This week: “Uncle Croc’s Block”! “Murder on the Orient Express”! Peter Lorre does yellowface! Arnold Stang plays Felix Ungar! And Gilbert wins a date with Kermit the Frog!

Ahhhh, mid-March. Time to pack the bros, the beers and the board shorts into the station wagon and drive down to the beach because it’s SPRING BREAK WOOO. But instead of going to Florida or Cancún , the Cracked Podcast is taking a detour to 8 fictional locales.

Jack O’Brien is joined by special guest-host Daniel Van Kirk for trips to Amity Island, Zootopia, and GTA’s Vice City in our attempt to figure out best place to take a fictional vacation. They’re joined by comics Blake Wexler, Jamie Loftus, Alison Stevenson, Josh Androsky and Eric Lampaert for a journey that will take us through the lives of Fraiser, the Gilmore Girls and Satan.

Footnotes:

Blake Wexler on Twitter: https://goo.gl/WJtxjQ

Jamie  Loftus on Twitter: https://goo.gl/RokQpk

Alison Stevenson on  Twitter : https://goo.gl/eYyaOU

Josh  Androsky on Twitter : https://goo.gl/O5aQSO

Eric  Lampaert on Twitter : https://goo.gl/b70FTt

Squeezing cheeks with Diane Franklin.

This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron (www.blueaprond.com/NEVER) and Audible (www.audible.com/pardo).

Renowned Democratic pollster Stan Greenberg has advised the likes of Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and Nelson Mandela. But he first made a name for himself studying white working class voters. His seminal 1985 report on so-called Reagan Democrats examined why auto workers were abandoning the Democratic Party in Macomb County, Michigan. Greenberg joins Katie and Brian to discuss how the 2016 election gave him déjà vu, why he’s been spending time in Macomb again and what he’s hearing from Trump supporters there. Plus, a caller in Chicago gets on the line to explain why she went from being a lifelong Democrat to voting for Donald Trump.

This episode is brought to you by Toyota Highlander 2 and Ting Mobile.

Jason Mantzoukas, Sasheer Zamata, Noël Wells, Horatio Sanz, and Dan Deacon join Matt Besser for live scenes about confusing coffee shop measurements, selling celebrity turds on eBay, and a low-budget rock tour. Plus, Lou Reed seeks snacks, and Dan uses his electronic stylings to supplement a trip through the dreamscape.

This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/improv).

Co-host Cassandra Freeman fills in for Kamau this week to help Kevin address the recent hit “Get Out.” They toast to the special occasion and touch on the film’s take on the new “white people pass,” the strength of the supporting cast, and Jordan Peele’s superb directing abilities. Plus, Cassandra explains what the film got right about the feeling of “only-ness.”

This episode is sponsored by Audible (www.audible.com/denzel) and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/denzel).

This week Casey shares some exciting news and Danielle opens up about a painful, ill-gotten injury. The girls discuss Atlanta, Richard Simmons, Big Little Lies and the EXPLOSIVE episode of Beverly Hills that had Danielle feeling for Eileen and Casey calling for Dorit and PK to be publicly lit on fire and burned. The bough finally breaks- and bough = Erika Jayne.

This episode is brought to you by Psychic Source (www.psychicsource.com code: HOUSEWIVES), Boss Bitch, Today Tix (www.todaytix.com code: HOUSEWIVES), and Dirty Lemon (www.dirtylemon.com).

Speaker Of The House Paul Ryan (Matt Newell) comes to Hard Nation to defend his health care plan, do some man-Kegels and play Eat, Piggy, Eat with Mark. Later, Pete uses his Freudian magic to help Paul confront his demons (and get his Instagram password).

This episode is brought to you by MyHopscotch (www.myhopscotch.com code: HARD).

Episode 1: Aparna Nancherla – The Richardsonian Method of Dream Analysis

Our inaugural episode kicks off with dreams about 80s pop superstar Huey Lewis, demon children with pink eye, and the age old question of whether Yoo-hoo is for children or adults. Plus, special guest Aparna Nancherla reminisces about the post-apocalyptic dreams of her childhood.

Go to www.casper.com/dreams and use the offer code “DREAMS” for $50 off your next mattress purchase.

You can listen to the full series of In Your Dreams with Chris Gethard now on Earwolf!

Actor and writer Eliot Glazer (Broad City, New Girl) joins Andrew to talk about how he’s dealing with the Trump era, Tim Allen comparing being a conservative in Hollywood to living in Nazi Germany, Morrissey selling James Baldwin “Black Is How I Feel on the Inside” shirts, and much more. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

This episode is brought to you by Seeso (www.seeso.com code: YO).

