We chat with Melchoir, The Keeper of the Doom Horn that Blows at World’s End. Really hoping he doesn’t blow it.

Credits

Arnie: Arnie Niekamp

Chunt: Adal Rifai

Usidore: Matt Young

Melchoir: Alex Eilhauer

Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen

Craig: Ryan DiGiorgi

Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi

Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi

Theme Music: Andy Poland

If you could go anywhere in time to live the rest of your life, where would you go? It probably depends on what you’re looking for. Would you be looking to live in a time of relative peace, a time of great technological advancement, or simply a time where there wasn’t some horrible plague killing off everybody you know and love? Doc Brown thought he had it all in the 1880s, but that period probably wouldn’t be super awesome if you were a woman or a minority. Actually most time periods would be pretty bad in those circumstances. Not to mention that humans knew nothing about medicine and just generally not dying all the time until very recently. So obviously it’s a difficult question with an unclear answer: when was the best time in human history to be alive? Hell, the answer might just be today. As in, whatever day you’re reading this. This is the best day. To figure out this question, Jack O’Brien is first joined by Peter Stearns, author and professor at George Mason University to talk about the place of happiness in human history: which civilizations had it, which didn’t, and when and where were they? Later, Jack talks about Cracked Podcast pet subject the Flynn Effect with none other than Jim Flynn, the guy who put his name on it. If every generation is getting slightly smarter than the last, how does that affect quality of life, and is there a limit to how smart humans can get?

Footnotes:

Peter Stearns, ‘Teaching Consumerism in World History’: http://goo.gl/dO3XrD

The Flynn Effect Summary of Findings: http://goo.gl/AYYIYO

Smithsonian Interview with James Flynn: http://goo.gl/rX1AZn

James Flynn’s Torchlight Reading List: http://goo.gl/iVkaLY

James Flynn TED Talk: https://goo.gl/i6vw2v

Comedians Kat Ahn and Abby Brosh join Andrew all this week to answer some racism questions. Today they discuss a caller’s many questions including calling a restaurant Chinaman. Be sure to call us at (323) 389-RACE to ask if anything is racist.

Devin and Amy break down Billy Wilder’s “The Lost Weekend.” They discuss the film’s depiction of alcoholism in the 1940s, the accuracy of struggling to write after drinking and Devin’s next-level jukebox trolling. Cast your vote in the Earwolf forums to decide if “The Lost Weekend” should be in The Canon. Also, make sure to get a head start on next week’s foreign film “Pather Panchali.”

The Shrimps take on the Red Carpet live from the TriBeCa Film Festival. Matt Gourley and Mark McConville call the action. Morgan Spurlock has the news.

The Shrimps on Twitter: @pistolshrimpsbb
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Matt Gourley on Twitter and IG: @MattGourley
Mark McConville on Twitter and IG: @MarkMcConville

You probably know Andy Cohen as the host of Bravo’s Watch What Happens: Live – the man who brought The Real Housewives into your living room, or bedroom and revolutionized the world of reality TV. He’s not afraid to share himself with the world and this week’s inaugural episode is no exception: David and Andy talk about where The Real Housewives came from, how Andy he realized he was gay while high on mushrooms at a live Eddie Murphy show, and about the time Andy went head to head with Gloria Steinem over feminism and The Real Housewives. Subscribe to The David Gregory Show for new episodes every week. It’s your chance to eavesdrop on surprising conversations with famous and interesting people, and hear them get personal about their beliefs, faith, and the things that have mattered most in their lives.

