If Vitali Klitschko thinks he can be the President of Ukraine, I believe we should nominate Maria Bamford for President of Sklarbro Country. She will rule the country with a sober fist, she will reform the laws regarding Monopoly, she’s both a diplomat AND a cheerleader, and she’s not afraid to ask for coaching when she needs it. Do all you BamFans agree? She’d make Sklarbro Country a welcome place where Bruce Jenner could come to forget about Kim’s failed marriage and Cristiano Ronaldo could reset his email settings. Bamford 2012!

In a perfect world, everyone would get to attend a weekend retreat with the beautiful, talented, charming, and hilarious Grey DeLisle. She’s an incredible voice over actress, one of the funniest twitterers (@StephanieClient) and much to our delight, an Oprah fan! This week she grants us access to her amazing voice and talks to us about dick sizes and butt sex (what else?)! Enjoy!

After the outrageous success of the last tone poem, Bob has once again put quill to scroll. Turn off your anxious thoughts, tell your worries to come back later, and let your brain soak in the nectar of Rattle Crackle Crunch Tang.

According to Ben Gigli of 5 Second Films, making friends with your fellow content providers is imperative to having success online. We took that advice before he even gave it and had him on The Wolf Den to discuss Youtube monetization, understanding content platforms, and the impossible task of predicting merchandise success. Joining him is Dave Mancherje, our financial guru, who helps us understand Amazon Affiliates, AdSense, and everything else intimidating to industry newcomers.

Let’s all sell out, shall we? Let’s all go on television sets and get pushed around for a paycheck. Let’s give up on our life goals and resign to babysitting rich assholes. Let’s plan a totally self-centered “charity” show. Let’s skip out on jury duty, check into a cheap motel, and OD on Ibuprofen 800. Lord knows Drew, Sam, and Beth are going to!

Doug Benson: Consumer of cannabis, lover of movies, Broadway aficionado, and an absolute master of the charts! Doug makes appearance number two this week and we have prepared for him the Weekend Box Office Chart, the Billboard Country Music Chart, and a sticky icky bowl of Chart Cheeba. Seattle: Don’t forget to come see us tomorrow at Chop Suey for the FIRST EVER  WHO CHARTED? LIVE with special guest Sir Mix-A-Lot! Woot!

We got one heck of a listener letter this week from a harried housewife with some health questions pertaining to her flower bed. Thanks for your letter Susie, and be sure to keep us updated on your lawn and garden.

We watched Leprechaun in the Hood, as you probably expected we would. Kumail Nanjiani is our guest, and he put this bad movie to the test. I realize these rhymes aren’t great, but this movie isn’t exactly first rate. Contain your howls and shrieks, and we’ll see you back here next week!

We’ll probably never know how this crazy world came to be, but it’s still fun to theorize. Big Bang Theory, Multiverse Theory, Bubble Theory, it all sounds confusing and complicated to us so we’ve brought previous guest Robert Ike back to simplify it (as much as possible). It’s a real baryon of a show!

This is not a podcast. This is Gelmania.

Whatever you do, don’t listen to this.

It seems as though every year around this time something awfully spooky washes over this podcast and takes it in a devilish direction. I’m sorry to say that this year is no different, with guests like the dreadful Beuford and Messmore le Barron of Suicide House and the frightful Ghost Boy. Hopefully the positive energy of Neil Campbell will be enough to prevent your nightmares, but I won’t make any promises! If you find yourself too scared following this episode, follow these directions: Listen to the Bumbershoot Comedy Bang Bang recordings, and swaddle yourself in a warm Comedy Bang Bang t-shirt. If that doesn’t work, well then I suppose we’ve done our job. Muahaha!

Tis the final day of our Halloween Boosical Spooktacular! Are you ready for the chills, thrills, frights and spooky sights. What about an important message about sisterhood, loyalty, and trust? No? Well how about boys dressing like girls! Spooky scary!

You’re going to see a lot of scary goblins and ghouls tonight. Know that not all witches and vampires have warts on their noses and blood soaked fangs. Some might just look like your lonely, middle-aged neighbor.

Ivan Reitman. Legendary director (Meatballs, Stripes, Ghostbusters, and so many more), producer (Private Parts, Up in the Air), and Canadian.

Paget Brewster gives the ladies a lesson in colonial history and the virtues of being with a younger man. And Ronna & Beverly help an ailing friend in two very different ways.

Folks, I don’t even know where to start on this one. We’ve got a doozy on our hands. You know you’re in for a treat when step-family sword fights, scrabble theft, and offensive puns are our biggest news stories. Joe Lo Truglio from The State talks to us about his leap from high school swimmer to college sketch comic and how important fantasy football is to him. Jesse Thorn must have been eavesdropping on the fantasy conversation because he closes up the show with what is perhaps the cutest and most cuddly fantasy report yet. Don’t miss the first of hopefully many installments of Sklarington Manor, our sister podcast from across the pond courtesy of our friends from Snuff Box. This episode gets a Henderson! Osbaldiston! Folks! AND a Zoom!

