EP. 78 — Samantha Bee

Jameela [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to another episode of I Weigh with Jameela Jamil, I hope you’re well and I hope you’re safe. If you have been reading the internet this week, you may be aware of the murder of Sabina Nessa, who is a 28 year old English woman who was killed 8:30 p.m. on a five minute walk through a park in the early evening in the late summer in the United Kingdom. I don’t even know how that happens at 8:30 p.m. I don’t know why ever happens ever any time we already went through all of this with the Sarah Everard case. If you haven’t heard about the Sabine Nessa case, it may be because she is a woman of color and that has been distinctly less coverage of her death. So I just want to make sure that I am paying tribute to this apparently beloved and kind beautiful young woman whose life was taken by almost definitely a man who did not fucking control himself. And I’m so sorry to anyone listening to this who feels frequently unsafe just because of their gender, just because we live in a society that has still not chosen to treat the cause of male violence and misogyny, and instead just puts all of the pressure and the responsibility onto women to manage men’s complete lack of fucking self-control. We should not wear our headphones when we’re walking home at night. We should pretend to be on the phone. We should only walk through lit high streets. We should carry alarms and whistles and mace. We should not go out at night on our own. We shouldn’t drink too much. We shouldn’t wear the wrong thing. We should get home safe and early. We should spend our money on cabs because it’s not safe for us to take an affordable form of public transport after the Sun goes down, we should do everything. We shouldn’t just treat the fucking cause and handle patriarchy because that’ll be too much effort for men. I had an amazing other episode a couple of months ago after the disappearance of Sarah Everard with Dr. Jackson Katz, who is an educator in the space of tackling men’s violence against women. And it was an extraordinary episode that you might find comforting to listen to because it’s really nice hearing a man talk about this shit for a change and also deeply informative because he says things that don’t even occur to a lot of us because we’ve been so hyper normalized by the world that we live in. He calls bullshit on so much of our society in a way that I just found so illuminating. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to kick this off on a sad note, but this happened, and it is something that most of us are aware of, whether we realize it or not. All day, every day, whether we’re in our house or outside with strangers, we are subconsciously almost all of the time afraid. And that has to stop. And we have to put more pressure on men to step up and do better and not just not to hurt us, but stop each other from hurting us, educate each other, interrupt toxic behavior and toxic language. So it’s something I cover with Dr. Jackson Katz. In the episode a couple of months ago. But I, yeah, I’m just sorry that this is something that has to constantly be in our in our psyche. I didn’t even know until this week that every three days another woman is murdered in the United Kingdom. That’s a terrifying statistic. Anyway. I don’t know how the fuck you’re supposed to segue away from that into a comedy episode of a podcast, but watch me do it. You can hear it in my tone. I’m speaking to a woman today about a different type of empowerment and a different side of the world that we live in. And her name is Samantha Bee. If you are not familiar with her, she is one of the only women in the history of news and kind of late night talk. She is an extraordinary presence not only on social media but also on television. An incredible role model. Hugely talented. So funny. So smart and a much needed voice for women and also for everyone to hear, frankly. I’m a massive fan of hers, and I didn’t think she’d say yes to coming on my podcast. But she did, and we had a wonderful chat. We we talked about, you know, her well, leaving Twitter and and everything that she goes through being one of the few women in the space of talk and late night and news, we talk about the extra double standards she subjected to, but how she’s able to masterfully power through them. She comes at this from a very unapologetic stance, one that I needed to hear. One that I think we all need to hear where she just doesn’t bullshit anyone. And she’s not here for anyone else’s bullshit. She is just such a warrior and very kind of stable in her defiance and. I love seeing that energy from any woman in particular, one as exceptional and as needed as Sam Bee, I’m so happy that she’s able to push through all of the nonsense she does have to sometimes contend with to just do it all. We talk about her being able to have this extraordinary career and still be a dedicated mother and saying fuck off to the rules of what, you know, all the gatekeepers who say that this is the thing that makes you a good mother. And if you have your job and you follow your, you know, if you pursue your dreams and your passions, then you’re not dedicating enough time to your children. She just doesn’t negotiate with other people’s judgment. She’s just here to do her thing. She has a very clear plan of attack to make the world better for those children that she has than it was when she arrived in it. We talk about her boundaries and, you know, I’m I think throughout a lot of the episode, it’s just me being like, How do you cope with this? How do you do this? Teach me. She’s like my own personal Yoda. We also talk about the situation in Afghanistan briefly and talk about ways that maybe you can help by organizations that are incredible, like Choose Love, who are doing great work on the ground. But she’s just there’s just no one like her. She’s so sturdy. I I can’t wait for you to hear this episode. I can’t wait to hear what you think about this episode. I know we started this in a bleak way, but I do think we will end on a high because there’s something about Samantha Bee that just makes you want to punch the fucking air. And if ever we need something like that is probably this week. So I love you. Please be safe. Tell the men in your life to step the fuck up and don’t feel bad about that. And if you don’t want to personally do it, you can always just forward them any of my many tweets or today’s rant in the podcast intro. And I hope you’re all right. This is all increasingly stressful to be a woman with the Texas abortion stuff. Sabina going missing the news cycle. Britney still not being completely free is a lot. It’s a lot. So let’s sit back, relax and enjoy the next hour of a very witty and enjoyable woman. And by that, I, of course, do not mean myself. This is Samantha Bee. Oh, I can’t quite believe you’re here. Samantha Bee. Welcome to I Weigh. Hi!

Samantha [00:07:30] Thank you Hi! I am so excited to be here. 

Jameela [00:07:33] I’m really starstruck by you because I think you’re so excellent and such a great role model in so many ways. But also, you have because I got here not long before you started your own late night talk show. You have been how I’ve learned American politics, and where I’ve gotten American music everything that I get wrong is actually your fault, which is unfortunate.  

Samantha [00:07:59] It’s my fault, I’m so sorry. I wanted to be a better mentor. Oh no, 

Jameela [00:08:04] No, it’s so it’s it’s just one of those things that’s so surreal when someone kind of almost becomes your your teacher, your guide into this completely different political landscape sort of equally corrupt as mine, but more complicated, nuanced and overtly racist ways. Yes, but equally racist narrowly. I yeah, it’s just it’s it’s surreal to have you here now. I. 

Samantha [00:08:28] I’m so excited.  

Jameela [00:08:30] Anyways, it makes me feel like I’m having a delusion. That’s what it is 

Samantha [00:08:34] Mutual admiration society, because I think you’re awesome. 

Jameela [00:08:38] You’re so sweet.

Samantha [00:08:39] Oh boy anyways.