HDTGM All-Stars Pete Holmes and Cameron Esposito join Paul and Jason LIVE from the world famous Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles to discuss the 1980 Village People biopic Can’t Stop the Music. The film won the very first Razzie award for Worst Picture. They will cover everything including the fact that movie is PG but has dicks in it, the Baskin-Robbins product placement, and the milkshake song. Don’t forget to check out Blake Harris’ Oral History of Can’t Stop the Music over at www.slashfilm.com! Get yourself a BB-8 “What Is Its Mission?” T-shirt or Tote Bag over at http://howdidthisgetmade.bigcartel.com/ Set your DVRs for Party Over Here, a new FOX sketch comedy show from The Lonely Island and Paul starring Nicole Byer, Jessica McKenna, and Alison Rich. It airs Saturdays at 11 pm. People of the internet: Watch Paul in Fresh off the Boat on ABC. Awhile ago, Paul and Rob Huebel did a comedy special on a 60 foot glass bus that traveled around LA. Now you’ll be able to see it. Go to https://itun.es/us/3M4J9 now to buy it! You can also see Jason in Transparent on Amazon! Also, check out June in Grace and Frankie available on Netflix, and in all the episodes of NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU for free, and Jason in The Dictator (he’s still in it!).

Welcome back to The Gift Suite with your host and well known empath Marla Vanjine (Mo Collins)! Marla views her gift of feeling what other people feel as both a gift and a curse. This week she welcomes another gifted person by the name of Teti. Teti has the gift and curse of being able to conjure up those who have passed. On this very special episode, Teti helps Marla contact her birth mother from the great beyond. Later, Traci Reardon stops by to help her Twitter followers with advice on dealing with your own gifts in another edition of “Help Me, Rhonda.”

Actress Illeana Douglas describes her memoir, “I Blame Dennis Hopper,” to Randy and Jason. She recounts living in a commune full of hippies as a child and the impact of “Easy Rider” on her life and career. Later, the Sklars bring some Quick Hits of someone who shouldn’t be talking about boxing and a baseball player busting his belt from such a hard swing. Plus, Randy and Jason call Steven Seagal who talks about checking his email at the library and what he did on his birthday.

Kelly Carlin, Molly Ephraim, Erik Patterson, Glenn Davis and Sam Kieffer join Nate to discuss Slyvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar.” Listen to the compelling reasons to read Plath’s beautiful, hilarious and heart-wrenching story of the surreal fall into mental illness. If you’ve already read the novel, grab your weathered copy and enjoy the break down of Buddy, Esther, DeeDee and the rest of the gang. Start next month’s book, Kent Haruf’s “Our Souls at Night,” now!

Andrew Ti and special guest comedian Solomon Georgio finish the week off by discussing if putting Sriracha sauce on everything is racist. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Bitch Sesh favorite guest June Diane Raphael by Alene Too joins Casey and Danielle! They delve into the nitty gritty of Dorinda’s psyche, June goes out on a limb for Luanne’s niece and they all bemoan low lights gone awry. Also the theme song from Southern Charm is sung. Twice.

We’re pretty certain Oliver can sniff out fear and exhaustion because this week Bryan lived his nightmare and ran into Erin while working out. Also American Idol runner up La’Porsha Renae was raised to hate gay “lifestyles” and two astronomy professors need a good butt kicking for sexually harassing female students. WWGD? What would Galileo do?

Rob Corddry, Erinn Hayes, and Brian Huskey of Adult Swim’s Childrens Hospital join Scott and intern Gino Lambardo for a very special episode of Comedy Bang! Bang! They look back at their fondest memories of the show as it is coming to an end and pitch possible spin-off shows starring your favorite Childrens Hospital characters. Later, podcast host Gustav Dudamel stops by the studio to tell us about his podcast Drama Shoot! Shoot! in which he invites actors who deal with drama to play characters.

Actress, director, screenwriter Illeana Douglas (Goodfellas, Cape Fear, Ghost World, To Die For) joins Sarah and Susan to talk about her book I Blame Dennis Hopper: And Other Stories from a Life Lived In and Out of the Movies, a Swedish folk song used in her web-series Easy To Assemble, being in a play in which she had to cry every night, Splendor in the Grass, and Ordinary People.

Hillary Frank got into radio by breaking the rules, using a boombox and an answering machine to produce a segment for This American Life. She is the host of the leading parenting podcast The Longest Shortest Time, which joined Earwolf in January 2016. On this episode of The Wolf Den Hillary tells Adam the This American Life story, and explains how working as a freelance radio producer and a difficult child birth led her to create her podcast. They discuss how her expectations shifted as the podcast became successful in its own right, and why Hillary decided to bring The Longest Shortest Time to Earwolf. Finally, Hillary offers some trenchant and unconventional advice for aspiring podcasters.