When we decided to invite Rachel Bloom to our humble abode, we never expected it to turn out like this! I mean, we predicted that she would be funny and charming and sweet but she sure conjured up something spoooooky! Try not to get too scared as our podcast is basically seized by specters and ghouls. Happy Halloween everybody! Enjoy!

Trick or treat, smell my feet, I’m sorry that they’re swollen from eating too many sweets.

Two of our first ever Glitter in the Garbage guests are back this week and I think you’ll see why we insisted on their return. Whether they’re at group therapy, a parent-teacher conference, or a dumb lunch date, Pete and Colleen are hilarious, enlightening, and totally not Nazis! It’s the perfect mid-week pick me up, so smoke a nug or do a bump and come join us!

Jimmy Pardo came to Earwolf to record Who Charted? and we couldn’t let him leave without a good solid brain-picking on the world of podcasting. His show Never Not Funny played (and continues to play) such a important role in the growth and development of podcasting as an industry and the story of his career is beyond fascinating. Pardo fans, podcast hosts, potential entertainers and practically everyone else can find something inspiring in Jimmy’s story. We hope you enjoy.

It’s a starlight night here in the chart orchard and we’ve got three musketeers here to prep you with some charts before Halloween: Howard, Kulap, and our special guest Jimmy Pardo! Jimmy logs off the Chicago message boards for long enough to talk Billboard Halloween Charts, weekend box office results, and play a quick round of chart darts. Movie trivia, celebrity sightings, embarrassing Tom Petty stories, they’re all in here! And if you stop by Earwolf.com you can listen to our internet only bonus chart. Maybe you can do that while you pick up your Who Charted? LIVE tickets????

If cinema has taught us anything, it is that everyone has a bucket list. Even Bob? Even Bob! Why don’t you share your own bucket lists with us on theEarwolf forums? Thanks Jim!

What is there to say about love that hasn’t already been said? It lifts us up where we belong? Nope, been covered. It will lead you back? Nah, I think Taylor Dayne already told us that. Michael Jackson can’t stop doing it, Meat Loaf would do anything for it, and The Beatles think it’s all we need. Where do Tig, Kyle, and David fall on the issue? Find out this week on Professor Blastoff!

There are so many fantastically bad horror films we could have chosen for this Halloween episode of How Did This Get Made?! We’ve combined our love of cheesy horror and unnecessary sequels and selected Leprechaun in the Hood. Are you good at photoshop? This week’s game is for you. Design a better Leprechaun in the Hood poster for us and you might see it on Earwolf.com! Watch the movie, design the poster, get tickets for HDTGM LIVE, and have a spooky Halloween!

Boy, what a fun episode of Comedy Bang Bang we have today! Our old friend Harris Wittels is in the studio with a brand new edition of Harris’ Foam Corner. Our new friend Jon Heder makes a great first impression with an impressive round of Harris’ favorite game What Am I Thinking?! To top it off, our new acquaintance (I hesitate to call him a friend) Hank Williams, Jr. offers up some commentary straight from the zeitgeist and inspires a round of Alive or Dead as well as a ghastly rap battle. Making friends, cracking jokes, learning about each other, isn’t that what Comedy Bang Bang is all about?

Tonight the girls are performing at the Nerdist Theater, but not before they get some good spooks in on their radio show! It’s a freaky Monday over here as the girls encounter some suspicious Frenchmen and explore the dark arts (and each other’s bodies). Halloween is upon us, so avoid those awful haunted houses and enjoy The Apple Sisters’ Halloween Boosical Spooktacular!

You’ve heard Bob’s poetry. You’ve heard his product reviews. In a total chocolate-and-peanut butter incident, we’ve found the two combined for today’s episode. And, uh…sorry about last week.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia!

Steven Seagal is acting crazy, celebrities are buying basketball teams, and Philly fans are booing the fight against cancer. This can only mean one thing: It’s time for Sklarbro Country! Andy Kindler has finally reached the calming shores and his luggage includes great advice for young comics, insights into the music industry, tips on microphone protocol, and a burgeoning career in color commentary. Also joining us is Bryant Gumbel whose latest showbiz idea tops all his previous efforts. Check out The Sklar Brothers this weekend in Nashville, listen to the Sklarbro CountrySpotify playlist, and go punch a waterfall!

We were once bitter rivals, and now…best friends? Perhaps it’s too soon to tell, but we definitely adore Tommy Dassalo and Karl Chandler, two of our competitors in The Earwolf Challenge. They came to the U.S. for a brief trip and we just HAD to have them over to talk Australia, sexual harassment, travel stories, and VEGAS! They couldn’t have been nicer or funnier, so enjoy!