Jameela [00:08:40] How are you? How have you been? You’ve been, you God you’ve just it’s been a lot like the last year and a half having to do so much of your show from home, being able to pull that off. But also just generally, how has your mental health been? There’s been so much news coming. I can’t imagine being in the news space in, especially in the last I mean, really, it’s just the hellscape of 2016. Since when you’ve been 

Samantha [00:09:04] You know what? We did take, I will say that we took a long break over the summer and that was actually very beneficial. Like, I don’t even think that we knew how much we needed it until we were until the break was almost over. And then we went, Oh, thank goodness, what a lucky thing that we decided to just kind of like, put the brakes on for a few weeks and actually like, walk away. And it took me a really long time to walk away because it was just like a lot for me. And I don’t know. It’s not like I feel like everything is dissipated and everything’s great now that the world world is absolutely exploding and covid’s re re exploding and all everything is happening. So just to have a moment of pause before the whole world blew up again was beneficial, I think. 

Jameela [00:09:48] Yeah, do you do you generally struggle do you feel like to stop working? 

Samantha [00:09:53] I do. 

Jameela [00:09:53] Do you have a sense of like? Because I imagine I mean, and being a woman generally and then on top of that, being a woman in this industry, there is also kind of like external pressure just to keep going, keep going. Don’t miss anything. You’ve only got one shot, you’ve got sprint. Not a marathon. 

Samantha [00:10:07] Yes. 

Jameela [00:10:07] Don’t ever stop. But then on top of that, to be in the space that you’re in of talk and news is there an extra sense of obligation and almost like an addiction to I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, but to being responsible for like putting that information out or claiming disinformation. 

Samantha [00:10:31] I think I have more of an addiction to knowing what’s happening all the time. Like, I think it’s more like an addiction to breaking news. So I actually only recently. Well, first of all, all of our work stuff is on Slack, and it took me about like, I probably checked Slack 200 times a day for the first four weeks of break and no one was on it. It was only me just making sure that it was quiet, so dumb. I felt so stupid. Every time I clicked on it too, I was like, just making sure. Um, but then recently I actually went. I stopped using Twitter. I had to actually just kind of at the end of the break, I went, OK, I need to fully stop. And that was actually hard. I do. I’m not like a big user of Twitter, but I am an observer of it, and I always like to know like what’s happening, what’s happening, what’s happening. And I’ve I’ve had to like, let that go. It was actually one thing that made me that drove me off Twitter was. 

Jameela [00:11:27] Was it me? I drove you off Twitter. 

Samantha [00:11:28] It wasn’t you. 

Jameela [00:11:28] OK. 

Samantha [00:11:28] It wasn’t you, but it was with, Oh my god, it’s so crazy. It was Malala, OK? You know,. 

Jameela [00:11:38] Heard of her. 

Samantha [00:11:38] tweeted, You’d heard of her. She was like, I you know, I’m my heart breaks for the my sisters in Afghanistan. It was an emotional plea to think about the women and the refugees going to be pouring out of Afghanistan and someone a blue checkmark person. I don’t even know who it was was like, Really? Your heart bleeds for the women of Afghanistan. Like, what have you done for them? And I was like, You know what? I’m out. I’m actually out. I’m out. This is not an arena that I want to participate in anymore. I can’t do it.

Jameela [00:12:13]  Do you think you’re out like forever out? Have you prison broken? 

Samantha [00:12:18] I think I just need to break the cycle. I need to break. The cycle of even knowing that that is the type of interaction that is waiting for me there, I just need it fully. I need to break it. I need to break that habit. And then I think I can reintroduce like a healthy level of Twitter back into my life. 

Jameela [00:12:34] I don’t think that’s possible. I’m a huge breaking news addict and it’s something I was thinking about. And I swear to God, maybe every single intro last year of this podcast was saying, I’m going to give up social media. We’re all going to do it together, like try to rally my listeners to stop with the self-harm. 

Samantha [00:12:51] Very difficult. 

Jameela [00:12:52] Of just like such a ridiculous onslaught of information. I wanted to ask you something, actually. Someone said something. I mean, a lot of people have been saying this, and it’s often quite privileged people who say they’re so scholars of this. Some people have been saying recently that these are this is technically the best time in human civilization, I guess, to be alive. Technically, statistically. And yet the news would have us believe that everything is worse than ever, that it’s that we are in an untenable time. I feel very much so, the latter that it does feel like we are rolling backwards when I see stuff around abortion rights or what’s happening in Afghanistan or at multiple places in the world, Kashmir, et cetera. And I do feel like we are in a terrible time. What do you what do you make of that? The fact that statistically we’re in less kind of, you know, quote unquote barbaric times? 

Samantha [00:13:44] I do think when anyone you know, kind of like starts the conversation with like. But statistically, life is like, you’re, you know, we live longer than before, 

Jameela [00:13:58] it feels like a really low bar as well. Or do you know it is like an offensively low bar for civilized, like conscious beings that have frontal lobes? It just feels,

Samantha [00:14:10] Oh yeah, the bar is offensively low. I just actually this is an even more. This is an awful. My answer is so awful. I think it’s always awful. I think the world is pretty awful. Like, happy to be alive. I’m not saying I want the world to be better for my children, like I’m doing what I can to lift them forward. But I don’t. I mean, some things are better. Some things are worse. You slightly backslide. Human beings are just sort of generally a mess. 

Jameela [00:14:42] Yeah. Do you feel like you always felt that way? Do you think you or do you feel as though you came into this space and came into the world with more optimism? 

Samantha [00:14:53] No, I wouldn’t say that. I don’t think that I was born like. I’ve never been like a person who was like, Can we just put a positive spin on that? I don’t know. I think I was, too. I think I was born with too much interest and motivation to read the news. Like, I just have always been like this. I’ve just always been a worried child. Like, it was like a worried child worrying about Ronald Reagan when I was like 10 years old. And it just continues. It continues. I so and I I want to say like, I enjoy. I enjoy my life. I enjoy living. I can generally like a happy person, but I think you can be too. I think you can have both of those things happening at the same time. 

Jameela [00:15:38] So then I also want to ask, just especially specifically because this is a mental health podcast and sometimes being on the receiving end of the onslaught of whats happening in the world do you think we have too much terrible news coming at us? Do you think that we need to start becoming more careful and how much of that we let ourselves ingest? Or do you think we’re turning away from all of the, you know, the chaos in the world? 

Samantha [00:16:02] Well, I mean,  

Jameela [00:16:04] That’s what I struggle with. 

Samantha [00:16:05] Yeah, I mean, it’s not like I want to like hector people about like, you’re not paying attention to that deep stuff. But I do think there is like some superfluous stuff that we probably could skitter away from. Like, there is too much attention placed on like dumb stuff like we do focus on stuff that is not important, like just some emerging. I can’t even think of a good example because I’m my brain is too tired, but like some dumb story that pops up and it’s like somebody sent this and what does that mean? And we view the whole world like we just like, glom onto these like individual little stories and kind of turn our attention away. It’s very easy. We’re very fickle. You know, it turns our attention away from things that we actually could be should be thinking about. 

