Gilbert and Frank welcome an old friend, legendary comedy writer Bruce Vilanch, who looks back at the “golden age” of TV variety shows and specials, including “Donny & Marie,” “The Brady Bunch Hour,” “The Star Wars Holiday Special” and “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.” (all co-written by Brucehimself). Also, Margaret Hamilton makes her move, Robert Reed channels Carmen Miranda, Jack Benny does “The Match Bit” and Gilbert takes over “Hollywood Squares.” PLUS: Jack Palance! Bob Hope’s filing cabinet! “Wayne Newton at SeaWorld”! Bruce hangs with Tallulah Bankhead! And the Oscar joke that never made the air!

Dripfang the Chef Inquisitor stops by the tavern in an attempt to improve the podcast.

Credits:

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Dripfang: Kevin Sciretta
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen
Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi
Tricia: Kate James

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan Jacover
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, Disenchantment on Netflix, and Casper Mattresses.

The stock market is even more powerful than you realize. Which is saying something, right? Much like Han Solo is pretty sure he can imagine infinite money, you believe you know the world’s combined wealth is mighty. But did you know a lot of Traditional Upstanding Stock Market Business is simply rich people gambling? And did you know individual rich people, regular people, and even children have steered the entire world economy into a ditch more times than your history teacher can count?

On this week’s episode of The Cracked Podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Gaby Dunn for an adventure through modern risk-takers, historical bet-losers, and the creepy way wealthier people are keeping you unaware of the whole thing. They’ll rediscover Scotland’s canal through Panama. They’ll watch entire stock exchanges and currencies collapse because of one guy. And they’ll leave you with ways you can be just as powerful as those mysterious masters of the universe if you think a little bit more about where your money lives.

Footnotes: https://goo.gl/pgN5eg

Ben Schwartz of Solo Bolo fame joins Scott to talk about his new film Blue Iguana, which commercial would make a great movie, and the last album they bought physically. Then, Phil Shorts the Puzzle Master and Hypnoto the Mesmerist stop by to talk about designing word searches and using the dark arts to lull people into a state of mesmerization in that order.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/BANGBANG), Leesa (www.leesa.com/BANGBANG), and Keeps (www.keeps.com/BANGBANG).

Paul F. Tompkins welcomes music lovers back to Spontaneanation! This time out, Paul’s special guest is author/actress/musician Calpernia Addams! Calpernia chats about her first memory, figuring out what was going on in pop-culture when she was younger by sifting through Mad magazines,and the mixtape that changed her life. Then, they are joined by improvisers Kimia Behpoornia, Maria Blasucci, and Ronnie Adrian, to improvise a story set Inside the Mind of a Horny Housewife. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

Amy announces the winner of the final Canon call-in showdown, before presenting an episode of Unspooled, all about 1998’s Titanic. Don’t forget to subscribe to Unspooled on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts!

Cuties owners Virginia Bauman and Iris Bainum-Houle sit down with Cameron to discuss their queer-owned coffee shop, community, and the challenges of running a small business.

This episode is sponsored by Pact (www.wearpact.com code: QUEERY) and RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/QUEERY code: QUEERY).

Bad luck nuns, the fisherman faker, and more on this week’s minisode! Paul goes through Corrections and Omissions for Yes, Giorgio, opens up the Mail Bag, and the Movie Bitches review Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Plus, the next movie selection to get the HDTGM treatment!

Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/

Check out our new website over at www.hdtgminfo.com!

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter 

@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on Twitter 

Jason is still not on Twitter 

Homophilia is live from the JFL Comedy Festival with a full line-up of old and new favs! Bryan Safi (Throwing Shade), Joel Kim Booster (Conan), Sabrina Jalees (Search Party, The Comedy Lineup) join the guys to talk about Canada’s Got Talent, clown hairdressers, Mamma Mia 2’s elusive timeline and more! Plus, Drake drama, touching faces on drugs, and going through a divorce.

