A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller’s mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary check-in (and live audience sing-along!) with caller #1, Ron Paul’s Baby.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom’s minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in drug dealing are useful as a brain surgeon? Why did he go vegan? Can he control a monkey’s brain with a special USB stick?

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: STORIES), RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES).

Ever heard of “granary bread?” Yeah? Then you’re probably British, like this week’s caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to Gethard celebrate cultural differences with a mother and social media expert from England’s rural south. Opening up about difficulties in her past, she says: “you know, it was 14 years ago, but it’s still one of those things, when I open my heart to a stranger on the phone, can still make me cry.”

This episode is brought to you by Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Today, Explained.

With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a fulfilling life, regrets and the fear of death. One key lesson: travel if you can, but skip The Mona Lisa, it’s just not that interesting.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).

Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard’s nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his struggle with substances in college and getting sober. Geth also tells a never-before-heard story about an unusual religious ceremony in the rainforest, which involves hallucinogens and terrible diarrhea.

This episode is brought to you by Burrow.com (www.burrow.com code: STORIES), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor’s note to party.

This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and RXBAR (www.RXBAR.com/stories code: STORIES).

A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to farcical.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Zola (www.zola.com/STORIES).

She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a “niche person.” Needless to say, this week’s caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. She explains what it’s like to be on summer break from college and a little boy crazy.

This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

“If anybody has seen hell, it would be me.” What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO’s Crashing.

An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that changes everything about Gethard’s world.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Audible (www.audible.com/CG), and HBO’s Crashing.

Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018. 

Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit.

This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos.

Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about finding solace in the wilderness. He shares some practical tips, like how to hunt and cook wild pig. Hint: Don’t use a fishing spear.

This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com ), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), and Zelle (www.zellepay.com).

The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories.

This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, Casper Mattresses, and Zelle.

Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field.

This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.