EP. 230 — The Final Boys

2 SpookyBetsy [00:00:11] We’e boo-ck.

Mano [00:00:14] Have you been hunting for horro?

Betsy [00:00:16] Boning for booze?

Mano [00:00:19] Tingling for terror?

Betsy [00:00:22] Slutty for slashers?

Mano [00:00:24] Freaky for fright?

Betsy [00:00:25] So have we! That’s why we’re bringing that classic, stupid love of all things horror. Because evil never dies.

Mano [00:00:34] It simply rests. Waiting for the right moment to exact revenge.

Betsy [00:00:39] Reawke.

Mano [00:00:41] And show everyone its honking zombie boner.

Betsy [00:00:45] That’s right, you spooky slobs.

Mano [00:00:47] This is 2 Spooky 2 Handle.

Betsy [00:00:51] Yes. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to 2 Spooky 2 Handle. We’re your host, Betsy and Mano.

Mano [00:00:58] And this is a special show for the month of October that gets you all spooky and horny for the Halloween. We’re in the final week. And my God, we’ve been truly torturing the lovely people at Earwolf because, my God, the number of employees that have gone missing since we unleashed that haunted doll on the studios is staggering and horrifying.

Betsy [00:01:23] It’s truly crazy. And Mano, I told you, we’re the the problem. We started it. We have the blood, the blood is on our hands.

Mano [00:01:31] Earwolf is letting us know that to end the curse, we must pick up the doll apparently.

Betsy [00:01:38] I’m not going to.

Mano [00:01:39] We keep replying lol every time they’re screaming bloody murder in audio messages. And we are, we just say lmfao.

Betsy [00:01:49] LMFAO. Ha ha ha ha.

Mano [00:01:51] Yeah. We’re not taking it home.

Betsy [00:01:53] Party rockin’ in the house tonight.

Mano [00:01:55] But luckily our producer, Anita, our lovely producer, Anita, has agreed to take it home.

Anita [00:02:03] Wow. I can’t believe it. I did not expect to be receiving Ginger the haunted doll. This is the first time I’ve accepted a haunted doll, so thank you so much, Betsy and Mano. And I look forward to being potentially possessed by Ginger. I can’t wait to see what happens. Thank you.

Mano [00:02:22] I think this is a mistake.

Betsy [00:02:24] That’s nuts! I think it’s a huge mistake.

Mano [00:02:27] Huge. Big!

Betsy [00:02:28] Also Anita lives in NYC and I think the doll is like, yes, let me bring down one of the biggest cities in the world.

Mano [00:02:35] Totally. And I think Anita might have a really fun working girl on her hands. You know? What if haunted doll becomes a working girl and works her way to the top of a corporation, that could be fun.

Betsy [00:02:46] And breaks a glass ceiling?

Mano [00:02:47] Breaks a glass ceiling.

Betsy [00:02:49] I mean, you know what then I’m rooting for her. I’m rootin’ for that doll, if that’s her goal, to get in the corporate world and shatter that glass ceiling.

Mano [00:02:59] And remember, you can see her shatter that glass ceiling on Instagram and Twitter @Earwolf.

Betsy [00:03:04] Yes, that’s right. That’s right.

Mano [00:03:12] Where are they now?

Betsy [00:03:15] Where are they now? Where are they now?

Mano [00:03:17] Where are they now? Where are they now? Where where?

Betsy [00:03:19] Where are they now? Where are they now?

Mano [00:03:22] Yeah, it’s the segment where we catch up with our favorite monsters and see what the heck day been up to.

Betsy [00:03:28] Yeah, yeah. Like, what, what do we think the Killer Clowns are doing right now?

Mano [00:03:34] Oh boy.

Betsy [00:03:34] You think they’re taking over another planet somewhere far, far, far away?

Mano [00:03:39] I hope so. I hope I hope they’re spreading their gift of entertainment through the galaxy. And then if they’re taking a break from it, I hope that they’re catching up on Game of Thrones because they’ve been meaning to get through it.

Betsy [00:03:53] Oh yeah.

Mano [00:03:53] They’ve been trying to get through it.

Betsy [00:03:55] They’ve been really trying to get through it. But hey, if they’re like me, they realized it sucks. No, people love it. People love it. I tried, I tried. I just don’t like seeing people getting hard all the time.

Mano [00:04:11] There’s a lot of that and that’s unfortunate.

Betsy [00:04:14] That’s not a fun world. That’s not a fun world to sit in. But people love it. People love that world, Mano loves that world.

Mano [00:04:23] Yeah, we’re normal. We just like worlds where people get ripped limb from limb. Where normal.

Betsy [00:04:28] Yeah.

Mano [00:04:29] Yeah.

Betsy [00:04:30] That’s way better.

Mano [00:04:31] Well, let’s see what these dumb idiots are up to.

Betsy [00:04:34] Let’s see.

Oscar Montoya [00:04:38] Hey, Mano. Hey, Betsy. Hey honey. It’s me, Ray Ray, reporting live from our YouTube channel somewhere in the South. Also, as you know, I am the dark servant of the Lord himself. So, you know, I’m wearing my beautiful black Satan robes and I’m here with the one, the most iconic Baby Oopsie. Now, I know you can’t see us because, you know, you got this thing called a podcast. I need to get in on that. But anyway, I just want to say that a lot has happened since Baby Oopsie and myself has caused mischief and mayhem all over the South, which I’m assuming I’m from. And just want to say that we are living healthy and happy lives and that our YouTube page just hit 15 followers. Can you believe it? 15 subscribers to our YouTube page. And if you haven’t done so, Mano, Betsy, you better follow me or I’ll kill your asses. Sorry, I just had a chili dog and my gas is a beast. Anyway. Just want to send my love and Baby Oopsie sends her love to. We love you both and thank you so much from the bottom of my broken black heart that you are causing as much mischief and mayhem as myelf, Ray Ray. Anyway, I love you, honeys, and I’ll see you soon. Bye.

Mano [00:06:16] You know, she’s a final girl to me. That, I will say the lovely Ginger.

Betsy [00:06:21] Whay? Ginger. The final girl.

Mano [00:06:22] Ginger is kind of a final girl.

Betsy [00:06:24] What? How? Tell me how, Mano.

Mano [00:06:27] She’s the last one. Because she made it out. She made it out. Of her doll.

Betsy [00:06:32] From what though?

Mano [00:06:32] Of her doll world. She was stuck in a by, another body. She made it to doll world. She’s, like, on her own journey, if you ask me.

Betsy [00:06:39] Wow.

Mano [00:06:41] That’s what I think. But you don’t think Ginger is the final girl?

Betsy [00:06:44] No.

Mano [00:06:45] You think she’s just a villain?

Betsy [00:06:46] Yes. She’s an evil doll. What are you talking about, man?

Mano [00:06:50] Well, you know, it’s like, look, there’s. There’s like a gray area, right? It’s like, Mama. Okay, look, let’s talk about Mam.

Betsy [00:06:55] Okay? Mama is not a final girl. Jessica Chastain, as a cool punk rocker, is the final girl in that movie.

Mano [00:07:05] Leave a message. Whatever.

Betsy [00:07:06] I don’t fucking care.

Mano [00:07:08] Fuckin’ rock n roll, man.

Betsy [00:07:10] How wild that she’s a good actor.

Mano [00:07:15] She’s a great actor.

Betsy [00:07:16] We saw her and we’re like, what is happening? And then, like, immediately she had another big movie and I was like, Oh, no, it’s. She’s really good.

Mano [00:07:23] It’s just like Helen Mirren in Winchester. Horrible in that. We know Helen Mirren is good, though.

Betsy [00:07:28] Right. That’s true.

Mano [00:07:30] Well, okay. Okay. You can disagree with me, but Mama, of course, was tortured in her time.

Betsy [00:07:35] Yes.