This episode is sponsored by Phlur (www.phlur.com code: HOMO).

As Jude and Arabella get closer to doing the deed, Michael and his wife, Martha, discuss how they met and fell in love (spoiler alert: there were no pigs involved).

This episode is sponsored by Leesa (www.leesa.com/OBSCURE).

Comedians and Fake the Nation regulars Scott Blakeman (Laughing Liberally) and Benari Poulten (The Nightly Show) join Negin for a wide-ranging conversation about the Trump administration’s cast of unsavory characters. They recap the Manafort trial, take a look at Stephen Miller’s plans to limit citizenship for legal immigrants, and try to make sense of the Iran sanctions. Lastly, they chat about the podcast bros who want to optimize your life.

This episode is sponsored by Chef Steps (www.chefsteps.com/joule code: FAKE).

Matt Besser is joined by famed scientist Dr. Ian Malcolm, one of the early detractors of genetically recreating and re-engineering dinosaurs. Nearly killed at Jurassic Park many times, Dr. Malcolm is with us today to discuss dinosaurs, improv, and why the two don’t mix.

Casey and Danielle are on the road and wearing Beverly Beach bikinis YOU’RE WELCOME. Grab your life jackets as they discuss the boat trip and shit stains from hell, defend Craig’s right to sew and perform a scene settling the Carole vs. Bethany debate once and for all. Enjoy a Bravo soundscape that opens the show created by Jennifer Li and Marc Jackson that will change your life forever. Paul Wilson, while devastated to be traveling during the DC show, would like everyone to know “Our celebrity Family Feud Episode airs Sunday March 12th.” Casey and Danielle will be back in September! 

This episode is brought to you by Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: HOUSEWIVES) and Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/HOUSEWIVES).

Bryan and Erin consider the practicality of penis push-up pants and hear an exchange with America’s top psychic healer before welcoming the eternally sage Ronna Glickman (Jessica Chaffin) to answer listener questions about everything from getting rid of that stubborn dog pee smell to living with an ex to dating while struggling with your self-image. All that and more on a very special Throwing Shade!

And make sure to check out Deeper Shade of Shade on Stitcher Premium, where Bryan and Erin interview their favorite friends of the show. For a free month of listening, go to stitcherpremium.com/shade and use promo code ‘SHADE’.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/SHADE code: SHADE), ScentBird (www.scentbird.com/SHADE code: SHADE), and Dollar Shave Club (www.dollarshaveclub.com/SHADE).

Fasten your seatbelts – this week Paul & Amy take on 1950’s showbiz satire All About Eve! They marvel at how well Joseph Mankiewicz understands his female characters, dish on which actors secretly hated each other, and furiously debate whether the title character is actually all that bad. Plus: film critic and historian Karina Longworth (You Must Remember This) talks about Bette Davis and her place in Hollywood history.

In honor of Double Indemnity week, call the Unspooled voicemail line at 747-666-5824 and help us plot the perfect murder of Engineer Sam! Follow us on Twitter @Unspooled, and don’t forget to rate, review & subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts.

This episode is brought to you by LightStream and Casper Mattresses.

Cam talks Delta Airlines, her rainbow pin and acrobats. Sets from Sabrina Jalees, Subhah Agarwal, M.K. Paulsen and Anna Seregina, and a chat with Will Weldon.

This episode is brought to you by Miss Jones (www.missjones.co code: pyht).

Holy moly! Who Charted celebrates 400 episodes with special guest co-host Kulap Vilaysack and milestone champion Steve Agee! They join Howard, Stard and Kev to dive into the Top 5 from the Billboard 200 while we find out what’s new in the World of Ku. Then, we’ll hear their take on the strangeness of the Swedish musical during the Movie Chart, and Howard pronounces a new cultural moment of the summah as the gang counts down their Hot Picks.

Adam Scott Aukerman are back together this week to discuss all of R.E.M.’s collaborations. They also talk about Scott being trapped in a parking lot for hours as The Cure played in concert, the cursing situation at their households, and Prince. Plus, an important update in another episode of “U Talkin’ U2 To Me?”.

