This week a talking flower named Flower will join Chunt, Usidore and I. She looks really sweet. I think we’ll be good friends.

David Bazan and Yuuki Mathews take time out of their west coast tour to sit down at Bro-Bro Studios with Horatio and Chad. Horatio and Dave reminisce about their 10 year friendship and how they met. Horatio reveals a secret about what is actually in his inhaler and Chad finally gets the intervention he’s been asking for and then runs. Joe Show comes by and breaks down the Blurred Lines of copyright law and the music industry. All music copyright David Bazan, except for that Shins song we used… oh and there is a second or two of Blurred Lines… maybe another one that just slipped past.

Bob finds himself in the rare position to help his special guest Melissa Staple (Erin Gibson) raise awareness on the new movement of being your inner parent. Melissa tells us about how she discovered her inner parent philosophy, why you should release your own parents to successfully be your own parents.

NOTE: Outer parents will not be discussed in this podcast.

It’s squirrel pummeling time. And this time it’s serious. Plus, we learn a little more about the definition of the curb stomp.

Howard and Kulap, as played by Jason Mantzoukas, kick off the show with a classic test of who has given their fans a better out of body experience. Then, Jason and Howard are joined by fellow host Kulap Vilaysack! Kulap drops by the studio to offer some very insider information as to why she was tardy to this week’s recording. Additionally, our crew discusses the many facets of living in France, including greeting cards, pick-pockets, ladies, and the general smell. Later, Jason and our hosts write an original song, live in the studio. Lastly, Jason fields questions from Chartists, wherein he reveals how he discovered what funny was.

Sean and Hayes open the show with a breakdown of how a table read works and update us on the status of the pilot from the last episode. Then, SHELBY FERO comes back to the show to talk about writing on Robot Chicken and the space show, reminisce on skateboarding with Sean, and make a shocking confession. Then, the guys bring out some cigarettes to share with Shelby and a modified Popcorn Gallery makes an appearance.

Join Kevin and company LIVE from the Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts as he chats with TV’s Matthew Perry (Friends, The Odd Couple). Games are played, some audience questions, and show business tales are told all before a live audience.

Tig, Kyle, and David start off with a discussion about different ways to die. Then, Cy Amundson, a  comedian from Minneapolis, stops by the hatch to talk about living with OCD, different perspectives on mental illness,  exposure therapy, and the gang chats about Kyle’s measly salary and reads listener mail.

Randy and Jason welcome to the show stand up, writer, and longtime friend, Jordan Rubin, who offers some very inside information pertaining to the curious case of Robert Durst, during which time, surprise guest Robert Durst, joins the show. Additionally, Jordan talks about some of his upcoming projects, including why a story about zombie beavers is the only story that needs to be told. Then, Daniel Van Kirk covers stories from around the world that include the notorious bowel movement bandit and a young man whose machete wielding ways has aged him dramatically.

Here are two scenarios that might properly contextualize Harrison Ford in light of his recent plane crash into a Santa Monica golf course:

One. He’s Hollywood’s Mr. Magoo: a hapless, sensory-challenged old man who creates a chain reaction of havoc and destruction with every misplaced step he takes.

Two. He’s Wile E. Coyote. His dream job is actually to be a pilot, so he chases that dream (Road Runner) at every chance he gets, using exceedingly shoddy 1940s era machinery and avionics, only to wind up, yet again, in a full-body cast.

Do we know anything about Harrison Ford or what drives him? No. Does Harrison Ford listen to podcasts? Probably not. Has he torn his ACL twice while acting? You bet he has. And that’s all we need for this week’s episode, wherein Cracked editor-in-chief Jack O’Brien is joined by Soren Bowie and Kristi Harrison to talk about some celebrity pet theories that explain their lunatic behavior.

They discuss Harrison Ford’s aforementioned plane crash and how it relates to Bruce Willis’ strange music career, how Garth Brooks is either the world’s greatest diva or the universe’s least humanoid space alien, and then discuss theories on the deaths of Whitney Houston and Elvis Presley.

This week Devin and Amy submit their first comedy for Canon consideration: the 1998 Farrelly Brothers’ flick There’s Something About Mary. Does Cameron Diaz deserve more credit for being a fantastic actress? Would you categorize the movie as a “romantic” comedy? And almost 20 years later, what’s more unnerving: the semen gag or Mary’s disabled brother Warren? Tune in for the discussion– and head to the forums on Wolfpop to cast the deciding vote!

Melinda was always anxious. When she had kids, she became even more anxious. But she kept it secret from everyone, afraid she’d destroy her image as a “model minority.”

Our next movie is the result of Jaws drinking a Four Loko, also LL Cool J is in it. Paul goes through some Corrections and Omissions for Safe Haven, gives a controversial answer to whether Safe Haven would have been better with Nicolas Cage, shares some great Picks of the Week, and answers all your orange juice questions.

The very hilarious Drew Droege joins Ronna & Beverly to chat about growing up wanting to be a serious actor, how Melissa McCarthy inspired him to join the Groundlings, why the candy industry is ruining candy, the coined term lesbian bed death, and being the drunkest he’s ever been on his Drunk History appearance. Plus, the ladies remind everyone of the Purim story.