Mano [00:07:35] Had her child taken away from her and endured the horrors of the 1700s or whatever.

Betsy [00:07:42] Right.

Mano [00:07:43] But you don’t think that’s a final girl because.

Betsy [00:07:45] I don’t.

Mano [00:07:46] That’s more of a tortured back story than.

Betsy [00:07:48] I think so. But.

Mano [00:07:49] Okay. Okay.

Betsy [00:07:51] But I see where you’re coming from maybe Mama is a final girl.

Mano [00:07:53] I’m going to think about it.

Betsy [00:07:54] I don’t know.

Mano [00:07:56] I don’t know either. So we’re going to kind of just have a real ass discussion.

Betsy [00:08:03] Just a real fucking ass discussion, man.

Mano [00:08:06] We all know final girls or boys or people are a huge trope in the horror. The person you follow to the end.

Betsy [00:08:16] Do you feel? So here we go.

Mano [00:08:18] Okay.

Betsy [00:08:19] Is it more slasher world?

Mano [00:08:23] It is more slasher world. Because, you know, just by saying final, right, we’re talking about the numbers dwindle, the numbers dwindle.

Betsy [00:08:29] The last survivor.

Mano [00:08:31] And they’re usually the most moral, the most, like they show a lot of morality. Right?

Betsy [00:08:38] Yes.

Mano [00:08:38] That’s what gets them there, traditionally speaking. However, I’ll say I like it when they don’t always do that.

Betsy [00:08:44] Of course.

Mano [00:08:44] I think it’s kind of interesting when it’s like, Oh yeah, they’re very flawed. Like, I guess Scream touches on that. But, you know, our Neve Campbell is still white.

Betsy [00:08:56] Our Neve.

Mano [00:08:56] She’s quite virtuous, not perfect, but she has virtue.

Clip [00:09:00] There she is, Sydney. Some nighe, what happened? You’re alright? She’s not answering any questions. All right, just leave us now. No, Tatum, It’s okay. She’s just doing her job. Right Kim? Yes, that’s right. So how’s the book? Well, it will be out later this year. Oh, I’ll look for it. I’ll send you a copy.

Betsy [00:09:21] Yes. She’s trying. She’s just trying her best.

Mano [00:09:25] Which I think I prefer, of them being, like, overly perfect. When they’re, like, so perfect and, like I got to save. I got to save them even though they tried to kill me. I’m like, that’s a bit much.

Betsy [00:09:36] Right.

Mano [00:09:37] Sometimes they do that. Where they’re like, It’s the right thing to do. And you’re like, I don’t, I am. You’re taking me out of it, final.

Betsy [00:09:43] Like, it’s fun to see Neve Campbell be like, Fuck you. Like I’m going to get you, Stuart. I’m gonna get you Stu.

Mano [00:09:51] Stuart.

Betsy [00:09:52] Yeah you know, like that is very fun.

Mano [00:09:55] I’m feeling woozy here.

Betsy [00:09:55] I’m feeling woozy. And my mom and dad are going to be so mad, man.

Mano [00:10:01] Oh, I’m never going to make it to Scooby Doo, the movie, man.

Betsy [00:10:07] Scooby Doo, the movie.

Mano [00:10:10] So. Yeah, I like virtue. I don’t like it when they’re too sweet. Like.

Betsy [00:10:15] What’s it? What’s an example of a too sweet final girl?

Mano [00:10:20] Um, dare I say?

Betsy [00:10:24] Uh oh.

Mano [00:10:25] This is just the first one that came to mind. I think I’m going to disagree with myself, but I’m immediately thinking of Chopping Mall where they’re like, you know, they’re sweet and they’re dorky and they’ve been bullied. They’ve been kind of bullied by some of these assholes. And they’re still, like going to help save them in the mall itself.

Betsy [00:10:41] Okay. Okay.

Mano [00:10:43] That, not saccharine sweet, but just a little bit like I kind of wish they were like, Fuck these people. Let’s get out of here.

Betsy [00:10:49] I mean, and they kind of start with them being like, I feel weird going to this party.

Mano [00:10:54] Yes.

Betsy [00:10:55] I feel weird going to this party in the furniture store, in the mall during the after hours. Where everybody has sex around us.

Mano [00:11:05] That is such a funny thing.

Betsy [00:11:07] Right next to each other.

Mano [00:11:08] If you haven’t seen Chopping Mall drop everything.

Betsy [00:11:10] It’s awesome. It’s streaming I feel anywhere.

Mano [00:11:12] It’s like 73 minutes. It’s perfect.

Betsy [00:11:16] It’s a perfect, perfect movie.

Clip [00:11:18] They broke into the mall where the wildest all night party of their lives. But you’re never alone in the Chopping Mall.

Mano [00:11:30] Okay. What do you think? What are some of your thoughts on final girls? What defines them? Final girls, people, boys.

Betsy [00:11:37] You know, I mean, like they go through a big change. You know?

Mano [00:11:44] Yeah, they go through a change. They have to go through a change.

Betsy [00:11:46] They go, they have to go through like where they are kind of the like I don’t want to say weaker, but kind of the weaker-.

Mano [00:11:53] They’re underestimated.

Betsy [00:11:55] They’re underestimated by everybody in their life.

Mano [00:11:57] Yeah.

Betsy [00:11:58] But then by the end, they’re like, I fucking did it, dude. I fucking did it.

Mano [00:12:04] Yeah, they did it. They have to grow. They have to become braver. Right? You don’t often see someone who starts brave, you know, in the final girl.

Betsy [00:12:13] Right.

Mano [00:12:13] Trope, you see someone kind of grow and take control of their life. Which is a metaphor we all can, we all can connect to. We all want to take more control of our life.

Betsy [00:12:23] Right.

Mano [00:12:24] Now let me ask you this why is Final girl so much more prevalent than final boy? Like, you know, we talk about in like Freddy, Freddy, Part Two, they tried. They were like, let’s tell us a spooky movie with the guy. Obviously, there’s metaphors for queerness in it, but it was not as successful. No secret there. It’s not as successful.

Betsy [00:12:44] Right.

Mano [00:12:44] What is that?

Betsy [00:12:45] I mean, is it that kind of feeling of like a. This feels weird to say, but this is just what I’m trying to say.

Mano [00:12:53] No, say it.

Betsy [00:12:53] Of like women are already, people are like, I don’t know you woman, you know, like?

Mano [00:13:00] I think you’re right. I think it is a part of misogyny. You know what I mean?

Betsy [00:13:03] So then it is like, whoa, this babe did it. I also think it’s babe stuff too, you know? I think that’s classic.

Mano [00:13:12] Right.

Betsy [00:13:12] But I think maybe where it’s just like-.

Mano [00:13:14] I mean, Freud would probably argue that the knife, the knife that the killer stabs the final girl with-.

Betsy [00:13:21] Is a wiener.

Mano [00:13:23] Is a weiner and we are all assaulting women every day of our lives.

Betsy [00:13:26] Whoa Mano.

Mano [00:13:27] Some might say, you know, I’m sorry to say.

Betsy [00:13:30] You’re a big Freud head, dude.

Mano [00:13:32] Freud head, but no, I think there is something there. And I think you’re right. There is misogyny. I think there is toxic masculinity. I just trying to pick apart.

Betsy [00:13:39] Maybe even maybe it’s like I think in a lot of cases, it’s it’s making fun of that by, you know, or I would like to think of like-.

Mano [00:13:48] Right.

Betsy [00:13:49] Okay, world. You think a lady can’t handle this?

Mano [00:13:54] Yes.

Betsy [00:13:54] Well, look at, like who survived.

Mano [00:13:58] Yeah, that is a good point.

Betsy [00:14:00] But I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m no expert.

Mano [00:14:05] I’m not either. Well, is it like I wonder if it’s tied to princess narratives in general? All right, look.

