatar. We’re so excited to go to Pandora.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:21] You know, by the way. Yeah, but yet.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:23] Pandora is now synonymous with a music streaming service, not the land in Avatar.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:29] I did see Paul after he came out of that ride at Disney. Yeah. And you seemed like a different man.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:35] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:36] Yeah. I mean, I went in there. You always said.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:39] You asked do you want to go on this ride. I said, No, thank you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:23:42] What if we found out that that ride, like they replaced Paul with a clone?

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:46] They did take my DNA, and I don’t remember. I don’t remember a good chunk of it, but my DNA was taken. And then I woke up kind of in a daze outside the ride. And it was great. Yeah, you did. You said no. Do you regret that?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:59] Not at all. Not at all. I’m fine with my roller coaster experiences being what they are currently like. I don’t really need.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:09] I’m cool with past tense.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:10] Yeah, I don’t need anything from a roller coaster.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:12] Would you walk through that haunted mansion in the middle of SeaWorld, which was so odd that they had a haunted mansion.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:19] Oh I didn’t see that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:19] Where basically it’s this one little moment where they’re going through one of the tunnels and then like, a big fish goes, BLAHHH.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:26] And then an octopus person grabs a woman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:28] Yeah. I was like, How aggressive is this? Like haunted house?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:33] They think they can grab people with tentacles.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:36] Has anyone here been to SeaWorld? Is that what SeaWorld looks like? I mean, I won’t go.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:43] I have been to SeaWorld.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:44] I don’t go because I’m, you know, like I don’t I’m not going to, like, go to those parks. I do send them $45,000 a year.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:52] Yeah, I know. You try to keep them open.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:54] I want the park to exist. I just don’t want to go.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:57] Yeah, that’s a really cool thing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:58] I do a lot of fundraising for them.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:00] They are very well-endowed. They do not need your money.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:04] Oh, How do you know they’re so well-endowed? What is this about you? Are you fucking SeaWorld?

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:10] June is in a throuple with me and SeaWorld.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:13] You’re in an open relationship with SeaWorld?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:15] Just SeaWorld.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:18] Paul and I discussed it. It’s out in the open. There’s nothing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:21] We’re okay with it. We’re really okay with it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:25] We’re open. We’re only with each other. But either of us can be with a theme park or inanimate object.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:32] You know, for me, it’s Hollywood Studios, which is a offshoot of Walt Disney. It used to be MGM Studios. I was trying to find on my photos me at SeaWorld tossing some fish.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:44] Why would you ever support SeaWorld?

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:45] When I was a little kid. Is before you were.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:48] Around the time where you were frenching your mom or before?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:51] Did you guys go on a date to SeaWorld, a romantic getaway? You and your mom? Tossing fish at SeaWorld and frenching in the restaurant afterwards? Having shrimp, tossing shrimp cocktail into each other’s mouths, you weirdos.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:08] You know, look, say what you will. My mom taught me a lot of great stuff. And, you know, you know, my mom was the first person I ever played Standoff with the classic bar game.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:26:19] What?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:19] What is that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:21] In this movie. In the movie. In this movie where.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:24] I’m sorry, the pushing game?

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:25] Yeah. With Sean Brody.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:27] I didn’t know that’s what it’s called. But I know that game.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:29] That’s a game like that happened at bars.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:31] I don’t know about bars. No, but, like, we used to play it in, like, Boy Scouts and stuff. It’s like a it’s like a balance, you know, kind of game. It’s like. What is the rule? You have to stay. You have to do, your feet have to stay on the ground planted. Right. And you’re trying to push knock the other person off balance. But were you doing a lot of it is faking them out so that when they gird themselves, thinking you’re going to push them, you don’t. And then when they stiffen up, you push them so that they are suddenly, you know, vulnerable.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:00] I just want to take a moment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:01] You push them straight to the ground.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:03] To just show Jason and June me at SeaWorld.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:07] With a seal.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:07] A seal.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:08] Nice.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:09] Really fun.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:09] That’s really cute.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:11] I love by the way.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:13] Paul is such a cute kid.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:14] Thank you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:15] And I will say a very cute man.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:19] Thank you, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:20] You know, I feel comfortable saying that from the point of view of I only have known you as a man. I didn’t know you during the mommy frenching years of your childhood.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:31] That sounds like a fun game, actually.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:33] Yeah, I think that that’s a game that’s right up your alley. Yeah, The pushing people off.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:36] I feel like it’s. It was like that. I’ve never seen it in this context with, like, older people playing it in a bar or something. Yeah, it was like a kid’s game.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:45] But then Leah Thompson is. This is her first performance, our first movie role.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:50] I love Leah Thompson.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:51] She is the best. She plays Kellyanne Bukowski, one of the SeaWorld water skiers.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:57] And daughter of Charles Bukowski, the author.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:59] Yeah, which is weird. So we didn’t get into that much. Yeah. Yeah, it’s a little bit it’s it’s they fall in love very quickly. But this movie is very PG. I mean, it is rated PG, so like, even they’re like little romantic moment in another movie would have been dirtier.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:15] Yeah, well they would have gone skinny dipping instead of like swimming in their bathing suits.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:19] Yeah, they go swimming in their bathing suits and then on top of that, then they have like a kind of a romantic, like, uh, like bumper boat. They’re very.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:29] But he does say that, like, if Dennis Quaid hadn’t interrupted them. Boy, can you imagine if it had been Randy Quaid in that part? The Quaid brothers.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:38] Randy Quaid from Oh, that. I was thinking he plays his character from National Lampoon’s Vacation.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:44] That would be great, too. But I more mean, like Randy Quaid in this era of Randy Quaid. Anyway.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:28:50] One of the things that made me insane was the, first of all, they all act so goofy, like all of the non sharks in the movie act like insane people.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:01] You mean the actors?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:02] The non shark actors. Because I think June, you delineate between shark actors and non shark actors?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:08] That is correct the non sharks act insane like they are falling all over each other. Yeah everybody’s kissing each other on the mouth.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:22] Dennis Quaid’s girlfriend open mouth kisses her little, his little brother on the mouth.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:28] Is it so wrong? It’s so wrong?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:31] Dennis Quaid doesn’t kiss his brother on the mouth. It’s it’s. Let me be very clear, Paul, open mouth kissing is fine. But, when it’s your mother, that is incest.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:39] Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:42] That’s like me kissing your mom on the mouth.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:45] By the way, I would pay $10,000 to watch that.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:49] It would be really weird.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:51] It makes me already uncomfortable.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:52] Yeah, it’s very uncomfortable. The other thing she does that that drove me nuts was every time she kisses Dennis Quaid, she makes a sound. It drove me crazy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:02] I hate, um. I hate when people in movies, when they’re romantically kissing, do a pursed lip like formal kiss. Not like. Like open mouth kissing. Like we kiss. Yeah, you know, But it’s like a demonstrable, like the sound, the everything, which is like.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:19] It’s like show, don’t tell.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:20] It’s nobody kisses like that.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:23] It’s bizarre.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:23] It’s kind of the Lake House kissing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:26] Yeah. Yes. Oh, boy. So much kissing. Kissing. Also they do that thing where they’re always kissing, even when, like, circumstances are awful, they’re finding, like, romantic beats to play when like, children’s lives are at stake.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:41] And one of their friends has gone missing for, I think, days.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:45] And we never see his girlfriend again. His distraught girlfriend is whose she’s like. She packed his bags. She’s like, He’s left me in there. Like we’ve haven’t seen him. And then we don’t find that guy’s corpse until days later.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:58] And by the way, the movie, the gore in this movie is so weird because when they find his body, it’s comical. It looks like what you would walk into in like a Halloween store. It’s like it’s it’s not well done. It’s not good at all.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:10] And when they pull that blanket off to identify the body, it is like. Like teeming with sea life.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:17] Yeah, like maggots in its mouth.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:18] There’s crabs walking around on his head and there’s, like, I was like, wouldn’t they clean this up?