Jameela [00:16:51] That reminds me a lot of what you said that I think I found so compelling you during Cunt Gate what you you called Trump a feckless cunt on the show and then your apology was extremely true and fair and wonderful, but also very funny in which you were talking about the fact that women were upset and you understood why and you didn’t want to upset women. And you said men are also upset and you don’t care. But then you also said, and I think this is the part that I found the most poignant about your apology that I feel like very few people ever say, is that like you felt and pardon me if I paraphrase this incorrectly, but you said that you regret being a part of the distraction of the news cycle, like giving cause for everyone to look away at you rather than the things that you are trying to to raise awareness around. I think I feel very similarly whenever I’m in the hot seat of a controversy, I’m always like, That’s the that’s the biggest regret is that like, fuck now I’ve accidentally taken up loads of space. It’s not about the fact that I’m embarrassed in front of everyone or this idea that I got very little ego left of my 13 years of this business. It’s just sort of chiseled away. But it’s but when I’m in the midst of a controversy, even when it’s lies and a smear campaign, I’m just gutted because I’m like, Fuck, that’s exactly what they wanted. That’s exactly what the powers that be that want that I threaten want is for everyone to be looking at me rather than them who I have been pointed pointing at.  

Samantha [00:18:18] Yes. So I think that it was so frustrating. I will never not be mad about this, and it actually brings up like white hot anger inside me. 

Jameela [00:18:26] Oh sorry. 

Samantha [00:18:26] No, no, no, it’s good is a good thing. It’s like really good to summon every once in a while because so much of that and then like because Cunt Gate was like it was, it went around the world like I had friends in Guatemala who were like, What did you say about Ivanka Trump? Like, Why am I reading about this here? And people in China like it was crazy. And when the news reported on it, like an I mean, like across every network, like across every network, it went on for days. 

Jameela [00:18:58] It was out of control. It was not that big a deal what you did compared to anything Bill Maher has ever done. Not that that’s the fucking point, but I’m just saying. 

Samantha [00:19:04] It just wasn’t a big deal. 

Jameela [00:19:06] It just wasn’t a big deal. 

Samantha [00:19:07] And so many I saw so many newscasters get on their respective programs and go, you know, and the real shame of it is that it distracts from the real story of migrant children. Now, if we can just get back to Cunt Gate, and why would a woman say that vicious word on TV? I’m like, You literally are the news you don’t get to to, like, chastise me for distracting you from the major issue that you are not talking about. Clear the fucking deck of this miniature fucking minor kerfuffle. 

Jameela [00:19:49] It’s a nothing. It’s noting scenario. 

Samantha [00:19:52] And you told the story.

Jameela [00:19:52] Yeah. 

Samantha [00:19:52] Now is when you go. And that’s why we’re going to now going to pivot away from this dumb thing and actually talk about migrant children. Like, that’s the opportunity that wasn’t taken for days. I couldn’t believe it. I will never forget it. I will never forget that feeling. I will never forgive those people, and I know I can see all of their faces doing that exact thing. And I was just, I hope that I never forget how angry that makes me. And it it just remains consistent. I just broke as so many sweat patches like,. 

Jameela [00:20:25] Oh, I feel you. 

Samantha [00:20:26] You know what I mean? It’s outrageous. 

Jameela [00:20:27] I really Oh, dude I really feel you. I really feel you. I remember that like my biggest sort of global controversy, I was truly all over the news. It was on Page Six. I was on CNN. Like it was everywhere. As to whether or not I was actually queer. 

Samantha [00:20:40] Oh my god!

Jameela [00:20:43] I was at the beginning of the pandemic, whether or not I my my disability like, is actually a bad or like, if it even really exists like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which I have like, does it really exist? Is it a red flag? Is she really sick? And it’s like people were dying around the world in a pandemic 

Samantha [00:21:04] A global pandemic.

Jameela [00:21:06] Yeah. And so it put me in a situation where, like for not very long, I like I. I wanted to defend myself and I did very briefly. And then it started to like it dawned on me that much bigger and worse things were happening in the world. And I was like, If I keep fighting this, people are going to stop talking about the fact that we don’t have fucking health care in this country and people are dying everywhere. So I had to like, eat shit and just allow it to just sort of dissipate and fizzle away and just allow it to carry on. But it was amazing how long it went on. I was like, where’s the perspective here? Newscasters who talk about real world news? 

Samantha [00:21:35] It’s not a like, it’s not a com it’s not something that it’s really easy to understand for people. But there there are certain moments where people are spreading misinformation about you. They’re saying something. It’s just not true. And you just have to eat that shit sandwich because you know that if you give it oxygen, you give it a second life and a third life and a fourth life. And actually, the more they provoke you and you more that you take that bait and you want to defend yourself, you want to say that’s this is not true. Like, this is just like, not true. 

Jameela [00:22:07] How do you do it? Because like I’m bad at I’m bad eating shit. Like, I think I have like a like an intolerance. 

Samantha [00:22:12] Maybe I’m too good at eating shit. So like, I don’t know that we or maybe together we would find the perfect balance, but 

Jameela [00:22:19] I do want to talk to you about this. Like, I just always wonder what it’s like to be you. Because you are. 

Samantha [00:22:27] God it’s so boring. So boring. 

Jameela [00:22:30] But how how have you kept your shit together with being such a relentless target for so many people and not just the fucking right, which is what annoys me. 

Samantha [00:22:41] Oh yeah. No, not at all.

Jameela [00:22:43] It’s when it’s the the left, the liberals. Like, How do you how do you keep it together? Like, I need to know for me and I think for everyone, I’m here because you don’t have to be famous to be subjected to scrutiny, gaslighting, misogyny and misinformation being spread around you? 

Samantha [00:23:02] Well, I actually really have a very disciplined, you know, vibe like I am very disciplined about not reading people’s comments about me. Like, I’m like, I mean, that is my. 

Jameela [00:23:15] Did you ever? 

Samantha [00:23:16] Superpower. Absolutely 100 percent. I, when I first started at The Daily Show, was 2003. And like back then back in the early days, it was just like your IMDb. 

Jameela [00:23:31] You would take your horse and cart to work.

Samantha [00:23:33] You take your yeah. Yes. It was just like an IMDb like chat. So underneath the little article about you or underneath your little face and you’re like Q Meter was just like a little chat board of people who sent shit about you or liked you or whatever. And I would google myself, so I would like do a segment on The Daily Show and I would Google myself, and then I would like my heart would break. I would be like sobbing on the floor because nobody ever says anything. If even if 90 people say something nice, you’re going to read that like one comment of the person who’s like, I wish that she would be dead. I hate her. So I really ingested a lot of that for a lot of years. 

