EP. 343 — Samurai Cop LIVE!

Paul Scheer [00:00:01] Righteousness. Loyalty. Honor. Respect. Honesty. Courage. Consistency. These are the seven rules of the samurai. However, in this movie, they replace those rules with cooking, running, shooting, fucking, fighting, pony tail maintenance, and soft, soft kisses. We saw Samurai Cop, so you know what that means.

 

Music [00:00:38] [Intro Song]

 

Paul Scheer [00:01:25] Hello, people of San Francisco! And hello people of Earth! I am Tall John Scheer and welcome to How Did This Get Made. Today we are talking about the 1991 action drama classic Samurai Cop. A movie lost for many years and then discovered recently in a vault. We’ll get into that in a little bit. I won’t list the actors because it won’t make a difference. But they are all fucking great. What is this movie about? Well it’s simple. It’s about a cop from San Diego via Japan, which I have questions about. Who comes to get a gang who has one briefcase of cocaine. And then, seemingly in about two days, a body count of epic proportions just goes higher and higher every moment as they try to get to the bottom of this case, which they knew who was behind it from the beginning. This movie is action. This movie is sex. This movie is fun. And it also is a lot of Lethal Weapon 2. To break down tonight’s film. Please welcome my co-host, Mr. Jason Mantzoukas!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:20] What’s up, jerks!? That’s right. Give it to me, San Francisco. How are we doing? Fuck yes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:34] Jason, I told this crowd before we started the show, this is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:38] These motherfuckers right here?

 

Paul Scheer [00:03:39] Yes. These San Francisco motherfuckers got lucky with this movie. This is a movie that people have talked about for a long time here on this podcast.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:03:49] I’ll be honest with you, I had an experience watching this movie, which was so interesting and is such a part of this show, which was the high, low reaction. High. The highest of highs. Yes. Oh my God, this is a blast. How have we never done this before? Holy shit. This is incredible. And then the lowest of lows. If at 13 years in we still have gold like this, we’re going to be doing this shit forever. That, this, that this exists and we haven’t done it means there’s still work to do. And that chilled me to the bone.

 

Paul Scheer [00:04:26] I’m excited about. We need it. We need to do it. I mean, look, we you know, this is why we do this show. To unearth relics like Samurai cop. And there’s a person who loves cop movies, who loves soft kisses and loves a good wig. Please welcome to the stage, my other co-host. June Diane Raphael! Welcome, June.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:06] How are you, Paul?

 

Paul Scheer [00:05:07] I’m doing well. How are you?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:09] I’m okay. I actually. I just want to get one thought out there real quick. Is after I saw this, I turned to Paul and I said, I don’t think I like kissing. Like, I don’t think I like it. I don’t like it as an idea. Like, why do we have to kiss? Kissing is gross.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:27] Kissing, watching, kissing like this. It was gross.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:32] It makes me sick.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:32] That being said. That being said, I would take every single soft, gentle, tongue filled kiss.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:05:43] Ew.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:05:44] In this movie. Then all of the sex scenes combined in the 50 Shades of Gray movies that we did last week. This movie was better sexually than all three 50 Shades of Gray movies combined. Full stop.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:02] Here’s the thing about the kissing before we move away from it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:05] No, I only want to talk about the kissing.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:07] I only want to talk about the kissing. I think it was shock. I think what I was so confused by was to see so many naked bodies or near naked bodies only kissing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:18] Well, that was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:20] June, I hate to say. I hate to come down so hard on you, but there was also soft caresses.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:26] Well, that was what I want to talk about. I wanted to talk about the hand on leg, and I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life than when his little finger went into her thong underwear. I was like, well, what is happening here? I don’t like him forming a hook.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:46] None of it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:47] No one takes off their underwear. But yet they.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:50] No they do.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:51] But they seem to be fucking so hard.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:06:52] There’s there. We see Bush in this movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:54] Oh yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:06:55] We do.

 

Paul Scheer [00:06:56] She’s the only one. But she unrobes and I feel like most people, most people are in bed in black underwear, black underwear or white underwear. And I was watching it and thinking to myself, it’s so sexual, but so chaste because there’s not even tongue kissing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:18] Well that’s the thing there is tongue kissing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:19] A little.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:20] There is, oh, there’s extreme closeup of tongue action. Like the movie, I think wants the tongue penetration to be the penetration.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:31] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:31] And that’s where it is. And I was like, this is the like, this is a time when, like the eroticism of the way it was. Did you say 91?

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:40] 91.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:40] The 80s, the late 80s? I guess the early 90s is tongue kissing and gentle, soft, gentle caresses.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:07:47] Ew.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:48] This is where I learned it all.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:07:50] To soft, gentle music.

 

Paul Scheer [00:07:52] This is where where you hear, like, kind of like this, like saxophone kind of playing. Now, I will say this. As somebody who, I’m a hairy man. I have hair on my body. I was uncomfortable by that one man’s weird hair on his body, where it was just it seemed like he had a landing strip of hair down, like the calf of his leg. I was like, you know, do this man’s at that point, if you got to have hair all around or you got shave it, like, I feel.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:17] Like Jessica St. Clair always says, I want all the hair or none of the hair. Yes. You know, it’s got to be one or the other.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:24] I got to put that on a t shirt, if it’s not already. That’s a t shirt.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:28] I do think, though. What I liked about this movie was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:32] Everything?

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:32] Yes, and maybe I’m wrong about this, but I’m going to go out and boldly say it didn’t feel exploitative because it felt like everyone was kind of like, I know what I’m in for, and I’m doing it like the see, the sex scenes are long.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:48] They were so long.

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:49] I mean, when the first one that we see when he’s fucking the helicopter pilot.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:54] Holy shit.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:08:56] Paul, don’t you mean girl cop?

 

Paul Scheer [00:08:58] Sorry.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:08:59] I, I kept riding lady cop.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:01] When he’s fucking the lady cop. We know that they’re both wearing underwear. We see it. There’s no movement to take off underwear. And then I feel like I was watching like a mime version of sex. It was like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:13] There was also. Yes. She gets on top of him and they both stop moving. It’s like. Like I was like, oh, are they not allowed and now engage in motion? Or does that?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:29] I don’t know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:29] Somehow make it like an X rating or something because God forbid, like if someone gets up on top of me, that’s when movement is happening.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:37] Well, well I believe yeah. That. Yeah. That he wasn’t there.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:41] Oh, wait. What?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:42] Well that’s wonderful news actually.

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:44] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:09:44] Oh, you mean because it was the camaera?

 

Paul Scheer [00:09:45] Yes.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:09:46] Yes, because I really thought to myself that one actress who was in the black bikini, who I guess becomes his love interest. Yes, the restaurant owner, Blue Lagoon, even though I thought he was in some sort of a casual relationship with the lady cop. But that woman inexplicably has a black bathing suit with her on her way to church, but put that over there for now.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:11] He picked her up from church. Brought her to his home midday.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:16] Hold on. Let’s just.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:16] For a dinner he’s cooked.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:19] In the afternoon.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:20] That includes, I believe, a chicken and some sort of casserole in a pie rack.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:26] I’m going to say this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:29] This guy has made a casserole.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:31] You’re you’re saying picked up, I say kidnaped.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:35] Oh, yeah. She has been a I wrote as well. This woman has been abducted.

 

Paul Scheer [00:10:39] But I also understand that Sunday is often people’s laundry day, and she probably was wearing a bathing suit underneath because she’d run out of underwear.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:10:48] I was wondering, does he have a bikini at the house? It’s like, oh, you can throw this on if you want because we’re going to go in both the ocean and a pool here at my house. I am a San Diego cop on loan to the Los Angeles Police Department because I am a quote unquote samurai.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:09] Okay, there’s so much you guys I really like. I wish we had an agenda or something, because there’s so much to get into.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:14] I wish we had six hours. Thank God we do.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:18] I took up the most. I took the most notes on this movie. I really.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:23] I know. I have so much to say.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:25] I have so many just lines of dialog out wholesale. I also at the. I watched it today in the hotel and the wait and I set up. I plugged in June. You gave me an Apple TV when I got Covid in Houston. Thank you very much. Give it up for June. I brought I brought my Apple TV with me, I.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:42] I technically bought it, June brought it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:43] No, June. It was June.

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:45] I bought it, she brought it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:11:48] I got it all at Target. What are you talking about?

