Ever wondered about the proper etiquette for drinking on stage? Or questioned whether or not to trip at Disneyland? If you’re having trouble finding your Summah Gum, deciding where to visit in Florida, or differentiating between white trash and emo, we have a very instructional episode for you today. Master punk rocker Warren Fitzgerald gives his advice for young, jumping rockers, and offers up a moratorium on vampires in Hollywood. In addition to Warren, we get visits from Hermes the Chart Goose and newcomer Sloppy Timmy Slotsman. Don’t you dare light up before you listen!

Eardrop is the 100-calorie pack of Earwolf. It’s just as deliciously hilarious as our other shows, but in a convenient travel size!

The debut episode of The Ronna & Beverly Podcast.

The Golden Globes took a lot of flack this year, and perhaps for good reason. After all, The Tourist did get three undeserved nominations. If you are one of the many people who didn’t see the film, either out of protest or a total lack of desire, we have a reason for you to watch it: Give us a better name for The Tourist. Leave your names here and on Facebook. See you on the other side!

There has been a major controversy populating the public consciousness lately: The rapture. So why not take some time to discuss the afterlife and what it entails? Our guest this week is Katy Bee-Wyatt, a youth pastor who can offer answers to questions like “What do the keys of  heaven look like?” and “Do souls have pagers?” David takes this opportunity to show off his extensive knowledge about whales and nirvana, and we even included a sing-along! So what about you, listener? Are you a Stephen Hawking or a Colton Burpo?

Eardrop is a daily uncensored morsel of comedy for our Earwolves to enjoy for five minutes or so a day.

If you aren’t yet glad you survived the rapture, you will be once you hear this episode of Comedy Bang Bang! Not only do we have the hilarious and talented Andy Richter, but we receive a visit from Earwolf’s very own Harold Camping: CAKE BOSS! Buddy Valastro tells us what heaven is like, just in case the rapture is upon us, and presents us with yet another bone-chilling tale of cake and death. There is just enough time for Who Said It before we put Buddy’s cake trance on hold for next week. Catch the exciting conclusion next Tuesday on Earwolf.

Actor, known for his roles in “The Shield”, “The Commish”, and more recently, “No Ordinary Family” sits down and chats with Kevin Pollak

He’s been a favorite in the TLP household for years thanks to his hilarious show, “10 Items Or Less” on TBS. We never could’ve guessed that comedian/writer/producer JOHN LEHR would one day be sitting in our dining room discussing scrotum reconstruction. It was truly a dream come true – Thanks to Missy at Hot Shot PR for connecting us! Enjoy.

Like Charles Oakley’s temper at a Vegas hotel, it’s heating up in Sklarbro Country! Matt Braunger takes a break from the booze to tell us about his Comedy Central pilot, his history in improv, and his realization about Jim Morrison. The ex-step-grandfather of Earwolf, Bob Ducca, makes his first trip to the calming shores to offer up some words of advice to you young, reckless athletes. If that, and some pole dancing talk, isn’t enough to get you riled up, we get a surprise visit from our favorite furry friend. If you don’t want to end up like Jay Mariotti, visit Legal Zoom and make sure your legal affairs are all in order.

AST, or A Special Thing, is quite enigmatic in that it’s a message board, a comedy news site, a record company, and the original internet home of many podcasts. Over the last ten years, Matt Belknap has turned his hobby for comedy and desire for articulate dialogue into a life for himself and has helped the career of many comedians at the same time. Learn this week how Matt cultivated his message board (and when it will get back to looking great), began his own record company, and essentially turned podcasting from a barren wasteland into a burgeoning business with Never Not Funny. Marc Maron interrupts the proceedings with a big announcement about his show WTF, leaving lots more behind-the-scenes Belknap for next week. See you then, and feel free to pass the time until then by writing an iTunes review.