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:24] Things are floating around in his teeth and they go (vomit noises), But why is the engineer, IDing the body?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:31] And it seems like everybody there, I mean we really get into SeaWorld employee culture in this movie and it does seem like it’s a small group of people where everybody knows everybody.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:41] Everybody’s fucking.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:42] Everybody’s kissing each other on the lips. In that scene where they’re identifying the body, there’s about six other people in the room. Yeah. Don’t they know this man?

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:49] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:50] No, they are. I believe like the I’m assuming they’re police who came in because there’s a dead body. I assume they were like, hey, we’ve got an actual emergency. I think police or medics or something. The EMTs are maybe, I don’t know. But my assumption was they were from outside the park because there’s a dead body. Right. But yeah, that’s that was also confusing because they seemed to be, we, I don’t know. I’m going to ask this question. Is there a scene in this movie that takes place outside of SeaWorld?

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:20] No.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:32:21] The answer’s no.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:22] Right? That’s crazy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:24] I mean, well, I would say that this movie is aggressively light. Like, nothing happened in this movie. And it’s an hour and like 40 minutes. It’s like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:35] Yeah, it’s too long.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:36] Nothing happens in it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:38] Nothing happens for a solid hour.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:40] Yeah, well, I mean, you see shark and the sharks look so fake. You know, that whole idea that Spielberg didn’t want to show it because it would look fake, I guess by three, they’re like, Oh, fuck it. Well, we could just show fake shark. I mean, every time you see the shark, it looks fake except for when it’s a real shark and they literally speed it up to look more intimidating. I think there’s moments where the shark is on sped up film, but he doesn’t look, he looks tranquilized and tired like this.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:04] Only ever really see that shark. And by the way, it’s a she.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:09] Okay.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:10] The big shark.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:11] But what about the baby shark?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:13] The baby shark is only featured really for.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the big shark is a she, even though the British guy keeps calling it a he.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:20] A lot of people in the movie the shark a he which I thought was fascinating.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:24] Well, June I got some information for you. The female-male switch. The female dolphin in the movie is actually.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:32] Sandy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:33] Sandy is actually a male dolphin named Capricorn. And he lives in Discovery Cove right now, which is owned by SeaWorld Orlando.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:41] Wasn’t something going on a few years back where a lot of dolphins were raping people.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:46] I think that’s I think that’s. I don’t know that that was just limited to a few years back.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:52] That’s still going on?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:53] I think so. I think, you know, left unchecked, these dolphins are just out of control and. No, no, no. I mean, I think there have been instances where dolphins get very physical with people when you’re swimming with, when you’re in and amongst swimming the dolphins, Yeah, they can be very physical and they can like knock you down. And I’m like, I just think that’s.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:13] That’s the price you pay.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:14] Physicality.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:14] Yes, but it is sexual, I believe for them. It is. It is born of a sexual desire. I think the, I’m speaking I could be repeating a bunch of stories.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:24] No, no, no. This is absolute fact.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:27] Here’s the thing. We are marine. Are we marine biologists? Is this a marine biology podcast?

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:32] Yes. I do have some interesting news. Part of the whole thing. We’ve been talking about bears. We’re talking about sharks. The country Bears is closing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:40] I know. I saw.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:42] It’s a big deal.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:43] Did we do that?

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:43] I think we did.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:44] Did we call attention to something that they were like, wait a minute, that’s still open?

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:48] Yeah. And people are upset. I wanted to go back to June, what you were talking about with employee culture here. And this is the first scene that we see of it seems like a three things are going on at once. There is interviews going on at SeaWorld, there’s corporate training going on. There’s a guy making a flower arrangement, and then there’s another guy just explaining the geography of SeaWorld all within a foot of each other.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:11] Is this the first ever SeaWorld that’s ever open?

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:14] I think it’s the new SeaWorld underwater pavilion. That’s what I think there is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:19] And, yeah, I think that that underwater thing is the big selling point.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:23] Is, are those did those underwater attractions exist at SeaWorld?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:27] No. Oh, do they?

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:28] I do. You can. Yes, definitely. We’ve been in a couple of those things.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:35:33] Not at SeaWorld.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:33] Las Vegas, where you can go underneath, where you can be in a tunnel and looking up at like what the fish are around. Yeah, Yeah. That exists. That’s a thing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:42] So it’s not like this. Not like where there’s, like, no tunnels.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:46] No, not that I know this is. But again, I’ve not been to SeaWorld, so I don’t want to go. But this is what we learn about the employees a little bit.