 

Paul Scheer [00:11:49] Oh you’re right. I was with the kids.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:11:50] Yeah I said June got it for me. Paul, pissed on it. I hooked it up I play I started playing the movie for some reason. The movie would only play at 100% volume on the TV. I watched this entire movie in a hotel at 100% volume, which, when you know the movie is A, completely ADR’d and B, full of gunplay, I was like, what must the people in the other rooms think is going on? And every once in a while, me stoned barking out ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Just laughing so hard while this movie is screaming at me.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:37] Okay, wait just to go back to it. That’s hilarious, Jason.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:44] 100%. Couldn’t turn it down.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:44] That that is so funny.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:12:46] At the end, I realized I could put my AirPods on and send it directly to my AirPods, and I did that for the last six minutes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:12:56] Well, that’s a pretty loud scene. That’s a pretty loud.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:12:58] So okay to go back to the black bathing suit, the black bikini, for a second. So there was a point. I was really and I also thought, what church is she going to in Beverly Hills?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:11] Yeah, the Episcopalian church.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:13:12] And because it’s also the way she was dressed not to shame a woman, ever. But I was like, that’s an interesting church outfit. It’s just interesting. It’s of note but I was like, maybe she goes to one of the Kardashian churches. You know, they go to specific church in Beverly Hills, Calabasas and when she put that black bathing suit on, I was like, oh, maybe those are his bottoms. Like, maybe there’s a world in which he’s putting on those bottoms and for some, and he’s purchasing like tops, but he’s wearing women’s bottoms.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:49] He is wearing the bikini bottoms as underwear? No.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:52] He is definitely wearing banana hammock.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:13:54] Like a Speedo.

 

Paul Scheer [00:13:54] He’s an he’s in a banana hammock style underwear. We’ve seen it a couple of times. It opens up in that black like I.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:01] This guy. Joe Samurai.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:04] But what I’m saying is their bottoms were way too similar for my comfort level.

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:09] I got what you’re saying. By the way. I want to say that I wish women would bring back that style of bikini.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:14] Oh, okay. Paul, I’m listening.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:16] Any other, any other requests?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:21] Like the super high cut? I’m listening, I guess.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:21] Any other requests for women, Paul?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:25] What else do you want from us?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:26] Let them own restaurants, let them fly helicopters. Let them do the things that women can do.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:35] When the lady cop turned to the weird like older cop and I was like, well, we don’t have to be anywhere you want to fuck.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:14:43] I was stunned.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:14:45] On what planet has this movie existed? Why is it playing so loud?

 

Paul Scheer [00:14:50] But also that comes on the heels, because I think at a certain point you’re like, at least I feel like, oh, they have a thing. Lady cop and samurai cop, I like this. And then the next scene after their sex scene, samurai cops. Like, yeah, so I was fucking this other woman and she’s like, hey, look, don’t worry, babe, you’re still good. And, she’s like, all right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:11] And then he proceeds to hit on every woman.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:15] He grabbed a woman by the hair.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:16] And is absolute garbage at it. I think the movie thinks he’s got some sort of Riz.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:25] That’s right.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:27] But he does not. And I love my favorite scene is when he’s flirting with the doctor, who immediately is like, yeah, you want to take me out? Yeah, you want to fuck me? And then she grabs his dick and is like, nah, too small. What, are you circumcised? Did they chop off too much? I was like, gulp, what?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:15:44] That scene I have, I have not stop thinking of it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:15:49] I assume he has every other scene after that. He has no dick as far as I’m concerned.

 

Paul Scheer [00:15:55] Well, let’s take a look at that scene. Just so we can refresh you memory. Scene 3.

 

Movie Audio [00:16:01] Not much sir.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:02] This guy is giving everything to the movie. Can we pause for one second? And just give an applause break for this cop? He. He’s doing next level stuff. In one scene, he’s like this. He leans on nothing. I was like, whoa.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:26] This is supposed to be a hospital. It looks like an actor’s waiting room. I’ve never seen a hospital where they line up 12 chairs down the hallway for you to wait.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:36] My favorite thing about this hospital, though, is that the patient they’re protecting has had, like, serious, serious.

 

Paul Scheer [00:16:43] Burns.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:16:44] Burns, third degree burns and is in, like, an intensive ICU level wound care situation. But right next to him is the dentist’s office.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:16:53] And like when they. And when they exit the hospital that they’re in, it’s very clearly an apartment building. It’s not a hospital at all.

 

Paul Scheer [00:17:05] Every location is five locations. I will also point out that before they go in to see the burn victim, who’s next to the dentist’s office, right in front of the waiting area is a cigaret machine. Oh, yeah. I don’t think that they would have a burn victim next to like they would keep them up on in a different area. And I will say this when we watch this scene and if you won’t be able to see it, if you’re just listening, just know that in the burn victims room, they have a nice like one of his shirt hung up on the wall, as if like, this man was on fire. Hey, clear that shirt. Burnt. But they’re like, well, we got to save his shirt. And so his shirt is hung up on the wall, which is great. Here you go. Take a look at what happens with the nurse. Oh, sorry. The doctor and, our Samurai Cop.

 

Movie Audio [00:17:55] Hello. Hi. How is he? You think he can answer a few questions?

 

Movie Audio [00:18:00] No way. His lips are burned.

 

Movie Audio [00:18:03] So what? He’ll never be able to talk again?

 

Movie Audio [00:18:05] Oh, he’ll talk again. But you just have to give him a couple of weeks. Do you like what you see?

 

Movie Audio [00:18:11] I love what I see.

 

Movie Audio [00:18:13] Would you like to touch what you see?

 

Movie Audio [00:18:17] Yes, yes I would.

 

Movie Audio [00:18:19] Would you like to go out with me?

 

Movie Audio [00:18:23] Yes, I would.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:18:24] Can you pause for one second? I’m so sorry. The partners reactions going forward, everybody. Everybody who’s. This movie is shot all in singles and everybody you can clear. They just running through like facial expressions like, do this, do that. Everything from now on is incredible.

 

Paul Scheer [00:18:42] It is truly like, I respect it and I’m uncomfortable by it. And I don’t know why I brought this comparison, but I will say, like what Michael Winslow does with sound in the Police Academy movies, he is doing purely with faces, and that’s probably the best way I can describe it. Here we go.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:05] Fuck me?

 

Movie Audio [00:19:13] Bingo.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:14] Well, then, let’s see what you’ve got. Doesn’t interest me. Nothing there.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:21] Nothing there? Just exactly what would interest you? Something the size of a jumbo jet?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:34] That’s  a take two camera.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:36] Yeah, I have. Why?

 

Movie Audio [00:19:37] Well your doctor must have cut a big portion of it off.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:40] No, he, he was a good doctor.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:43] Good doctors make mistakes, too. That’s why they buy insurance.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:47] Hey, don’t worry, I got enough. It’s big.

 

Movie Audio [00:19:53] I want bigger.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:19:58] Incredible. Incredible stuff.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:01] I will say this. You all read it like she was taking him down a peg. I read it like this is a woman who likes to fuck guys with big dicks and needs not packing enough for her, I feel like. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So she was into it until she felt his dick, which we have no coverage of. And. he has the reaction.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:20] It happens below. They frame out when there’s so much stuff that they just frame, like out just just to the waist. Yeah. And then they’re like, well, stuff’s going on under there. Like when the guy comes on and to this partner, they’re going to cut his dick off. They’re like, all right. And the guy reaches below frame with his knife and he’s like, you better tell us what we want to know. We’re going to cut this off. And it’s like just below frame.

 

Paul Scheer [00:20:44] But also when they do cut wide, he’s wearing underwear, black underwear. And he get and we start that scene with him getting out of the shower with a towel around his waist so they make off. It’s I just like the idea of.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:20:56] Put your underwear on first and then you dry off.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:20:59] Yes. And then you put a towel on.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:02] Just in case someone’s trying to cut your dick off.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:06] Here’s the thing about this woman. I. I had a different reading of it. I think she intended to humiliate him. I don’t think there was any size that she was going to be comfortable with. And I love her, and I don’t.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:22] I feel like I feel like it really frames Joe Samurai in a very different way, and all the subsequent sexual interaction.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:33] It is a really surprising scene.