Actress and improviser D’Arcy Carden (The Good Place) joins Howard and Kulap for this week’s Who Charted! She helps Howard reenact a Coffee Bean confrontation before they count down The Top 5 Shazam Songs of the Week, and we hear of meth zombies and Kulap’s award aspirations during the TV Chart. Later, Howard assesses the French influence on his cell phone while they down Kevin’s Hot Picks on Two Charted.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CHARTED), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: WHOCHARTED), and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/charted).

After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself traveling the world as a cruise ship musician. Get the behind-the-scenes details on life at sea and its secret black market economy, plus hear a very special Springsteen sing-a-long between two Jerseyites.

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful). 

Battle rapper and writer Rone joins Jensen and Matty to talk about teaching celebrities how to rap for Drop the Mic, compliment rap battles, Barstool Sports, Kingdom’s “Tears In The Club,” Shuffle-T, how we were late on The Binding of Isaac, and many more things you should know about.

Join Kevin as he sits down with Oscar-winning actor J.K. Simmons (Whiplash, I’m Not Here). J.K. accepts the KPCS Award for Most Digressions, and chats about bogarting parts, alpha stacking, and playing the lead role in “Cowboy: The Musical”.

This episode is brought to you by Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/chat) and Audible (www.audible.com/KPCS).

Sean and Hayes introduce a strategy for online. Then KULAP VILAYSACK joins them in studio to help debut a new chart.
This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/handbook) and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: HANDBOOK).

Taylor Tomlinson (Last Comic Standing) joins Emily and Deanna this week for conversations about finding her niche in comedy at sixteen, Adam DeVine’s House Party, and the perks of the Amazon Fire Stick. Plus, the girls shoot rapid-fire questions at Taylor to find out more about her stances on sexy photo safety, her favorite pop singers, and the fast pace of content creation.

This episode is sponsored by ThirdLove (www.thirdlove.com/omfg) and Audible (www.audible.com/omfg).

A brief glance at the cartoon version of America makes you think the South is pretty racist. Look at them, with their Confederate flags and voter ID laws! But while you were sleeping, the blue states were up to some pretty racist shit too. It’s just that they’ve got better PR.

For example, one of the biggest and most violent anti-segregation fights in US history didn’t take place in 1950s Mississippi or Alabama, but 1970s Boston. The 70s! In Massachusetts! The land of Kennedys, Afflecks and liberal arts colleges was faced with the desegregation of schools and was like, “yo George Wallace, hold my beer!”

To discuss some of the secretly f#&*ed up modern history of the United States, Jack O’Brien and Michael Swaim are joined by the guys from ‘The Dollop’: Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds. They discuss the Boston busing riots of the 70s, the comically-liberal blue state with secret ties to the KKK and why we’re about to live through the Enron crisis all over again.

Footnotes:

The Dollop: https://goo.gl/8O7wNl

The Dollop’s List of Sources: https://goo.gl/gxXHza

Podcast: The Dollop: Boston Busing 1974: https://goo.gl/BUPukJ

Podcast: The Dollop: Oregon and the Ku Klux Klan: https://goo.gl/x4rrUf

Podcast: The Dollop: Enron: https://goo.gl/3bWy1J

Image: 11 Nations of America Map: https://goo.gl/vYXCPQ

Article: US News & World Report: A Flag, A Busing Fight and a Famous Photograph: https://goo.gl/bxvKSZ

Documentary: BBC: HyperNormalisation: https://goo.gl/77XQpb

Article: Buzzfeed News: How Teens in the Balkans Are Duping Trump Supporters With Fake News: https://goo.gl/kyOEKO

Video: Oregon Whale Explosion: https://goo.gl/gd5iPo

The Cracked Podcast: Why Class in America Isn’t Just About Income: https://goo.gl/2tliZx

Article: Siderea: Class (American): https://goo.gl/tlmX4S

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CRACKED), and Coca Cola & Powerade (www.coke.com/alwaysready.)

In an effort to introduce and explain the podcast to the unfamiliar or uninitiated, Gilbert and Frank assemble a collection of highlights from the first 140+ episodes, including memorable moments with Matthew Broderick, Howie Mandel, “Weird” Al Yankovic, Chevy Chase and Bob “Super Dave” Einstein (among others). Also, Uncle Junior sings, Al Jaffee turns tragedy into comedy, John Amos sends up Leonard Bernstein and Joey Pants spends a quiet day with the family. PLUS: Skelton Knaggs! Misbehaving Munchkins! Marlon Brando snubs the Academy! Slappy White makes a run for it! And Gilbert (finally) reveals his true self!