Betsy [00:14:10] Oh Mo!

Mano [00:14:11] What if it’s like tied to our Disney brains being like, we follow the story of this princess, like, and for whatever reason, we don’t follow the story of a prince. Like.

Betsy [00:14:20] They were all. They’re all kind of duds except for the beast, man. Oh, we followed Aladdin. But yeah, I think-.

Mano [00:14:29] We did follow Aladdin.

Betsy [00:14:28] That must be kind of where it comes from, that storytelling of like.

Mano [00:14:32] Uh huh.

Betsy [00:14:33] You know, this, this young woman trying to get to grandma’s house and then there’s a wolf or whatever. And this you princess-.

Mano [00:14:43] Right. There’s a few examples that break this. I’m looking online and people are saying that like Devon Sawa in Final Destination is a final boy.

Betsy [00:14:51] Right. Yeah.

Mano [00:14:53] And even the Daniel Kaluuya character in Get Out. As a final guy.

Betsy [00:14:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mano [00:14:58] That’s interesting.

Betsy [00:14:59] And yeah, like you said, Freddy two.

Mano [00:15:02] Freddy two unfortunately. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I was going to say no, I was wrong. I was going to say The Boy. But we all know The Boy has a final girl.

Betsy [00:15:09] Yeah. The Boy is. Mano.

Mano [00:15:12] I know, I know. It was on this list and I was like, nuh uh. What are you talking about? So they’re really, I’m not seeing.

Betsy [00:15:18] Chucky. Like Child’s Play. The first three are final boys.

Mano [00:15:22] Yeah, well, kids, that’s funny because kids-.

Betsy [00:15:25] Kids, dude.

Mano [00:15:25] Also get to be finals in a different way, which I think goes hand in hand with our like, they’re so helpless.

Betsy [00:15:30] Exactly. Women and children. First off the Titanic, dude.

Mano [00:15:35] A hundred percent.

Betsy [00:15:37] Okay. We’re really smart at this.

Mano [00:15:40] We’re really smart at this. Betsy, you were saying before you’ve read a book about Final Girls.

Betsy [00:15:45] Oh yeah. It was just a fun, it’s a fun book called The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix. Grady Hendrix writes all these fun horror that are just like fun, easy reads where you’re just like, Oh, I want to know what’s going on. I want to know what’s happening. And it was fun because it references like in the world of the book, final girls do exist like there are real ones from like that he pulls a lot from like Friday the 13th and it’s just it’s really a fun little read if you’re into slashers and stuff like that. It’s a good little read.

Mano [00:16:24] It sounds fucking fun.

Betsy [00:16:26] Who’s your ultimate?

Mano [00:16:28] Final?

Betsy [00:16:28] Yeah.

Mano [00:16:29] Oh, gosh. All gosh.

Betsy [00:16:31] Is it Neve?

Mano [00:16:33] It might be Neve. But I’ll think about it. I mean, Laurie Strode is really iconic.

Betsy [00:16:40] Dude. Yeah.

Clip [00:16:42] Somebody help me please. Somebody help! Oh god, help me! Please!

Betsy [00:16:49] I like. The one lady in Friday the 13th, I think it’s Seven, where she has telekinetic powers. And that’s the one where Bernie, Terry Kaiser is in it.

Mano [00:17:05] Oh, yes.

Betsy [00:17:05] Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s, he plays a funny docter.

Mano [00:17:09] So good. He’s so fucking huge in it. Yeah. Final, final girl. Wait. Okay. Well, here’s I have another question, though.

Betsy [00:17:19] What?

Mano [00:17:20] The VVitch is, right?

Betsy [00:17:22] Yeah.

Mano [00:17:22] Our final girl becomes a witch.

Betsy [00:17:24] Yes. Which you would too in that world.

Mano [00:17:28] Oh, absolutely.

Betsy [00:17:28] The witches look like they were having so much more fun.

Mano [00:17:31] That fun, rare thing of like, she’s a final girl, but she went to the dark side.

Betsy [00:17:35] Right.

Mano [00:17:36] Arguably the light side.

Betsy [00:17:37] Right.

Mano [00:17:38] I don’t know.

Betsy [00:17:39] So they might know. Maybe Jessica Chastain and Mama are both final girls.

Mano [00:17:45] Maybe.

Betsy [00:17:45] And the little kids.

Mano [00:17:47] Maybe.

Betsy [00:17:48] Victoria.

Mano [00:17:49] You know who else I love as a final girl, I have to say? Is the Ready, in Ready or Not?

Betsy [00:17:54] Oh, I just watch that again.

Mano [00:17:56] She’s great.

Betsy [00:17:56] She’s incredible.

Mano [00:17:58] I forget her name, but my God, she’s good.

Betsy [00:18:00] That movie is so awesome. And she’s a great final girl.

Mano [00:18:04] Oh, so good. And of course, the the Florence Pugh character in Midsommar.

Betsy [00:18:10] Midsommar.

Mano [00:18:12] Now again she-.

Betsy [00:18:12] She also give in kind of.

Mano [00:18:13] Yes, she gives in.

Betsy [00:18:15] Yeah.

Mano [00:18:16] Now, what does that say when a final girl joins the evil side? Is it like is that a metaphor for like can’t beat them, join them? Or is it just like the machine’s going to get ya? Toxic masculinity is going to get ya.

Betsy [00:18:30] Yeah, I feel a Midsummar. It’s kind of more like, fuck, yeah, let’s, let’s get out of this. Or, you know. Yeah. Like, get rid of that toxic masculinity. Found a place. I think with The VVitch, it’s like, this is such a better life than living with my nasty family in the middle of nowhere. Being afraid of God like fuck that shit.

Mano [00:18:54] Agree. Agree. Now is Neve a better final girl than Jennifer Love Hewitt? Questions.

Betsy [00:19:00] To me? Yes.

Mano [00:19:03] To me too. I don’t know why. I just think she is. Although I love, What are you waiting for?

Betsy [00:19:10] What are you waiting for? I love, I love the I Know What You Did Last Summers, but I think Neve is just.

Mano [00:19:18] She’s just so cool and calm and smart.

Betsy [00:19:22] And she goes through it like don’t get me wrong, Jennifer Love Hewitt is messed up from what happened when she’s in college, but also not messed up enough to be like, yeah, let’s go to the Bahamas.

Mano [00:19:37] Right. She’s a little smarter than that. She’s a little like or how do I put this? She’s not as whimsical. And let’s maybe I just connect with a less whimsical protagonist.

Betsy [00:19:47] Right? I mean, Neve Campbell says stuff of like, Is is is your brain broken? And that’s fun.

Mano [00:19:58] I like, Try again, mother fucker. I mean, she’s the queen of breath acting. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again.

Betsy [00:20:02] She is so good.

Mano [00:20:06] No one’s better at breath acting.

Betsy [00:20:07] No. Mano.

Mano [00:20:09] What?

Betsy [00:20:10] Jennifer Tilly in Chucky movies.

Mano [00:20:13] Jennifer Tilly. I am a, it me, Jennifer Tilly, I don’t care what you think. I love Chucky now. She loves Chucky, though. Is she a final girl? Is she a final girl?

Betsy [00:20:25] I don’t think she is, she just loves Chucky. know.

Clip [00:20:28] I should ask you this a long time ago. Tiffany, will you be my bride? Oh Chucky, yes. Yes.

Mano [00:20:40] No, she just crazy and loves Chucky and he little-.

Betsy [00:20:42] Oh I love the Chucky series.

Mano [00:20:43] Chucky’s little chode dick. She loves it. She loves his chode. And I feel like we, I mean, inevitably we’re missing some.

Betsy [00:20:50] What about? Okay. Nancy from Nightmare on Elm Street.

Mano [00:20:53] Okay. Very good. I mean, she goes so far that she, like, is involved in the film making of her own movie. That is her own story. That’s a long time.