 

Paul Scheer [00:21:35] And for you’re like third scene of the movie to to basically emasculate your lead character.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:43] Who you’ve said all already with the helicopter cop. Yeah. Is like getting women. Like he’s like a meant to be like a.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:52] That’s supposed to be his thing. Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:21:54] He’s supposed to be a Playboy.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:21:55] She’s the only one not interested and I want to know why.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:01] When I watch this movie, all I kept thinking was he envisions himself as Sylvester Stallone, but like, his life is actually this. He’s like, I’m pretty cool. Like, he carries himself.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:12] I think he things he’s Steven Seagal.

 

Paul Scheer [00:22:15] Oh.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:16] That’s where I feel like, and June, this is where I’d love your opinion, because I wrote here very early. We may need to start with wig talk because.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:25] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:27] I don’t know what’s up in this movie, but this hair some real nonsense.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:33] I know, and I’m so. I’m so worried about time I feel. Okay, so.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:40] I think he has the hair of every Charlie’s Angel over the course of the movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:22:47] So crazy. This is the opening shot.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:22:51] The baseball hat and the ponytail are exceptionally bizarre. I mean, that’s wild. This is the sexual lead of the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:04] And what makes it even weirder is he does have that hair for some of it. Like he has a real hair.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:11] He has hair. He doesn’t have that hair.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:16] Right. Not that hair.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:17] This is so much hair. And you know, I have found it. Honestly. First of all, I want to say I’m going to say something, but I want to preface it by saying no disrespect to the wonderful hair artists and wig artists who work in our industry. And they are what’s a beautiful, beautiful craft. But I can only imagine that the person who was responsible for doing this wig had never worked with a wig before.

 

Paul Scheer [00:23:48] Well, can I tell you what happened, June? I know this to be true. What happened was this actor thought the movie had wrapped and cut his hair.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:23:59] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:00] And then they called him in eight months later. So there’s not even reshoots. We have to finish the movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:06] Shoots. Just shoots.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:08] Shoots.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:08] We’ve got shoots.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:10] And the director flipped out. He’s like, you cut your hair? He goes, yeah, well, the movie’s over. He’s like, no, it’s not.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:16] And how much was left? Because he’s wearing that wig for, I’m going to say 85% of the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:21] Like over 60%. And so the director grabbed him by the hand, put him in a car, stopped at the first wig shop, grabbed the first wig they saw off a mannequin, said, that’s your hair now. And that was it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:36] You can’t tell that. You absolutely can. It’s terrible.

 

Paul Scheer [00:24:43] I mean, there’s a fight scene. Scene six here where his wig comes off and on. Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:54] No way.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:55] So that’s real hair?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:57] Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:24:58] I mean, not that that’s real hair.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:24:59] Real, real.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:01] Incredible stuff. This guy sells the whole movie. This guy makes the whole movie work.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:09] He’s got the hair legs.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:10] So much just posturing. I love this. I loved it. I love the movie. Full stop. Oh, no. Oh, also. Can we pause for one second?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:20] Wait wait wait.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:22] Where did all the green go? They used that in a lush green environment. And now they are in some sort of desert scape.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:31] Every scene is. The scene is. Its inception. The world is changing around them at every moment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:38] And they match those shots with music changes. It’s so abrupt. It’s like different cut, different song work. Sorry. Go ahead.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:49] Oh, wig.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:50] There it was.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:53] All right. Wig. And now.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:25:59] Wig.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:25:59] Wig.

 

Paul Scheer [00:25:59] Wig. Real hair.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:01] Green. Green. Lush green. This is a whole other place. This is where railroad tracks are.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:15] Well, I mean, this is this movie. They opened this movie by showing you this villain as like the this is the big bad. And he has a house that overlooks a public basketball court.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:31] Everybody’s house, every crime Lord’s house is more depressing than the next. None of them are successful.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:26:38] The cop paid with tax dollars, has the nicest home in this movie. How does Joe Samurai have that house?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:26:46] Yes, the beach house. How does he have the beach house?

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:49] Well, he says he owns it. He owns it from month to month.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:26:54] That’s fine if he rents it, but even still.

 

Paul Scheer [00:26:57] But it seems like he was only there for a day. And I will say this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:00] And is that in San Diego? Is he commuting?

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:03] Well, I am. Maybe he took her all the way back to San Diego. It’s easier to.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:07] From church?

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:09] Beverly Hills to San Diego is a quicker trip than Beverly Hills to downtown. It’s true. You got to look it up. The. I will say that the other cop whose wife is brutally killed.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:19] The captain or whatever he is or. No, he’s not the captain.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:22] Not the captain, he’s just another street cop.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:24] They come into his house and he’s lifting like 5 pound weights.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:27] He’s lifting 5 pound weights while his wife is not watching TV in a recliner, not watching him.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:34] But also with her top completely open.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:36] Yeah. Well, no, that they they they they rip it open.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:27:39] Oh they do?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:27:40] They got full droogs on her.

 

Paul Scheer [00:27:42] But that house, if you look at all at anything in that house, it’s all karate magazines, framed karate magazines and a giant karate trophy in the living room. And this character doesn’t do karate. This character doesn’t. That is not part of his story. But everything. Like you’re waiting for him to, like. Well, you’ll do karate. And of course.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:04] I genuinely felt so bad for this guy because when they cut his wife’s throat. Okay, so the bad guy is is his name Robert Zadar?

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:13] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:13] Is that his name, Zadar? I know his last name is Zadar.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:15] Robert Zadar from Tango and Cash.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:18] Yes. I was like, I know we’ve seen him before. He is the bad guy enforcer of the the other samurai. Of course, this movie has two samurai in it and it is Robert Zadar and this fucking guy. When Robert says that he’s got a katana to the wife’s throat and he just slowly drags it, he’s just like, do do do do do do do do do. It’s so crazy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:28:44] The way that they chop off people’s heads in this movie. It’s like slicing deli meat. It’s even when they cut off that burn victims head.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:28:59] Why would you cut his head off in the hospital?

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:01] Easier.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:04] I don’t know. Here’s the weird thing. And maybe you notice this at 100% volume, Jason. But all of the deaths are so silent.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:12] Silent.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:13] Even the wife. Like the cop’s wife, when she’s getting her her throat slit, she doesn’t cry out. She doesn’t fight.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:23] She’s not going to give him the satisfaction of that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:25] There’s so much soft violence.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:27] And soft kisses.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:29] And soft, gentle kisses. But there is so many loud footsteps. They’re putting at 100% volume. Do yourself a favor. There is every time there’s, like a cop in the hospital. Like. Well, I don’t have to make you think we’re going to kill you now.

 

Paul Scheer [00:29:49] You know that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:51] I was like, what the fuck is this mix?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:29:52] By the way, I think this was a problem with the hotel TV. I feel like you’re blaming it on Apple TV that I gave you, and I don’t think it has anything to do with it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:29:59] No, the Apple TV is flawless. I think the Foley work on this movie is absolutely bananas.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:03] Well, here’s the thing. A lot of the actors wouldn’t come back to do their ADR lines, so the director just decided to disguise his voice and tone it up and tone it down.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:13] When the New York guys, when the gang of New York toughs arrive, they all speak like this. They speak like robots. When Pee-Wee Herman has a cameo in his Paging Mr. Herman Mr.. Like they’re all doing that voice.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:30] I do want to talk about San Diego for a second. And and the fact that this cop is from San Diego and is a samurai expert and an expert at.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:40] Trained in Japan.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:42] Trained in Japan, just living and working in San Diego.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:30:44] Speaks Japanese.

 

Paul Scheer [00:30:46] Japanese, but is confused on how to say Fujiyama. Hey you Mr. Fuji….

 

June Diane Raphael [00:30:53] It was just such an interesting choice because I’m like, I’ve never known any experts to come from San Diego. Like it doesn’t seem. And I don’t mean to be rude, I just don’t.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:04] By the way, June, you and I remember we met that FBI agent is a federal booty inspector in San Diego. He had that shirt on.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:14] And they just make such a big deal out of it. And yet it was so hard because I’m like, oh, I absolutely believe this guy is from San Diego. Like that’s.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:25] But then by default, then he cannot be good at his job. There’s no way he’s an. He’s like he is. If he is as good as he is, what’s he doing in San Diego?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:31:37] Why would he ever land there?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:38] He’s like, oh, he’s he just busted the Yakuza in in San Diego. He’s he’s on it. He knows everything that’s up.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:45] By the way, this yakuza is the dumbest organization of all time because the yakuza, they’re doing a drug deal.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:31:54] This is just the katana gang.