Jameela [00:24:14] What does that do to your confidence? 

Samantha [00:24:17] It was so incredibly undermining. And, you know, meanwhile, you’re trying to like, do your job that you’re like, Well, I hope that. I hope that Hanzo Hattori from the IMDb chat board likes what my what my latest offering. And then I and then I was like, I fucking can’t do this. And actually, this is not this is not a solution that I really recommend to anyone, but I did start having children and then I just didn’t have time like it actually was just like, so, you know, like, have children and get a hobby like, I don’t know what they were, my my hobby and my life. I spent so much, you know, I just didn’t have a lot of time to really read people’s shit about me. And then it became a discipline. And then I was like, Wait, why am I checking in with strangers about how they feel about me as a person and their judgments about me? Why don’t I just focus on, like what the work that I’m doing and and just keep moving forward and just like keep one foot ahead of the other? 

Jameela [00:25:19] So have you managed to secure like a full vacuum? You don’t get friends texting, you being like, Are you OK? Because that’s what I get. I don’t read the comments, and then I get fucking sometimes messages from people I love and trust who genuinely just looking out for me being like the internet’s really cunty today I’m just checking in. And I’m like, Fuck, is it? What have I donw now? Fuck. But they’re like, you’re trending. And I’m like, Why am I trending? I didn’t do anything. 

Samantha [00:25:43] Oh, well, they have to stop. You have to. They have to. They have to stop doing it. They just have to treat you like a normal person and like it. They have to understand your discipline. They have to honor your discipline. I have had to tell people in my life, I’m like, Please don’t tell me, like, I don’t want to know, you know, because my family, if they heard about something, you know, they’ll they’ll call me from Canada and they’re like, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. And I’m like, Oh, no, what’s happening? Why are you? It’s the same thing. And so finally, I was like, You have to know I don’t. I’m not going to tell you when I’m doing something like, if I go on Colbert, I’m probably not going to tell you, because now that is a secret, but I’m not going to think to tell you. So you don’t think to tell me when someone’s talking shit about me, like, just don’t tell me I don’t want to know. It doesn’t help. Doesn’t help.

Jameela [00:26:33] Yeah, don’t text well I mean, that’s that’s a good idea, and I think I will start to put that out that it just stresses me out because I’m just not reading it because there’s no point. There is a, you know, and I’ve spoken about this again, like plenty of times publicly and on Instagram, et cetera. But there is a particular hatred of women with opinions, and I guess that’s something that I would like to talk to you about. You’ve experienced it personally. So you’ve watched it happen to I mean, of course, you’ve watched happen to many public figures, but in particular politicians. And I wonder how you feel about it. Do you feel like it’s getting better? Do you feel like it’s getting worse? Because, you know, Gloria Steinem says that after any kind of, you know, after any movement of progress comes a tremendous backlash. Like a backlash is always a sign that there has been a significant moment of progress from any kind of, you know, minority or repressed group.

Samantha [00:27:21] Well it’s, you know, before before 2016, when we all thought that Hillary Clinton was going to win the election. 

Jameela [00:27:28] Mm-Hmm. 

Samantha [00:27:28] Not that that would have solved the world’s problems because it really and truly would not have. We would still have a lot of problems in in a different way.  

Jameela [00:27:39] Yeah. And perhaps less white supremacist rallies. 

Samantha [00:27:42] Maybe less slightly fewer. We would joke around the office. We’d be like, OK, well, after she wins the election, let the backlash against women begin. And boy, like, it just happened so much faster than that. It happened. You know, like the day after she lost. I thought it would take a little longer. I’m consistently pretty surprised by how fast the cycle goes, but it is a cycle and I don’t think it’s really getting. I really don’t think it’s getting better at all. Actually, I’m sorry. 

Jameela [00:28:14] It’s fine no, you shouldn’t think any I I also feel the same way. 

Samantha [00:28:19] I wish it was. 

Jameela [00:28:20] Attacks on people like AOC or just so many, so many of the outspoken women in the space who just, I just think are so wonderful for for carrying on. Are there other at times that you’ve just been like, Fuck this. 

Samantha [00:28:37] Oh yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, definitely. I’m sure there have been for you too. It’s like, well, we could do. I’m still, you know, I still sometimes go, What can I do other than, you know, there’s other stuff I can do. I have other skills like I’m I’m good at a lot of different things. 

Jameela [00:28:54] What’s the thing you would do instead? I want to work in a deli. No, I’m dead I’m fucking deadly serious. 

Samantha [00:29:02] You good with a meat slicer. 

Jameela [00:29:04] I’m good with the meat slicer. I’m good with any kind of a sandwich spread really like I make great sandwich spreads. But also it’s mostly that and I’m sure this is against every food code hygiene code. But I just want to like, try everything, you know? So it just feels like I would get first dibs on all of the  

Samantha [00:29:23] First dibs on all the nosh you get to try everything.

Jameela [00:29:24] All the stuff so.

Samantha [00:29:26] I definitely well, I waitered for so long and I really am quite good at it. I’m not the most congenial waiter, like, I’m not your best friend server, but I 

Jameela [00:29:38] sell the shit out the specials, though, right?  

Samantha [00:29:40] I’m very good, very organized. Like, You’re going to get your food and it is going to be hot, OK? Like it’s going to it’s going to come to you in a timely way and it will be an organized meal. It’s going to come in the right order. 

Jameela [00:29:51] I’m not your friend, but. 

Samantha [00:29:53] We’re not friends. We’re not going to party afterwards, but you’re going to get everything that you want out of this evening, and I’m just going to disappear, OK? So I always think, well, I could go. I’ve always got that. I’ve always got that skill set. So  

Jameela [00:30:06] Do your friends and partner ever get stressed for you and wish that you would quit? 

Samantha [00:30:12] They do. I don’t think that they wish. I think that my family may be is ready for me to stop. Although  

Jameela [00:30:21] Do you mean like your immediate nucleus family of your kids and husband? Or are you talking about like, you know, extended family? 

Samantha [00:30:29] I was thinking more like parents, step parents. I don’t I don’t think that they are. I think that they’ll be happy when I when I finally stop, I think they’ll be happy when I stop because they realize and they see how much I, when I’m when I’m working and I’m quite checked out of a lot of conversations like I’m checking out and our love is real. We’re having great conversations and sometimes I just disappear and I’m there and I’m physically there and I have disappeared. And and now these, everyone needs to gently go like, Hey, hi, we’re over here, and now they’re just like, She’s gone, she’s gone. She’s gone. And sometimes I can hear them and I’m like, Oh, yeah, sorry, I’m back, I’m back, I’m back. So finding, finding that balance of like, she’s gone. She’s she’s not reachable. Let’s go into the other room. 