 

Movie Audio [00:35:55] Dress code here. So keep your hair and nails trim and please don’t alter your costumes once you’ve been fitted with your SeaWorld guide apparel. The shorts are short enough. This is not show any cheek, you’ll be back shovelling French fries. Now let’s continue with our welcome speech again, all together now. Welcome to Seaworld. The World’s largest marine life park.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:24] Terrible.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:25] First of all, again, why is SeaWorld allowing this to be on film? But then why are they all practicing a welcome? Are they all doing a unison welcome to Sea and they’re all have hand gestures.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:38] At SeaWorld do they shovel fries? Is that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:45] It is the plum job of, I don’t know what the plum job at SeaWorld is like. What are they doing? Because they’re in like short shorts and like a stripy top. They’re not.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:53] I’m assuming they’re like guides or, you know. Yeah. So, you know, maybe they lead tour groups. I don’t know. It’s it was pretty this was like this, You’re right to describe it as thin. There was like it was neither nor neither was there enough suspense built to keep to keep it to keep ratcheting up the tension. Nor was there any kind of character explanation or exploration, rather, that was fun to dig into while we were not being shown the shark.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:23] Think there’d be a tension throughout the movie about whether or not Dennis Quaid is going to go to Venezuela and leave his.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:30] Lady love.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:37:31] Biologist doctor. But that doesn’t really. There are no stakes there. Like we know that she’s they’re going to end up together. She’s going to go. There’s just nothing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:42] To me, I also want to just ask the big, big question, which is we know that this is the son of Roy Scheider’s character from Jaws and Jaws two. There’s never a moment where, like I know they they say that his brother doesn’t want to go in the water. But there’s never a moment where, like, Mike Brody’s like, this is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:00] This is happening again, to me?

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:02] Like, I have been in this situation. Like what?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:04] What person? Never mind two people, him and his brother have now experienced three separate great white shark attacks in in different areas.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:14] And the shark is seemingly a like being called to him because there are two moments where the guys there’s a great white shark here and he looks out and then as he’s talking, we get to the sharks POV. The shark, just comes right into the restaurant like hey, what’s up? Hi. I’m in the.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:30] In Jaws four that we did. The shark follows them to the Caribbean. Yes. Just to get revenge.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:36] Well, this shark, I mean, this wasn’t even I mean, maybe it was one for revenge, because then later on, the shark has no problem breaking through the glass in the command center. Like that was the best, dumbest effect of this whole movie. Like shark and then the shark crashes. But this, though, I remember it as a kid, that was the scariest moment ever because the glass flying. And the shark coming in. But when you watch it in 2D, it is the cheapest looking.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:03] It’s like it’s so slow. The movie is, all the action, partially because it’s underwater, is so slow moving. It’s so like none of like the tension from the first jaws of like, oh, being above and not knowing what’s below and then getting those little peaks. This is so much of this is below water. It’s just kind of murky and dark and slow and it’s like plodding.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:29] And the shark doesn’t look.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:30] At night too, all the real action with the shark is happening in the dark.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:35] What is this Game of Thrones season seven? D miguel Sapochnik directed this movie SLAM. I’m just kidding. I had no problem with the darkness in that episode.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:46] The DP came out and apologize for that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:48] Yeah. Which he shouldn’t have done because it looked I thought it looked great. I think it was compression.

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:53] The what I was actually thinking about though too, was the shark. Like, I know we’ve said it now a couple times, looks lethargic in the sense that even when he eats that British guy who I have no connection to and is he a villain? I don’t even know if he’s. He is Philip Fitzroy. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:09] What was his point like? He’s not.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:12] He’s not a bad guy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:13] You know. He’s not Robert Shaw, he’s not Richard Dreyfuss and he’s certainly not Roy Scheider.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:19] Couldn’t even tell in the context of the movie what his job was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:22] Well, I thought yes, I thought he was supposed to be sorry.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:26] No, I didn’t know if he was coming to film for a specific publication or magazine or just document this SeaWorld experience for their own interests.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:37] I think he was supposed to be some sort of like Jacques Cousteau slash Crocodile Dundee type of person.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:43] This is how we’re introduced him. Here we go. This is how we get to hear him.

 

Movie Audio [00:40:49] Ladis and Gentlement, Mr. Phillips Fitzroy with a capital R is here to film us, meet our resident de scientific staff.

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:00] That is it. He’s here to film us and meet our scientific staff, which he Louis Gossit Jr. does not seem like he knows anything going on at Seaworld. He’s like. Sure, he like we’re introduced to him watching the the jet ski or the the the water ski. Like he doesn’t seem he just seems he does not seem like he’s seen like someone was assigned.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:28] To tell them. That’s what I didn’t understand about his character is he like does he stand to make a lot of money if SeaWorld does well?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:35] He just he seems to be here to be like an administrator. I don’t think he owns SeaWorld.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:40] Well, if he owns SeaWorld, that’s one thing. And maybe he does.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:44] I don’t think so. I think he’s just like the like the chief operations officer. I think he’s just like running the park day to day.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:54] Which is crazier, though, because if he’s just running the park day to day and isn’t like fully like he has no real skin in the game other than his own salary, he. He seems to be looking the other way where he should not be.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:10] Oh, no. He’s definitely allowing for things to happen that escalate the danger. The circumstances. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:17] According to Wikipedia, Calvin Bouchard is the park manager. That’s all he is. He’s just a park manager. And yeah, that’s. That’s all they know what it seemed. And just so you guys know. Well, okay. I mean, K Morgan is the senior marine biologist, but they’re not giving me a title for what Michael Brody is. Michael Brody is titless, which makes me go that he’s not even really the head of maintenance. I think he’s just a guy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:47] But he’s big enough that, like, he’s the Venezuelans want him, you know, he’s like he’s he’s done good enough work that they need him in Venezuela. Right. My question about Crocodile Dundee, Bill Irwin type guy is I thought they were trying to establish him, which would have made sense to me as a romantic rival. Yeah, for the Dr. Morgan.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:09] That was Beth Armstrong played Katherine Morgan. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:11] I thought they were trying to establish, Oh, she’s with Dennis Quaid, but here’s this hunky, you know, guy, and that is going to be some sort of thing. And it’s not at all. He’s just a prick. And okay, everybody doesn’t like him. But then we kind of do like him later in the movie when he’s like, maybe he is helpful, maybe he will. Maybe his bravery is going to be something that will help us and instead chomp chomp chomp. See you later, guy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:35] But by the way, not even chomp chomp chomp. It seems as if he just slips into that shark’s mouth. That shark does not attack him. He slipped in.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:45] You think he committed suicide? You think how many people in this movie do you think wanted to get eaten by that shark?