It’s time to get in shape for summer! What does that mean exactly? Well, it means Drew, Mitch, and Phil are ready to primp you to perfection! Feelin’ a little chunky in that designer gown? We’ll help you out! Do you have an odd situation in your shorts? We can figure it out! Insecure about your race, height, intelligence, or comedy prowess? Okay, we can’t do anything about that, except to distract you with an hour of hilarity!

Few men are as well rounded as Paul “Rusty” Rust. He’s versed in country western music and power pop, performs in comedies and Nazi action thrillers, and checks off every other box necessary to be the perfect chartist. He joins Howard and Kulap this week for a game of Chart Roulette and manages to find time for a movie and country music chart. Prepare yourself for Howard’s brand-new characters: Laugh Factory and Puppy Thom Yorke. See you all next week, except for our female listeners who can always catch Kulap at the Lady Talk Chat Room.

John Cho, Actor, best known for his work in “Star Trek” and “Harold and Kumar”… okay, and “American Pie” as well (C’mon, we had to bring that up — That movie was huge)!

Eardrop is a daily uncensored morsel of comedy for our Earwolves to enjoy for five minutes or so a day.

With Professor Blastoff lost among the cosmos, it’s hard not to consider the possibilities contained within the stars. Alien life? Perhaps. How can we know? Do we trust crop circles, Puma Punku, or Qorton the Alien Channeler? How would the beings even get to Earth? Could they already be here? Keep leaving your comments and iTunes reviews, and check out this free download from Tig’s upcoming album “Good One.”

How do you make a movie like Mac and Me? We’ll give you the recipe: Take a bag of Skittles. Mix it with equal parts tired 80’s archetypes and bad CGI. Let it simmer in Coca-Cola while you go have an impromptu yet totally choreographed dance party. Carefully remove any traces of plot and serve with a side of french fries. There you have it, a recipe for a movie so stomach-churning that even the talented How Did This Get Made chefs, including Adam Pally, cannot make palatable. Enjoy!

There are three things our listeners have come to expect from Comedy Bang Bang: Inside information about Hollywood, brilliant improvisers, and drunken English roller-blading Christmas trees. Well this week is no exception! Matt Walsh makes a welcome return and brings with him The Hangover 2 co-writer Scot Armstrong and entertainment legend Sappity Tappity. Alive or Dead is resurrected, along with the Improv Scene of the Week, and we get a batch of limericks, a look into Hollywood auditions, and some post-improv chit chat. Join us on the Comedy Bang Bang Facebook page if you haven’t yet, and leave your comments here on Earwolf.

The result of our Facebook poll is in! Did you get confused between the awesome comic and the terrible movie known as Jonah Hex? Did your vote for Mac & Me come with a large Coke and a side of fries? Or did you get invaded by the aliens of Skyline while completing the questionnaire? Whichever one you picked, it’s time to watch it and send us the moral of the crappy, awful story!

Alright all you mindless drones, are you ready for another episode of Professor Blastoff? Nick Offerman has found his way to our secret lab and is here to discuss the structure of society. What choice do we have in the roles we play? Are we born to be queens, or do we pick our job in the hive? How would life be different if our careers and sex lives were predetermined? Plus, we have what you’ve all been begging for: BEE TRIVIA! Be sure to join us on Facebook and tell us what you’d like to hear about in future episodes.

We’d like to invite you and your multiple personalities to the first episode of Professor Blastoff! Each week Tig, David, and Kyle will discuss science, philosophy, and the humanities from the abandoned basement of Professor R.L. Blastoff PhD. We begin this week with a discussion on the multiplicity of self. How many facets does the self contain? Where is the line for mental instability? How important is self awareness? What is the difference between Multiple Personalities Disorder and Schizophrenia? How does one pronounce “compartmentalize” correctly? For thoughtful, yet hilarious, answers to these questions and more, join us for our maiden voyage!

Eardrop is the 100-calorie pack of Earwolf. It’s just as deliciously hilarious as our other shows, but in a convenient travel size!