 

Paul Scheer [00:31:55] Oh, sorry. The katana gang. What’s katana short for? Japanese sword. It’s not, though. Anyway, I looked it up. The. When they’re doing this drug deal, this is the first scene that we kind of see. There’s a guy in a van. He may have the money or the drugs. I’m not quite sure. They’re meeting up with two other guys who are getting on a rental boat, not a regular boat. And it looks like they just went, like a block away from the Marina.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:27] A water block.

 

Paul Scheer [00:32:28] A water block. By boat to an area where they are so much more conspicuous because they’re the only people like they are.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:32:37] They’re basically to the helicopter. The helicopter should be able to see everything that’s going on. And she’s like, we lost them. And they’re like, we lost them too. And when you look at the morons who are perpetrating the drug deal in broad daylight, you’re like, this is insane. What then happens is a montage, a chase montage, the whole this whole montage of the drug deal. And then the chase incorporates every mode of transportation that exists currently in the world. Cars, choppers, boats, everything. And none of it makes sense.

 

Paul Scheer [00:33:12] It felt to me like an old like game that you would play in an arcade where it’s like, because it’s like, here’s a guy hope he’s hanging out of the van. Bang bang, bang, bang.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:33:22] What was amazing is because the movie is ADR’d. They’re they do a thing where they use lines over and over again. So in the this section, shoot, shoot him is one of them. Joe Samurai says it. That phrase shoot, shoot him over and over. They just they just plop it in over it. And then you got him. Yeah, I got him. They use that multiple times. It’s just cutting and pasting ADR’d lines just over shit.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:33:50] Did you think did you all think that the first time the lady cop in the helicopter and Joe Samurai met was in that scene? Because it seemed like they were meeting for the first time and exchanging some very, like, sexually charged.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:06] Keep it up and ready. You keep it warm. I’ll keep it warm and ready.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:11] All this stuff, that stuff is happening in that scene. But she is in a helicopter.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:17] Yeah. There at the end of the scene, at the end of the scene, he is outside of the car now. He’s not on the radio. He’s outside of the car. Him and his partner, they’ve done the chase, they’ve shot the guys, they’ve done all this stuff. And then he has a conversation with the woman in the helicopter. He has no method of communication. He’s not doing this. He’s.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:39] There’s no walkie-talkie. There’s no.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:42] He’s just saying things out.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:34:43] Talking to her.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:34:45] And she is responding in kind.

 

Paul Scheer [00:34:48] I felt for her in that helicopter because clearly they didn’t afford a helicopter that can fly. They had to shoot different scenes. I think a lot of those scenes were shot with that helicopter, either just on the ground and just tight on the window, and it could.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:03] What was so smart too is the very first scene. She’s like, I’m just landing. So all they did, all they had to shoot in the helicopter was this. Because and then like, oh, don’t land, take off again. And she’s like, okay.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:18] And in what world, in the middle of a bus would you be like, well, I’m landing. I thought that was the whole thing. They’re going on a bus. But anyway, they’re in that helicopter. And what I recognized and what I see in this movie the entire time is very hot locations. So she’s in this, she’s in this helicopter. Doors are closed, and everybody’s sweating right under the eyes. Yeah, right on the nose. It’s like I’m like guys, get a tissue. Everybody just needs.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:44] Pat everyone down.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:44] Everyone needs to be patted down.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:35:46] This movie is full of sweaty, sweaty people in a way that I was like, yeah, it looks hot.

 

Paul Scheer [00:35:52] I mean, they ran over. The good guys, ran over someone and didn’t even attempt to swerve.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:00] Listen, there was at the very end, Joe Samurai’s partner says to him before he almost kills this guy with a sword. He says, you’re a cop.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:13] Yeah.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:14] And I was screaming that the whole time. Oh, yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:19] The casual disregard for human life is shocking. When they they in the section where he’s like, shoot him, shoot him. You got him like it’s a video game. And then the bad guys throw the guy out the back of the van, which is what we’re talking about. The guy gets in the street and they don’t swerve to avoid him. They’ve run him over completely. Go go go. Gone.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:36] Yeah. No they kill him.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:37] And they cut back to him. Like.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:40] Because this movie is also A-Team rules. Everybody is like shot, but okay. Nobody seems to really die.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:36:48] I don’t know, I thought a lot of people die. I actually at a certain point was trying to calculate the loss of human life.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:36:55] Yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [00:36:55] Too many. I mean, a man’s head was cut off, and I just was dying to see it on a piano. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:01] We never. I was gonna see that. I never saw that. I feel like this movie is made by and aimed at amateur stuntmen. I feel like that’s what the movie seems to be. A series of amateur stuntman performance.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:19] Okay. This seems like a YouTube backyard wrestling style.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:37:25] It’s got a lot of WWE big wrestling energy.

 

Paul Scheer [00:37:27] There is a moment when that guy is on fire and I was like, whoa, they got a fire effect in this movie. And they’re like, and you could tell that the guy was like, oh, is scene over? He like, he’s like, he looks up totally fine and they cover everything but his head thing. When they go to put him out, it’s like, we’ll put out his body, not his flaming head. They’re terrible cops.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:01] The best cop in the movie is the captain. Is the guy who just every time they cut to this guy and he’s chewing someone out. I was like, give me this all day, every day.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:38:14] Shot all of his because he’s really only in one. He’s in one location. There’s one angle on him, and he’s standing at the desk or sitting at the desk screaming, you know, and that’s it. And I was like, oh, wow. He might have shot out all of his scenes in one day.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:38:28] I hope for him, I hope so, because he was electric to watch. I mean, I hope he wasn’t inconvenienced by a nasty film schedule.

 

Paul Scheer [00:38:37] I mean, what he did is the single best piece of acting I’ve ever seen. Where he goes, he’s like, Get the fuck out of here. And then he holds his finger and you’re like, oh, any minute they’re going to cut away from the scene. Beat, beat beat. He’s holding. Beat. It’s like, well I guess they’re not. And then he realizes I guess they’re not going to call cut. And he goes back in his chair, sits there, and he starts laughing to himself like crazy son of a bitch.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:09] It’s like the captain behind the captain on his left hand side is a pencil sharpener that lived in my house for my entire life.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:19] So evocative to me.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:20] I was like, whoa, I’m having a Madeline scenario where I was like, I am having a sense memory about that pencil sharpener.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:39:30] Me, too. It was so evocative. The other prop that we’re going to need to talk about is the lion.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:40] I really yes. I almost texted you, Paul, to say, can the lion head be the screensaver for the show?

 

Paul Scheer [00:39:49] That would have been great.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:39:50] Because the lion head, I wrote about it and I wrote this in. This is a real note I wrote in my notes. If you are in the room next to me, I apologize for the fact that my TV is stuck so loud, and also that I am laughing hysterically, and that I wrote that at the moment where the lion head was established because this blew my entire mind.

 

Paul Scheer [00:40:16] The lion head is framed so much in the shot that I was waiting for it to go, Welp, I would go out all day with him if I were you.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:27] I would say the lion gives the most human performance in the movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:32] Look at those eyes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:34] The lion. Is. The lion is so compelling.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:41] I was 1,000% more interested in the lion, more attracted.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:46] I wanted to know why.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:40:48] Than Joe samurai.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:40:49] I wanted to know why the lion? Where did the lion come from?

 

[00:40:52] But this director constantly does this. Like he is incapable of framing a shot where the actor is the center of it. Even that woman who checks out his dick, the the doctor. She is framed by a dentist office sign like you can’t take your eyes off the dentist like you are.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:11] Here’s what he does so well. And I really want to shine a light on this director for a second. I know we’re all having our laughs and we’re all having a good time.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:21] A little career spotlight.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:22] I do think that there are there moments in this film where, you know, like that woman outside the dentist office, that doctor, and what happened between the two of them. It forced me to ask so many questions of her, of myself. And this same thing happened to me with this lion where I was like, I think I understand her dad committed suicide.

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:46] Yeah. Oh, so beautifully handled, by the way.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:50] Alfonso. Okay, we the actor, do we have it? Do we have Alfonso?