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:50] I feel like all these people were dissatisfied with with their life and their job, like how cool would be to die at a theme park. But like, I want to watch that scene at the end.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:57] That’d be an amazing single day at SeaWorld if they were like, Listen, this is what we’re doing. If you want to commit suicide, come to the park, jump on in the tank. Yeah, this is what we did. We’re going to feed we’re going to feed these animals. Right? It’s good for them. We’re going to give you what you want. And you know what? It’s a theme day. You know what? We want to all we want at the end of the day is a parking lot full of abandoned cars.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:27] It is so crazy, though, to see his whole body. That was the one part where I felt like, okay, they did an okay job with the effects there because I did feel like I was inside the shark.

 

Paul Scheer [00:44:37] That was actually the best.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:39] It was a thrill.

 

Paul Scheer [00:44:40] That I will agree with you. That was the most clever shot of the entire movie. Just watching his goggles, Bob up and down as they kind of come out of his mouth. Now, thankfully, and this is the craziest thing about the movie, the way the movie ends, the way the whole day is saved, is like he put two grenades on himself. Yes. So at the end, it’s the crazies really kill the fucking shark is like one of the grenades is just kind of still hanging around in the mouth of the shark. And then Dennis Quaid and and Kathryn Morgan have to, like, use a long stick to, like, get the stick through the hole of the pin of the grenade and then rip the pin out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:15] And then they spent so much time earlier in the movie explaining how grenades work. Remember when he first goes out, he wants to bring the grenades and they’re like, no, you can’t bring grenade. You can’t bring homemade bombs out into SeaWorld waters, blah, blah, blah. And then they have the whole explanation. Well, it’s totally safe unless you pull the pin out. And they really explain beat for beat how it works, which is essentially which is so weird because it’s like that’s they’re basically recreating the end of Jaws, which is in Jaws. He has the scuba tank in his mouth and Roy Scheider has to shoot the tank to blow up the tank to blow up the shark.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:48] But this is like this is like a carnival game that you would never be able to win because you’re trying to pull you’re trying to pull a pin of a grenade out that’s sitting in a shark’s mouth with a long stick that has no real leverage to, like, pull it out. But they get they do it and he blows up. It’s so anticlimactic. And then they rise to the surface of the water and they kind of make an arc with their hands. And the dolphins just are like also like the dolphins are the heroes, too. The dolphins are the unsung characters.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:46:16] Will sharks eat dolphins?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:19] I’m assuming. I think I think great whites are an apex predator and they will eat anything. I mean.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:24] These sharks I mean, these dolphins seem to have be the only people that were really concerned about anything like the.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:30] Here’s the thing. The dolphins are the smartest people in the movie and the smartest entities in the smartest mammals.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:37] Why? if you’re making Jaws three, don’t you go my dad killed two of these. I’m going to call my dad. I’m going to do something. I know how to kill it. No, they’re just very, like, lackadaisical. Even when the guy who plays Fitz Royce’s buddy, who I love the other.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:53] Oh, yeah, The other cameraman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:55] The other cameraman. I love that guy When he finds out he didn’t come back, he’s like, What? He didn’t come back? And then he runs up the dock and down another hole. What’s that hole? What? What are you doing over there?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:06] They made they did a terrible job for a movie that never leaves the park. They did a terrible job establishing the geography of the park. So like when when they go in and they say when they see the dead body and she’s like, oh, okay. First of all, Dr. Kathryn Morgan puts her hands wide, right. As if she goes, whoa! And she looks scared and she puts her hands wide in the measurement. What we understand later to be the measurement of the bite of the shark that killed him. But what it looks like is she’s looking at a naked man’s body and going, oh, and making it seem as though his dick is enormous, which I thought was very funny. But then she’s like they go and they find LGJ and they’re like, there’s a bigger shark. There’s a much bigger shark and it’s still in our waters. Then for, I don’t know, ten or so minutes, Dennis Quaid runs through the park.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:05] Hilarious

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:05] Drives a golf cart, drives a bike, rides is jumps on multiple modes of transportation, trying to just get people out of the water, trying to get.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:15] What’s in the water. He’s like, he’s acting as if these kids who are on dry land, are going to be killed by this shark.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:20] He’s and he’s he’s just he’s running right through the the the Orca show. He’s running he’s running through every venue at SeaWorld, whether that venue is Seaside or not. The Shark is only in the lagoon. Go to the lagoon.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:39] It’s like that end of like Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, where he’s running through every movie set. Like it really does go like, we got all SeaWorld let’s keep us going. And Dennis Quaid is a guy who doesn’t mind jumping into water with his shoes on. That guy jumps into water three times with his shoes on with everything.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:53] Everything.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:54] But I’m like, just take off your shoes. Like you understand how swimming works. Yeah, that’s going to wear you down like, oh, is it shoe jumping? And also.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:00] Find it hard to believe that SeaWorld didn’t have some sort of, you know, all park audio system where they could just call out like everybody out of the water.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:11] Was a new park, June. They hadn’t figured that part out. They hadn’t got the intercom system.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:16] Do you think this was like a soft opening for that?

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:19] It seemed like wasn’t it a soft opening because they said it was like a family and friend day. That’s why his brother came. Oh, really? I thought it was a family and friend day.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:26] Well, that’s interesting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:26] You know, like, come and, you know, we’re we’re just letting everybody.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:30] It’s not possible? No, it’s not possible that this movie came out when SeaWorld was just being established, right? No. SeaWorld’s been around forever, I think.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:37] Yeah. Okay. I’ll see.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:40] SeaWorld’s always existed.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:41] SeaWorld.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:42] There has never been a time it didn’t exist.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:43] They talk about SeaWorld in the Bible. Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:45] In 1964. Yeah. Okay. It was when it opened and SeaWorld Orlando opened in 1973 and this was shot in 83. So this is ten years into SeaWorld tenure in Orlando because this was shot in Orlando, I believe. One of my favorite moments, just one when we talked about when they find the dead body of the guy who’s been missing for a couple of days, that everyone forgets about no big deal. When he floats, he just casually kind of floats up into that underwater thing. Everyone’s so scared that somebody just pushes the girl’s face into the walls. She is literally.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:19] It’s like she’s making out with the guy’s corpse on the other side of the glass.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:23] It was a real mother son moment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:24] Oh, Paul, we have to talk after the podcast about some stuff. Yeah, no, I feel like Dennis Quaid and what’s her name? Beths armstrong? I think had the kind of chemistry that, like a young boy has with his mother.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:42] Jane, What did you think of the chemistry?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:43] Didn’t you try to make out with your grandma?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:45] No. What?