We’re doin’ a nu thang this week on Sklarbro Country! We’ve got three fantastic guests: Hilarious comedian and author Demetri Martin, Academy Award nominated crazy person Gary Busey, and live in-house music from Army Navy. If that doesn’t shake your egg, we’ve got talk of Manny Pacquiao, his bout entrance, and his beautiful singing, the misogynistic outsourcing of cricket cheerleaders, and one of the greatest “pranks” in Austrian swim team history. When you’re done getting your Henderson! on, visit Legal Zoom who will NOT protect you from tweeting incriminating (and illogical) tweets.

John Cabrera is the filmmaker and musician responsible for the web musical The Homes. So what does he think about this new media age? Jeff and John discuss the waning desire for tactile media, the evolution of web content, and the relationship between internet films and indie music. Comment and tell us what you think about all this: Do you still hang onto your physical books? Do you think the difficulty of web navigation will affect the progress of new media? Oh, and if you’re interested in helping Earwolf prepare for the new website launch, volunteer here.

Wedding season is starting, and who better to advise you on your nuptials than Drew Droege? Matt Besser and Sean Conroy, that’s who! We’ll help you through every step of the wedding process, from choosing your DJ to finding the right religious leader for you. Do you want to be in a retirement home still pining after your loved one? Do you want to risk your love by being captured by American naval fleet lead by Charlie Sheen? Are you worried that your busy career in law or journalism could take away from your romance? We’re here to help you out…or you could just watch Bridesmaids instead.

Turn off your cell phone! Unless you’re listening to this on your cell phone…in that case, keep it on for your weekly dose of chartisms. Black Belt Brent Weinbach is fresh off his appearance on Lopez Tonight and is here to dissect the iTunes Hip Hop and Movie charts. Learn about the real East Coast/West Coast battle that is Disney parks, and find out how Natalie Portman lost her spark. Chart Darts are back, plus we get our first ever visit from the adorable Rocky! Now, return to your phone and load it up with awesome ringtones!

Welcome to Hobo Chat, hosted by Scottabot Saucerman. This week, our bumbling argumentative hobos are joined by noted television and film director Paul Feig and acclaimed sketch group The Birthday Boys. In between the drug deals and dumpster diving, if you listen carefully you can hear Paul talk about working on the movie Bridesmaids, and The Birthday Boys pitch some movies of their own. Get your first ever glimpse inside the Earwolf Studios Antechamber and the celebrities we’re storing in there for future episodes. Be sure to “like” Comedy Bang Bang on Facebook, and send your Would You Rather questions to the Comedy Bang Bang WYR Twitter

At Sklarbro Country we pride ourselves on our ability to stay current. That’s why we brought in Brett Erlich from Current TV who talks to us about his father’s collegiate football legacy, his relationship with Al Gore, and his near career as a talent agent. Live music is provided this week by Rhett Miller of The Old 97’s who tells us a bit about his current musical plans and how his band embarrassed Dirk Nowitzki. In light of current world affairs Barack Obama makes his inaugural visit to Sklarbro Country. If you are currently in need of legal assistance visit Legal Zoom, and if you currently have nothing to do check out the strangely arousing Gloria Allred video mentioned on this episode. HENDERSON!

In sixteen episodes of The Wolf Den one question has been left unanswered: Who is Jeff? This week we take time to learn who Jeff is, how he became part of this industry, and why he no longer follows the Cubs. You’ll also get to know Intern Peter who is a vital part of the Sklarbro Country/Earwolf team. Stay tuned to the end if you are curious about Project Tippy Toe, or the newly renamed Comedy Bang Bang. There is a lot happening at Earwolf right now, and The Wolf Den is the best way to keep up with it all.

Some works of art can never be approximated: Mink Stole’s performance in Pink Flamingos, Angela Lansbury’s take on Miss Marple, anyone but Ally Sheedy in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, etc. However, this week Drew and his friends Tanya and Jean present their best reenactments of Toy Story, 12 Angry Men, Annie, E.R., and of course All Things Considered. Please be careful what you do with your excess whale meat, and join us next week when the role of Drew Droege will be played by Jennifer Garner.