Betsy [00:21:05] Right. And in number three, she’s a doctor try-, like, that’s cool to be, like, or is she a doctor? Or she tries to help. She’s still very much a part of the cause of, like, I had this fucking thing happen to me. I think she’s a great final girl.

Mano [00:21:18] Damn. Yeah, I think so. She’s fantastic. She’s fun. She’s likable. She. You buy it, you buy it.

Betsy [00:21:25] You buy it.

Mano [00:21:26] There’s some kind of girls you just don’t buy it. Now we should say Wendy Torrance. I mean, The Shining.

Betsy [00:21:34] Wow.

Mano [00:21:36] She’s good. She’s good.

Betsy [00:21:38] She’s good.

Mano [00:21:38] That’s a final girl.

Betsy [00:21:39] She’s a final girl.

Mano [00:21:41] She’s a good final girl. And kind of a typical, right? You don’t often see the final girl who’s like, I don’t know, a mom, frankly. Or, huh. She’s a real unique case.

Betsy [00:21:54] She is.

Mano [00:21:56] I don’t know. And we have to at least mention the movie if you haven’t seen it. The movie, The Final Girls is a fantastic movie.

Betsy [00:22:03] Oh, it’s awesome. It’s a really fun movie. I remember going to see it having no clue.

Mano [00:22:09] Yeah.

Betsy [00:22:10] I think I saw, like, one trailer and I was like, What? This looks awesome. It looked. I was like, This is just going to be a rad slasher.

Mano [00:22:17] So many cool, great actors.

Betsy [00:22:18] So cool and different and awesome. Oh.

Mano [00:22:22] Yeah. And they comment on a lot of these tropes and I think a very clever, cool, smart way.

Betsy [00:22:30] Yes.

Mano [00:22:31] Yeah. It’s well done, Betsy, do you feel like you’re a final girl?

Betsy [00:22:35] No, I think I would get killed early on. I would get killed like going to the bathroom or something.

Mano [00:22:43] Yeah.

Betsy [00:22:43] You know?

Mano [00:22:44] Me too.

Betsy [00:22:46] One of those.

Mano [00:22:47] I’m the gay slut.

Betsy [00:22:48] Oh.

Mano [00:22:49] Of course I’m dead.

Betsy [00:22:50] You’re probably the first to go.

Mano [00:22:52] Yeah, I’m the one who’s like, Anyone want poppers?

Betsy [00:22:54] Yes!

Mano [00:22:55] Everyone’s like, No, stop it. I’m like, okay, well, fellas, let me know if your girlfriend won’t suck you off and everyone’s like, Ew!

Betsy [00:23:03] I’ll do it. I would be, see? And I would be the one who’s, like, still up partying while everybody’s gone to go have sex.

Mano [00:23:12] You’re the party animal.

Betsy [00:23:12] And then be like, What are we doing? Oh. And then be like, Oh, no, dat burriot was old. I gotta go fucking blow up, blow up the toilet, and then on the toilet I get killed.

Mano [00:23:24] I think even the killer comes in while you’re toileting and you’re like, Whoa. Killer costume, dude. Like, you’re like, you’re really. You’re really like. I love it. Whoo! Boo!

Betsy [00:23:36] Yeah, maybe, like, maybe my. I like hang out with the killer for a while, and then they kill me.

Mano [00:23:41] That’s actually very funny and scary just to have, like, that thing of, like, you just assume it’s your friend.

Betsy [00:23:48] Just assume it’s a friend.

Mano [00:23:48] Chilling on a couch drinking.

Betsy [00:23:50] Yes.

Mano [00:23:51] And then you’re like. Okay, dude, you can let it go, drop the act.

Betsy [00:23:55] Yeah. Yeah. All right, man, but seriously, I gotta talk to you about what’s going on with my family. Uh! And then I get killed.

Mano [00:24:02] My mom called me and said, I’m no longer part of the family. She called me and said, she doesn’t like me and I’m not part of the family. I don’t know what to do.

Mano [00:24:12] Yeah. What’s going on? What am I supposed to do with that, man? Oh, shit. I was like, Come on, fine. Think I’m a witch. I don’t care.

Mano [00:24:23] Wow.

Betsy [00:24:24] But yeah, I think we would not be final.

Mano [00:24:26] Hell, no.

Betsy [00:24:27] Girls.

Mano [00:24:28] And frankly, we’re not every man enough. And I’m fine with that.

Betsy [00:24:32] I am so fine with that. I don’t need to be.

Mano [00:24:36] You gotta, yeah.

Betsy [00:24:37] Let me do my own thing. I also don’t want to like, imagine what you must deal with after surviving something like a Hallo, night, a Halloween night or a Scream years. 30 years of this. For Neve Campbell. Like for Sidney Prescott, like your whole life is this thing I like I don’t, I don’t need that.

Mano [00:25:01] That is an acting challenge for them. The Neves and the Laurie Strodes that has to, have had that final face down now eight, nine times. It’s like that’s a, that is exhausting.

Betsy [00:25:13] It’s fun, I feel with Scream, it’s fun because it’s always somebody new. And so there’s that kind of mystery to it too. Where it is, like, who’s trying to kill me now? What’s going on? But and then Laurie Strode is like, God damn it, Michael.

Mano [00:25:30] Mm hmm.

Betsy [00:25:30] Quit following me. I thought I killed you.

Mano [00:25:34] Yeah. 100%. It’s very interesting, and it’s very interesting like is there hope or not? Movies like Cabin in the Woods is not about hope. It’s about like nihilism and just being like, well, even if you’re the final girl, the world’s, the world’s over.

Betsy [00:25:49] Yeah, you can decide, like, do you want to sacrifice your self or.

Mano [00:25:53] Yeah.

Betsy [00:25:54] Mano, what would be your, like, Freddy Krueger kind of, I don’t want to say funny death. But you know how sometimes Freddy Krueger has-.

Mano [00:26:03] Oh yeah.

Betsy [00:26:03] Fun with those deaths, like with a girl who is like addicted to drugs and.

Mano [00:26:09] This is dark.

Betsy [00:26:09] A bunch of his little mouths are on her arm.

Mano [00:26:11] This is dark. But if I’m the gay slut, I think it would be really funny to be, like, anally penetrated. And, like, it’s like, I think I’m sleeping with Freddy or someone like that, and I’m like, Oh, fuck, you’re so big. And then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

Betsy [00:26:28] Yes.

Mano [00:26:28] Until this monster cock rips me in half.

Betsy [00:26:30] Rips you in half. And the whole time-

Mano [00:26:32] And I’m like, I can take it.

Betsy [00:26:34] Yeah,the whole time you’re loving it.

Mano [00:26:36] Yeah, yeah. That would be sick and twisted. And it’s very, and it’s a very horror movie, to like, I don’t know, punish pleasure.

Betsy [00:26:45] Right?

Mano [00:26:47] That’s what I would do. How about you?

Betsy [00:26:48] I’m trying to think maybe like, like making me dance to We Found Love in a Hopeless Place over and over. And also, like, we’re, like it gets faster and faster that my, like, legs fall off or something.

Mano [00:27:04] Oh, I love that. Like you act like your bones start to grind to dust because-.

Betsy [00:27:08] Yes! My feet get all like raw and bloody and then the bones gone and then it’s like I just start shrinking down but I can’t stop partying!

Mano [00:27:15] I love it. What if it’s like a Saw situation where it’s like every time you stop dancing like a, like a saw comes out or something like that, where it’s like you have to keep it danc-, like, either way.

Betsy [00:27:26] You must keep dancing.

Mano [00:27:27] Yes.

Betsy [00:27:27] Ooh, spooky! That’s scary, Mano. Shit, man.

Mano [00:27:36] Where are they now?

Betsy [00:27:38] Oh, no.