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:46] No, no, no.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:50:47] It was just that you’d pretended you were drunk in front of her.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:50] My great grandma. Yeah, I used to.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:52] But you were like, No, no. I tried to make out with my great grandma.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:57] I used to pour root beer in a glass and be like, Oh, it’s a tough day at school. Oh, And she thought I was drinking. And she, like, told my mom.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:04] What is happening? This is too much. What is going on? We just I mean, for the next how it is, if there is a next, somebody needs to just make a supercut of all of your all of your very strange childhood stories.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:51:19] Well, this is all like latchkey kids spending much time in front of the TV.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:24] But maybe I’m more concerned about the kid that pours himself a root beer and acts as though he’s, like, sidling up at the bar after a tough day at the steel mill.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:34] It was just fun for me to do. I had no brothers and sisters. I lived in a dead end block. I had to make up. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:41] No, you had to have a couple of rootbeers and then try and get it on with your mom. You’re like, You don’t understand. Math class was hard.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:53] But. Oh, I don’t know. I can’t even. I can’t defend any of it. It just. We really talked about a lot of this film and that. Yeah, let me tell you a couple. Well, let’s see this. Obviously we have an opinion about this film, but there’s other people out there with a different opinion. It’s now time for second opinions.

 

Music [00:52:33] [Second Opinions Song]

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:36] Second opinions. That was a song by John Lajoie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:41] John? John Lajoie? You know, he’s a friend of ours.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:45] I know. But I think I was like, you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:47] Have you started mispronouncing our own friend’s names?

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:53] I was really trying to put a real flourish in the last name, and it came out in the first.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:57] Yeah. And then it bled over John Lajoie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:00] So these are.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:01] John LaJoy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:03] These are second opinions culled from Amazon. The average review of this film is 3.6 out of five stars. There are 37% are five star reviews. 37.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:12] 37?

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:13] Yes. And this is a this is a movie that is fondly remembered by 3D genre enthusiasts, because it kind of brought back the 3D movie. This one here is written by psychedelic rock and the title is excellent prequel to the Steven Stealberg classic.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:35] Whoa, What?

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:36] So this person is a little confused and a couple of things. I also like Steven Stealberg, so he writes, “I like the actors, the plot and the theme of the SeaWorld Aquatic Park that is offered in this music.” Don’t know how that goes. “Plus, I love the vintage Mercury v six outboard motors that were used in the movie.”

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:00] Woah, What?

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:00] “Meanwhile I wish Dennis Quaid and Bess Armstrong would reprise their roles for Revenge, a sequel that features Lorraine Gray’s comeback.” Done. That’s so that’s all he likes. And he also.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:10] That is really strange.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:11]  And the theme of the theme World Aquatic Park, that’s offered in this music?.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:16] In this music, I mean, like that’s almost feels like a bot wrote that review.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:20] Yeah, yeah. There was signed MAGA.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:24] Oh god.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:24] No it was not. All right this is written by Gerald Hammer Jr and it’s a five star review. It goes like this. “I never really connected the dots on this one until I realized that in a way that puts the Brody family against the killer shark. Now, it makes a great addition to my movie collection. Five stars.” So you never connected the dots at Jaws 3D was about the Brody Boys. Okay, great. I’m glad that one came out of the blue for you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:52] I wish this had been called Jaws 3: Call in the Brody Boys.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:57] This one’s written by David. Just writes, “Best Jaws ever, five stars”, And. And finally, we’ll end on this one. This is from where to next at 90 says this. “I’m not concerned about the acting. To me, it reminds me of how everyone interacted with each other. Okay, The story was thrown together, but what no one seems to remember is that there were two other 3D movies released around the same time which competed against it, now saying that it would be nice to see these films put back in the 3D as well is an understatement. The big thing today is studios no longer rerelease films as they used to. Unless you’re one of the main selected cities. The studios are so focused on recent films, it’d be nice to watch some of the 80s films we grew up on. The whole premise, to go and hang out with your friends. Things sure have changed. Five stars.”.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:45] Wow. Jesus.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:47] Couple a couple of things here that I want to bring up. First of all, why wasn’t Roy Scheider in this film? Well, according to his biography, he he agreed to make Blue Thunder in order to ensure that he was definitely and contractually unavailable to appear in this film. He made Jaws two, reluctantly due to a contract issue with Universal Pictures, whereby he owed the studio two films after withdrawing from The Deer Hunter. Which is crazy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:17] Really? Whose part, I wonder? Walken?

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:20] Just watched that this week as a matter of fact. I wonder if he would actually be.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:56:24] For a different podcast?

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:25] Well, I don’t like to talk about that guys. Anyway, so to get out of that situation, he opted to do Jaws two and he said he said it when people ask him, Oh, did anyone ever ask you if you wanted to be in this? He’s like, They knew better. Funny. Yeah. So he was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:40] By the way, he made the right choice. I loved Blue Thunder. I was obsessed with Blue Thunder as a kid. I was obsessed with all those helicopter things. Blue Thunder, Airwolf.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:50] So good.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:51] All of it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:52] So then this was. This is how the movie came to be. So basically.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:56] That was an entire subgenre, I believe that was driven by men who had come home from Vietnam, who were helicopter pilots, and then that invaded all of TV at the time. You’ve got Magnum, P.I., you’ve got Riptide, you’ve got Airwolf, you’ve got a Blue Thunder. Like these are all TV and movies, vehicles. That’s that star, primarily a helicopter.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:23] That’s really interesting. I never thought about that. Even then, there’s that one little moment in Die Hard where they’re in the helicopter going around is like, this is just, like, Nam.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:29] Yeah, You know, I think it is I think it is simply a case that there was just a ton. Of people who had just come from Vietnam and had that as that was just a part of like our shared experience at the moment. Anyway.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:42] Well, okay, so this is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:45] I might be totally wrong.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:46] No, I think that’s a good theory. So here we go. The movie Jaws 3 was originally conceived as a National Lampoon movie. It was going be called Jaws 3 People zero. And it was going to be all right. And and so it was going to start with Peter Benchley being eaten in his pool by a shark. And it was going to just be really wild and crazy. Joe Dante was going to direct it. He directed Gremlins. And Steven Spielberg rejected the idea and he said, I will leave Universal Studios. I’ll leave my overall if you take the name of Jaws and you make a comedy of Jaws. So he threatened to do it. So they take this other script. Gordon True Blood’s original story, which is not a Jaws sequel, but it was turned into one very quickly. And then they basically took the premise, which was a great white shark swimming upstream and being trapped in a lake and just put it into SeaWorld. And that was it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:39] Oh, wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:40] So it was a real weird thing. Now, you would imagine that this movie when it comes out is a big bomb, right? Well, it grossed $87.9 million.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:51] Do you think that’s just because it was 3-D at the time that like not much 3D?