Jameela [00:31:26] Everyone, everyone in my house, everyone in my house does that. And my my boyfriend definitely supports what I do, but is also now. Now he’s OK because I’m OK. And I’ve just learned actually, I don’t know. I’ve kind of I’ve decided to let just like let just settle in to the mass dislike, I’m kind of into it, like, I’m free now. I feel free for the first time ever where I’m like, God, now I don’t have to fucking try to be every single individual from every different background, every different product of their own environment, everyone’s fucking cup of tea. 

Samantha [00:32:02] I think that’s great. 

Jameela [00:32:03] Someone said, you can’t be liked by everyone. You’re not chicken fingers. And I saw on a card that I had, but I think I’m going to send to you just for these moments. It really made me feel attacked, obviously, when I saw it. But it’s also been kind of life-changing. I was like,  

Samantha [00:32:24] Can you say that one more time I want to write that down for myself? 

Jameela [00:32:27] You can’t be liked by everyone. You’re not chicken fingers. 

Samantha [00:32:31] You’re not chicken fingers. That should be a needle point. That should be a needle point. And you should have it like right above your desk. 

Jameela [00:32:36] I’m going to I’m going to make you one as well, but I really think we should have matching cushions of this. I think I’m going to send them to every single woman in the media. I think it should just be given to you as like your first day in media. You should just be given this screen. It should be like a screaming cushion. 

Samantha [00:33:00] My kids are very helpful in this regard, too, because they are so clearly the focus of my life, which is it’s so it’s bad when they’re like, she’s gone. It makes me feel bad. I’m like, alright, yes you’re right. 

Jameela [00:33:11] How old are they? 

Samantha [00:33:12] They’re 15 and 13 and 11, and they command a lot of time and good loving energy. And they also don’t give a flying fuck what I do for a living like they just don’t care at all. They don’t think it’s cool or great. They’re just like, What’s your work? OK, that’s fine. Can we do? We want to we want to go swimming. Are you coming? Or like, can you get us some breakfast? They don’t invest in it. And so it’s it’s a good way to be reminded of Oh, right, yes, there’s like my life, life, and then there’s this life and there has to be a separation between the two things there has to be. 

Jameela [00:33:51] I think that’s I think that’s extremely difficult for some people to muster, not because they’re actually difficult for them to muster as in like not necessarily actually as excruciating as society has made it for specifically women to be able to, like, straddle both of those places following their passion. I mean, especially such an all encompassing passion, a spiritual as well as at the same time your other all encompassing passion is your love for your children. 

Samantha [00:34:15] People have not made it. It is not. It is not an easy road for people. It is not an easy road. 

Jameela [00:34:22] Have you been shamed over this sort of stuff? 

Samantha [00:34:26] People have actually people have tried. But the one thing I’m I would say, the thing that I’m most solid in is that you cannot come at my parenting like you just cannot. I just done like, it’s an unbreakable. I don’t. I don’t like if there’s anything I really, truly don’t give a shit about. It’s what anybody else thinks about my parenting because I have a good and we’re very solid in like my relationship with my children. And so it is like impervious to outside forces. That’s the one that is like one area where like, really, if you really come and people for sure, try they’re like, what kind of a mother would say, I’m like, Fuck all the way off. Like, it doesn’t even penetrate me at all. 

Jameela [00:35:15] OK, so how did you get to that place then? Because I definitely get so many letters from mothers of every kind of different age just saying like, How do I how do I. 

Samantha [00:35:24] Oh my god. 

Jameela [00:35:24] No I do. I mean, the thousands of letters like saying, How do I deal with this guilt that I have or the shaming that I’m receiving, even from people that I work with who, you know, demanding that I be at work, but then also making me feel bad for being there. I’m just going home and being with my children. What advice do you have? How did you get to that place of like, impenetrable confidence that you’re good? 

Samantha [00:35:44] How did I get to that place? That’s a great question. For a long time, we had a a parenting blog with with with my comedy partner for a long time, she’s one of the eps of the show. And we wrote just humorous essays about stuff that we had like about our learning curve when we were early parents very early on in the early 2000s and the amount blogs and the amount of shit that people threw at us for, just like speaking honestly about like a small like a little thing that we did in the parenting space, we were like, This felt weird. Well, should we talk about this and people were like, You bitches, you bad mother, you’re just ruined your child’s life. Like, I didn’t even. And that I built a wall around it and I went like, I’m making choices. Nobody’s perfect. You know, I’m honest with my children. We have a good and solid relationship. So it was hard for them to see my to see my face splashed across the front of the New York Post after calling Ivanka Trump a cunt for sure. Like that wasn’t easy for them, but it really just came with with time. And also, I have, you know, but I have the the the luxury and privilege of having an incredibly supportive partner like my husband is in there with me. So we’re have a fluid way to kind of bat around these ideas. I don’t think it’s easy and I don’t really have any solutions. I really don’t. 

Jameela [00:37:19] Yeah, you’re doing your best and your it is it is a decision. And I didn’t know it was a decision until a year and a half ago that you can actually choose whether or not you are going to govern your life by other people’s standards. And I think when you can actually like, we can intellectually make that decision from when we’re 18, right? We’re just like, I don’t give a fuck because like, that’s what we’re taught. We were taught that by Alanis Morissette for our sake. And, you know, Gloria Steinem and all these different, you know, great voices of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. But you it really has to come from like, it’s a deep roar from within of just like, I am going to die, I’m going to die if I try and live up to everyone’s like pedestal expectation of me. And I think we all need to take that with us. 

Samantha [00:38:04] You cannot crowdsource your values or your personality like this is not how it works. It’s not. It’s never going to work. It’s never going to set you up for success. Like set yourself up for success every day. Like, fuck other people. 

Jameela [00:38:21] A hundred percent God. I believe that so intensely, whilst also admiring the fact that you do maintain like a very strong moral code online, like, you know, I think that there’s a difference between just like, fuck everyone. I have no responsibility to be good, but also fuck the people who are projecting their own fucking insecurities and shit onto me. That’s where you have to learn how to, like, analyze where actually matters that you change or where you don’t have to. 

Samantha [00:38:44] Somebody told me something really great once, which was like that you should draw. You know, it was Masha Gessen, actually, and they told me that you should draw like a red line in the sand for yourself. And that is your line. That is like your ethics, that’s your moral code. And just know what it is and never cross that line. Never cross that line. 

Jameela [00:39:05] 100 percent. Everyone should watch your interview with Masha. That was that just to be haunted. The 2016 one in particular, where she predicted the autocracy four years before people like I think this is turning into an autocracy. 

Samantha [00:39:19] Masha is Masha is an incredible human being, and honestly, I have taken that lesson. I reflect on it. It’s something that I really do try to live with there are very few things that I like that I that I recall almost every single day, and that is really one of them. That is something that I think about all the time. If I’m not saying it’s easy to like, figure out what those things are, but you know, 

Jameela [00:39:43] Write them down, maybe write them down. I’m going to do it straight after this podcast.