Mano [00:27:38] Hey, guys, it’s us.

Betsy [00:27:51] Hi. Oh, hi. It’s us. We’re a couple of mombies.

Mano [00:27:57] You remember us? I’m sure you remember us.

Betsy [00:28:01] Brains.

Mano [00:28:01] You gotta remember us.

Betsy [00:28:03] Time, when you’re a momzie.

Mano [00:28:05] Oh.

Betsy [00:28:06] Mommy, Momby, Zombie. Time goes so wild. You know what I’m saying?

Mano [00:28:13] It’s crazy. Well, you know, now that the kids are out of the house and, you know, murdering at college and all over the place.

Betsy [00:28:21] Don’t bring it up.

Mano [00:28:23] No, it’s okay.

Betsy [00:28:25] I got empty nest syndrome.

Mano [00:28:28] We’ve been empty-. But that’s okay because we’ve been filling our house with lots of victims. We’ve been slowly but surely going around pretending to be uninfected and, and hoarding little, little idiots into our little circle. Yeah. So that’s been nice.

Betsy [00:28:44] It’s true. We’ve bene picking up a lot of. We go to the airport and we just have a sign that says “foreign exchange student?” and a lot of people like, that’s me. And so we bring them to our house and then we eat their brains.

Mano [00:28:59] Eat their brains. It’s very nice. And, you know, they trust us because ever since we stole that new Ford Windstar. I mean, we look like, we look like regular moms.

Betsy [00:29:08] We look like such moms. We look like such moms in that Windstar. Everybody doesn’t know that it’s fueled by guts.

Mano [00:29:16] That’s right. That’s right. It’s a blood, it’s a it’s a blood engine. But it, it’s, regardless.

Betsy [00:29:22] Yeah, the blood. And honestly, I think we might have come up with the future.

Mano [00:29:27] Oh, my God. Talk about ethical. I mean literally, cemeteries are filled with fuel.

Betsy [00:29:32] Right.

Mano [00:29:33] Give it to us!

Betsy [00:29:34] Give it to us! Come on.

Mano [00:29:36] But we’re still getting our steps in, in case you’re worried that we’re driving everywhere.

Betsy [00:29:40] Always getting our 10,000 steps in.

Mano [00:29:43] Which is easy for us because, you know, we go on blood fueled sprints. I would say almost every, almost every night. Okay.

Betsy [00:29:49] I will say though, with this Apple Watch.

Mano [00:29:52] Oh, yeah.

Betsy [00:29:53] I gotta say my Apple Watch does not count all the like climbing up bodies I do.

Mano [00:30:01] Yeah.

Betsy [00:30:01] You now, when we were trying to climb up a building with all of our zombie friends.

Mano [00:30:04] Yes, it just counts, it doesn’t count it the same. It count, it’s like count it as if you were, like, jumping rope. But that’s not the same.

Betsy [00:30:10] That’s not the same. I remember before I was a zombie, I would go skiing and Apple Watch is just like, I don’t know what, you did nothing today. It’s like, I’m tired, Apple Watch.

Mano [00:30:21] See, and I got to change because my, my son got me the Fitbit arrow, and I don’t think it’s as good as the Apple Watch.

Betsy [00:30:27] You don’t?

Mano [00:30:28] I don’t think so. No.

Betsy [00:30:30] You don’t?

Mano [00:30:31] It doesn’t hold a charge. I have to charge it every single night, which that’s ridiculous.

Betsy [00:30:35] That’s outrageous. That’s outrageous. Come on!

Mano [00:30:39] I hate it. I hate my son. I’m going to kill him.

Betsy [00:30:41] Ooh. Can I get in on that?

Mano [00:30:43] Yeah. We’ll chop his head right off.

Betsy [00:30:45] Can I say? I hate your son too. He touched my butt one time.

Mano [00:30:49] I’m so. I’m so sorry, Helen. I am. He’s, you know, he’s. What can I say? Ever since he was seven years old, he’s a little perverted son of a bitch.

Betsy [00:30:59] He is a little perverted son of a bitch.

Mano [00:31:01] He’s a pervert. He’s disgusting. I mean, ever since he was seven, I caught him licking licking the front page of the Sports Illustrated magazine. I don’t know what to do.

Betsy [00:31:10] Ew!

Mano [00:31:10] It’s disgusting.

Betsy [00:31:13] Why did you keep buying it for him? Quit buying it for him!

Mano [00:31:14] Well, it kept him from squitching everywhere. You know? Gave him something to do. Squitching all over my sheets.

Betsy [00:31:20] Ew, I hte when my son squitches everywhere. He. Oh, man. I remember when he turned, when he turned 13, he was squitching every day. Like I walked out and was like, what is this? We didn’t get glazed donuts.

Mano [00:31:33] Just squitch in the toilet. Yeah. I know. It’s just shoot it right in there.

Betsy [00:31:37] Squitch in the shirts.

Mano [00:31:38] I don’t care if you squitch, just do it right in the shower or the tub. Come on.

Betsy [00:31:41] Do it somewhere where it can get washed down.

Mano [00:31:45] I know. Well, that’s us.

Betsy [00:31:48] That’s the last time my husband squitched in me I bit his neck.

Mano [00:31:54] Did he love it?

Betsy [00:31:56] Yeah, he’s a zombie now so he’s one of me now. He’s one of us.

Mano [00:32:01] I love when we can still have these girl to girl talks.

Betsy [00:32:03] Oh, I know. I mean we’re best friends.

Mano [00:32:05] No matter how old we get, we’re still sexual creatures. Okay, everybody?

Betsy [00:32:10] Yeah! No matter how old and how zombie we are, we are still sexual creatures.

Mano [00:32:15] Get over it.

Betsy [00:32:16] Yeah. Fuck you.

Mano [00:32:18] Yeah, fuck you, you fucking idiots.

Betsy [00:32:19] Fuck you.

Mano [00:32:21] And fuck you.

Betsy [00:32:22] Fuck you.

Mano [00:32:23] Bye.

Betsy [00:32:24] Okay, bye. Whoa. Yeah. Woo.

Mano [00:32:33] Oh my god.

Betsy [00:32:34] Yeah.

Mano [00:32:35] People are losing it. They’re ripping their limbs off and throwing them at us in support.

Betsy [00:32:40] Yeah. Like that scene in Mother where they tear a baby apart. That movie sucked.

Mano [00:32:46] Never saw it. That movie sucked is all I hear is that it’s sucked.

Betsy [00:32:49] It sucked.

Mano [00:32:49] I don’t want to see it.

Betsy [00:32:51] But people are losing their damn minds. They’re so excited for the finals.

Mano [00:32:55] It’s the finals. And it’s brought every, every single person from the horror kingdom together.

Betsy [00:33:01] That’s right.

Mano [00:33:02] Zombies. Ghouls. Goblins. Teeth. Just teeth.

Betsy [00:33:08] Just teetch. Just a bunch of teeth roaming around.

Mano [00:33:11] The alligator from Crawl.

Betsy [00:33:13] Oh, yeah. The alligator from Alligator.

Mano [00:33:17] Yes.

Betsy [00:33:17] Yeah, everybody is everybody who’s anybody is here for.

Mano [00:33:22] That’s right.

Betsy [00:33:22] For the scary, horny, horror Super Bowl. We don’t know what it’s called.

Mano [00:33:26] That’s right.

Betsy [00:33:27] We love it.

Mano [00:33:28] And we’re going to decide who the number one scariest scary horror character is ever.

Betsy [00:33:36] Evaer. Oh, my God. Okay, Mano.

Mano [00:33:41] Okay.

Betsy [00:33:41] We got it. So we’re in the semifinals, and we got Freddy Krueger versus Chucky.

Mano [00:33:47] Oh, God.

Betsy [00:33:47] And Leprechaun versus Ghostface.