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:54] It was one of the biggest 3D openings of all time. It came in number 15 of all the movies made in 83. The top three were Return of the Jedi, Terms of Endearment and Flashdance. It was beaten by Staying alive, number eight and Super Man three, which number 12. And it beat Hercules, which was 66, which is it’s kind of crazy.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:12] So crazy that all those movies came out the same year. Yeah, like, that’s a very.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:17] Good movie year.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:18] That’s a that’s a wide swath of though, like, like the idea that Hercules and how bad that looked. Wait Hercules or Hercules in New York?

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:26] Hercules,  the one that we saw.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:27] When we just recently did. That, hercules, Return of the Jedi. This are all the same year. That’s shocking.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:33] I know. And now here’s one thing for the people who listen to the podcast they might like. This movie and Halloween three.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:39] So this is for only people that listen to the podcast?

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:42] Yeah, people who go in the back catalog.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:43] So for people. So for the rest of the show has been for people that don’t listen to the podcast, but this is a little something extra for those of you that listen to the podcast.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:54] So we talked about Halloween season of The Witch a while ago and Halloween three, Season of the Witch and Jaws three has some similarities. Both are third films in a series that so.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:05] Are people going to want to hear this, Paul? I know I’m not a person who listens to this podcast, but I don’t like where this is going.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:12] They both launched the careers of.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:20] So just to be clear, June and I as as people that don’t listen to this podcast, should be ignoring this?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:26] Oh, man.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:27] I just don’t know what to do right now.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:29] You guys. All right, well, forget it. You know what? You can do your own research, you fucking idiots.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:35] All right, We’re just here to talk about nineties fashion. That’s all we want.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:40] Speaking of fashion, Jason. I’m noticing that your fanny pack is here.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:43] Yeah, my fanny pack is here.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:44] I’ve never seen it in the wild. I only heard about it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:47] Sure.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:48] Good looking fanny pack. Who makes it?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:51] It’s a it’s a brand called Through Pack.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:53] Now, can I ask?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:54] Yes, please.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:55] What’s in there?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:57] What’s in here is.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:59] What is in your fanny pack. Open it up.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:01] Like the various things that I might carry around. Asthma inhaler, EpiPen.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:06] Of course.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:07] Pen. lighter.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:11] And you kind of wear it. Look like a Chewbacca bandolier. Like you wear.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:14] You know what I do. I wear it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:16] When you’re hiking.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:17] Yeah, I wear it like a fanny pack. Yeah, I do wear it more often like a fanny pack just to, like, bop around. But like, when I don’t want to carry a backpack, when I don’t want to have, like, my computer and all the rest. I just throw everything in this and walk around with it and it’s pretty chill, you know? I’m still, like, figuring it out, but, you know.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:32] How much are you using the asthma inhaler?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:33] Well, when I’m on a hike, I use my inahler. Yeah. So and this is I will say I primarily use this when I’m going on a hike or when I’m like.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:40] Yeah, and it’s bright red.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:42] It is bright red.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:42] I wasn’t expecting this.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:43] Yeah right?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:44] I have a white one too. I have a white one.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:48] I’ve seen the white one in the wild and it was so subtle. It’s it hides really nicely. But I saw you go in there, blow up and then they got so it was like wow that was good at really enjoyed that people if you want to see.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:59] June, you’re like, June is like really trying to crack the code of the fanny pack.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:02] Would you let me get one?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:03] Can I ask one other question? Absolutely not. Can I ask one other question? What is is there another pocket on the side? That mesh pocket. Does anything go in there?

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:13] That’s to keep your body.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:14] An extender?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:14] Yeah. I think this is just so you can kind of get in and out of it without it being, like, really too tight. It gives it a little bit. Gives you more access to the bag, I think.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:23] Yeah. And no. Can I, can I just give you my thoughts?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:27] Please bring it home.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:28] Here we go.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:28] I was expecting it to. I’m surprised at how close to a purse it appears.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:35] Well, it’s just a square. It looks like a clutch. It looks like a clutch.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:39] I don’t mind a purse.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:40] I wish I would have. Listen, I would happily carry a purse.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:42] I think you do.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:44] For the most part. This is the closest I will come to a purse. Or like I sometimes carry a tote bag, which I like as well.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:50] I don’t like it tote bag because I can’t get that on my arm.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:53] Wow.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:54] Oh, we’re really. Oh, boy. This tour, I’m telling you, up on this tour, you’re going to see a lot of my gear getting used to. It’s like, Wait, I’m.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:03] Speaking of our tour. Yeah, we’ll go. Well, go ahead.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:06] I’m not done, Paul. Not nearly done. So you have right now the fanny pack. And then two very large containers of liquid.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:14] Yeah. Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:15] So you’re carrying the fanny pack around a worn sort of crossbody?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:20] Yeah. And then I’m just carrying the two things. Normally, I wouldn’t do this. Normally I wouldn’t have this much stuff or I would have a backpack.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:28] You also pour coffee in a flask. A hydro flask. Because I just got.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:33] This is water.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:33] Right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:34] This is water and this is coffee.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:35] But you said that you sometimes that you put your coffee in a hydroflask.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:37] Yes, I do. I do. Sometimes I carry and there is in my car right now another one of these hydro flasks. That is the rest of my coffee and got it. So I will transfer the coffee to the mug.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:51] Now, when we go on the tour, what bags do you think you’re bringing?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:55] Such a good question. You know, I’m going to have some sort of roller suitcase.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:03:59] You’re going to have a suitcase.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:59] Yeah. And then I’m going to have, you know, a backpack, probably a Tom Bean snaps 25.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:04] By the way. I am a big Tom Bean fan. I can’t get enough of Tom Bean.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:07] I mean, I’m obsessed. I turned Paul on to Tom Bean bag packs. I am completely obsessed. He has now bought one and.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:15] I’m really upset you didn’t tell me about it first so I could buy one for him. One of the biggest fights we ever got into was over a backpack I bought him.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:22] Oh, funny.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:22] What was that?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:24] Paul.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:24] Oh, boy.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:24] I don’t remember this.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:04:26] Paul.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:26] Really? Was this. Oh, no. This is why I got upset with it, because June said this. June goes.

 

[01:04:34] It’s been discussed in couples therapy.