Samantha [00:39:48] Honestly got to get the needle point. You you’re not chicken fingers. 

Jameela [00:39:55] Can I talk to you about marriage a little bit because I was just always, I’m so obsessed with long term relationships because I don’t. I’m in one, but I I. 

Samantha [00:40:06] How long have been in it? 

Jameela [00:40:07] We’re seven years. I think we’re going at seven. So like so it’s it’s, you know, it’s nothing compared to where you’re at. But. 

Samantha [00:40:14] No, no, no, that’s not nothing. 

Jameela [00:40:15] But we constantly like exist in like existential crisis of is this like, how will we still love each other this much? How are we still going to have each other this much later and and all these different things? So it’s definitely it’s definitely something that we’re also increasingly told is unnatural. And I think like all these kind of different, you know, you know what I mean, it’s just well with the current like, you know, conversation and framing. And I don’t think it’s unhealthy is like people questioning monogamy like intensely in. So it’s almost a kind of a complete flip reverse from when I was growing up where everyone was just like, monogamy is normal and polyamory is a sign that you’re, you know, you’re deeply troubled. And I think now I don’t think monogamy is a sign that one is deeply troubled. But I do think that the conversation has flipped in a way that feels much more open for different people who maybe aren’t going to find a lot of what they want in just one person, I’m definitely a monogamy person. I would say just just because I’m not very good at competitions, so I just, 

Samantha [00:41:11] Oh no I would not thrive.

Jameela [00:41:11] I’ve lost every competition I’ve ever been in, like every potato sack race you name it, I’m just I suck. And so and I bow out, I give up. I mean,. 

Samantha [00:41:21] Me too. I give up immediately. 

Jameela [00:41:22] I have like, I have no I have no sense of like real. I can fight on my own, but I’m not interested in anyone else’s lane. 

Samantha [00:41:33] I am exactly like that. I think that’s a that’s a trait that you and I share, except when it comes to trivia competitions and I’m an animal in trivia competitions. In every other in every other way. I’m like, You fight it out amongst yourselves. I’m going to 

Jameela [00:41:49] Oh no, I would do that thing that big dogs do when they’re faced with the little dogs that they want to like. I am. That’s me I would like if I was near you in a trivia conversation, I would immediately lie down on my side and put my head on the ground. 

Samantha [00:42:02] Trivia competitions aside. 

Jameela [00:42:05] I would expose my belly to you. I would actually lift my shirt to expose my belly to my heart. Like all of my vital organs to you, I just have no

Samantha [00:42:13] That’s nice though seven years is a big accomplishment. 

Jameela [00:42:15] Yeah, we’re pretty proud, pretty proud. And so I mean, you guys have been together since 1996. You’ve been married since 2001. 

Samantha [00:42:23] Yes. 

Jameela [00:42:24] I’ve been in like Hollywood for a lot of this time, not Hollywood. But you know what I mean, like the entertainment industry, which is turbulent, turbulent. 

Samantha [00:42:33] We’re not in that turbulent space like we. 

Jameela [00:42:37] I don’t mean just like how I don’t mean like ugh, so many attractive people around saying, I just mean. 

Samantha [00:42:43] There’s too many people to report. 

[00:42:43] Yeah no I mean, I just mean that it’s, you know, it’s a chaotic, non non rhythmic existence full of traveling all of the time and full of not always knowing what you’re going to be doing next week. It’s an inconsistent life. But regardless of that, how you this is decades of your life. How is how is how is this happened? 

Samantha [00:43:08] How is this possible? Um I don’t know. Like, I don’t have I don’t have a secret. I think we’re just a good match. We’re just a well-matched couple and we like came together. I am a like slightly older than Jason is like three, three and a half. Sometimes it’s four years. Sometimes it’s like numerically four sometimes it’s three and a half. 

Jameela [00:43:31] Same. 

Samantha [00:43:33] I like it better when it’s like a three and a half year difference. But we just kind of built our, I don’t know, we built our life together. I will say that like neither one of us has been, we’ve been pretty balanced since we started. We don’t. Neither of us has any secret like we love each other. It’s a great partnership. We fight sometimes or we disagree frequently, I guess, but not in a way that is like, I don’t think any of us. I don’t think either of us have ever walked away from a fight going like, Well, is that it? Because and there’s something just it grounds us. This relationship has always lifted both of us in in in very like the the sum of the parts is is better than us individually. And I think we both. I don’t think we’ve I’m babbling because I actually don’t think we think about our relationship all that much. We don’t really talk about it. 

Jameela [00:44:26] That’s great. 

Samantha [00:44:26] And we don’t really think about it. It just sort of exists. 

Jameela [00:44:29] And just happened. 

Samantha [00:44:31] It just happened. We’ve always we’ve had this like what has been great, I will say, is that we’ve always had like that. There’s been like a fluidity of like, who’s working, who’s not working, who’s kind of carrying more of the weight, who’s who’s doing more of this? 

Jameela [00:44:46] Is that a conversation? Because, you know, we’re talking about mothers and balancing being able to go after your dream, like really fucking like you’ve gone after your dreams. 

Samantha [00:44:54] Definitely. 

Jameela [00:44:55] And and really just been incredibly present at your job whilst also being able to be a present parent and you were crediting the fact that you have a very loving and supportive partner. So when it comes to that kind of striking that balance and and both people having their own separate careers? Forgive me, I’m not actually aware of what your husband 

Samantha [00:45:16] he was on The Daily Show for years and years. And then he went and created a show called The Detour, which you would really love it’s really funny. 

Jameela [00:45:26] I will immediately investigate it. Yes, I will. 

Samantha [00:45:28] It’s so funny. You just have to trust me. 

Jameela [00:45:30] So how do you how do you divvy that up then? Like, is there a plan at the beginning of the year or the beginning of every kind of season of like, who’s going and going to do this, that and the other like so we can make sure that at least one of us is here with the kids?

Samantha [00:45:43] No, no. Well, we like, OK, so we have, you know, our family is very supportive. We have a babysitter who we love like we definitely have. We like have a babysitter who we love and who has always like been with us through all since the beginning of the time that we started having children. We have all of our family members live in Canada, but they’ve always been so flexible about coming about we could just like fly them to New York and they would babysit the kids for two days if we both had to be away. And we’ve we’ve made a lot of choices. We’ve made professional choices. We’ve made professional sacrifices, didn’t come without a certain level of sacrifices. We’ve given up jobs because they didn’t fit into like Jason got a huge job offer. The moment we had our first baby, like the day that she was born, he got this massive job offer and we just looked at each other and he was like, I can’t do this right now. Like, I’m not. I can’t. I can’t do this. And I was like, That’s awesome, because please don’t do this job because I’m going to my head’s about to explode. Like, I don’t know what I’m doing here, and we just kind of understood together that it wasn’t the right opportunity if it didn’t come at the right time. We definitely. That’s so funny because that was 15 years ago, and we just talked about it almost for the first time the other day, I was like, Oh God, do you remember when you got this huge job offer, right when Piper was born and you said no to it and I was so grateful and you were like, How could I have done it? Like, How could I get on a plane and leave? My baby was just born? And I think like, first of all, finding a partner who is that person is 

Jameela [00:47:24] Lovely.