Mano [00:33:49] Oh God!

Betsy [00:33:50] So let’s get started with Freddy Krueger versus Chucky. Holy shit.

Mano [00:33:53] Oh, Lord. This is terrible.

Betsy [00:33:56] This is really tough.

Mano [00:33:58] Both funny.

Betsy [00:33:59] Both really funny.

Mano [00:34:01] Both creative.

Betsy [00:34:03] Very creative.

Mano [00:34:05] Uh.

Betsy [00:34:05] Both people. People. Both things I would hang out with and I think, have a good time with, honestly.

Mano [00:34:13] They hate kids.

Betsy [00:34:14] Hate kids, I’m with them. I don’t need kids.

Mano [00:34:18] I will say your dermatologist bill is going to be sky high with these guys because they, they have skin problems.

Betsy [00:34:25] Well, Chucky, you could just get a new one.

Mano [00:34:27] Oh, yeah, Chucky’s like, yeah, yeah.

Betsy [00:34:29] He’ll melt away. But then you get a new doll.

Mano [00:34:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s true.

Betsy [00:34:33] Hop in there.

Mano [00:34:35] Yeah. Like Chucky’s head gashes have always, it’s always been so they they they they move, which, of course, because he gets new heads and stuff, but he’s really taken quite a few axes to the head.

Betsy [00:34:47] Oh, yeah. He’s been burnt to a crisp.

Mano [00:34:49] Uh huh.

Betsy [00:34:50] Yeah. Yeah. He’s been through a lot of stuff.

Mano [00:34:53] He’s been through a lot of stuff. Okay, wait, Freddy Krueger.

Betsy [00:34:55] Okay. He was a bad, bad dude.

Mano [00:34:59] Oh, yeah, bad man.

Betsy [00:35:00] Spirit is a bad man. So that’s kind of tough. But Freddy Krueger also. Where it’s like, oh, you’re a piece of shit. Both of your pieces of shit you. Just now happen, like you just now happened to be a silly doll.

Mano [00:35:13] That is funny that you couldn’t like Freddy Krueger could not be a new character that was created today.

Betsy [00:35:20] No.

Mano [00:35:21] Like there’s like a different there’s a detachment to the horrors he’s committed in an interesting way that we were like, whew, it’s funny, you know?

Betsy [00:35:29] No, it’s fine. It’s fine, it’s fine. I mean once you get Roseanne, Roseanne into a Freddy Krueger movie you know you’re doing something right.

Mano [00:35:38] That is so crazy.

Clip [00:35:39] It’s been so long since we’ve had children in the house so long. This time, I swear it’ll be different. This time I’ll be careful and I’ll, I’ll hide you better so that he’ll never find you.

Mano [00:35:52] The video game one is so great.

Betsy [00:35:55] I love that one. And when, that’s when Freddy really embraced it. When Freddy’s the Wicked Witch of the West or whatever.

Clip [00:36:03] I’ll get you, my pretty and your little soul too.

Mano [00:36:10] Uh huh, he loves pop culture. Pop culture queen.

Betsy [00:36:13] Freddy does love pop culture. I mean, Dream Warriors.

Mano [00:36:17] Mm hmm.

Betsy [00:36:18] One of the coolest movies ever made.

Mano [00:36:22] Oh, yeah, it’s my favorite Freddy.

Betsy [00:36:24] It’s the best.

Mano [00:36:25] And interesting. Chunky. I would say Freddy’s movies are better on the whole. Do I believe that?

Betsy [00:36:31] Mano!

Mano [00:36:33] I don’t know why I think Freddy’s movies have more of a lasting impression with me. Like Chucky’s movies are good.

Betsy [00:36:38] That’s true. That’s true. I feel the visuals in Freddy Krueger are like, in your face holy shit. Scary, cool, funny.

Mano [00:36:46] Right.

Betsy [00:36:48] Him when he just, in the first one, just stretches his arms really wide and his, like, grinding his claws.

Mano [00:36:56] Oh, that was so cool. And I mean, the the weird drug is in part three, the drug arm.

Betsy [00:37:01] The puppets, the drug arm with little mouths being like, Feed me. The puppet bit in Dream Warriors, three.

Mano [00:37:08] Large wheelchair.

Betsy [00:37:09] So good.

Mano [00:37:10] Yeah, it’s really cool.

Betsy [00:37:12] And Chucky’s more of a like okay I got to kind of make it look like a child did this or somebody else did this so I’m going to shove people out windows. I’m going to slice them up.

Mano [00:37:22] Yeah, but I’ll say this. Chucky. I mean, I think I think Chucky is a little bit more of a overall good person. I think he’s a better person than Freddy, weirdly.

Betsy [00:37:30] Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Mano [00:37:32] Better person. Freddy Krueger, you know, still says some weird stuff every every now and then he’ll say something weird to Kelly Rowland where you’re like.

Betsy [00:37:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freddy versus Jason, there were a couple like, Hey, Freddy let’s not. We don’t need to do that, man.

Mano [00:37:44] Unnecessary.

Betsy [00:37:45] Unnecessary, truly unnecessary. Because, honestly, not even funny.

Mano [00:37:50] Yeah, I know. There’s a funnier way to that. And funnier, anything is funnier.

Betsy [00:37:55] Anything is way funnier. Chucky does, when he’s loyal. He’s loyal.

Mano [00:38:00] Yeah.

Betsy [00:38:01] He does stuff when he cares about people. Just like with Tiffany and stuff, he will do anything to take care of Tiffany.

Mano [00:38:08] Yeah. We don’t know what.

Mano [00:38:10] Freddy’s like with people, you know what I mean? We don’t know. Like, he doesn’t have anyone even in his world.

Betsy [00:38:17] Right?

Mano [00:38:18] You know? He doesn’t, like, talk to another ghoul or something. It’s just him and you. You and him.

Betsy [00:38:23] Right.

Mano [00:38:24] So relationship wise, that might be tiring.

Betsy [00:38:27] That’s pretty tough because Chucky, we know he’s got friends and stuff.

Mano [00:38:31] Uh huh.

Betsy [00:38:31] He’s got people that like, follow. People are obsessed with Chucky. People love Chucky.

Mano [00:38:36] I would say, though, Chucky. You have to drive him everywhere. I don’t think he drives.

Betsy [00:38:41] That’s true. Whereas Freddy, he’ll be like, Meet me in this dream.

Mano [00:38:44] Right? Oh, God.

Betsy [00:38:49] Chucky or Freddy, this is too tough, man.

Mano [00:38:54] Okay.

Betsy [00:38:55] Because I like them both. I like both. I love the Chucky TV show. The Freddy Krueger TV show is pretty weird.

Mano [00:39:04] True. Mm mm mm. Okay. I, I have an-.

Betsy [00:39:10] Okay.

Mano [00:39:11] I have an initial and then we’ll see again. We could have the tie broken. We could agree.

Betsy [00:39:16] Okay. I think I got one. I got one. This is tough. I

Mano [00:39:20] Oh, God. This is tough.

Betsy [00:39:22] Okay.

Mano [00:39:22] Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Betsy [00:39:24] All right. One. Two.

Mano [00:39:26] Two, three. Freddy Krueger.

Betsy [00:39:27] Three. Freddy Krueger. Okay!

Mano [00:39:29] Wow. Okay.

Betsy [00:39:31] In the end, who’s scarier?

Mano [00:39:34] I think just his movies are a little better for me.

Betsy [00:39:38] They’re more impactful. There’s a lot of really impactful moments in those movies.

Mano [00:39:43] Uh huh.

Betsy [00:39:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mano [00:39:46] Dang. Okay, so next Leprechaun v Ghostface.

Betsy [00:39:52] Shit so this is-.

Mano [00:39:54] This one.

Betsy [00:39:56] How funny we have Freddy Krueger Chucky and Leprechaun all in one, I mean, I love those. Like, give me a funny goofball man.