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/rem).

Actor and activist LeVar Burton (LeVar Burton Reads, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Reading Rainbow) joins Andrew and Tawny to discuss if it’s racist to use the word “ghetto” when referring to cheaply made things, if a caller should step in and say something to his co-workers for mocking a fellow co-worker’s accent, and more. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Comedian Dina Hashem & Manolo’s nephews Tate (9) & Mason (6) join Jo & Manolo to play listener-created games with callers, including a special call from Andrew Ti (Yo, Is This Racist?).

Games played: Dr. Cola, Are You A Turd?, and Can You Remember What You Ate?

This episode is brought to you by The Venture Bros on Adult Swim.

Tina Nguyen is a staff reporter for Vanity Fair’s the Hive who joins Jonathan to talk about how reviewing a hamburger landed her in Trump’s crosshairs, shine some light on what is keeps the GOP’s hopes alive in 2018, the “Blue Wave”, navigating right-wing spaces, and more.

Find Tina Nguyen’s Review of Trump Grill: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/12/trump-grill-review .

Find Tina on Twitter @tina_nguyen and instagram @thelastnguyen

For more music from Quiñ head to TheQuinCat.com.

Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN. Also Twitter and Facebook.

Catch Jonathan on Queer Eye streaming now on Netflix.

This episode is sponsored by Enlightened Ice Cream (www.eatenlightened.com/pages/jvn), Pier1 (www.pier1.com), Vrai & Oro (www.truthandgold.com/jvn) and EverlyWell (www.everlywell.com code: JVN).

The Doughboys finally both come to the studio to do another Shrimp-Off with The Boys without the chewing sounds.

This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: THEBOYS), Harry’s (www.harrys.com code: HANDBOOK), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/theboys code: THEBOYS), and Simple Contacts (www.simplecontacts.com/THEBOYS20 code: THEBOYS20).

Murderinos! Karen Kilgariff shares ALL you need to know about her insanely popular podcast, My Favorite Murder… Also, Karen and Kevin talk early stand-up struggles. 

Jensen and Matty have a fireside chat as well as get you up on Denzel Curry’s new album “TA1300,” Bowflex SelectTech 552, how we were late on Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and many more things you should know about.

Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced while serving her country and she tells Geth all about them.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Caffe Monster.

Jess and Zach are live with the hilarious Baron Vaughn (Grace & Frankie, Corporate) from the JFL Comedy Festival with a brand new musical packed with fun on the bus, a guy name Brackets and bird friends! With songs like “My Clothes Are Dirty”, “Stalk That Guy”, and “Stop”, you definitely won’t stop listening to this ep. 

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/OFFBOOK).

Hey Wompsters, we’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled podcast to bring you a very special Ask Jess and Len, recorded live at The Largo in Los Angeles!

Entrepreneurs Jen and Berry join Scott to chat about their hometown of Saint Louie Obispo, California, being inseparable since birth, and their own line of organic frozen ice. Is there more than meets the eye with Jen and Berry? Tune in to find out!

This episode is brought to you by Hotel Tonight, Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/bangbang), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BANGBANG), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/CBB).

Paul F. Tompkins welcomes you back to the good ol’ show known as Spontaneanation! This time out, Paul’s special return guest is Sam Richardson of Veep and Detroiters! Sam chats about why he is here, coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t religious when he figured out Santa Claus wasn’t real, and what was his concept of God when he was little. Then, they are joined by improvisers Ally Beardsley, Ronnie Adrian, and Carl Tart, to improvise a story set at a High School Graduation. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

This episode is brought to you by Leesa (www.leesa.com/PFT).

Comedian Murray Hill sits down with Cameron to discuss the performance scene in New York, making your own space, and adapting to different audiences.

This episode is sponsored by BarkBox (www.barkbox.com/QUEERY) and Pact (www.wearpact.com code: QUEERY).