Samantha [00:47:26] Lovely. And and that’s how we both are like, we just are kind of like that in general, anyway. So we’ve we’ve had support, we’ve had the financial means to to create a supportive for us, like when we need a family member to come across the border, we can fly them to come and help us. So we’ve had that kind of flexibility and the ability to do that, and that was really helpful. I mean, we make choices as we go. Like we we’ve kind of always figured it out as we went along. I don’t know how to explain it, except that it it feels very it is. It’s pretty natural. And you know, I do more of this thing and Jason does more of this thing, and that’s a pretty natural fit too like, even though sometimes I’m like, Oh I’m the only one folding laundry! I have to do all of it! Because I do so much laundry, and that’s the job that falls to me, and sometimes I don’t like it or like I do most of the cooking and that falls to me. 

Jameela [00:48:32] Oh no, Jamie’s James does more of the cooking and I do a lot of the cleaning. And when it comes to the dog, I feel like I’ve worked out a way for him to deal with more of the poo. It’s like a 65 35 situation. 

Samantha [00:48:53] That’s pretty good. You find your you find your levels.

Jameela [00:48:55] Yeah, it’s a lot of tidying. And I also like, I’m the one who makes sure that all of the great snacks are here all the time. So I feel like that’s fair.

Samantha [00:49:02] I remember someone saying, and I don’t exactly. I’m totally paraphrasing, but it was like, you should try to have a partner who sort of believes in the same level of cleanliness that you do like actually, to part of a set of partners who share an idea about how clean something should be is actually very valuable, more valuable than you think. Because if one person has an idea of cleanliness that is like scrupulous and like vacuum tracks in the rug and like glasses lined up like an orchard and the other person is like, I love to be dusted in Cheetos, and I like to have socks drying on the back of my sofa. 

Jameela [00:49:42] That’s me. 

Samantha [00:49:44] It’s hard That part is like finding that balance. That’s that’s a challenge. 

Jameela [00:49:48] Yeah, I think that’s great. I think I think that’s what broke a lot of my friends up last year with cleanliness. I think that’s actually quite profound. 

Samantha [00:49:55] It’s a very it sounds so it’s it’s it seems very basic like it seems very dumb to even talk about that. And, you know, it kind of it’s it’s meaningful. It’s not nothing. 

Jameela [00:50:11] This week I mentioned Choose Love in this episode as an example of an organization that I really, really love and respect, and they are helping so many refugees right now obtain supplies, necessities and support. If you like this episode and want to learn more about Choose Love and how to help and listen to our episode from last December with Josie Naughton. It is one of the best episodes of this entire podcast. It’s one of the only time someone actually managed to make me cry on this podcast a taste of my own medicine. It’s the most inspired you’ll ever be. I swear to God. Check out the episode with Josie Naughton about Choose Love and enjoy. OK, so I want to now just fully shift gears as far away from all of that as sort of like more chilled stuff that we’ve been talking about and I wouldn’t say fluffy because I think that parenthood being a woman under this much scrutiny, all these things are incredibly potent. But I do want to I want to talk about Afghanistan with you. 

Samantha [00:51:10] OK. 

Jameela [00:51:10] Do you mind? 

Samantha [00:51:11] No, I mean, 

Jameela [00:51:13] I know we were having like a nice, chilled moment, but I think I just want to specifically talk about the refugee status. I know this is something that you feel very passionately about and something I feel very passionate about. In fact, the only charity I really like fully constantly aligned with is Choose Love, whose work is specifically and exclusively with supporting refugees. 

Samantha [00:51:36] Mm hmm. 

Jameela [00:51:36] And so I I think this so this so much in the news cycle and so much chaos on Twitter, and so many people get all of their news just from Twitter. Not even they don’t even click into the articles. They read the headline and they share the headline. And there’s there’s a wealth of kind of skewering opinions around it. And I just kind of wanted you to sort of break down what has just happened and what the implications are for refugees and how we should be very careful about the way that they’re being spoken about right now in the news. 

Samantha [00:52:13] We’ve done so much material on the show about refugees and asylum seekers. It’s something I think about constantly. We think about at the show constantly and I think about personally, constantly. So I was just saying to someone, I was like, The deal is that how a person speaks and feels about refugees and asylum seekers to me tells me, like everything I need to know about that person. If you can’t summon compassion for a person who would run across the desert with their babies, what is? Like, who the fuck are you like, what are you made of? Sorry, my voice just drops like just three octaves. It’s just. It’s staggering the level of pain that is flowing in and around Afghanistan, people coming to the United States, people dispersing all over the world. We are not even like imagining these refugee agencies now in the United States that had their entire workplace decimated under the Trump administration, just like absolutely dismantled. And now we’re going to be receiving people who don’t know where they are would really rather be living in a stable country like who? I can’t. I can’t separate my emotion from the story, but for me, this is the story in the story as we need to get out the people who want to leave. We need to get them out and we need to support them. 

Jameela [00:53:52] Just clarifying some of this has been criticism online of the fact that the U.S. withdrew in this speedy clusterfuck from like mortifying like fast, chaotic clusterfuck. And then you have a lot of people just saying you should stay and fucking help and like, make sure that people are safe, and then you have other people saying well them being there in the first place as what created and funded the Taliban. And this is, you know, they’ve interfered so much. The external interference of other countries for 120 years in Afghanistan that have been the problem. So there’s no point in them staying and this would always have inevitably happened anyway. But he had like really like liberal politicians coming out and just being like, You know, this is always going to happen. 

Samantha [00:54:32] Well, you can get really mired down in the details and like blaming each other and blaming. And this is what I would have done and this is what we should have done. And this is what. And all of that is valid or whatever. But like what is happening right now is that people need help, like, like literally right now, they need it. Like right now, that’s the story, right? That is the story. 

Jameela [00:54:55] Do you think that that means the US going back in and maintaining a stronghold there? Do you think that is? And I’m I’m like, This is a part of the world that isn’t far from where I’m from, but I think even I am just like and I’ve watched us go through this. I’ve watched Bin Laden enter my country and fucking hide there. You know, it’s just it’s so fraught. But even I don’t know what the answer is, and I was wondering if you could just solve this global crisis right now on my podcast. 

Samantha [00:55:23] Let me just solve it and then and my internet goes out.