Mano [00:40:04] Mm hmm. I love a little goofball.

Betsy [00:40:06] Okay. Leprechaun versus Ghostface.

Mano [00:40:08] Both very, very sarcastic. Very sarcastic, very funny, very silly.

Betsy [00:40:14] I feel Ghostface would, like, give notes to Leprechaun.

Mano [00:40:17] Yeah.

Betsy [00:40:18] You know, like, this kill was good but this one was-, you know, like.

Mano [00:40:24] Right.

Betsy [00:40:24] The logic in your movies or like, hey, who cares? Who cares? It’s one time.

Mano [00:40:30] He’s like, is it true that the theory is, if you made three wishes, the fourth wish was annulled, as demonstrated from the film’s third and fourth installments. Be like, Oh my God, shut up.

Betsy [00:40:44] Oh, I don’t care.

Mano [00:40:47] I don’t care. You see, my friend. I want you to shut up and end.

Betsy [00:40:56] Yeah. Kill him, Leprechaun.

Mano [00:40:59] You stupid dork. I hate your guts. Now watch as I make you poop your butts.

Betsy [00:41:09] Ah, Leprechaun giving everybody diarrhea is so funny.

Mano [00:41:13] Okay, Ghostface.

Betsy [00:41:15] Okay.

Mano [00:41:15] Smart.

Betsy [00:41:16] Ghostface.

Mano [00:41:17] Smart.

Betsy [00:41:19] Yeah. Calculated.

Mano [00:41:19] Probably good at paying the bills and stuff like that. Probably good.

Betsy [00:41:24] That’s true.

Mano [00:41:24] Probably good at keeping the house together. I don’t know.

Betsy [00:41:27] I feel also a lot like Ghostface would be if they’re into you, they will be loyal and they will, but they’ll do crazy shit for you, you know? Like I did this for you, I did this all for you. Whereas Leprechaun I think is going to be more like This is my thing. I’m doing my own thing. You could come with me if you want or not.

Mano [00:41:48] Mmhmm. True. True. Maybe Leprechaun travel seems like Leprechaun travels quite a bit.

Betsy [00:41:55] Leprechaun travels for sure.

Mano [00:41:56] Mm hmm. Ghostface. Ghostface.

Betsy [00:41:59] Ghostface. Very serious.

Clip [00:42:02] No you listen, you little bitch. You hang up on me again I’ll gut you like a fish. Understand?

Mano [00:42:06] Very serious little bit of an ax to grind.

Betsy [00:42:09] Big old ax to grind.

Mano [00:42:11] Probably going to jail a lot. Whereas I, you know, we know Leprechaun can bail himself out.

Betsy [00:42:16] Right.

Mano [00:42:17] He can get out any time he wants.

Betsy [00:42:18] Right. That’s true.

Mano [00:42:20] You know, I would say Leprechauns bloodthirsty-er. Definitely bloodthirsty-er.

Betsy [00:42:25] Right.

Mano [00:42:26] You know, like, Ghostface is like, I’ll kill you.

Mano [00:42:28] But Leprechaun.

Betsy [00:42:29] Yeah, I’ll kill you to get to where I need. Whereas Leprechaun like, hey, man, if you step on my shoe, I’ll kill you.

Mano [00:42:35] Yeah.

Betsy [00:42:37] You know? Like, don’t step on my little shoe. I’ll kill you.

Mano [00:42:40] Yeah, yeah. Leprechauns fickle, which I weirdly like.

Betsy [00:42:44] Yeah.

Mano [00:42:46] Fickle.

Betsy [00:42:47] Fickle Leprechaun’s fickle, man. I don’t know. This is tough because they’re also different vibes. They’re such-.

Mano [00:42:55] Very different.

Betsy [00:42:55] Different vibes.

Mano [00:42:57] I have one in my heart.

Betsy [00:42:59] Oh, okay.

Mano [00:43:01] But I’m only, in no rush to answer. But I have one I’m thinking of that keeps just coming back to me.

Betsy [00:43:09] Leprechaun. Leprechaun. I mean, Leprechauns kills, the fuckin’ Vegas one.

Mano [00:43:15] So many good Vegas one.

Betsy [00:43:17] So good. So many good. But you know just what? You know.

Mano [00:43:21] What are you talking about?

Betsy [00:43:22] What are you talking about? Her butt getting so big, she explodes. That’s so good.

Clip [00:43:29] Your boobs are fake. Your butt is small. But still you’re in for quite a fall. What are talking about? Oh, well didn’t you hear? Bigger is good but jumbo is dear. I’ll give you boobs that come out to here.

Mano [00:43:43] What are you doing?

Betsy [00:43:45] What are you doing? He give her big ol’ boobies.

Mano [00:43:50] Look at you. You beautiful creature. Whatever she says.

Betsy [00:43:54] Dude, she’s in Texas Chainsaw Massacre Two.

Mano [00:43:56] Really?

Betsy [00:43:58] She’s like the lead.

Mano [00:43:59] Really?

Betsy [00:44:01] And I was watching and I was like, Oh, my God. That’s what are you doing lady! Okay, I think I got it.

Mano [00:44:07] Okay, I’m ready. One, two, three. Leprechaun.

Betsy [00:44:14] Leprechaun!

Clip [00:44:14] Now, that was quite a low to have to explode. What a lovely lass. I had to blow up your ass. But now I must hit the road. Hahaha.

Mano [00:44:23] Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Betsy [00:44:26] Oh, my goodness.

Mano [00:44:27] I think. Yeah, Leprechaun just kind of took me with, uh, his dedication to whimsy and madness.

Betsy [00:44:36] And madness. He’s having fun. He’s having a blast.

Mano [00:44:40] I will say dental bill, though. Woof. The dental bill is going to be through the roof.

Betsy [00:44:45] But you can. Yeah, he doesn’t care.

Mano [00:44:47] Hopefully you get him on your insurance and then it’s not, it’s okay.

Betsy [00:44:51] He doesn’t care though.

Mano [00:44:53] Yeah.

Betsy [00:44:53] You know.

Mano [00:44:54] But if he’s like if he’s like oh, my tooth hurts, you’re like, yeah. I know it hurts. You haven’t brushed your teeth in 100 years.

Betsy [00:45:02] Right, right.

Mano [00:45:03] As long as he doesn’t complain about his teeth, then ugh.

Betsy [00:45:06] Then it’s over. Yeah. Yeah. Then give me Ghostface any time.

Mano [00:45:09] Any day.

Betsy [00:45:10] Okay. Our final match. Holy shit, Mano. We got Freddy Krueger versus Leprechaun.

Mano [00:45:16] And someone’s going to be mad. No matter what we pick, someone’s gonna be mad.

Betsy [00:45:22] Oh yeah. I’m sure people are furious this whole time, and, hey, I don’t know waht to tell ya.

Mano [00:45:27] That Mike Myers isn’t here.

Betsy [00:45:28] Oh, yeah, yeah. Everybody’s furious Mike Myers isn’t here.

Mano [00:45:31] Oh, okay. Okay.

Betsy [00:45:33] Okay, okay. Freddy Krueger versus Leprechaun. Both very, very funny.

Mano [00:45:40] Very funny. Cursed. Freddy Krueger is the son of a thousand maniacs.

Betsy [00:45:44] Yeah.

Mano [00:45:45] The bastard of a thousand maniacs. I think they say.

Betsy [00:45:49] With a nun.

Mano [00:45:50] Freddy. Leppy, Leppy.

Betsy [00:45:53] Freddy, Freddy. Leprechaun. Okay. Both funny.

Mano [00:45:57] Both funny. Both evil. Wicked. Oh.

Betsy [00:46:03] Both doing their own thing, which is like.

Mano [00:46:05] Yes, magical. Both are magical.