 

[01:04:35] She said. And she goes, I have the perfect gift for my for all of my agents. I’m going to get them all this backpack, this Herschel backpack now. And I was like, Oh, great idea. And then when I get my gift.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:47] You said great idea. Great.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:48] And then when I get my gift, it’s the same Herschel bag because she bought all of her agents.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:52] And I now understand why this was a fight and it’s not bad. It’s only in context.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:58] He’s trying to be.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:59] Only in context, if you had just giving him a backpack that he liked, totally fine. It’s that it was in equal. It was of equal weight as an agent, you gave your husband an agent gift.

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:08] Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:08] Okay. Now, can I?

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:09] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:10] May I speak?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:10] I know he liked it. I know he liked it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:12] And no, the other the other piece of this was I had actually ordered something for Paul from that I saw on Shark Tank that we were both obsessed with. Which was it almost like a moleskin notebook. And when you opened it. Love that it was a light.

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:23] Yeah. The luminaire or the Luminaire.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:26] And it was so beautiful. And the light that illuminates from it is this really gorgeous, gorgeous golden light.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:34] Are you guys going to try and sell me one?

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:36] Jason, they’re so good. Get on it.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:38] They are so beautiful. Okay, this looks stunning and you can have it bedside if you’re reading.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:42] Sounds like the perfect birthday gift, BUT.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:44] Yes, but it wasn’t arriving in time. So I was frantically wanting him to open up something.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:49] Understandable.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:50] Listen, Paul’s an amazing gift giver. I am not. And I’ve said that a number of times.

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:54] Well, by the way, tell Jason right now. Right now, literally, right now on the side on June’s bedside table. Tell Jason what’s there.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:04] Your Father’s Day gift.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:05] Two wrapped Father’s Day gifts. Now, what day is it right now? It is June 28th. There are two wrapped father’s day gifts still sitting there. They have yet to be given to me.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:15] I think you had a wonderful Father’s Day. And I think I created a beautiful day for you. What happened? Oh.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:22] Honestly, I hope we make it on tour. I hope we get to this tour.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:26] What happened was I when I bought those gifts, I hid them in the house. And then on Father’s Day, I couldn’t find them.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:33] Oh, this is great.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:35] I simply forgot where they were. Now, we had many other wonderful experiences that day.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:38] I’m not saying anything bad about my father’s day. I’m not talking about my Father’s Day.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:43] I did find them a few days later.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:45] And then you’ve put them on the side of your bed.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:47] There hasn’t been the right moment to give them to you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:52] These peeks into your lives are so interesting. This is wild. If there is a time that you need a gift for Paul, I would be more than happy to recommend things to you. So just shoot me an email.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:07:11] Just so you know, Paul is a very self-sufficient man. He wants something. He’s going to get it. I’m not. He’s not someone who denies himself. Right? So it’s hard to shop for him because he’s already gotten all the things he wants and needs. So it has to be something that’s a little surprising.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:29] Outside the box, something he’s not exactly get. Because I guess if you.

 

Paul Scheer [01:07:32] Guys come on the tour, want to bring me any gifts, I’m open to that. Like now you, Jason and June, you might just. If anyone in the tour wants to bring me gifts and address it to John.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:46] Not saying that, you should definitely not say that. But I mean like if people want to give us all gifts, don’t please don’t.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:07:53] Please make a donation in our name.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:07:55] Yes, make a donation. SeaWorld kept alive by donations in our name.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:03] This was a charity episode. All of our advertising is for SeaWorld in this episode.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:07] But to very quickly, just once more, say, Tom Ben, you guys are doing great work, but I’m also going to shoot. I also turn Paul on to the ever good CBL 24, which he’s carrying today, ever goods CPL 24.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:08:20] There’s no bag that needs that many different.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:23] I need to show you these. Let me just tell you one thing, because Jason obviously gave me a great lesson in bag bagotry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:31] And I don’t think we should say that. I don’t think we should use that as a word.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:34] So Jason got me into this Tom bean bag that I can’t. I love it so much that I was like, Oh, I know. I got this ever good’s bad. And I’m nervous to even transfer my stuff because I’m so in love with tom bean bag. Then I go into my evergood bag, like, Oh, great. And this they are and they’re both great. And then I have another bag, I have three bags. Now Jason has got me three bags. I have a travel day travel bag.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:08:54] Well, question for you. One of my main complaints about you is that.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:00] Main complaint?.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:01] One of one of the main complaints. Holy shit.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:07] Room in our home, the sitting room.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:09] The sitting?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:10] The sitting room. And it’s when you first enter the house, the first room, you see. I like to keep it clean. I like because it’s really not a room to be in.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:17] Oh, my gosh. Yes. It’s one of those fake rooms in the house that you just never show.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:22] And I. You leave that bag right on the couch every time I come home. Is it because you’re so proud of it? You just want to display it?

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:31] Yeah. I want people to see it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:35] What if he put a hook? Like, would there be a hook he could hang it on?

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:39] Not on that wall, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:09:41] Mudroom or something there.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:42] The mud area.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:44] There are but that mud room is very far away from the door. I’m always say to June like that. It’s like it’s like I have to go across the house to the mud room, and I want to I want to walk in and embrace my wife and in a hug and a kiss and and then really say it’s intention to my little children there.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:58] I just hate when you kiss me like you kiss your mother.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:01] You mean open mouth with tongue? You guys kissed like Dennis Quaid.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:13] Anyway, if you want to come to the Open Mouth Kissing tour.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:17] We are going to do a kissing booth at the tour.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:19] Yes, Yes. But only I will tell you this. We are doing some fun stuff for this tour. If you have not got your tickets, please come out and see us. We are starting the tour here in July in L.A. We’re going to Charleston, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, D.C., Boston, New York.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:10:34] Philly, Philly.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:36] It’s going to be a lot of fun. And then we’re ending up in Montreal. And then we got to go back out on the road in September again to Chicago, Berkeley, Portland, Seattle and Toronto. But I will tell you this, two fun things that we’re doing on the road every show gets a special shirt. We just did one for Austin. You guys just heard the Serenity episode, so you now understand the Jason John and June shirt. But we made that specialty right there. We also have some amazing Mitch Jared’s who is an amazing comic book artist. He, you know, did.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:06] Eisner Award winning team behind Mister Miracle and sheriff of Baghdad.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:12] He designed a special HDTGM poster we also have.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:17] Or Babylon. It was retitled Sheriff of Babylon.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:18] And we also have some amazing new pins out there. Geostorm pins. We got scribble pins and we got where does the butt start.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:27] Scribble pins?