 

Paul Scheer [00:41:55] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:41:55] Okay. As long as I know we have it. June, please continue.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:41:58] No, but I’m just saying there were choices made in this film.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:02] Well, here’s the thing that you might think like. Oh, they improvised a lot. The main actor of the film, Joe Samurai, said they were forbidden to change anything.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:12] Thank God, thank. Perfect.

 

Paul Scheer [00:42:15] And I love that about this movie because it is a complicated it’s a complicated relationship.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:21] Yes. And why this lion is here. And at a point I thought, is this lion her father?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:26] Oh, yeah. What’s this? Why why is this lion in the office of the restaurant?

 

Music [00:42:35] A seafood restaurant.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:42:36] It feels to me like the kind of thing that I did feel like. And this occurred to me in the scene with the drug deal where there’s the suitcases full of drugs or money. It felt to me like everything in the movie, the set decoration was all they like, emptied out like a Salvation Army. Everything. They took everything and were like, whatever is in here, it’s in the movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:42:59] Okay, because here’s my question about this. Lion is I don’t think that this is a piece that was meant to be mounted on a wall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:07] Where do you think it should be?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:08] Do you think it’s a mask?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:43:09] I don’t know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:13] One of our fans will be able to. Will someone recreate and send us this lion’s head? I will travel for some sort of arts and crafts type of thing.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:43:23] Not.It’s not like a replica of some sort of big game that you’d hunt and put on a wall.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:29] But that’s what that’s what it’s that’s what it’s aping. It is like a lion’s head on the wall. Like, I shot this on safari, but instead it’s yarn.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:38] I knitted this, I knitted this on safari. I knitted it by watching the Animal Planet.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:43:46] Forces me to ask so many questions. Did they redocorate after her father’s death?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:43:50] The lion is the most interesting actor in the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:43:54] I will say this. While you were questioning the lion, I was questioning that he walked out of her office, which seemingly was on the second floor and into a dance club. Yes, where they were maybe having dance night. I mean, he all of a sudden encounters men who I think are about to audition for Chippendales, and I’m like, what is this seafood restaurant?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:18] Like every cut? It seems to be a different location, like, again, that this office doesn’t look like it’s the office of the seafood restaurant. No, the dance, the discotheque that they walk, that he walks into afterwards. Also, he gets all the way to the guys where they put a gun against his head before he seems to notice that they’re even there. He’s a terrible cop. He’s bad at his job. He’s garbage as a flirt. This guy’s a real pile of dog shit.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:44:47] I genuinely wonder what he thinks his job is. Like. What he thinks that he’s supposed to be doing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:44:56] I’d like to know what he thinks sex and flirting is. Because this movie has a number of things and says a number of things, one of which is this idea about keeping it warm?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:09] I never want to hear that again.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:10] Numerous times, he says, I may stop by later, so.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:45:13] Keep it warm.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:15] He does this, keep it warm. At which point, I will be like, somebody arrest this man.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:21] We all know that old adage that women’s vaginas are bread boxes and guys dicks are loaves of bread, right? Keep it warm.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:28] Well, that’s the thing is, like, if you’re not prepared, like the vagina can get so cold.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:34] Keep it. Keep your legs together.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:36] Might come by later. So keep it warm. Yeah. I don’t want.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:38] To have one of those cold vaginas.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:40] You know, from a cold L.A. night.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:43] I love that this movie had a gang who brunches. And when we see that gang at brunch.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:45:51] Love it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:45:51] Which is one scene. Which is shot in at least seven different locations, one of them being the director’s office on the last day of shooting the movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:03] Is that right?

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:04] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:04] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:05] So we we watched. Let’s just watch for a second just to see that scene 4. The restaurant scene, see how many locations you can pick out and also pay attention to the sweat.

 

Movie Audio [00:46:18] Innocent until proven guilty. You have nothing on me.

 

Movie Audio [00:46:22] Oh, I got a lot of shit on you.

 

Movie Audio [00:46:27] I’ll sue you and the department for this insult to my client. I’ll file a case first thing in the morning.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:34] What room is he in?

 

Movie Audio [00:46:35] You still have 3 or 4 hours before the courthouse closes. Telling me son of a bitch is that we respect the Japanese in this country.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:46:45] Can we pause for one second? Just keep in mind he’s in a room with molding around the doors. Like, every single is a different location. Completely.

 

Paul Scheer [00:46:54] If it’s as if this one private dining room was all walls, there’s no way in or out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:00] And various styles of walls.

 

Movie Audio [00:47:05] Who are honest businessmen. And yeah, this is the land of opportunity for legitimate business, not for death merchants who distribute drugs.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:15] Why is he looking up there?

 

Movie Audio [00:47:16] Schools and on the streets. Now I’m telling these motherfuckers.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:21] He’s talking to seated people.

 

Movie Audio [00:47:24] To make their precious millions that they deposited in their secret Swiss bank accounts.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:29] What’s up there?

 

Movie Audio [00:47:29] Counselor. Before your lawsuit even gets.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:32] It’s cue cards, right?

 

Movie Audio [00:47:34] I’ll have their stinking bodies in garbage bags and shipping back to Japan for fertilizer. Got it?

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:40] Got it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:47:41] Got it, got it. I mean, that monologue is incredible.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:47:46] It is because I do think that that’s the movie’s attempt at giving us some backstory on why he does what he does, which I guess is for the children.

 

Paul Scheer [00:47:58] Yeah, I guess so, I guess. I guess this group has that. That one. One suitcase of cocaine is going out to all the kids of California.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:08] Well, that’s the problem with the movie is, like, the drug dealers are like the drug industry. The illegal drug industry is not doing well.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:16] I, I’m they I’m rooting for the drug dealers to succeed. Because compared to Joe Samurai, who lives in a mansion on the beach, they are living in shared hovels.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:48:28] Joe Samurai walks out of his living room, down a couple of rocks and is at the Pacific Ocean.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:35] Like the movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:36] And he has a pool.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:48:37] Yeah, the movie was made an egregious error. If you have that location, give it to the bad guys. That is a total bad guy lair.

 

Paul Scheer [00:48:46] No, the bad guy’s lair is a defender arcade machine with a Poland spring water bottle. Like it got like a bubbler next to it. Like that. I got creeped out of the oof. And then you have 3 bodyguards int there, like, oh, God. Why? Why would you even need three bodyguards?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:06] All of it. Upsetting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:07] And I’ll talk about this. They pour hot oil on the lady cop, and I kept on thinking, what is she making, french fries?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:19] Hang on. She is at the. She’s at the stove, right? She takes the thing, frying pan off the stove, goes to the freezer. She goes to the freezer, opens it, bends down to do I don’t know what.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:34] Cool it off?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:36] Comes back up and is back up at the thing.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:37] I was haunted by this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:40] Doing what? She also has a large bandage on her calf.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:44] I didn’t see that.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:45] Which I was unsettled by.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:47] I didn’t see.

 

Paul Scheer [00:49:48] That maybe Joe’s Samurai tried to put it in the wrong place.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:49:52] Right. Right here? Yeah. With his little dick?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:49:57] I really wonder. So when she went to the freezer, I was like, is she cooling off the oil? Like, did it get too hot? But that amount of oil. Just what was she doing with it? Latkes?

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:08] I mean, how does she? Sunday is latkes day.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:16] Frozen latkes. Of course, it’s the only thing that makes sense. She’s preparing frozen latkes.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:23] By the way, can we just talk about the timeline of that day? Our Our Lady gets out of church, let’s say, conservatively. She gets out of church at 10 a.m..

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:39] Oh, shit.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:41] That should be the shirt, Lady Cop Latkes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:50:45] Oh, my God, I love that.

 

Paul Scheer [00:50:49] Just her with a pan smiling. All right, so the timeline of Sunday, let’s say she gets out of church conservatively. 9:45, 10 a.m. early morning church. She’s just going.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:51:04] 7:30 mass?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:05] Keep in mind, the night before was her birthday.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:09] No, no, today it’s a birthday.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:11] No, today is their birthday. I know he makes her the cake, but I thought the night before that Sunday is when he asked her for Saturday night. Didn’t she say it’s my birthday?

