Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, and discovers her favorite word: alleged.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and Masters of Scale podcast.

One hour ago, in the rain, this week’s caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new (Snapchat, group texting, nerd culture being cool) and the established (SATs, teen pregnancy, crushes). She also explains how writing Harry Potter fan fiction in the 6th grade led to her current hobby, writing romance novels.

This episode is brought to you by Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).

Should this week’s caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he’s nervous that he’ll lose his financial stability. Chris chats with him about the plusses and minuses at play in this big life decision. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).

Gethard has a threesome! Okay, okay…it’s just a three-way phone call, but this week’s callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what the proper etiquette is in an 8-person orgy, and how they make sure their babysitter doesn’t find out.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).

Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a birth? Politically divisive topics are covered and important lessons are learned (like, never tell a family that the baby looks just like the dad).

This episode is brought to you by Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).

It’s a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week’s caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug known to man. Chris was reminded of the famous quote from professional wrestler Dusty Rhodes: “I have wined and dined with kings and queens and I’ve slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans.”

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Subaru (www.meetanowner.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories), Uber (www.uber.com/drivenow).

Assigned as a female at birth, this week’s caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells Gethard what questions you probably should not ask a trans person. And somehow, this involves the Italian ham known on The Sopranos as “gabagool.”

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).

After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself traveling the world as a cruise ship musician. Get the behind-the-scenes details on life at sea and its secret black market economy, plus hear a very special Springsteen sing-a-long between two Jerseyites.

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful). 

For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul’s Baby. Find out if having his story told to millions of people has changed him for better or worse. Did the spotlight destroy him or save him? Most importantly – has it gotten him some dates?

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Seeso (www.seeso.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/BEAUTIFUL).

A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings out Chris’s anger and rarely-seen “North-Jersey-guy-ready-to-break-bones” side.

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week’s caller to find his path in life. At his father’s urging, he studied water systems engineering, which means he can answer a serious question that’s been on Geth’s mind: Why does the tap water smell so weird in Florida? The answer to that question may be a bit hard to grasp, but understanding will be found in the idea that a good father will respect his child’s hard work and dedication.

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories).

The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about dealing with his conservative religious family. The conversation spans from breaking down western stereotypes about Indian culture, to the amazing dosa place that Gethard goes to in Queens.

This episode is brought to you by Seeso (www.seeso.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful).

Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to “disconnect from her ex-boyfriend’s power grid”. Love, in the language of electricity. Sit back and soak up the metaphors.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Blue Apron (www.blueapron.com/beautiful), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful).

Today’s caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain one’s idealism and passion when suffering from chronic illness. Also, he hopes the Beautiful Anonymous community can help him find a permanent home for a dog he’s currently fostering.

This episode is brought to you by Mailchimp (www.mailchimp.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Match.com (www.match.com/beautiful).

Gary makes a devil’s bargain with guest Wyatt Cenac to keep Chris from discovering his terrible secret. In the meantime, the dreams keep flowing: a salty dive off a waterfall, Jimmy Buffett’s parenting skills, and a McDonalds ball-pit… of death!

Go to www.casper.com/dreams and use the offer code “DREAMS” for $50 off your next mattress purchase.