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:27] Oh, yeah, Scribble pins are going to be great. So I’ve been getting that already. We are going on the road, so make sure you get your tickets by the time you listen to this. All the movies that we’re doing on our first leg of the tour will be up on HDTGMInfo.com. Make sure you come dressed in character if you’d like. I would prefer that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:11:46] Or come dressed people also come dressed wearing their favorite How Did This Get Made shirts. Oh yeah. Whether it’s a dragonsound shirt. What’s up, jerks shirt.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:53] Yeah, you can wear the you can wear the shirt to the concert or whatever that is. Write a song, be prepared with the questions. We cannot wait to see you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:02] Well, maybe I’ll regret saying this, but if you are a cool local band in any of these cities, why not write a second opinion song for us and come up and sing it?

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:10] That would be amazing.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:11] Sounds like a lot of people on stage.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:12] Yeah. I mean, I’m just saying.

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:14] Acappella. Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:15] Two person band.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:16] Yeah. If you’re a folk duo. Yep. So I’m looking at you, simon and Garfunkel.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:22] Also that was a joke about donating to Sea World. Obviously. Please, no one donate to SeaWorld.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:26] Please do not.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:27] Don’t support it at all.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:12:29] Now Capricorn is still out there, living it up, taking people on tour. So if you want to experience what Dennis Quaid and Bess Armstrong experience in the movie, you can go to SeaWorld and ride with Capricorn.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:41] Are you are you supporting SeaWorld?

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:43] I don’t want to get into it. I mean, have gotten a little bit of money under the table. No, no, no. We do not support SeaWorld. We’re not bringing any children to SeaWorld. We’re not doing anything to SeaWorld.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:51] We are doing VIP situations in these tour dates.

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:56] Yes, they’re already sold out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:57] Here’s what I’m going to say, though, during the VIP. Don’t think that’s some sort of license to like, touch on us a bunch. Is this the same rules apply. Keep your hands to yourself, you weirdos.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:08] And by the way, for our September leg of the tour, you can also be with purchasing your ticket purchase June’s new book at a very.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:17] It’s the only book I’ve ever been a part of.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:19] Okay, Well.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:19] Didn’t you write 50 Shades of Gray?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:21] No, no, no. That was a different. Yeah, that was a woman who I think. Yes. Started off in Twilight fan fiction and then.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:28] No, but that was not you.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:30] That was definitely not me.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:31] Because I know you write a lot of Twilight fan fiction.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:32] Yes, but that’s separate.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:34] Got it. Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:34] So people can get June’s book as part of their ticket package there as well. This is fun. Anyone want to plug anything, anyone on my plug, anything at all. John Wick three still in theaters.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:44] John Wick three still in theaters. I think it’s I think it’s now I can say I will be in an episode of this new season of Legion that just started on Netflix. That is a very fun show.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:55] Loving this season Excited to get back.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:57] A wild ride.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:58] Wow, I can’t wait. And I yes. So the book that I coauthored with Kate Black is out September 3rd. It’s called Represent the Women’s Guide to Running for Office and Changing the World. And you can ask your independent bookstore, bookstore or local bookseller to have it in stock and purchase it there. Also, I’ve just started watching The Sopranos. It’s wonderful.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:22] So good. So good. I am rewatching Deadwood right now.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:25] So great.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:26] It is phenomenal.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:27] I would love to watch that show with you, June. It’s such a good show. And I just want to plug really briefly. I know we talk about a lot on the show but we literally had Spike Lee on Unspooled this week and.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:38] Talking about do the right thing.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:39] Yes. And it was awesome. Really great to have Spike in the room. You know, it’s just as great as having Andy Potts for the Toy Story episode.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:47] And did you ask either of them to be on this show?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:51] Did you mentioned this show?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:52] You know, I think that actually that was an interesting idea. I might have I might have..

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:58] What did they say?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:58] I think they were like, yeah, yeah, let me get back. Get back to really.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:04] Get back to them?

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:07] They were having such a good time on unspooled that we we didn’t get into the whole deal. But you know speaking of Deer Hunter, we are also doing a Deer Hunter episode this week.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:17] Wow. This is Rich. This show is now just advertisement for Unspooled. And I do not appreciate it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:24] We appreciate all the listeners coming over from HDTGM. I mean, they’re coming over in droves, which is really nice.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:30] Oh, here’s the other thing I will say, and I am I’m certain I will regret saying this as well, but if you are in a town that we might not know well, Charleston, Durham, I mean, maybe tweet at us like, what are the restaurants we should be going to?

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:44] I’ve actually been keeping a good list of that because people have been tweeting out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:47] Okay, that’s what I want to know. If there’s something unique or wonderful in your town that is worth us going and having a meal there or something like that.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:15:54] If you see us there, don’t tell us.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:57] If you see us there. If you see me where food is being served, don’t touch me.

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:01] Yeah, yeah. Use the hashtag #HDTGMeats to let us know where we should eat in your town.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:07] And how about HDTGM drinks? Where like if there’s a cool bar in your town that we should be going to or something.

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:14] Maybe we should use a HDTGM tour so we can put.

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:16] That’s going to be so much bigger. We have individual hashtags for each thing. HDTGMeats. HDTGMdrinks. HDTGM. What is it?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:16:25] Bands.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:26] Bands, HDTGMboobs. How about the strip club in your town?

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:30] No, no, no.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:31] This one June just wrote a note and said that I should say this. HDTGMcar washess HDTGM sexy car washes. If these like if there’s like a softball team having a sexy car wash. I want to know about.

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:43] We want to be there. We’re in every town for about a day. We’re going to make the most of it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:48] Yeah, we’re planning on not sleeping at all and just crushing everything we can.

 

Paul Scheer [01:16:52] And powering through multiple movies. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening. I want to give a shout out to our engineer, Devin, who is just the best, our producer, Cody, and our producer, Avril Halley, also our researcher Nick Kiley and Kyle Waldron, who does all of our cool Instagram and Facebook art. If you want to talk more about Jaws 3D, you can you can give us a call at 619 PAULASK. We’ll talk about it on the how did it get made a mini episode where we have appearances by you. We also have appearances by Blake Harris and the movie Bitches. It’s so much fun. Take a listen to our mini episodes and that is all for now. We’ll see you next week on our mini episode and make sure you head over to the HDTGM store on Teepublic. Teepublic.come/store/HDTGM and get all your shirts and good needs there. Bye for now.

 

Paul Scheer [01:17:42] Good needs.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:17:43] Good needs.