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:18] She said Sunday, Sundays, her birthday.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:51:20] I see I’m a mistake. I’m so sorry, San Francisco.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:24] But I was upset that he didn’t say happy birthday when he first saw her, so right, so say she gets out at 10 a.m.. Then they drive to his house. So now it’s about 11. They have a nice dinner at about noon, so about noon. Then they go to the beach, which probably is close by, sorry. By there they get at the end the swimsuit. They go down to the beach. They gingerly walk over rocks. Say it’s been about an hour there. They figure we’re done with the ocean. Let’s go to the pool. They go to the pool at about.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:51:53] And they have fun in that pool. And you know, I appreciate adults having fun in a pool setting.

 

Paul Scheer [00:51:59] I liked her, I really.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:00] I loved her.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:01] I did too.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:02] She was the best actress.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:03] When she went to go dive off that board and did a funny, you know, jump in.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:08] I can’t find a thing about her anywhere. She does not exist online.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:14] She was disappeared after this movie.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:16] They brought back her character, but not the actress in the sequel.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:20] What do you mean?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:20] There’s a sequel?

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:21] There is a, a, a Go Fund Me sequel that came out in, a couple of years ago.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:27] Oh, a recent sequel?

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:28] Yes. 2015.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:32] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:33] Samurai Cop 2.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:34] Blink blink blink what?

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:37] But I think it’s like Birdemic 2. Like they’re in on the joke.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:40] They get it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:52:40] Okay. Yeah. So it’s not that good. You’re going to get your mind blown when I tell you some other details about what’s happened since the end of this movie, but she disappeared. You can’t find a picture of her. This is the only credit she has on IMDb.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:52:54] She was great.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:52:55] She’s amazing. She’s really good. But again, timeline. So then they come back for birthday cake. It’s like three. I’m now I’m really rushing the day, and, then they have sex and and let’s say that’s five minutes, right?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:12] Bright sunlight.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:13] It’s so slow. It’s so slow and tender. It’s lots of, like, delicate butterfly kisses like down her body. I was like, I don’t know what’s up.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:53:24] I felt like I was watching him just lying in bed sideways, kissing the entire movie. And it was very distressing.

 

Paul Scheer [00:53:37] I felt like he also had a hover hand over every woman’s ass, which I appreciated as being kind to you, as performing as someone, but it also felt like he wasn’t fully comfortable to be grabbing ass. It was like, there’s this like, it’s here. Yeah, it’s here, but it’s it’s not going to.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:53:57] There’s also a crazy shot that is like they’re moving and it moves. The camera goes in like almost into her ass. Right? It goes like it’s close up close. It’s extreme close up on her ass. Then it reverses and it’s on his ass while he carries her to the bed. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And, you know, the director was like, I know exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to match, cut these do asses, and everybody’s going to cream.

 

Paul Scheer [00:54:24] When her ass when her ass comes into frame. No camera should be that close. It was fine, but it was like, is it still coming in the frame? It’s still coming. It felt like I was watching a car accident. No no no no, it’s going to come. It’s coming too close. It’s coming too close. Like it was just like the ass filled the frame.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:54:42] There’s a lot of shots in this movie that I was like, oh, this scene, this shot rather worked up until this moment. Now it’s either too blurry too much. Why didn’t they edit prior to this? Why are they they’re going to the, case and point when the wig comes off and then goes back on. Why include that? Why not edit just before that mistake happens?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:55:04] Yeah. And why not take that wig like what I would give to have had some time with that wig. And I’m not a wig crafts person, but like, I would, I feel I could do something, I could cut into it, I could take out. That wig. They needed to take out roughly 85% of the hair.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:24] Yeah. Oh, yeah. It’s too it’s too much. It looked like Malignant. It looks like there’s so much hair that it’s trying to cover up a face on the back.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:38] Maybe. There’s a good cop on the back of him. He’s the cop that is coming out. And that’s why we don’t see him at night. Before we go to the crowd to take some questions. Get your questions ready.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:47] Oh my god. But I’ve so many other notes. Looks like this is his last fuck.

 

Paul Scheer [00:55:53] And they go let him finish. It’s like nope. And then he wrestles with the sliding glass door.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:55:59] Oh, yeah. Why not just shoot him through the door. He’s like, hey, get out of there.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:07] Sliding glass doors. If they’re not open, it’s a real embarrassment.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:56:10] I mean, this they the movie is, I think, mocking his impending rage. He can’t he can’t even get through the door. This guy’s dick doesn’t work so much.

 

Paul Scheer [00:56:23] Okay, we’ll play this scene. I’ll go out into the audience. Scene five, and you’ll know what it is.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:30] Her name is Jennifer.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:33] Boss. You mean she owns this place?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:36] Her mother owns it.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:38] Where’s her father?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:39] Bang.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:41] Killed? Who shot him?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:42] He.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:43] Who?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:44] Him.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:45] Who’s him?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:46] He fell.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:47] Oh, he committed suicide?

 

Movie Audio [00:56:48] Yeah.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:51] Listen, when you see Jennifer alone, tell her. Tell her. I think she’s very lovely.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:58] I’ll do that.

 

Movie Audio [00:56:59] Tell her. Tell her the.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:01] Same hair.

 

Movie Audio [00:57:02] Good. I’ll help you.

 

Movie Audio [00:57:04] Oh, yeah?

 

Movie Audio [00:57:05] Yeah. I like cops. My pops is a cop.

 

Movie Audio [00:57:10] Oh, really? Where?

 

Movie Audio [00:57:12] In Costa Rica.

 

Movie Audio [00:57:14] Oh. Good. What’s your name?

 

Movie Audio [00:57:18] Alfonso el Federico Sebastian. This is my first name.

 

Movie Audio [00:57:24] What’s your last name?

 

Movie Audio [00:57:26] Oh, that’s all right. We just need your first name. Okay, bye.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:29] I have a theory on this.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:32] Is it give this guy an Oscar? Then I mean, I am in agreement.

 

Paul Scheer [00:57:38] I didn’t realize it the first time I saw it, because I was enjoying it so much. This is a rip on Bronson Pinto in Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, yeah. They’re like, oh, we need our crazy. Oh, don’t be ridiculous axe man.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:57:53] It’s also got some real like who’s on first element to it, where there’s a lot of confused confusion amongst what’s being like, what the details are.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:03] But here’s the thing about this performance. It’s realized. Yeah. After seeing this, I was like, dude, like, take more risks. Yeah.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:12] Like I’m gonna whenever I will say whenever I’m on set. From now on, whenever I’m on set, I’m going to think, what would Alfonso do with this?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:58:21] Truly.

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:22] He bang! Himself.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:24] He bang himself.

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:25] I mean, he bang himself is the best way to talk about suicide. It it takes some stigma off of it. Yeah. Todd, he banged himself.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:58:46] Is that what the Ricky Martin song is about?

 

Paul Scheer [00:58:50] All right, let’s go to the crowd. Let’s see what questions you have about Samurai Cop. Hey! Come on. All right. Here we go. Hi. How are you? Have a notebook. Hi. All right, so what’s your name and your question?

 

Audience Member [00:59:01] Shehan. The question was, did you guys read the Wikipedia page where they were talking about, the fact that the actors were purposefully ruin ruining scenes?

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:11] This is what I think is revisionist history, right? Like, the actor was like, well, I made myself be a terrible actor because he said, oh, I thought the dialog was so bad. I would do a terrible line read of it.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:23] No, I don’t believe it.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:25] That’s like Tommy Wiseau going The Room was a comedy.

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:26] I don’t believe it for a second.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:27] I don’t think so. And the answer is no I didn’t read the Wikipedia page.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:32] I did, I did.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:33] I don’t prepare, unless it can be screamed at me from the TV. I am not reading.

 

Paul Scheer [00:59:42] Okay. Yes. Your name, your question.

 

Audience Member [00:59:44] Hi, my name is Erica and I was wondering if you could speak to, Joe Samurai actor’s history as a Sylvester Stallone bodyguard and then a perpetrator of an art burglary?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [00:59:59] What?

 

June Diane Raphael [00:59:59] What?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:00] Okay, so. I was about to bring up the art burglary.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:04] What?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:05] I will bring, I will bring up because I have my notes about. Yes, Joe samurai served prison time for being a part of an art robbery in Beverly Hills.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:17] After this movie?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:18] After this movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:19] Was it the art gallery in Beverly Hills Cop 1?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:25] And Bronson Pincho was there. No. But yes. So he was a part of an I believe and I my notes are up there, but, a group of stuntmen who.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:34] See?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:35] The stunt coordinator from this movie put together a group of stunt people to rob a painting.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:43] By the way, it. Fuck yeah. Home run idea.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:46] Wow. Where’s that movie? Wait. Hold on.