Jameela [00:55:27] and then it’ll be fixed yeah. 

Samantha [00:55:29] I don’t have. I don’t. I don’t have any solution, except that the only thing that I can think to do is to help the people that are coming out of there. 

Jameela [00:55:37] So go back in and just get as many people out as possible. 

Samantha [00:55:41] Fuck. 

Jameela [00:55:41] But how many like. 

Samantha [00:55:42] I don’t know! I don’t know.

Jameela [00:55:44] I know, I know, 

Samantha [00:55:46] but I also don’t. But I also don’t want to go like it’s too big a problem, 

Jameela [00:55:50] 100 percent. 

Samantha [00:55:53] So I’m sure we’ll fix it on next week’s show. probably figure it out.

Jameela [00:55:59] 100 percent well also like as one of the only women in the space, like it really is up to you specifically to solve. 

Samantha [00:56:05] It is. 

Jameela [00:56:05] Because the men are doing their best. Also boys will be boys, you know what I mean? So.

Samantha [00:56:09] Boys and their toys. 

Jameela [00:56:11] It’s really important that you fix it by yourself. And can you also look very thin and young whilst doing so? Don’t be annoying when you’re please, please don’t be annoying and don’t have a shrill voice. 

Samantha [00:56:27] I’ll try to stand better. 

Jameela [00:56:29] Don’t be preachy when you’re like talking to us about some basic equal rights for humor because you just not be loud and preachy. 

Samantha [00:56:40] There’s a lot of feedback about how I what I do with my hands, and so I want to make sure that all the people who don’t like how I talk with my hands, I want to make sure they’re satisfied. 

Jameela [00:56:51] Just cup your breasts, you know what I mean? Like, just cup your breasts. 

Samantha [00:56:53] Well, I would push them together but they’re also old breasts. And so they’re, you know,

Jameela [00:57:01] Hold them like hold them really high up like sort of just under your ears, like an earring, but your nipples are earrings. 

Samantha [00:57:05] Yeah, I like that. That sounds good. That sounds comfortable. 

Jameela [00:57:09] Well, then ways in which we can all support. I mean, Choose Love is a is a charity that I think are absolutely an organization of a foundation rather but they are I think they don’t like the word charity, and I love that about them. They are an organization that is dedicated to empowering refugees, and they have been very, very committed to try and get, you know, their extraordinary during what was happening in Syria. Choose Love is a great organization. Where else do you feel like we could direct our attention as in like, how can we organize to support this new wave of emergency? Not to say the migrant emergency hasn’t existed for a really long time, but this is a sudden and current like desperate need for our attention right now. 

Samantha [00:57:52] Keeping the pressure on your political leaders to allow refugees to come into this country is actually so valuable, like it sounds so nerdy to sit down and write letters. But I write letters all the time. I write like a nerd letters, and I like send it the White House! 

Jameela [00:58:09] Do you? 

Samantha [00:58:09] Like I do. I get like stamps because I feel like a hard copy is better than an email and they read all that stuff. And it’s actually really it’s vital if they listen to it. If you have the time, it’s like, you know, it’s not like saying something online. If you have like the time to sit down and pen a letter and like, fold it up and put it in a thing and put a stamp on it. Those that means something. It’s very meaningful. 

Jameela [00:58:37] Yeah, and I think that sometimes people can feel as though there’s no point. And will my letter ever be read, will I make a difference? And just me, I just, you know, I have five friends and I’m, you know, 17 and I don’t, you know, but two words come to mind. Derek Chauvin, when it comes to proof of what people can do when we organize, when we become relentlessly loud and persistent is that we were able to finally finally bring some justice to someone who had abused that power. And so I feel as though that should be an inspiration, hopefully to young people as to what they were so significant in achieving 

Samantha [00:59:18] Civic engagement can often feel like screaming into the void. But I but it is very impactful. It is very impactful. 

Jameela [00:59:26] Yeah, someone’s at the end of that void listening. Unbelievable. 

Samantha [00:59:29] Unbelievable. Yes. 

Jameela [00:59:30] Yeah. Oh, Samantha, thank you so much for coming on to my podcast. 

Samantha [00:59:35] Thank you this was so fun. 

Jameela [00:59:35] I really, really appreciate you. This was so it was so nice to get to know you. And generally, I just really appreciate your presence and how you continue to sort of learn and form publicly and the way that you are committed to the right you reserve the right to change your mind or to make a mistake, or to learn and to grow and have done for your entire career. 

Samantha [00:59:57] You have to. 

Jameela [00:59:57] No, I agree. But a lot of people don’t feel like they can. And you prove that you can and you must. 

Samantha [01:00:01] You must not be perfect. 

Jameela [01:00:04] Samantha, thank you so much for giving me so much of your time. I know that you are the busiest person in the world. Thank you for being on this podcast. But before you go, can you please tell me, what do you weigh? 

Samantha [01:00:15] Oh, I definitely. I definitely weigh. I definitely weigh my children and my family for sure. Like for sure, I’m just not. I’m not myself without them. 

Jameela [01:00:26] That’s lovely. Well, thank you very much and go back to your very busy day. And I hope we get to, I hope we get to speak again. 

Samantha [01:00:35] Me too. 

Jameela [01:00:36] I’m going to send you chicken fingers. 

Samantha [01:00:39] Oh my God. 

Jameela [01:00:40] Mush that I’m going to make for you. 

Samantha [01:00:42] This is incredible. That is the greatest. I love that so much. It’s a great reminder. 

Jameela [01:00:48] Have a nice day. 

Samantha [01:00:49] You, too. 

Jameela [01:00:51] Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. I Weigh with Jameela Jamil is produced and research by myself, Jameela Jamil, Erin Finnigan and Kimmie Gregory. It is edited by Andrew Carson, and the beautiful music you’re hearing now is made by my boyfriend, James Blake. If you haven’t already, please rate review and subscribe to the show. It’s a great way to show your support. We also have a bonus series exclusively on Stitcher Premium called Ask Jameela Anything. Check it out. You can get a free month of Stitcher Premium by going Stitcher.com/Premium and using the promo code I Weigh. Lastly, over at I Weigh, we would love to hear from you and share what you weigh at the end of this podcast. You can leave us a voicemail at 1-818-660-5543 or email us what you weigh at IWeighPodcast@gmail.com. And now we would love to pass the mic to one of our fabulous listeners. 

Listener [01:01:43] I am a cancer nurse and I weigh every smile that my patients give me during their chemotherapy treatment. I weigh every life that I’ve had at hand and saving or even making a little bit better. I weigh my marriage, which is coming up on its five year anniversary. I weigh my recovery from an eating disorder and self-harm, and I weigh my dedication to waking up every morning and showing up for the people in my life. Thank you so much for this podcast and everything it stands for. It’s truly changed my life.