Betsy [00:46:07] Both magical.

Mano [00:46:09] Cursed.

Betsy [00:46:09] Right?

Mano [00:46:11] Uh huh.

Betsy [00:46:12] I guess Leprechaun’s a little more magical.

Mano [00:46:14] Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Right. ‘Cause Freddy needs dreams.

Betsy [00:46:20] ‘Cuase Freddy can meet you in your dreams and be magical in your dreams.

Mano [00:46:22] Except for in part two, where he shows up to a pool party.

Betsy [00:46:25] Oh yeah. Everybody’s like that was. He broke the rules immediately.

Mano [00:46:29] That was awful. That pissed me off.

Betsy [00:46:35] Okay. Okay, okay.

Mano [00:46:37] But dreams are scary because you must dream. We all have to sleep. We all have to sleep, we know that, that’s what’s so great about that.

Betsy [00:46:43] That’s, that’s right. That’s right. I mean, okay. In a fight, who would win because Freddy Krueger would need Leprechaun to sleep. Right? And Leprechaun’s magical so Lephrechaun maybe never has to sleep.

Mano [00:46:55] Interesting. That’s an interesting point. I don’t know why I think Leprechaun does sleep, but I think you’re right. His sleep is different. He could be like I sleep for an hour every week or something.

Betsy [00:47:07] Right? Like elf rules.

Mano [00:47:09] Yeah.

Betsy [00:47:10] I got a full 45 minutes. And you’re like, whoa.

Mano [00:47:13] That’s an interesting point. Leprechaun has powers in any sphere.

Betsy [00:47:17] Right. Where Freddy, you need to be asleep.

Mano [00:47:20] Need to be asleep. .

Betsy [00:47:23] Uh oh. But then it’s like, once again, Freddy Krueger movies leave a bigger impact. And I love the Leprechaun franchise, but, like.

Mano [00:47:34] Yeah, like Freddy, movies are cooler.

Betsy [00:47:37] Yeah.

Mano [00:47:38] Leprechaun is stupid. And we love that. But.

Betsy [00:47:40] Yes. And thank goodness for that. But.

Mano [00:47:42] Um. Cooler. Meaner, like, what’s the “er”? What’s the “er” we’re looking for?

Betsy [00:47:50] Right, right.

Mano [00:47:54] Freddy Krueger, Leprechaun. Oh, God. Okay.

Betsy [00:47:56] Okay. I think I have mine.

Mano [00:47:58] Oh, God. Okay. I have mine. I have mine.

Betsy [00:48:02] Okay.

Mano [00:48:03] Okay.

Mano [00:48:04] Three, two, one. Freddy!

Betsy [00:48:06] Freddy Krueger! Yeah!

Mano [00:48:07] Oh, my God.

Betsy [00:48:10] Okay, we did it.

Mano [00:48:11] I almost went Leprechaun with the magic rules.

Betsy [00:48:14] I was so close to Leprechaun. But then I was like, Freddy Krueger just like, since I was a kid scared me more than Leprechaun.

Mano [00:48:23] Yeah.

Betsy [00:48:24] The whole history of it is like, Oh, Freddy Krueger.

Mano [00:48:27] He’s cooler. Leprechaun’s are really fun, but yeah, Freddy’s. Honestly, there would be no Leprechaun without Freddy.

Betsy [00:48:39] That is a fact, dude.

Mano [00:48:40] I think that’s a fact.

Mano [00:48:42] I think that is a scientist fact.

Betsy [00:48:44] That is a absolute fact.

Mano [00:48:47] Freddy kind of started the genre.

Betsy [00:48:49] Right. So, Leprechaun, you better be fucking bowing down to Freddy.

Mano [00:48:53] Right. He kind of cree-, really did start the Bugs Bunny of horror archetype. Like that’s it.

Betsy [00:49:02] Especially in that one Freddy, is it Freddy’s Dead? Like doesn’t he truly draw.

Mano [00:49:06] Yeah.

Betsy [00:49:07] Like a hole in the thing, like a hole in the wall and yeah, like.

Mano [00:49:12] It’s a big Looney Tunes moment. .

Betsy [00:49:15] Very cartoony. It’s great.

Mano [00:49:15] Yeah. It’s like, it’s like a full allusion to loonies. For sure.

Betsy [00:49:18] It is. Wow. Freddy Krueger!

Mano [00:49:20] Oh wow, the audience is going nuts. Everyone’s losing their minds.

Betsy [00:49:23] Yeah. Everybody’s giving a standing ovation to Freddy Krueger. Yeah! Freddy! Freddy! Freddy!

Mano [00:49:31] Oh, Leprechaun’s being a poor sport. Leprechaun. Stop it, stop it.

Betsy [00:49:35] Of course. Quit it. Quit trying to pants people. Trying to pull their pants down. Leprechaun, come on, don’t do that.

Mano [00:49:42] Stop that. Stop putting coins in people’s buttholes. You stop this.

Betsy [00:49:45] Quit doing it. I know, coin slot, we get it. Stop doing that, stop dropping pins.

Mano [00:49:50] Good connection. But stop it.

Betsy [00:49:51] Come on, stop it. Wow. Freddy Krueger, our, our leader, our winner. Wow. We did it.

Mano [00:49:59] The horniest, horror, scary, horny horror bowl character of this particular moment.

Betsy [00:50:06] Of this particular podcast.

Mano [00:50:09] Wow.

Betsy [00:50:09] Wow.

Mano [00:50:10] And now tell us, you know, got to go to Earwolf on Instagram and Twitter. Check out the bracket. Let us know if you agree or disagree and fill out your own bracket and send it our way.

Betsy [00:50:21] Yes. Yes. Tis the season. Have fun.

Mano [00:50:25] Ooh. Thank you for listening.

Betsy [00:50:28] Yes.

Mano [00:50:29] To 2 Spooky 2 Handle.

Betsy [00:50:31] We hope you didn’t get too scared.

Mano [00:50:34] And we hope you didn’t fill your pants up with poops.

Betsy [00:50:37] Yeah, if you did, it’s okay. It happens to everybody.

Mano [00:50:40] It’s fine. It’s, there’s no worries

Betsy [00:50:43] It truly happens to everyone. We gotta get away from this idea of adults not pooping their pants. That’s dog shit. It happens. Don’t worry.

Mano [00:50:52] It’s fine. You’re safe here. You’re safe. Hey, look at us in the eye. Look at us.

Betsy [00:50:57] Look at us.

Mano [00:50:57] Look at us.

Betsy [00:50:58] Look. Give us your hands.

Mano [00:51:00] Give us your hands. It’s ok. Give us your lips. Give us your lips. It’s okay.

Betsy [00:51:07] It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Mano [00:51:09] It’s okay. You’re safe here.

Betsy [00:51:10] It’s okay if you pooped your pants. Everybody does it.

Mano [00:51:13] Oh, everyone in the stadium kissing each other. This is beautiful.

Betsy [00:51:16] Yay! This is nice. This is nice.

Mano [00:51:17] No better way to end. No better way to end. Well, bye Spookys.

Betsy [00:51:22] Goodbye. Wow. Thanks for listening to 2 Spooky 2 Handle.

Mano [00:51:34] Yeah, we are your hosts Mano Agapion and Betsy Sodaro.

Betsy [00:51:42] That’s right. 2 Spooky 2 Handle is an Earwolf production produced by Anita Flores and Cassi Jerkins. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer and the theme song by Cassi Jerkins.

Mano [00:51:54] And a spooky special thanks to Jon Gabrus

Betsy [00:51:59] Oscar Montoya.

Mano [00:52:00] Lamar Woods.

Betsy [00:52:02] Lauren Lapkus. They all contributed to our Where Are They Now segment and we love them all.

Mano [00:52:12] Remember. Follow and subscribe to Earwolf Presents to hear new shows by your favorite comedians.