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:48] I know, I actually was like, this is a great movie idea.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:00:51] It really is.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:00:53] And they were. What painting was it?

 

Paul Scheer [01:00:55] I have, I have it up there. I’ll tell you more about it, but it is. It is a. He went to jail for quite a long period of time. Missed out on the success of this film because. Or the cult success of this film, because he was in jail, and then got out. But many people thought he was dead.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:01:14] Because he was in jail?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:15] Is there any way that our lead actress, his love interest, is in jail?

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:22] No, because he’s been interviewed extensively. I don’t know if anyone has any information about her. Please let me know. But I don’t know about her.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:31] And also call the authorities.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:34] But he. He. Now, I didn’t know about the Sylvester Stallone thing. What’s the Sylvester Stallone thing?

 

Audience Member [01:01:40] So supposedly, since he was a bodyguard for Sylvester Stallone, that’s how he got into acting. And then how he got a taste for the rich life and why he decided to steal the painting.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:01:52] Wait, so he stole. Okay, wait.

 

Paul Scheer [01:01:54] He stole the painting to get some money because he was already living this 1% lifestyle.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:00] As a bodyguard?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:02] Being Sly’s bodyguard gave him access to that kind of life. And he then wanted more.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:07] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:07] I’m surprised he didn’t steal one of Sly’s paintings.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:10] If you are in costume, I do come to you. And we do have a samurai cop right here. Stand up. Show everybody your samurai cop. Wig.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:02:18] Wow.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:18] Everything perfect. Okay. Great costume. Everything down to, and with a samurai sword or part of it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:26] Oh, Paul, back away.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:28] He doesn’t have the full thing. All right. Do you have a question?

 

Audience Member [01:02:31] I do, my name is Mike. So my question really is knowing that you’re going to tell us in a few minutes how the budget.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:39] I don’t know if I will have the answers.

 

Audience Member [01:02:41] It’s $5,000.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:43] And that that was it?

 

Audience Member [01:02:45] They spent $5,000 on this movie.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:02:46] Did you make this movie?

 

Audience Member [01:02:49] $5,000 on this.

 

Paul Scheer [01:02:50] That’s in 91. So that’s like 12,000 now.

 

Audience Member [01:02:53] So my big question is, did everybody on set know that they were making a turd burger? Or did they think that they were making the next Lethal Weapon?

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:03] You know, I think that like with all these movies, people don’t set out. They don’t know what’s going on. I think retroactively people say different things. But I think a lot of the times you’re working on these things, right? Maybe.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:13] Oh, aI think it would be exciting. I think you’re, I’m sure a lot of these people were very excited to be in a movie that was happening. Like, that’s I mean, that’s got to be wild and exciting to see it finally happening. But at some point where they like, wait a minute?

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:29] All right. Hi. Your name and your question.

 

Audience Member [01:03:31] Hi. My name is Chris. So at the scene where they were going to cut that gentlemen’s business off, did anybody notice that the switchblade was a comb?

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:45] What?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:45] Really?

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:47] Oh, my God.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:03:48] I believe it. I love it. I love it. And they just, like, combed his pubes.

 

Paul Scheer [01:03:56] Well, imagine how long it would take to cut off someone’s dick with a comb.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:00] Oh, yeah.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:01] Very painful.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:02] Break a lot of those teeth.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:05] Your name, your question.

 

Audience Member [01:04:06] My name is Andrew. If they had double the budget, what do you think the director would change or do? Or what would you want them to do?

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:16] Double the budget.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:18] I mean, I think and.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:19] So we’re talking about $10,000?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:22] This is not. Yeah. This is not a hilarious answer, but it’s very clear in the movie that they were not able to record sound during the filming of the movie, because the whole movie is ADR’d and Foley like, top to bottom. So I think they probably, maybe would have wanted sound. They would have been able, have the ability to capture sound on the day must have been something they were disappointed to not be able to do.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:51] I would say.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:04:54] Like a movie from the 30s.

 

Paul Scheer [01:04:57] I would say buy more props because clearly the guns are being reused, which is why every villain can only be in frame one at a time.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:08] But Paul, you run the risk of losing the lion’s head. You run the risk of losing some iconic things if they’re. If you can have real props.

 

Paul Scheer [01:05:18] I’m saying just guns. More guns. You can at least have two henchmen fighting someone. It seems like every like, I die. Then you take my gun and then you run into the next scene like it was a gun baton. Like they’re passing the baton from scene to scene. June for $10,000?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:05:37] Okay. With that extra five grand, I think I would. I think I would equally disperse it between all of the actresses who had to do all the slow kissing with the men in the movie and just give them pay bumps. That just feels like the right thing to do.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:05:58] All right. So you would have increased the kissing budget?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:01] I guess so. Well, if I were to say it. Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:04] Would you be charging per kiss?

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:07] Oh, God, those kisses. And you can only imagine if that’s the length of kisses that were on screen. How long did they shoot those kisses for?

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:06:17] And the kisses were slow. They were like. That’s what it’s like. Now I know everybody in here is drenched right now because I did that. And they’re gonna have to mop up the Masonic auditorium because the floors in here don’t have sawdust on them, even though I said it’s gonna get gushy.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:42] We say keep it warm, not keep it wet.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:06:45] Keep it warm.

 

Paul Scheer [01:06:47] Okay. Obviously, we’ll hear more about the making of this movie in just a little bit. But now it is time to hear about people who love this movie, which we do. It is now time for second opinions.

 

Audience Member [01:07:00] This is a song for the lady cops. But samurai, listen close. You don’t fuck with Robert Zadar. That’s the first samurai rule that you learn. Keep a couple extra wigs in your car and wait to buy Merlin the Return. And when you choose which to bed, the horny cop, porno doc or big Red, you pick the one that gives that good lion hair. And slip into matching swimwear. Instead of doing church on Sunday, master a blank stare. That’s your four plays. Bingo. I gave it five stars!

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:04] Wow. What is your name, sir? What’s your name? What’s your name?

 

Audience Member [01:08:11] My name’s Jed, like Jedi without the I. This is fucking awesome!

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:15] Yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:16] Give it up for Jed.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:18] Give it up for Jed.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:19] Who gives it five Zadars? Incredible work.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:24] I gotta say.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:08:24] Get him out of here. Get him out of here.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:27] I got to say, I was bummed. I got a fuck yea Jason, a fuck yeah June. I didn’t get a fuck yeah Paul.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:08:33] Nothing for you, babe.That was amazing.

 

Paul Scheer [01:08:36] Thank you, sir. All right, so here we go. These are five star reviews culled from Amazon. There are 666 total reviews. Sign of the devil and the sign of a great film. 84% of five star. 2% are one star. And it goes something like this Peter O’Brien, titles his review. “Keep it warm, captain.” “Frank was the man. He had a gift. He had a vest. He had lines. He delivered. He survived. In some ways, this was a progressive movie. A woman copilot in a helicopter. A woman owned a restaurant. Some women even got a name. The fourth sex scene does end eventually. Five stars.”

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:31] Wait, I didn’t think she was. Gosh, maybe. Maybe I have to interrogate my own reading of this movie because I didn’t think she was piloting that helicopter.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:44] Felt like she was a part of the copilot.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:47] I thought she was just saying, like, it’s time to land here, and we got to go there.

 

Paul Scheer [01:09:51] So she’s, like, conducting the helicopter. She’s like the boss.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:09:56] I think I thought she was a passenger.

 

Paul Scheer [01:10:01] Charles Kopowski, titles his review “63% samurai, 48% cop” and his review is “I made the bold claim that I’d have to give this movie five stars if it had a ritualistic suicide in it. Here I am, five stars.” I don’t know what this is but I’m going to end on this one from Kevin, written in 2017. The title is “five stars.” The review goes like this. “Best ramen ever. Konnichiwa. This movie is cinnamon. Five stars.” Obviously people love this movie. I have some conflicting information that the budget was actually $7,000. But here is what I have found, here about the the painting. So the painting was. Okay. Hold on. Let me find it right here. So. Okay. Okay. So the lead actor was unable to get any substantial roles after Samurai Cop and withdrew from the entertainment industry for two decades in 1992.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:11:29] Even that framing like I withdrew is. I think he was escorted out.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:37] Yes.