Dr. Martinia Johansson joins Scott this week to talk about the challenges of being a physician as well as owning a Quiznos, previously working at a Subway, and believing that bugs are robots. Then, nail technician Tracy Evigan of Stiletto Nail Bar in Hermosa Beach stops by to talk about her signature Day Glow colors and her brother Greg whose an actor known for My Two Dads. Plus, celebrity photographer Toluca Graves arrives to explain how he takes very intimate photos of various celebrities.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: BANGBANG), Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/bangbang), and Legal Zoom (www.legalzoom.com/startup).

Whatever happened to the man from Earth, the badger and the wizard?

Credits
Arnie: Arnie Niekamp
Chunt: Adal Rifai
Usidore: Matt Young
Baron Ragoon: Chris Rathjen
Blemish: Martin Wilson
Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz
Theme Music: Andy Poland
Magic Tavern Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: MAGIC) and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/first).

Paul F. Tompkins welcomes ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and sloths to Spontaneanation! This week, Paul’s special guest is Andrew Ti of Yo, Is This Racist! They chat about what Andrew does for exercise, how almost getting in several bar fights led to him getting glasses, and starting a ping pong club in high school where ping pong was never played. Paul is then joined by Jordan Black, Stephanie Courtney, and Tawny Newsome, to improvise a story set in A High-End Boxing Gym. And as always, Eban (only the best) Schletter scores it all on piano!

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: PFT).

HDTGM All-stars Gillian Jacobs and Claudia O’Doherty of Netflix’s Love join Paul and Jason to discuss the 1991 horror thriller film Body Parts. Recorded live from Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles, they cover everything from the quiet to loud serious acting to the handcuff car chase to turtlenecks. Plus, everyone shares their thoughts on adults wearing pajamas.

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

This episode is brought to you by SKYN condoms (www.buycondoms.online code: BONKERS), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: BONKERS), Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BONKERS), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, blast off! Welcome back to Space Cadets, the only podcast broadcast from a real life spaceship that is accidentally still in orbit after 7 years. Engineer Molly Buttress (Mary Holland), Thrust and Fuel Specialist Sheila Petuni (Erin Whitehead), Navigation’s Debbie Chord (Stephanie Allynne), and Mission Specialist Becca (Lauren Lapkus) gift each other GIFs, open up during Vulnerability In Space, and read their horoscopes. Plus, Traci Reardon calls in to help her Twitter followers with advice about being trapped in space & space travel in another edition of “Help Me, Rhonda.”

Comedian Pete Holmes (Crashing) joins the Sklars this week to communicate deep thoughts! Randy and Jason cover the World Baseball Classic as their story of the week and chat with Pete about the thrills of having his own show, the golden age of the Italian voice, and the powers of meditation. During Quick Hits, they talk about Arian Foster’s wolf gambit and Russia’s new sport, and finally, the Sklars call Nicolage Cage to check in on his troubled son.

This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/happy).

Sopan Deb (New York Times) and J.R. Havlan (The Daily Show) join Negin to talk about the future of the EPA, the Congressional Budget Office’s report on the GOP health care bill, and the Pope’s seeming openness to ordaining married men.  Plus, Congress could make it easier to get gun silencers.

This week Bryan shares his interest in finding out if Parade magazine has a website, while Erin wonders if coincidences are fun. Also, Trumpcare is here and it’s here to destroy reproductive rights and services for women. Plus, the Trump administration recently rolled back the rights of Transgender students in Public schools to use the bathroom they identify with which has already started stirring up hate speech and discrimination against them.

Please enjoy the fourth Earmovie of Season 3, “The Hounds of Rearden” written by Sean Geraghty. It stars Cooper Thornton (Peter), James Callis (Sir Julius/Cortez), Greg Itzin (Sen. Warren/Hunter), Charles Shaughnessy (Cromwell/Clark), Sachin Bhatt (Raj/Ranger #1), Gregg Daniel (Leopold), Andrew Roa (Johnny Napoleon), Ben Lawson (Hastings/Collins), Laura Kai Chen (Khan), and Franklin Leonard (Narrator).

The one and only Lady Bunny, drag queen, DJ, and founder of the annual Wigstock event joins Sarah and Susan to talk about clowns, wedding crying, To Kill A Mockingbird, Precious, and Horace Faith’s “Black Pearl.”

This episode is brought to you by Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/babies).

This week: Zeppo opts out! Groucho holds a grudge! Woody Allen offers advice! And the “genius” of Irving Thalberg! 

Cooling down with Jen Kirkman.

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: PARDO), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/happy), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/pardo).