Andy Daly had the idea of making a U2 podcast way before the creation of U Talkin’ U2 To Me? and now he finally is glad to present the very first episode of Me 2 I’m Talkin’ U2 To U Too! Joining Andy this week is Amoeba Records employee Allison Gondry to discuss U2’s first album Boy. They’ll talk about how they first were introduced to U2, the origin of the album’s title, and tease the next episode all about October. Later, Traci Reardon arrives to offer advice to her Twitter followers on how to make someone like BBQ sauce and much more in her recurring segment, “Help Me, Rhonda.”

Randy and Jason kick off the episode with the one thing you can do to make yourself hate the one percent, even more! Additionally, the Sklars discuss topics from around the nation that include a little league coach who blows the whistle on illegal recruiting, only to later get drunk and forget which house he lives in, and a Lingerie Football League player who sues who former boss. Then, the Sklars welcome to the show Jerry Minor, who talks about his road to SNL and his upbringing in Michigan. Additionally, the Sklars, as joined by Jerry, give analysis on the NBA, the NCAA, concussions and contract years. Later, in quick hits, the gang discusses bad ballpark food, a very talented MMA fighter, and an NFL wife who doesn’t know how to pick her battles. Lastly, Jesse Thorn, our resident fantasyoligist, gives insider information to help you draft the best team of schoolteachers on the market today.

The gang kicks off this week’s episode of Two Charted with talk about haircuts of the past, ring tones of the future, Howard’s big announcement about the latest Gu Cruise ventures. Then, as aided by Stard, the gang discusses the origin of the American Jacuzzi, as well as the migration behaviors of turtles. Later, Howard reveals the greatest and only way to watch film and TV with a new method known as “hour spackling.” Additionally, Kulap reveals the one documentary that everyone needs to watch tonight. Lastly, the crew wraps up with gifts, but not before Howard picks a fight with technology.

Andrew Ti and special guest Molly Lambert finish the week off by discussing the success of Run the Jewels. As always, leave us a message about anything you think is racist at (323) 389-RACE.

This week, a new guest joins Chunt, Usidore, and I in the Vermilion Minotaur: A common, dirty traveler named Tom. I’m hoping to hear what life outside of Hogface is like from someone who has traveled across Foon.

Singer-songwriter Allison Weiss joins Tim Meadows, Lauren Lapkus, and Eugene Cordero in her secret sad dance party in musical episode of improv4humans with Matt Besser! Allison plays songs that inspire scenes about how the way people eat is the exact way they are in relationships, a day in the life of DJ Mofo, and a husband who finds everything he says funny. Make sure to get the Upright Citizens Brigade television show season 3 now available on DVD, the UCB Comedy Improv Manual, and Allison Weiss’ albums over at www.allisonw.com!

Reporting for duty with Graham Elwood.

Molly Lambert & Andrew talk about why Africa is called The Dark Continent. Don’t forget to keep leaving us messages by calling (323) 389-RACE.

This week Kevin “One Scene Watcher” Avery & W. Kamau “Innovative Podcaster” Bell discuss Denzel’s film debut in 1974‘s Death Wish. They talk about how the movie is basically a low rent version of The Punisher, Jeff Goldblum playing one of the thugs in the trigger warning scene, why Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t have to run if he doesn’t want to, and the 54 second scene that Denzel is in. Plus, they discuss how Denzel Washington Is the Greatest Brand Strategist of All Time, the Centric network’s Ladies Love Denzel weekend, and Denzel’s book “A Hand to Guide Me.” Pick up Denzel’s book here: http://www.amazon.com/Hand-Guide-Me-Denzel-Washington/dp/0696230496

Corrine Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson, co-creators of “Guys we Fucked: The Anti-Slut Shaming Podcast” hang out for a late night in the studio with Horatio, Chad, Seth Herzog a host of callers and Harrison Ford’s brain. Jerry Minor is stuck in the Singularity still inside Hector’s dispensary and we hear a taste of New York Juan, yet another of Horatio’s parallel lives. The studio continues to fold in on itself as we find out what really caused the car accident from episode five.

Kulap and Howard start off the show by officially announcing the arrival of spring, as well as a special achievement that has been accomplished in the world of Gu Cruise. Then, our hosts are joined by stand up comedian Kate Berlant, who talks about her most recent tour, wear in she traveled the country by bus, as well as her future comedy shows in Germany. Additionally, during the movie chart, Howard explains why God is such a nice guy that he’ll even help people that are stuck in the snow. Lastly, while fielding questions from Chartist’s, Kate talks about how she celebrated International Woman’s Day.

Bob is given the chance to speak to extraterrestrial light beings with the help of channeler & medium Leni (Suzi Barrett) formerly known as Debbie Davis. We’ll learn how Leni gained the ability to contact the Pleiadians, the most disturbing and uplifting message she has received from these light beings, and they’ll attempt to connect with their plane of reality.

The gang is back and they got some blue giant ass to kick. With grenades. Also, Blaine shares a dick story.

Molly Lambert & Andrew talk about the definition of the word “racist.” Be sure to keep leaving us messages at (323) 389-RACE.

Jensen & Matty are taking calls from the Bunheads once again to find out what we should get up OFF. We talk about buying records at Urban Outfitters, hating on Kanye, bucket hats, being polite to millennials, Tosh.0, Matty’s Steam video game picks, giving directions, and much more. We’ll also find out if Jensen’s past love Marissa calls in, whether Jensen should stop putting product in his hair, and will Matty get engaged four months from now.