 

Paul Scheer [01:11:38] So in 1992, he took part in an armed robbery, stealing a Rembrandt painting from  Televangelist Jean Scott’s University Cathedral in Los Angeles. The painting was found in the home of Kourosh Jadali. A stunt coordinator who worked on the set of Samurai Cop. The samurai cop was arrested and sent to prison. He was largely unaware of the cult status that samurai cop had obtained over the preceding years. And so that was what happened. That was.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:12:09] Imagine if you went to the house of the stunt coordinator from Samurai Cop and he was like, have you seen my Rembrandt? It’s a Rembrandt.

 

Paul Scheer [01:12:30] The actor, the samurai cop actor. He’s been doing a lot of press. You can watch plenty of interviews with him. He did say upon walking into the director’s office for the first time, he was told he was perfect and handed the full script. Despite the film being titled Samurai Cop, he had no experience with weapons, and all of his formal practice would be classified as MMA. As a result, his lack of experience, and Sherman’s inability to direct any of the combat scenes, that meant that everyone choreographed them quickly, 15 minutes before every scene was shot.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:13:02] That’s, I will say, not surprising at all, because many of the fight scenes are so, so, so long and nothing happens. There’s just a lot of like, you’re pushing, pushing these a lot of like contact, but then just movement based on the contact.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:19] Yeah. It really is a bizarre film to also cast somebody as a samurai cop who doesn’t really do any sort of, karate at all. And then every shot in the movie was done with a single take to conserve as much film as possible. This movie was shot on film. So the bloopers, flubbed lines, and mistakes are all left in the final cut.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:13:41] Also, knowing that all of these actors got one take, I’m even more impressed with a lot of them.

 

Paul Scheer [01:13:50] The tagline of this movie was great. “You have the right to remain silent, dead silent.”

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:00] I would have loved it if someone had said that.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:03] The movie did come out in 91, which is the same year Terminator 2, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves and Home Alone came out. So there we go. That did not break the top 200. The gross is $384,000. I don’t know where they got that from, but that is the gross of this movie. And it was found in a vault in China.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:24] What?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:25] Yeah, that’s the thing.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:26] With the Covid 19 virus?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:29] I think when they opened the vault, that’s when it got out.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:33] Are you saying the virus is part of the marketing campaign for this movie?

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:37] I mean, that’s what happened.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:14:39] It’s what you got to do now to get a movie out there. You know.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:14:43] This movie was found in Wuhan? In a wet market.

 

Paul Scheer [01:14:48] Gregory Hananaka, who is the founder of Cinema Epoch, had a vault and one of his employees is going around, and they found it. That’s it. They found it. And that was, you know, so that was, a little while ago, I guess, when they rereleased this movie on Blu-ray.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:09] There are so many montages and action sequences in this movie that use the exact same backing track as the the soundtrack to those things. And I became truly, like, obsessed with it. I was like, this is the best music I want.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:26] Video game music.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:28] It was also it was it was hitting me so hard.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:15:32] It was on your insides.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:33] Of the out of the speakers, on the TV. It was assaultive in every way, but I genuinely started to be like, I think I might want to come out to this music for the rest of time, to the show. I want the I want the samurai cop music to play when you introduce me.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:48] I love it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:15:49] Because it’s so propulsive and exciting. I was like, I love this.

 

Paul Scheer [01:15:52] I mean it really. This is a perfect film. Would you recommend it? I guess is the next question.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:15:56] You know what? Yes, yes yes I, I yes.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:00] I would.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:16:01] I said, you know what Jason said this before when he came out, when, when you two were talking in the introduction, like it’s so shocking that we haven’t covered as journalists this movie before because it’s so iconic that, it was it does make me feel like, oh, wow, I guess we will be doing this forever. I guess this is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:27] Like, if things like this are possible, we’re fucked.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:16:29] Our sentence is so much longer than I thought. We have to keep doing this. It was shocking. It was shocking to know that something this good was out there that we had never seen. I mean, I enjoyed it.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:42] I would put this in the, in a very in rarefied category, which is I think we should do it again. I would I feel like I feel like we will get more out of this movie.

 

June Diane Raphael [01:16:55] That’s interesting.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:16:56] On a second watch in two years. When of course we will all be dead.

 

Paul Scheer [01:17:03] I also recommend this movie highly. I will tell you that Samurai Cop two Deadly Vengeance, also titled Revenge of Samurai Cop, is a 2015 American action film directed and co-written by Gregory Hatanaka. It’s a sequel to the cult film Samurai Cop. It stars. We got our two cops back. Okay. We got all the original roles back with Beling. Caden Cross. Tommy Wiseau. Lexi Belle. Joe Estavez and Mindy Robinson. And it is.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:17:38] Not Robertson. Cause Robertson passed away?

 

Paul Scheer [01:17:40] Yes. Yes, he has passed away. And this takes place. Basically, Joe is going to settle down in LA with his girlfriend when suddenly, she’s murdered. Then 25 years passed, and shit goes down.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:17:54] Well, here. But you said earlier that it feels like they’re in on the joke by this point, so that I don’t necessarily want to do the sequel. I like I guess this feels pure in a way, but you said something earlier that I think I didn’t realize upon watching. Was this not released in 91? Was this released much later in a Miami Connection style?

 

Paul Scheer [01:18:13] I think it was released in 91 and then lost, and then it was refound and recherished.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:18:18] So it hasn’t been like playing on basic cable for long?

 

Paul Scheer [01:18:21] No.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:18:21] Okay. Got it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:18:22] But this sequel does look insane. Okay, so, San Francisco, it’s been fantastic being here once again.

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:18:29] We did it.

 

Paul Scheer [01:18:30] Thank you for coming. We’ll be back, San Francisco, thanks for being the the great crowd. Good night!

 

Jason Mantzoukas [01:18:35] Eat shit, San Francisco!

 

Paul Scheer [01:18:37] Thank you so much to the staff at the Masonic, our amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas, and our recording engineer, Michael De. If you want the t shirt we created for this episode, which is pretty great. It’s Lady Cop Latkes. Keep them warm. Go to Teepublic.com/store/HDTGM. My book, Joyful Recollections of Trauma is coming out very soon. Please preorder it now. It actually makes a giant difference. I beg of, you know, I appreciate everyone who’s preordered. You can go to my website if you have preordered and get access to my super secret scrapbook, where I am posting a bunch of extra things for the people that have come up and shown up for me. I will be reading the audiobook. The audiobook comes out on the same day with a ton of extra special features. And here’s the best part, no matter where you live in the world, I am doing a worldwide signing. That’s right, go to Premier Collectibles and you can get, relatively cheap ticket to go see, a live show, Q&A. And I’ll sign books virtually for only 35 bucks. And the book retails for $29. So that’s, you know, $4 more, I don’t know. Here’s the thing, people. I’m on a tour. You can see me and Jason doing improv in Portland and Seattle. You can see June and Joel Kim Booster meeting each other for the first time in L.A. at Chevalier Books. You can see Adam Pally and I in Chicago talking about my book and doing a fun show at The Den on May 29th. You can also see me in Brooklyn, and you can see me at the Strand in New York City with Busy Philipps. So much fun stuff coming up for the book tour. I’d love to see you all out there. I’ve kept the prices down as much as I can. Some are free, some are not. But it’s going to be fun. I will sign whatever you have. Well, primarily my book by my book, and then we’ll talk about what I’ll sign anyway. Go to my website, PaulScheer.com to find out, where you can sign up for these events or buy tickets for them, whatever. You know how it works. Anyway, if you have a correction or omission from this episode, leave me a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK or write a comment in our discord at discord.gg/HDTGM, and then make sure you tune in next week to our Last Looks episode as we talk more about Samurai Cop and I respond to your messages. Also next week on Last Looks, we’ll be talking to Todd Glass. He’s gonna chat with us, a little bit about his new project. Remember, you can find us on social media everywhere @HDTGM. And if you love the show, tell your friends to listen too. Word of mouth helps. And last but not least, I got to say thank you to all the listeners who support the show every week and our entire team to whom the show could not be done without. I’m talking about our producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, our movie picking producer, Avril Halley, our engineer Cassie Holford, and our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. That’s all I got. We’ll see you next week on Last Looks. Until then. Bye for now.