Rocking hard with Pat Francis.

If Donald Trump gets elected to be the next President of the United States, would all of his detractors’ fears become realized, or might he actually do a decent job? James poses this hot button issue as a theoretical exercise for Stephen, who takes a plunge into the murky political waters. Regardless of his opinions, however, Stephen does have an interesting take on Trump’s bravado, stemming from a confidant of another New York billionaire-turned-government executive, Michael Bloomberg.

Solomon Georgio and Andrew to talk about to protest or not protesting. Make sure to leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Jon Daly, Seth Morris and Neil Campbell join Matt Besser for a live episode of improv4humans at UCB Sunset. Political man-on-the-street interviews inspire scenes about voting for change and a struggling paid protestor. Also, a family has emotional last rites for an incredible shirt, and a new intern pitches Besser videos ideas for the next live show. Sign up for Seeso.com to watch Besser’s stand-up special “Besser Breaks the Record” and “The UCB Show,” which were filmed live in UCBLA.

A Denzealot calls in to break down the Denzel Watchingthon in Austin, TX. Then, actor and director Michael Rapaport joins Kamau and Kevin to describe what makes Denzel prolific and why the movie business is in jeopardy. Check out United Shades of America on CNN April 24th and Kamau’s first comedy special, “Semi-Prominent Negro,” on Showtime April 29th.

Sen. Ted Cruz (Paul F. Tompkins) talks about why he empathizes with candles and his fantasy Ghostbusters reboot. Plus: Pete plugs his children’s book “Even Starfish Can Consent.”

Lauren Lapkus fields questions about unicorns, poop, and a well-kept secret about Darth Vader. To join the conversation about this episode, go to longestshortesttime.com!

The Shrimps take on the Shecago Bulls at Pan Pacific Park. Matt Gourley and Mark McConville call the action.

The Shrimps on Twitter: @pistolshrimpsbb

The Shrimps on Instagram: thepistolshrimps

Pistol Shrimps Radio on Twitter: @ShrimpsRadio

Matt Gourley on Twitter and IG: @MattGourley

Mark McConville on Twitter and IG: @MarkMcConville

Joshua Burge is one of the nicest human beings on this Earth. He joins Matt this week to talk about his role as Stubby Bill in The Revenant. Joshua tells us about auditioning for Alejandro Iñárritu  learning how to shoot flintlocks, throw axes, and ride horses through survival bootcamp, the origin of the name Stubby Bill, and having a call and response with Tom Hardy’s character on set. Plus, in honor of the infamous CGI bear in The Revenant, Matt counts down his Top 3 Emotive Acting Moments Done with Computer Graphics.

This week, Leonard and Baron discuss the works of the extraordinary Cate Blanchett and focus on three films in which she disappears into her role: the great Notes On a Scandal, a movie that got a bum rap when it was released, and the Sam Raimi directed supernatural thriller The Gift.

Should all people be guaranteed taxpayer-funded all-you-can-eat healthcare from the government, or is it more American to let the current corporatist employer-negotiated model continue to be the standard? Wherever our hosts’ opinions land between those two polar opposite ideas, they definitely agree on one thing: Change doesn’t come easy.

Solomon Georgio and Andrew to talk about not being attracted to one group of people. Make sure to leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

Actress Maria Thayer joins Kulap and Engineer Brett on Who Charted. They share a love for laughter and a hometown Arby’s during the top 5 songs on Spotify chart. Maria talks about co-starring in the trueTV sitcom “Those Who Can’t” and movie theater etiquette in the movies chart. Also, Ku and Stard give updates on new summah music and Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ during Two Charted.

Join Kevin as he sits down with stand-up comedian and radio host Greg Fitzsimmons. Greg shares stories about Howard Stern, his father (also a radio host), and how training to be an actor is a little like therapy.